Game #1035: Lemony Snicket's - A Series of Unfortunate Events

  Now I really want to read these books...

 Lemony Snicket's: A Series of Unfortunate Events is yet ANOTHER bargain bin licensed game based on a movie I didn't watch. Hey! These last few games I've been playing were like 2 a pop so I said why not, let's waste some pocket change. But hey, at least it's not another LOTR videogame wannabe.

 First impressions were most definitely not good. Cutscenes had an obnoxious amount of slowdown, movement was super janky, to the point you must be PERFECTLY still when you press circle to push things otherwise the game won't register the input and the game starts off making you find objects. Yeah.... I thought I was gonna hate the game. But... but it grows on you, the game is decently fun, I promise.

 The game follows a very strict formula all throughout: Find certain specific items around the environment you are in, sometimes they are hidden in plain sight, otherwise you might have to solve a simple puzzle or platforming challenge, and once you find everything you assemble the items together through a boring minigame and then you clear an obstacle that required this new tool, rinse and repeat. But as formulaic and dull as that sounds, the game keeps throwing different challenges at you, so it's not boring at all.

 The puzzles can be pretty decent, particularly the ones in which you must actively switch between Klaus and Violet to proceed and the platforming gets the job done. Where more work could've gone was into the combat, as fighting enemies ranges from boring, mostly the bosses, to a bit lame. You either mash square with Klaus to punch them to death or mash square with Violet to shoot them to death. It's not very involved and most of the enemies are repeated over and over again. Boss fights aren't even hard, but they have too much health making them boring. The best approach would've been, considering how easy they are, to make them fall after you hit them three times.

 I've played better licensed games, but I thought that A Series of Unfortunate Events is a decent, uncomplicated time, and, hey, it made me want to read the books, so that's gotta count for something.

 6.0

Game #1034: Disney's Tarzan - Return to the Jungle

 Loincloths are back in vogue.

 Not one to stop playing dated, licensed garbage on the GBA, here we have Disney's Tarzan: Return to the Jungle, a platforming game that gives Sonic a run for is money when it comes to speed.

 The game has short proper animated cutscenes which I think are borrowed from the show considering Tarzan's loincloth is a different shade of brown from the one in the movie clips from the PS1 game. That said, midway through the game Jane and her father introduce themselves to Tarzan so it's hard to pinpoint just when this game is supposed to take place. Not that it really matters, all things considered, but it definitely doesn't follow the plot from the movie.... even if it covers Tarzan growing up and Tarzan meeting Jane, albeit in very different ways.

 The first few levels were surprisingly fun. The game is incredibly fast paced, to the point that it's entirely possible to get hit by stuff you just couldn't see coming. It also threw me off just how janky it can feel considering it's a 2-D game. Climbing edges or jumping on vines can sometimes look very spotty, but, in a weird way, it compliments the game's speed so I didn't really mind it. If anything, I think that performing high jumps seems like luck of the draw, sometimes Tarzan will make it to the edge of the platform and climb on top and other times he won't, so if you can't jump up a wall... keep trying a few times, you just might make it.

 You start the game as child Tarzan and his boomerang, but after 3 or 4 levels you get downgraded to adult Tarzan... Downgraded, because he trades the boomerang for spears that run out. Which sucks until you realize that you have a rolling attack. The game NEVER tells you about it, but pressing the attack button while running will let Tarzan perform Sonic's spin attack. Would've been nice to know a few levels ago while I was counting my precious spears.

 Sadly I think the game gets worse as it goes along, because level design takes a dive. Midway through there's a mazelike level in which you have to find 8 monkeys. If you make it to the end without finding them... tough luck, go back on your tracks and try to find them. The next maze-like level is the final one, and it's a bit easier but still entirely possible that you might miss a Dinosaur Egg before you reach the end, and the end of the level has you running from a Giant Dinosaur in which not landing the high jump fast and well enough will cost you a life. Oh, and in one level there's a gate that requires a key... I was able to simple jump over the gate through the ceiling. Speaking of keys, levels that require finding keys are usually the worst, because levels are huge, both horizontally and vertically. There's one in which a special blue-coated Pirate holds the key, and you don't even know you'll need a key to finish the level or that an enemy might hold it. While I was backtracking to search for this key I felt this enemy looked special enough so maybe, JUST maybe it had the key. I was right. But I could've just avoided him, because... why not? It's not like enemies held keys before.

