Game #1347: The Callisto Protocol

 Welcome to Broken Space.

 I got late to the party, but I got into Dead Space and I finally understood what the hoopla was all about. Sadly, EA did an EA and closed down Visceral Studios. So, imagine this, you are part of the team that made Dead Space and you get the chance to show EA how wrong they were by making an spiritual successor to DS, namely, The Callisto Protocol. What's more, EA announces a DS remake, so now you get to show them what's good. Except that EA knocks it out of the park and you ruin your once chance. 

 Firstly, this is just a spiritual sequel to Dead Space, as the gameplay is quite different. The visceral feel to the combat is here, but now it focuses on Melee combat rather than trying to tear your enemies limb from limb. But hey! At least it looks the part, as this could've been very well a Dead Space Spin-off, something akin to 'Dead Space: Warrior Within" or somethin', as the futuristic/horror direction is pretty much identical. The monsters you fight here could've very well been on Dead Space.

 The combat is... while it looks and feels satisfying, it sure is odd. When an enemy approaches you with an attack, or if you approach them with your own, the camera will soft-lock into the enemy, and then tapping left or tight will make you dodge incoming attacks. I had heard that the game was supposed to be hard, but it was very easy... at least when it came to fighting baddies. Going unscathed is quite easy, as long as you remember to focus on upgrading your melee weapon and using your guns ONLY as melee-combo finishers.

 Early on you also get a Gravity Arm which you can use to pull enemies towards you and then push them, and the game offers a ton of insta-kill environmental hazards for you to push your enemies into. I used it every now and then, but the melee weapon and the basic pistol carried me throughout the entire game just fine. There aren't puzzles to waste your time either, just you, abandoned futuristic environments and lots of gruesome baddies waiting to have their skulls caved-in.

 The game is quite linear, and it will penalize you if you are not careful, for y'see, even though it's linear, sometimes there are forks in the road that may offer you goodies. And you want goodies, since you can then sell them and you money to upgrade your equipment.... but here's the rub, the game LOVES to lock doors behind you, and it's never quite clear if you went into the optional fork in the road or the 'right one'. And since the game runs on a checkpoint system.... you might have to reload every now and then once you realize you are on the right path and  the game decided to lock you into that road.

 So, it sounds like a decent, if unimpressive game, clearly deserving of the lukewarm reception it got, right? Well.... the game is absolutely busted. It's ridiculous, because I looked up "Callisto Protocol PS4 crashes" but all I got were results... about the PS5 version being just as bad. I also came across idiots claiming how "The game will receive day 1 patches!"...so? I'm playing what's printed on the disc, and what's printed on the disc should, at the bare minimum, be playable.

 But it's tough. The game crashed during one of the first cutscenes, clearly a sign of things to come, as the game will crash every 20-30 minutes. But, in a way, it helps, because I'm sure there's some sort of memory leak issue that makes the game run worse and worse the more you play it, until the unavoidable crash.

 It can get so bad that just swinging your weapon drops the framerate to the single digits. But it usually fixes when you restart the game. Usually. Sometimes some sections are borderline unplayable, if there are breakable glass nearby... do avoid accidentally breaking it during a fight, or your PS4 will struggle like it never has before. Remember when I said that the game is, combat-wise, easy? Well, sections that should be easy as pie become tough because you are swarmed by enemies as the framerate struggles to keep up. Chapter 4 has a section with a giant fan in the middle, and pushing enemies into it should be dead simple... except that the framerate makes it impossible to aim. And this one wouldn't get better even after restarting/crashing the game.

 And that's not even getting into how broken the subtitles are. Sometimes they just choose to disappear, so, yeah, they even screwed up the subtitles. Oh, and I fell through the ground twice. And this isn't a bug, but when Jacob, the main character, gets the cervical implant graved onto his spine... the character model barely emotes while the voice actor puts his all into selling how much pain Jacob is in. Utterly hilarious. And during cutscenes, when Jacob gets attacked, monsters usually come textureless, looking all glossy, which is also funny.

 If the PS4 couldn't run the game it shouldn't have released at all.... except that I accidentally installed the patch, because the PS4 is such a garbage console that you can't turn off patches. But I gave it a try, just for giggles.... and the game runs BEAUTIFULLY. It's like night and they, you can be fighting five enemies at the same time and the framerate won't drop. And this made me even angrier because this means that the PS4 could run this game perfectly, but they just rushed it.

 So... the game is fixed, and it runs well and I did enjoy the game when I wasn't suffering all the crashes and the such... but what I'm interested in is in what is on the disc I purchased, because the Servers won't be online forever, and what is on the disc is borderline unplayable. An absolutely disgusting release. Oh! And the ending? It's DLC.

 2.0

Game #1346: Dead Cells - Return to Castlevania

  It comes crashing down.

 Well.... this is the fourth time I've purchased Dead Cells, but Dead Cells: Return to Castlevania is the most complete version yet. I've already talked at length about Dead Cells, no, really, so I'll just focus on the new and the changed.

 So... last time I played the game I had spent over 70 hours in it, and gone through Rise of the Giant and Bad Seed... this one includes 3 more DLCs, Barrels of Fun, a new biome, The Dead Sea and the Queen, which adds two new bosses and two new biomes, as well as the Castlevania DLC, which adds 3 new biomes, I think, and a two phase-boss. Of course, there's also a ton of new weapons, as well as reworked weapons. And don't even let me get started on the costumes, as there's an obscene amount of costumes now.

 As per usual, all the new additions are fantastic, I was particularly fond of Death's Scythe, which turns fallen enemies into explosive souls that home-in to nearby enemies! The game is just as fun, and I had a blast going through the new areas... so much so that I sunk in another 30 hours into the game on a four-day period.

