Friday, May 3, 2013

Xenosaga 3 is full of assholes.

 I´ve kept this blog cussing free, well, I censored the few outbursts I had. Not anymore, Xenosaga deserves no favors.
 For starters, every character is an asshole. Everyone. Young Kevin? Major Asshole. He is disgustingly annoying, they tried to give him a "cute" scene, but it didn´t work. Joachim Mizrahi? Another asshole, and you get bossed around by him. At least it´s better than getting bossed around by Jr. Young Virgil? Well, to be fair, Virgil was an asshole since episode 1, but he was the original Asshole of Xenosaga, so I allow it, besides, they also gave him a scene in which he shows a softer side, and y´know what? His scene actually worked, they pulled it off with him, not so with Kevin. Stop making assholes, only to try to make them have a soft side, it makes your cast samey.
 And Shion? I don´t know what to think of her. In Xenosaga 1, she was mousy, nerdy but a go getter. Her outward appearance was really good, for a JRPG, her clothes, while all the vector employees wore them, didn´t reveal much, and she wore glasses. GLASSES. By XS 2 they said "fuck it", removed the glasses, and gave her more revealing clothes. Xenosaga 3? No glasses, more skin. She actually has a Zettai-Ryuki now. Anyways, they did something else in part 3.... they made her a douche. She still has hissy fits, she had´em since Saga 2, but now she´s also an asshole about it. I seriously can´t stand her now.
 Jr? Jr is my most despised character EVER. EVER. Xenosaga 2 was based around him, getting through that game was quite the struggle. And now? He hasn´t changed. At least the focus is back to Shion(Not that she is that much better as a protagonist). Still, Jr is involved in almost EVERY conversation and/or cutscene. And the first time you see him? He is bossing around the party. WHO MADE YOU THE BOSS? I MADE chaos(It´s spelled like that all the time) LEAD THE PARTY EVER SINCE XS2, YOU ARE THE BOSS OF NOTHING, YOU CONCEITED BRAT. And what annoys me the most, is how he has the most lines, second to Shion. They managed to add him into every single conversation. I CAN´T STAND HIS VOICE.
 Anyways, so what went on last time I played? "We can´t repair KOS-MOS, her black box is damaged". Minutes later? They find plans and repair her.... BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BLACK BOX?. And her new design? It´s as fanservicey as they could get it. Y´know what the very first shot of the new design is? An upskirt shot. A friggin´ upskirt shot. And you want to take me KOS-MOS? Then treat her seriously. Don´t give her clothes that only serve as fetish fuel. Don´t exploit camera angles. When Shion and KOS-MOS stood back to back, ready to fight, it looked really cool. Do more like that and less fanservice.
 Speaking of Shion, just before the Testament attacked, guess what? Ziggy, Jin and Jr are fighting him, Shion appears, and Jr says "Stay back, Shion!". Seriously? If this was XS 1, I´d buy it, maybe Jr. doesn´t know about Shion´s skills.. I love chivalry, and not in a sexist way. But you know what? Shion has been involved in these battles since Xenosaga 1. Not only can she hold her own, but she has been fighting these kinds of threats before, and she needs no protection. At all. That was just stupid. "Stay back"? No, Jr, YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE THE FRIGGEN´ GAME, YOU USELESS SACK OF SHIT. On the plus side, Ziggy got some scenes and lines!, sadly not with MOMO. Seems that Father-daughter relationship they developed in XS1 was forgotten. And MOMO? Is she gonna be shoved to the sidelines? When is she gonna get some scenes?
 Oh, and funny thing, after the "Let´s repair KOS-MOS" conversation, they said "Hey, you should try out the new game", and Shion said "Yeah, I need to relax, maybe I´ll head to the lounge". They would´t make me play that Piece of Shit minigame, right? They wouldn´t shoehorn it into the main story... right?. So I went into the lounge, nothing happened. "Maybe I need to go to the church and speak with NPCS?". I took this chance to take the long roads and grind a bit, since I haven´t had chances to backtrack. Nope, nothing. They actually expect you to at least turn on the Hakuox minigame. Really? I tried it before. It´s not fun. Making you play it is so, so concieted of them. Maybe they thought "THIS MINIGAME IS AWESOME, IF THEY TRY IT AT LEAST ONCE, THEY WILL SEE". No. It´s not fun. And better yet? The second you leave the minigame, a scene takes place and you are to fight a boss. Gee, I hadn´t saved before... And the boss? He was interestingly hard. And once he placed a Physical barrier? Oh boy. Boss fights in this game are fun, they are challenging. Wish I could´ve saved before though!
 So yeah, I´m enjoying all the gameplay aspects of the game, even those hour-long stretches with no fighting, just walking around. But I can´t stand the main leads. I can´t stand the NPCs. I can´t stand the dialogue. And the story is so bad... On the bright side, the story is not AS bad as part 2, since Jr. isn´t the lead, but man, do they find ways to have him talk... And the battles are actually fun and challenging. Xenosaga 2 random battles were hard because it forced you to play certain characters to face certain enemies. The "Grounded" and "air" mechanics were dumb, the whole battle system was dumb. Xenosaga 3´s system is fun. So even if the story is almost as bad, I enjoy the "playing" part of the game, and in the end, that´s what matters.
I hope Jr. dies in the end.

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