 It's kinda disappointing because Return to the Jungle starts off really fun, but the level design just becomes more and more annoying the further you go through the game. For as many tutorials as the game has, why you are never told about the rolling attack is beyond me. Still, at least the game has a few decent levels here and there, so it's not a complete loss.

 4.5

Game #1033: The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

 'Cause sometimes you gotta get inside the closet.

 Yes, another bargain bin game based on a movie I didn't watch, however, I did read The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, as well as the rest of the Narnia series, so it's not like I'm completely in the dark. Considering it was yet another game I bought for a couple of bucks I didn't really expect anything too good, however, the game proved to be a little more than I... bargained for.

 If you're gonna rip something off might as well rip off the best, and in that regard this game takes more than a few cues from the Lord of the Rings games, and it's all the better for it. The simple button mashing combat, the decent movie clip-to-gameplay transitions, the menu, the extras such as recording sessions... it feels like another entry in that series of the games. There's a tiny issue with the presentation, and that has to do with the game being built around co-op. So, in order to facilitate that, Edmund now goes inside the Wardrobe alongside Lucy for the first time on the first stage... but since they couldn't edit the scenes from the movie, after the level finishes Edmund, like the other two siblings, doesn't believe Lucy about the world inside the Wardrobe... Even though he was in it! That aside, it felt like a decent adaptation of the story, and there's a really good amount of footage from the movie.

 So, gameplay, it's based around co-op. On most levels you'll have all four siblings available, but sometimes it'll be down to two or maybe even three. Every character has their own unique context-sensitive actions: Lucy can crawl inside tight spots, Edmund can climb on trees, Peter is the strong one so he can break stuff the others can't and Susan is the only one that can attack from afar. There are other abilities, but that's the brunt of it. That said, puzzles are very sparse, as most of the game is a beat'em up. Peter and Edmund are the most developed in this regard, getting exclusive attack combos that can easily waste enemies. There are plenty of abilities to buy, with money found spread around every level.

 And if that was it, that'd be just fine, it's just that... the game was built around multiplayer but the friendly AI is useless and the enemy AI is relentless. Most of the time you're beating up enemies you're also trying to do something. For example, there might be gnomes shooting at you, so Susan must take them out with her bow. But the CPU won't use Susan's bow, so it's up to you, but the enemy AI will SWARM the player, while the friendly AI does nothing. It feels borderline unfair at times. The Beaver level is incredibly annoying, as the same three cutscenes, Beaver kidnapped, Wolves Returning and Trolls returning, will play over and over again, so you'll have to rush, as Susan, to take them out. But as you move from place to place enemies will try to attack you, preventing you from shooting at your targets. And do remember, you are under time constraints. It's like the game, at least in Single Player, is constantly towing the line between fun and annoying.

 Weighing the good and the bad... I think the fun I had with the game outweighed by a little all the annoyances. It's definitely not as good as the games its trying to imitate, but it tried and I think it's a fairly decent licensed game all things considered, and it's probably more fun with another player in tow.

 6.0

Game #1032: Guilty Gear Strive

  Can't you see I'm blazing?

 It's been a while since I last got hyped about a fighting game, and Xrd never managed to really gel with me, it's seems they went hard about going full anime and full Blazblue with the waifu archetypes and the fanservice. And then... Guilty Gear Strive was announced. Brilliant character redesigns, brilliant character picks(Except Ramlethal... but gotta keep the waifu-lovers happy I guess), brilliant new characters that actually fit Blazblue and the soundtrack, OH. MY. GOD. the Soundtrack! Yeah, I was hyped for Strive. Well, the game managed to most of my expectations, but as per usual with ArkSys, it has some digital content shenanigans involved.