 They also added a new feature... Assist Mode. Now you can tweak the game to make it easier, going as far as decreasing the damage you take, as well as enemy health by 80%, so I was finally able to get all five Boss Stem Cells, get to the true boss and get the true ending. Not bad! Plus, playing like this makes you feel so powerful, and it's so satisfying having enemies explode all around you, it's glorious and makes the game more approachable for anyone and everyone.

 So, yeah, on of my favorite games of all time is still one of my favorite games of all time... but this rerelease is not perfect, as the game has now become prone to crashing. Every two runs, or run-and-a-half, the game will crash. Which can be quite painful when it happens after you find a blueprint for a new item and now you have to start the biome from the start, but hey, every time it happened I got the blue print again AND each stage is so short that it's not TOO unbearable... just a little.

 But yeah, crashes aside this is the best Dead Cells has EVER been. And mind you, the game was a blast from day one, but the amount of content this beast holds by now.... it's a thing of beauty.

10

Game #1345: The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles

  You've been served!

 Well, Phoenix Wright is back.... back to the past, as now we take control of Ryunosuke Naruohodo, Wright's ascendant, in a game I never thought we'd ever see officially translated: The Great Ace Attorney Chonicles. This is a two-in-one compilation of the duology, and if you know anything about Ace Attorney... it's that these are lengthy games, so boy, are you in for a ride...

 These games don't really break the mold, they are the same visual novel/graphic adventure mix that the original games are. Divided into chapters, each is compromised of two different gameplay segments: Investigation, in which you, in first person, travel from place to place, usually the crime scene, in order to talk to NPCs as well as gather clues from the environment to use on the other segment, the court case itself. The Court is when it gets interesting, as Witnesses will offer their testimony and it's your job to find contradictions by presenting the appropriate evidence. It's as great as it's ever been.

 This duology adds a new addition to the gameplay as well as a couple of new wrinkles to the court cases. Joined by Herlock Sholmes himself, during certain Investigation phases you'll have to 'help' Sholmes arrive to the correct deduction. This is done by observing the environment or presenting the right piece of evidence. One of the new tweaks to the formula is the Jury, sometimes, the Jury will decide that your client is guilty, so you must pit jury member against jury member, by getting them to say stuff that contradicts another member, in order to continue the trial. I wouldn't say I was particularly fond of either, but I didn't mind them. The other addition is that sometimes two witnesses will present a joint testimony, in which case, sometimes they might react to what the other one said, and you can 'pursue' them for more information. I wasn't particularly fond of these new additions, but I didn't mind them.

 The new cast of characters was quite endearing, and I think I ended up caring more about Ryunosuke than Phoenix, but it's been a while since I last played a proper Ace Attorney, so I might be downplaying Pheenie! Ryunosuke's assistant was irritating at first, with all her 'Susato takedowns', but she grew on me. This is also true about Sholmes, he was infuriating at first, but the more you realize he is not as stupid as he acts the more you'll like him. But, yeah, most of the characters ended up growing on me, while Ryunosuke I liked from the get-go. The story was fairly interesting too, although I felt that reusing so many characters from the first game was a bit... lazy.

 The first game breaks a lot of series' conventions, which felt a bit off to me. The Investigation and Trial sections were clearly divided, meaning, while in the original games a single chapter would swing you from the court to the investigation to the court again to more investigating.... in this one you don't go back and forth, first you investigate and then you go to court until the chapter ends. Heck, one of the cases didn't even have an investigation phase, and another one is just an investigation phase!

 It also felt a bit cheap. In a few Correction sections I instantly realized what I had to point out, but the game wouldn't accept it until I inspected it before. Like, dude, I already figured it out, just move on! And, thankfully, this game comes bundled with its sequel.... because this one leaves a TON of stuff unanswered, it's egregious.

 The sequel plays it closer to home, so now you do go back and forth between investigations and trials, which I enjoyed a fair bit. You can also equip alternate costumes on Ryunosuke, Susanto and Sholmes! My one gripe, is that I hated the second case's setup, because, naturally, you want the plot to move forward, but this case is set during the first game.... why? It was so annoying, I wanted the plot to keep on pushing, but this feels like such a pace-killer. I realize they were using it to set-up somo of the big reveals for the finale, but it was still annoying. They also brought back the most annoying character of the original game.

 That said, if the Ace Attorney developers know something.... it's how to deliver an emotional finale, and this is no exception. It was very fulfilling and exciting. Overall, I'd say that despite the second case... the sequel is a much superior game, but there's no point to playing it without playing the first game, as you are missing out if you don't play the sequel, and a lot of stuff won't make sense unless you played the first. Two halves of a whole.

 I loved coming back to the Ace Attorney series, and this game is yet another banger. Court dismissed!

9.0

Game #1344: Oceanhorn - Monster of Uncharted Seas

 Not all Zeldas have pointy ears.

  I first learned of Oceanhorn: Monster of the Uncharted Seas back when I was in love with the PS Vita, and always felt kinda bummed I missed out on the physical release. And then I missed out on the Switch release.... but, praise the seas, it rereleased alongside Oceanhorn 2, so I finally get to play this little game that eluded me for about 6 years.

 Oceanhorn is a Zelda clone, Wind Waker in particular, through and through. You, as a little guy in a blue tunic, long before Link wore his in Breath of the Wild, get to travel through various Islands, going through dungeons, bombing walls, collecting pieces of heart, the works.

 Every Island has its own set of goals, which grant you Adventurer XP, and when you raise your Adventurer rank you get tiny perks, such as carrying more bombs or arrow, nothing game-changing, but enough to entice you to defeat enemies and try to clear subgoals. Much like Zelda, the main quest is about getting new tools, of which there aren't all that many, and then using them to find treasure and solve puzzles.

