Review #240: TMNT(PSP)

 Makes me wanna cry.

 A few years ago, TMNT - The Movie was released to a somewhat lukewarm reception. While the critics were mostly negative, the movie did do well, and the high quality of the visuals and animation was undeniable. That said, up to this point in time, Konami had developed each and every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, but it was Ubisoft's turn now. And they botched it.

 The game follows the movie's storyline, told throughout movie stills and a few, short movie clips, all of which contain no voiced scenes. It's expected of the player to have seen the movie beforehand, because the game makes a poor job at explaining what's happening and why, but if you watched the movie you'll be able to fill in the gaps. Still, this is not a game where the story plays a big part, so not understanding the story isn't a big deal, and even if you make sense of it, it can't pull this game forward. There's also a Multiplayer Mode, but it being the PSP 'n all... I kinda had no way of trying it out!

 The game is made up of two different components: Platforming sections and Combat sections. The Platforming is the least bad of them both, you move your turtle towards blue sparks, and then you'll see one to three other blue sparks in the distance. Now you must press Square to jump to the spark on the left, Triangle to go towards the one in front of you or Circle to go to the one on the left. You should be timing your button presses in order to go faster, the better you do, the more health you'll recover throughout these segments. Besides the occasional 'that spark was on the left yet I'm supposed to press Triangle?!', these sections are functional... but dull. Really, not much happens during these sections, and they aren't very exciting, which would've made up for how automatic they feel.

 And then there's the fighting... and it's very clunky. Aiming your attacks is tough, the four turtles and the NightWatcher(Raphael with a chain) move all over the place while you press the X button, and there's something very off about the ways your attacks interact with the enemies. Something about it feels very clunky, the animations are ugly, for some reason your turtles stop dead on their tracks for 1 to 2 seconds after finishing an attack string... which can be avoided by abusing the 'Block' button to cancel animations. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why it's so bad, but I think the word 'cheap' fits the bill. It feels as if you were playing a mobile game. Landing hits doesn't feel satisfying, the animations are so rough that it makes the fighting look awkward. And by the by, each Turtle is assigned to a different level, so you can't even pick your poison.

 As for the presentation.... It's a glorified mobile game. Graphics are disgustingly simple, animations are choppy and stiff, there's no voice acting and the music is pretty much forgettable. Level design is repetitive, and the visual design is uninspired. Every city stage, which must take up about 10 of the 15 levels looks about the same. And even worse, the game is rather short, each level easily takes less than 10 minutes to complete.... and yet the game is so boring, so dull, that it feels as if it would never end.

 TMNT on the PSP is terrible. It's uninspired and lifeless, poorly made and with nary a single redeeming quality. This is the kind of game you play if you hate yourself.
 1.5 out of 10