 First things first, only 15 characters. Kinda. Here's my biggest issue with the game: The beta had all 15 characters. They announced 15 characters. The back of the box boasts about 15 characters. So why the **** do I have to download the patch to play as Anji and Ino? Why are there less content on the disc than there was on the beta? Why did they ship the game like this? English voices are also missing and part of the Story Mode is also missing. The disc is a glorified download key. The game shouldn't have shipped like this, and yes, this did sour some of my time with the game.

 Mode offering is alright. You get the visual-novel styled Story Mode... and I won't lie, I didn't even check it out. This approach ArkSys has been taking with Blazblue and Guilty Gear with their story modes that have 0 gameplay isn't really my thing and I wasn't a fan of where they took the plot since Xrd, so... yeah, I didn't even check it out. But it brings a close to Sol's story, if that's your thing. There's a very basic training mode but the game continues its tutorial through Mission Mode, and it's pretty thorough, even going into some pretty basic match-up hints VS every character. So, yeah, Mission mode is a must if you want to learn the ins and outs. There's also a Training Mode, VS CPU and Survival. Lastly, Arcade Mode. There's no real ending, and the most story you get are a few dialogue lines with your Rival(if you trigger it) and the final boss. I don't mind having such a barebones Arcade Mode, Guilty Gear never paid much mind to it, however, the difficulty is bullshit. The difficulty increases the better you play and decreases if you lose, thing is... it won't decrease until you get to the next fight. I'm AWFUL with Millia and I was stuck against an Extreme difficulty Potemkin. I was stuck for like an hour trying to beat him. Why not let the player select the difficulty setting they want? It's so dumb. And the secret boss? Oh my god, the secret boss takes very little damage and hits like a truck. It wasn't a fun time.

 Fishing is back too, and thankfully, no more random worthwhile rewards such as colors. ON the other hand, you only get 6 colors per character, so maybe that's why. Not to say that rewards aren't random, fishing gets you random stuff like always, but at least it's not the stuff you actually want... because there are no unlockables you actually want.

 Gameplay has been streamlined a bit, roman-cancelling is back and so are bursts, but combos are shorter and the game isn't as fast. It's still fast, mind you, but not quite. The game looks amazing, and I really liked the new dynamic camera that zooms, turns and shifts around when powerful moves are landed, dust pop ups are landed, you 'break' the wall left-or-right and transition to another part of the stage or a round concludes. It adds a lot of excitement to the match. The one thing I miss... is that Instant Kills were completely removed. They've been a staple of the series since the very first game, so I don't know why they did it... except maybe because it was rushed?

 If you can't tell... the game feels very rushed when it comes to content. A paltry amount of alternate colors, missing content that must be downloaded, not a whole lot of interesting unlockables... It's quite disappointing. That said, I think the rest of the game is top notch. It has the best soundtrack in the series, a lot of the music has lyrics, and I truly adored all the new redesigns as well as the two new characters. Still, I can't shake the feeling that with a few more months of development time and thus releasing a properly finished disc would've been SO much better.

 8.5

Game #1031: Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones

  Should've stayed in a galaxy far, far away.

 I never, ever forgot about Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones for the GBA because it was one of the worst games I had ever played on the system. That holds true even now. It looks, plays and feels like a Chinese bootleg NES game, no wonder THQ lost the license.

 The game takes 11 stages to cover the plot from the movie, and thankfully it's about an hour long, so your suffering ends quickly. You play as this ugly, gigantic sprite of either Anakin or Obi-Wan, as well as Mace Windu in a single level, as you go through some of the most boring stages ever devised. It also has 3 vomit-inducing first-person flying stages that go on for too long. Well, some of the main stages, like the Tattooine level and the factory level also feel like they go on forever. Constantly going left-to-right, praying that the enemy waves end one day.