 Sailing is fairly on-rails, unlike Wind Waker, so you just pick an Island and you automatically sail to your destination. Exploring and talking with NPCs will slowly reveal the location of more Islands for you to explore.

 The game is a bundle of charm, travelling around felt so much fun despite how admittedly clunky the game is at times. Y'know, movement is a bit off, sometimes the collision boxes are suspicious, etc... but the game, as a whole, works well. The sense of adventure is ever-present, as the smaller size of every island, when compared to "triple A games", makes the whole thing feel cozy, which works in its favor. Oceanhorn is good, y'know?

 8.0

Game #1343: Steel Assault

 Try not to get hooked.

 I've been interested in Steel Assault pretty much since the game was announced, and it's been a long wait, but finally it got a physical release. This is a 16-bit-esque 2-D sidescrolling action game that feels like a cross between Ninja Gaiden and Contra with a dash of Bionic Commando.

 As Taro you get three actions: Whip, Jump and Hook. Your whip doesn't have a lot of range but it can destroy most bullets coming your way. The jump is self explanatory, but you can also use it to slide while crouching in order to perform a slide with invincibility frames. The hook is not as fun to use as it looks, but it doesn't work as you'd expect it to. When you shoot it, it shoots both in front and behind you, and it needs to connect both ends onto something in order for it to stick. If only one end touches a surface then it will break and do you no good. You can aim it in diagonal angles too, and some obstacles require inventive use of this mechanic.

 The game itself is quite fun, and I enjoyed the fast pace.... but even in the normal difficulty it's quite hard. Thankfully it has a Journalist mode so that you can finish the game no matter how bad you are at it. That said.... it's probably so tough because it's very brief. The game itself can be beaten in under an hour and once you are done that's it. No secret character, no unlockable anything, no nothing, which is kind of a shame. A game like this could've benefited so much from, say, an unlockable character with similar but different properties than the main character.

 Steel Assault is a pretty good game, but a bit unremarkable. The 16-bit sprite work is gorgeous, but the game is over before you know it and I didn't feel as if it was very replayable. But hey, it's really good... while it lasts.

 6.5

Game #1342: Powerslave Exhumed

 Mummies, guns and a whole lot of flying.

 I've been meaning to buy Powerslave for a while now, but I was unable to find the PS1 port/remake at the right price and complete in box... well, I'm in luck, since Powerslave Exhumed is a hybrid release that aims to mix together the best elements of the PS1 version alongside the best elements of the Saturn version.

 This is a very interesting beast, as the game looks on the outset as a classic Doom clone set in Egypt, with the 3D environments and sprites for your guns and enemies.... but it's actually more akin to a Metroidvania. Sure, you are finding keys on every level to open up door while you defeat enemies by circle-strafing around them.... but you'll also be unable to reach certain exits until you find the proper power up, be it resistance to lava and poison, gliding or even flying.

 The game has a very fast pace, enemies regularly drop red and blue orbs, the former restoring health and the latter restoring ammo. Ammo in the game is called "weapon power" and every weapon has their own power gauge, and you pick which weapon to restore power to by picking up the blue orbs while having said weapon equipped. It's not a bad take, and while you'll probably run out of ammo at some point you probably will have enough on another gun. Plus, there are plenty of items that fully restore your ammo... if you find them.

 The map is not very good, it shows you which levels have exits you haven't found, but that's about it. Missing health upgrades, abilities or transmitter pieces, the latter which only affect the ending you get.... well, you are out of luck. A few times I had to consult a guide to figure out where to go next or how to get a power up, turns out the "bomb-jump" mechanic is not just a bug, but something you must use in order to reach some upgrades, which was a bit annoying since nothing in the game tells you about this technique. And near the end of the game, there's a "puzzle" in which you must walk through a differently colored floor to deactivate some lasers. You've never needed to do something like this before, or after, which makes it come out of left field. That said, for the most part, the game is fine, and if you remember landmarks and obstacles better than me, you can probably make your game through the game without reaching for a FAQ.

 Powerslave was probably something very unique back in the day, not that I'm saying that it has aged badly, but rather I think the ideas the game has are a bit ahead of its day. And it is a fun time, I liked the Egyptian setting, and the shooting was pretty decent, if a bit rudimentary. It's a good game.

 7.0

Game #1341: Prodeus

 I might be needing glasses, 'cause everything looks blurry.

 Well, the rise of the boomershooter is here, and here is Prodeus. The latest following the trend, it's a fast-paced FPS that borrows plenty from Doom, albeit classic Doom.

 The first thing that you'll notice is that the game looks very blurry. I think it attempts to emulate sprites, but I didn't think the overall look was very... good, at least on Switch. It was done on purpose, quite clearly, but I didn't quite like it. I think you can turn the sprites into 3-D models, but I went for the look that the developers actually intended.

 The game is very lengthy, it has a ton of levels.... for good or o bad. In my case.... I felt it dragged on for too long. There isn't a whole lot of enemy variety, and the weapon system is gimped due to how many weapons share ammo. There are three guns that use bullets, and I never, ever, went back to the first pistol. I switched between the Uzis and the Minigun just for variety's sake. There are also three different shotguns... and why? I always hate it when FPS games have guns that share ammo pools, because you'll always fall back on the ones you like the best. Rockets are shared between the Rocket Launcher and the Grenade Launcher, and I never felt the need to use the GL when the RL got the job done. Yeah, not a good choice. Plus, the weapon-select screen makes it look as if there were more weapons than there actually are, as some slots will never be filled.

 Every level has a bunch of Ore hidden away which can be used to buy new weapons or new perks, such as a double jump or extra ammo capacity. It was pretty neat, but there's a lot of Ore you simply can't get to without the double jump or the dash jump, so making me replay levels wasn't a very appealing idea considering how lengthy the game is already.

 Prodeus is fine, it's an alright game, but I felt it dragged every now and then, so taking breaks every now and then helped. Honestly, if I wanted my modern retro boomershooter fix, I'd stick to Doom or Dusk.

 6.0

Game #1340: Vengeful Guardian MoonRider

  What if Megaman was a Ninja instead of a Robot.

 Made by the same people that made other retro-throwbacks like Chrome Steel and Oniken, Vengeful Guardian: MoonRider is sort of a 2-D SNES-inspired platformer that borrows a lot from Megaman and Shinobi.

 This is a run-and-slash plain and simple. You get to pick between 8 different stags in any order, and every boss you defeat grants you a new special attack. That said, bosses don't have weaknesses and there's no annoying boss rush at the end, so it doesn't follow Megaman's blueprint 1:1. Hidden in pretty much every stage are a few chips, of which you can have up to two equipped at the same time. These range from pretty neat perks such as health or special attack energy regeneration to... to dying in one hit.

 The game is no walk in the park, and you are running on lives, thankfully, continues are limitless, you are simply sent back to the beginning of the stage. That said, on your first game over you are give a chip that halves all the damage you take, which makes the game much, much easier.

 Stages are pretty decent, although a few go on for a wee too long. There are also gimmick stages, much like Megaman, in which you drive a bike. Bosses are really cool, and they look rather Guyver-like. That said, it's a pretty brief game, and there's not much in the way of extras. Being able to play as MoonRider's rival would've been amazing. Still, it's a fun game.

 7.0

Game #1339: Shadow Warrior 3

 Everything is better with ninjas.

 It seems Shadow Warrior was a very successful reboot since it managed to spawn two sequels... one which sadly saw a very limited physical release which is why I skipped right into Shadow Warrior 3. It's another first person shooter, what else did you expect?

 You'd think that a game series would continually keep getting larger and larger... but Shadow Warrior 3 feels smaller in scope than the first one, and it's not just a matter of streamlining, there simply is less game here. Lo Wang's trusty Katana returns, and slicing and dicing enemies in first person still feels great, but... he gets much less weapons. A pistol, dual Uzis, a Shotgun, a Rocket Launcher, a Railgun and a shuriken-gun make up your arsenal. Truth be told, there's a new Finisher mechanic, by filling a gauge as you slay enemies, and defeat an enemy with a finisher will temporarily grant you a bonus weapon, be it a massive sword or hammer or a fireworks-gun, Lo Wang's chi powers were reduced to a simple force-push, and there are way less upgrades you can unlock, and unlike the first game, they don't change how the weapons look, bummer.

 There's one new mechanic, a grappling hook, which is used in context-sensitive areas to platform around, as well as to propel yourself towards enemies. Combat arenas are filled with elemental barrels, to incinerate, electrocute or freeze your enemies as well as other hazards. Most of the time you go from arena to arena, and smaller enemies will spawn endlessly until every 'big' enemy is slain which is a bit cheap.

 There are no bonus game modes beside New Game+/Chapter Select or the Hero Mode(Rogue mode?) and a Survival mode, so there's not much here, and the game is about half as long as the original... which isn't so bad considering the first game felt a bit bloated at times.

 While the game definitely feels lacking in comparison to the original I just can't deny how fun it was. Lo Wang is very fast and nimble, so zipping around an arena while massacring my enemies never got old. A few things could've been done better, the game could've used a few more elements.... but Shadow Warrior 3 ain't a bad time.

7.0

Game #1338: Lost Judgment

  School's back in session.

 The original Judgment was kind of a big surprise because of just how good it was for 'just' a spin off, but damn it if the Ryu Ga Gotoku Team didn't pull it off. Yagami is back with Lost Judgment, and much like they do with the Yakuza games, it builds up on top of what came before it.

 This new entry has Yagami infiltrating a school to find out if there's bullying going on... but it quickly gets tangled up with a case about a guy that molested a woman... but, at the exact same time, murdered a man. I wasn't too thrilled about the plot at first, since the whole highschool angle sounded lame when compared to how personal to Yagami and how original the plot in the first game was but I won't lie, by the end I was hooked. I wouldn't say the plot is AS good as the original, but it's still darn good, and seeing the four amigos that forged their bond by fire in the original game teaming up again was glorious. And it also irks me how the other guys aren't playable yet!

 As per usual, this is a sand-box action/beat'em up game with a very serious main story and a plethora of silly side-quests to tackle. There are only 43 sidequests, which is kinda pathetic for modern Like a Dragon games, but it makes up for those with School Stories. These are 8 sub-plots in which Yagami infiltrates different school clubs that might be tangling with the mysterious Professor. These are pretty hit or miss. Some of them are very brief, like the Casino, which is made up of a single event, or pretty involved, like Boxing, Bike Racing and Robotics so your mileage may vary with this one. Thing is... most of them are grindy, for instance, you must perform each song for the Dance Club FOUR times, and there are four songs in all, and Bike Racing is made up of about 16 duels.... needless to say, hopefully the ones you dislike are not the grindy ones. In my case, I loved the gaming story, since I got to play Virtua Fighter 5, but it felt very brief when compared with Robotics. Robotics is not bad persay, but you have to grind for loot, which may or may not drop, in order to enhance your robots and stand a chance. The final quest unlocked upon finishing every club IS worth it, but man if it isn't a grind. And all in all, a mostly complete playthrough of the game took me 55 hours.