 The game is a beat'em up, but it's so stiff. Your characters take like half a second to turn around, and sometimes after landing from a jump your character won't react to your inputs. Attack is so weird, you must hold down the A button and then press different directions on the directional pad to perform different attacks. Your sprite is gigantic, and as you go from left to right, enemies will fly or run towards you giving you no time to react to them, so sometimes it's safer to just move around by performing jumping kicks. You also get Force Powers, your force gauge fills automatically up to certain point, but to charge it past the threshold, and perform stronger attacks, you need to pick up orbs left behind by fallen enemies.

 The only force power you can perform at the level it automatically refills to is the Super Jump.... a technique that is required to proceed on some levels. Do you know what this means? Some levels will have you WAITING for the gauge to refill so that you can continue super jumping forward. Whose idea was it?? I demand names. Oh, and the game runs on passwords. Fun times.

 Attack of the Clones looks and plays like garbage, and it's boring to boot too. I've no qualms in saying that this is the game I hate the most on the system, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not a single positive to its name. NOTHING. The game is as lifeless as Anakin's delivery. I went there.

 0.5

Game #1030: Ghost Rider(Gameboy Advance)

  You could say he is very hot-headed.

 I feel like Marvel had a very decent success with their games on the Gameboy Advance, and Ghost Rider follows that trend. Not an exceptional game by any means, it's still a fairly decent beat'em up to the play on the go.

 This game is quite probably the closest thing the GBA got to something like Devil May Cry or God of War, as it's a beat'em up in which you get your combos graded, and the better you do the more purple souls you get which you can then use to enhance your stats. You have to main forms of attacking, punch combos with the B button and chain combos with the A button. If you wanna get naughty you can then use special moves, such as grabbing enemies with the chain by holding down A, perform aerial punches, the trademark Penance Stare or even use mana to set you body on fire. Or why not perform a sliding kick? The combat system is not super deep or anything, but your attacks look and feel powerful, and the combat system is snappy enough to feel good. That said, blocking enemies are just pricks, I wish they'd stop blocking my attacks!

 As not to get stale too quickly, every now and then you get behind-the-back bike stages which mix avoiding obstacles with a very rudimentary combat system: Just mash B when they are next to you or A if they are in front of you. Bike stages were a bit boring, but I feel like they give the player a necessary respite from the main meat of the game.

 Yeah, Ghost Rider is a neat little brawler on Nintendo's handheld. There are better beat'em ups to be found on the system for sure, but it considering how poorly so many GBA games have aged... this one can still stand on its own.

 6.5

Game #1029: Rat Attack!

  Did somebody call the exterminator?

 Ahh, yes, it's time for yet another game I wanted to play back when I was younger but never got to. It was impossible to avoid ads for Rat Attack!, although it was the N64 version I actually wanted since, well, I was a Nintendo lad. And even the mediocre reviews, once they came out, didn't deter me from longing for this game, which is how we end up here.

 This is the entire game: You get thrust into an square arena filled with objects, obstacles, hazards and pads. There's always at least one pad, the Eradicator, but other bonus pads may appear such as the enemy cloner and enemy upgrader. It's not too long before the rats spawn, and it's your job as a S.C.R.A.T.C.H Cat to kill them all. There are multiple ways to do so. Collect cat coins and unleash your super move, unique for each cat, maybe they get murdered by the same hazards that could kill you.... or you go, capture them and touch the eradicator pad to finally kill them. That's th game, and it holds true for all 40 stages.

 I like the aesthetics, I liked the idea but... the gameplay is way too basic, so the game gets boring during the first five stages. There's a multiplayer component which is probably more enjoyable, but sadly the mechanics aren't good enough to sustain the single player campaign. It's nice that you have different cats to choose from, and while their stats and designs are different, they all play basically the same.

 Yeah... Rat Attack! has a neat concept, but it's not good enough for a full-fledged game. I give it bonus points for the aesthetics, but that's as far as I could go.

 

3.0