 Combat is similar to the original but more refined. Now Yagami gets a third combat style, Snake, which is good for disarming opponents. Swapping between styles is immediate so you can pull off new types of combos, and in general, you get new tricks with both Tiger and Crane, so there's a lot to play with. I know I'm not the only person that despised the tailing missions in the original, but they decided to double down on them and they are back. There aren't many of them, but they are still boring and clunky. They also introduced some very scripted parkour which doesn't add much to the game, and some boring stealth segments, which.... why? Yakuza is a beat'em up, and I get it, Yagami is a detective.... but why? Yakuza is at its best when you are fighting enemies not avoiding them.

 Lastly, Like a Dragon has been pretty good about DLC, but with this entry.... well, I fear their acquisition of Atlus made Sega learn about being scummy. For instance, you can get a fourth style, boxing, with DLC, which was available on day 1 if I'm not mistaken.... and you can play as Kaito, who gets his own story, for about 25 USD. Guess getting a side campaign as a neat extra, like Majima's in Kiwami 2, is a thing of the past.

 Lost Judgment is really good. I think Judgment felt a bit more special, but Lost Judgment is up there among the best Like a Dragon games too.... now, if only we could get them to ax tailing and stealth sections entirely....

 8.5

Game #1337: Knights and Bikes

 They see me cyclin', they hatin'

 Made by the same mind that crafted Tearaway comes Knights and Bikes. This is a puzzle-based adventure game in which you play as a couple of friends who set out on an adventure for treasure. 

 While it can be played in single player, the game is at its best in multiplayer, as each of the girls gets a different set of tools that double both as weapons and as ways to clear different obstacles. Combat is quite clearly an after-thought, as it feels pointless and drab, which is why it's so surprising just how much combat there actually is in the game. The rest of the game is all about puzzle-solving, and the puzzles themselves are alright, most of the time, but I don't remember the last time I felt so lost when playing a game. And it's baffling really, as this is a very linear game, but so many times we simply didn't know where to go. Should we backtrack? Should we try to find a way forward? Did a new path open up somewhere? Proceeding felt so unclear so many times.

 That said, each girl gets her own bike, and bike customization was kinda cute. I liked accessorizing and painting my bike to suit my taste.... although, for having such an emphasis on your bikes, they are not particularly interesting to ride nor are there interesting courses or stuff to do with them.

 The game goes for 'whacky' when it comes to the story and the characters.... and I can't say I cared about anything. I think I checked out about a third into the game, yadda yadda Demelzia is hunting for treasure yadda yadda she might be insane and imagining everything yadda yadda don't care.

 I'm sorry to say... that even playing this game with my girlfriend was boring. There's something about the game, be it its dumb plot, the minimalistic art-style or the boring gameplay that just lulled me to sleep. There's probably an audience for this game... I'm just not it.

 4.0

Game #1336: NeoGeo Pocket Color Selection Vol. 2

 And there are still games left for volume 3!

 Well, the NeoGeo Pocket was a bit of an underrated console back in the day, so I'm happy that NeoGeo Pocket Color Selection Vol.2 is here, and heck, I'd hope we get a third one. Most of the heavy hitters were already featured on the initial selection, so this one has a few more obscure games... so obscure that some of them don't even feature English, so you have to hope that the translated digital Instruction Booklet is enough.

Baseball Stars Color

 It's a Baseball game. I don't know Baseball and I don't care about Baseball, and guess what? This game didn't make me care about it either. But, yeah, it's a Baseball game.

Big Bang Pro Wrestling

 As the name would suggest, this is a Wrestling game. The graphics look really good, and I really liked the character designs... but I didn't find it very enjoyable. I just couldn't get the timing for the grappling right, either that or the CPU cheats, so it felt... random. I don't know, at least it entertained me for a couple of minutes. 

Biomotor Unitron

 This is a RPG, and it's not horrible, but it's built around a very boring loop. Visit the four neighboring dungeons to get money, use money to buy parts for your robot, rise two ranks in the Arena to unlock more parts, return to the four dungeons to make more money and buy the new parts, rinse and repeat about 4-5 times until you can clear the arena and get access to the parts you need to defeat the bosses in the four dungeons so that you can unlock the final dungeon.

 I can't stress enough just how repetitive it gets by the end, as you have to fight a TON of random, turn-based battles in order to get money, and the story is barely even there, and what little there is ain't very interesting as it's just the story of a kid and his pokemon-like robot and his rise to the top.

Ganbare Neo Poke-Kun

 This one is weird....? You have to wait for this mascot thingie to make mini-games that you can then play? It's almost like a virtual mascot, except that you can only press the A button to make something happen, a mini cutscene of sorts. Honestly, I got bored before I even unlocked a single game. It's boring, at some point I was mindlessly pressing A while watching youtube videos. Too boring.

The King of Fighters: Battle de Paradise

 Have fun playing this board game that's entirely in Japanese. It's not completely unplayable, but there's no way to know, unless you know Japanese, what the items you collect do. So, is it good or bad? Couldn't say since I can't get much out of it due to the language barrier.

Megaman Battle & Fighters

 I'm so happy that this game is here! Having Neo Geo Pocket Sonic would've been just perfect, but hey, I'll take this one. It's a pseudo port of the Arcade Megaman fighting games, as its a sort of compilation-dash-demake of both games. This one doesn't have English language, but since it's a fighter... you don't really need it, although translating the menus in the game itself would've been nice, you can actually see what every item on the menus are on the in-game manual, which was translated to English, thankfully.

 Obviously it's not as good as the Arcade game, but dang if it isn't close.

Neo Geo Cup '98 Plus Color

 Team descriptions in story mode are HILARIOUS. "Best in the world, bad heading", "Best team overall, low goals", "Ok coach". Story Mode has very Akira Toriyama like NPCs, and you can buy items to change the stats of whichever team you picked.

 About as good as a handheld soccer game could be, I actually found it quite enjoyable, and the story mode is a neat bonus.

Pocket Tennis Color

 This one is really cute, really simple and a lot of fun. It's pretty barebones, but it gets the job done, and since it's bundled with all these other games... it doesn't really matter if it's "just" tennis.

Puzzle Link 2

 This one is weird. It's a puzzle game in which tiles slowly drop down in lines from the top. You have to shoot tiles to create a road between them, with the goal of forming a road between two matching tiles. A bit forgettable, but I dug the art direction.

SNK vs Capcom: Card Fighters Clash

 The Neo Geo Pocket's crown jewel, this is an RPG/Card-battling game. Split into two versions, a la Pokemon, one SNK and one Capcom. This one is a lot of fun, because the card battling is simple, and very easy to understand, but it's also a lot of fun... that said, the game can be a grindfest as you battle the same opponents in order to get good cards so that you can face off against the strongest enemies.

 Overall, personally, this selection of games didn't appeal to me as much as the ones in the previous Selection. It's not a bad set of games perse, but there's not much here I'd like revisiting.

 5.0 

Game #1335: Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury

 Cat Mario goes super saiyan.

 Often regarded as one of the best games on the WII-U, it finally made the jump to the Switch in the form of Super Mario 3D World + Bowser's Fury, including the base game as well as a bonus new mini-game.

 3D World is basically an isometrical 3D Mario game, much like 3D Land on the 3DS. The big new feature is that it can be played in multiplayer, with up to three other players, taking control of Luigi, Peach and Toad... and Rosalina, near the end of the bonus stages. Multiplayer is... haphazard, to put it bluntly, characters are very quick, and it's very easy to accidentally get other players off-camera, which will get them into a bubble and floated right to the player in the lead, which, y'know, is sorta annoying.

 But that's nothing, as certain stage gimmicks just don't work in multiplayer. The jump-and-platforms-move hazard has been in the series for a while now, since Mario Galaxy I believe, but it was tough enough synchronizing between two players, with four... it must be impossible. But that's not considering how bad the controls are in multiplayer. Y is used to shoot and run, classic Mario stuff, but it's also used to grab items... and players. How many times, while try to shoot fireballs or boomerangs at an enemy did I accidentally grab my partner and throw them into a bottomless pit or an enemy? This also happened whenever I wanted to run and they were close by. Having the grab function tied to the run/shoot button is ridiculous, particularly considering how many buttons go unused.

 Thankfully, the game is fun, it's really fun. It's not the best Mario ever, but exploring the overworld is cute, and you can find goodies such as one ups off the beaten way. The power up selection is very strong too, featuring the Fireball, the Tanooki suit, the Boomerang, the Super Giant Mushroom, and, new to the series... the Cat power up! It gives Mario all sorts of fantastic new abilities, such as climbing walls and diving attacks that give you new mobility options. Heck, base Mario has all sorts of unnecessary moves, such as a dive and a roll that add a lot of charm and fun to the game.

 Besides the poorly implemented multiplayer, the only other big issue I had with the game is that unlocking the bonus worlds requires 100% game completion, and this doesn't end with you collecting all hidden coins in every level, it also means touching the top of the flagpole, for whatever reason. And considering this is a re-release, I would've liked Rosalina to be unlocked from the getgo, since you play 80% of the game without her.

 I've seen Bowser's Fury receive a lot of praise... I didn't care too much about it. It brings back pretty much every mechanic from 3D World, but now with a 3rd Person camera, taking place on a small sandbox. You have to collection Cat Shines in order to stop Big Bowser, who 'wakes up' every few minutes, and then you either have to fight him or collect a Cat Shine to make him go away. As a bonus it's OK, but by itself... forgettable.

 They also added a 2-Player mode... which is pretty much worthless, the second player gets to play as Bowser Jr, who can't die but also can't do half the things Mario can do, instead being able only to fly around and hit enemies. The camera doesn't even follow him, that's how much of an afterthought this 2-Player mode was.

 I might get in hot water for saying this... but I didn't feel that this game was anything special. It's a very good Mario game, it is, and trust me, I've just gotten off New Super Mario Bros. 2, so I know what a mediocre Mario game is, but this one just wasn't anything groundbreaking. And if they are gonna do multiplayer, they should try to do it right.

 8.0

Game #1334: Valis - The Fantasm Soldier Collection II

 I'm guessing the next one is gonna be numbered X?

 

 Valis: The Fantasm Soldier Collection II is yet another mediocre collection of mediocre games, these one made up of games that should've been on the cart. So, what is actually here? The final game, Valis 4, the cutesy spinoff, Syd of Valis and... the MSX and Genesis version of the first game, y'know, alternate version of the game feature on the first volume? There's no logical reason these games weren't feature in the previous cart besides greed, and to top it all off, it's missing Super Valis, the SNES version of Valis 4. Guess they are gonna release that one by itself since they clearly love money. And the translation is spotty at best, there are grammatical errors, and it's easy to see that the subtitles can't possibly much the amount of words characters spew, heck, in Syd of Valis, one line of text clearly says "12", but the subtitles make no mention of that number.

 Enough prattling about the collection itself, onto the games:

 Valis 4: The next step from Valis 3, this one features new trio of playable characters, each one has a unique skill that will be necessary to proceed, one is immune to environmental traps(Spikes, slides), one can double jump and one can slide.

 Much like before, the enemy placement is super cheap and the platforming and sliding is sometimes obnoxiously precise, all of this is mitigated with the Rewind and Save Anywhere features, making it the most enjoyable game in the cart. I thought it was a decent way to end a fairly unspectacular series of games.

 Syd of Valis: It's cutesy, so you might think it's easier, but nope, it's not. Enemy placement is as cheap as always, and the screen only scrolls when Yuko is dangerously close to the edge of the screen making avoiding some enemies nigh impossible. To add to all this, the game is a bit slippery, particularly with some armors.

 Oh, yeah, while level design is as lame as always, this game has a bunch of really cool ideas, such as equipment. As you go through the game you earn different weapon projectiles and different armors(That actually change how Yuko looks!), and you can swap between them at any time. This was such a cool feature, shame it never made it out of this game!

 Later bosses can be downright brutal... unless you learn how easily you can cheese them with the homing shot. 

 Valis(Genesis): While it has the same cutscenes as Valis 1, the levels are quite different. It was relatively enjoyable, shame it's so slow paced. Yuko runs very slowly which makes the game drag on a bit, but it's not half bad.

 Valis(MSX): The very first version of Valis.... this one is a mess. It's almost unplayable, the screen scrolling is incredibly choppy and the gameplay is very sloppy, you get creamed in seconds flat while bouncing all over the maze-like stages. As bad as it is, I'm happy that it's here, as a piece of history.

 Definitely not as good as the first collection, not that that means much.

 5.0

Game #1333: New Super Mario Bros. 2

 New is a bit of a strong word.... 

 So, what's new in New Super Mario Bros. 2? I dunno. New Super Mario Bros. on the DS was Mario's return to 2-D platforming, using new 3-D graphics but playing in 2-D. It felt new. Then New Super Mario Bros. Wii did the same thing, but added new power ups, and Yoshis, and, best of all, multiplayer. This one.... Er...

 Multiplayer? Gone, it is a handheld aftear all, propeller helmet? Gone. At leas the Mini and Giant mushrooms are back, I guess. The only new Power up is the Gold Fireflower which makes your fireballs explode on impact and give you coins on enemy kills. It only lasts for a single stage. There's also a new emphasis on collecting coins because.... I don't know, just because. There's a new coin rush mode too, and the game keeps a tally of your collected coins, and they all amount to.... a new Press Start splash screen. Yeah....

 I know that it's been tradition since Mario World, but I hated the secret exits, I found them to be too well hidden, like 'get a guide' kind of hidden most of the time. In this day and age, I found it annoying instead of fun. They also kept the whole "can only save after beating a castle or a tower' gimmick which is just baffling. This is a handheld game, let me save anywhere on the world map, for crying out loud. This limitation doesn't add challenge, it's just annoying.

 It's just Mario. That's all this game is, a perfectly acceptable 2-D Mario game. It doesn't do anything new, but there's nothing particularly bad about it, it's just.... Mario.

6.0

Game #1332: Wolfenstein 2 - The New Colossus

 Weird science.

 The Wolfenstein remake was pretty darn good, so of course a sequel was coming, enter Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus.

 It picks up immediately after the previous game, with Blascovitch on his death bed... only to be rescued at the last minute, albeit left badly crippled, but don't worry, he gets better. The story follows the two timelines gimmick from the previous game, and you can pick whichever timeline you preferred, which nets you a different NPC ally as well as a unique weapon on each.

 The story, boy, the story is such a weird mess. How can you make a game about killing nazis overly woke? No, really, they... it's a mess. Now William, suddenly, is the son of a racist that beat him up for kissing a black girl even though... he married a jewish woman. And y'know, William's past is bleak, really bleak, but his father is such obvious pandering to the people that think they are fighting racism that it took me off the game. He even uses the N word. And then there are lines in which William has to say "WHITE" nazies. I mean... of course they are and were white? Why? Because pandering. You've got this badass black woman leader but she's so incredibly unlikeable, she smokes next to her baby and has the most abrasive personality they could get her. To the point that you feel glad when another character grabs her by the throat, she even calls another character 'white boy', dismissively, a few times. Insufferable. They also added Engel's daughter, and she's fat, and much like William, she's also victim to her mother's upbringing, but this parallel goes absolutely nowhere. The character herself is a bit of a walking fat joke, which is off-putting since they went after a woke tone for the plot.

 And leaving that aside, since not everyone will cringe from the overtly woke tone, then there's how the game wants you to take the plot seriously... but then has all these idiotic jokes in it. Engel's daughter, Sigrun's plight is sometimes portrayed in a way that it seems as if they want you to laugh at her? Which is incredible, since she gets the most interesting character arc, growing out of the nazi mindset she was forced into. Then there's William's wife, who is now pregnant, going into bullet-fights while pregnant. How does that make any sense? She is a liability. She is carrying children in her womb. It makes absolutely no sense. Then there's another character who happens to be dropping acid all the time, and I'm supposed to believe he survives every time he makes it out of the base? Don't even let me get started on the cringe party scene. While the previous entry also had a bit of humor that didn't gel very well with the new serious tone.... it wasn't THIS bad. And the subtitles disappear or go out of sync every now and then, so you can't even trust those.

 And then there's the gameplay.... I'll get the best thing about it out of the way first, the new dual wielding mechanic is glorious. You can have Will carry any weapon on either hand, so you can go guns akimbo in all sorts of ways, like having a shotgun on the left hand and the assault rifle on the right one. It's amazing, and it's such a small little addition, but it works so well. That said... the game is brutal. It doesn't even feel fair, throughout the first 2/3rds of the game your total life points cap at 50 instead of 100, you get murdered in SECONDS and the HP and Armor upgrades from the first game are nowhere to be seen, compounding with this is how worthless the damage indicator is, quite a few times you'll only realize you are taking damage if you notice the HP going down.

 Most of the game I was left frustrated than anything else, fighting spongy enemies that can take what feels way more punishment that I could deal. It was not a fun experience. And the story was such a mess too... I don't know what happened with this one, considering the previous games were so great.

 4.0

Game #1331: Wolfenstein New Order - Wolfenstein The Old Blood

 Double the nazis

 Much like Doom, another classic first person shooter got remade with a more modern taste in mind, and bundled in this two-pack are the first two remakes: Wolfenstein: The New Order and Wolfenstein: The Old Blood.

 The New Order is REALLY good. The game is very cinematic, since in-between shootouts you get quite a few cutscenes, and this game is very gritty and edgy... but also 90s dumb, which is why the main protagonist, BJ Blazcowicz kept all his HUGE muscles after spending 14 months as a vegetable. And the plot and the characters are very weird mix of 90s humor, like a character with a dented head that can only say Max Hass, as well as gratuitous sex scenes, but mixed with a very, very bleak setting in which Germany won the second world war. I gotta say, I didn't expect to, but I really fell in love with the supporting cast. Your allies are a likeable bunch, and the villains are disgusting and deadly, so watching them fall is all the sweeter.

 Gameplay is very fast-paced, albeit not as much as Doom. You can peak behind cover while holding down L1, and stealth is a valid approach to various encounters. The weaponry feels very powerful, so watching enemies explode into pools of blood is very satisfying. Fulfilling certain challenges("KIll X amount of enemies while peeking under cover", "Stealth Kill X amount of commanders") grants you permanent buffs, which is a great way to encourage you to try different stuff and reward you for it.

 The Old Blood does away with most of cinematic elements, most but not all, and has more emphasis on the shooting. It plays basically the same, but stealth is more necessary than before, for certain sections at least, but you also get new weapons to slaughter your enemies with. It's a bit harder than before, some enemy waves can feel endless, and the final boss is very cheap, but it's still a good game, even if not as memorable as the original.

 Wolfenstein is another knockout for Bethesda, no doubt about it. Both games are REALLY good, having very satisfying gameplay, and in the case of the first one, a very interesting plot too. It's so good I'm playing The New Colossus right now!

 8.5

Game #1330: Darksiders III

 The Dark Souls of Darksiders.

 Just what everybody wanted, another prequel! But I don't mind, really, I want every Horseman to get their own game, and Fury gets her due in Darksiders III, if only they released quicker then having four prequels wouldn't feel so bad.

 Darksiders always borrow their formula from other games, and in this case it's Dark Souls. I hate the souls games, but this one is fine, I had some trouble in a few sections but I never dipped below Normal on the difficulty settings. That said, it's got everything but the parry, deadly enemies, souls that can be used to improve your stats and are dropped upon death, etc.

 While the new emphasis on combat was controversial, to say the least... I actually liked it. I loved fighting enemies, since your attacks feel so crunchy. I much prefer this to the more flowy combat of the previous two games, plus, the level cap is so high, combat always feels purposeful.

 There are still some puzzle elements here and there, but it's nothing like the previous games, and platforming is nowhere near as prevalent as it used to be. Not to say there's any of it, as all four weapons come with their own traversal additions to Fury's abilities: Flame comes with a triple jump and the ability to walk on lava, Stone comes with the ability to walk while below water, break rocks and magnetically attach to walls, Water comes with the ability to freeze water, and lets you stand on water, as well as freeze certain objects and wall jumping, while Air allows Fury to glide and... yeah, that's all it gets you.

 It's very Metroidvania in design, and it can also be a bit... vague on how to proceed, so the game expects you to back track and re-explore areas once you obtained a new weapon. I didn't mind, I love exploration, but there's that. Some bits are a bit... poorly designed, if anything. There's an area in which you must avoid a Tornado, but you might think you are doing something wrong since the timing is so precise and very little room for error when it comes to outrunning it. And not too long after that, the same tornado will push a block you need to place upon a switch, turns out you can actually freeze it with the Water weapon. There's not a single hint in the entire game that you can actually freeze the block in place, heck, hitting it with the weapon doesn't coat it in blue, unlike very other single object you can freeze, which is just baffling. Oh, and there were a few places in which the third jump wasn't as high as I needed it, so it felt as if I had to exploit environmental oversights, which was just weird.

 Leaving aside those quirks, what kills this game is how broken it is. Many times the game just gives up loading parts of the environment, so your best bet is to quit the game entirely, thankfully, it saves upon exiting, but man if it isn't annoying. It's probably some sort of memory leak issue, because the game crashed quite a few times. And that's not to mention all the frame stuttering and micro-freezes it suffers from, and these CAN get in the way of combat, heck, most of the time you swap weapons it freezes for a second or so as it loads the new weapon. Oh, and the loading times are kinda lengthy, which is a kick in the pants when the point of the game is being hard, and sometimes they feel a bit too frequent.

 The core of the game is fun, it's really fun, up to par with the previous two games I'd say, but in a very different way since it's quite different from both of them, sadly, the technical issues really get in the way of it reaching its full potential. Just another reminder of how terrible modern games have become.... and this game isn't even all that new, yet exhibits all the same technical issues new games do. Still, when the game works, it's really fun.

 6.5

Game #1329: The Dark Pictures Anthology - The Devil in Me

  Devil's in the detail... and the bugs.

 Here it is, the Season Finale, The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil In Me. I'd like to say that it was a fun ride... but it wasn't, it's been plagued with all sorts of issues and bugs since the very first game, and I can't say that the games only got better, because they didn't. The Dark Pictures Anthology was a brilliant concept, having stand-alone interactive horror movies sounded too good to be true, and it was. And now it's over.... for now.

 I'll give The Devil in Me this, it's a lot less buggy than the previous game. Midway through out playthrough the Inventory icons went away, we went through a soft-lock and a hard-crash and had to deal with heads that would bug-out trying to look behind them.... but at least every texture loaded on every scene. It's a mess, but at least it's not as bad as House of Ashes.

 The plot is probably the most interesting out of every game in the series, using the rumors and tall stories behind Holmes, America's first serial killer as the theme. And it uses it to great effect, I felt. The new cast of characters was alright, definitely more likeable that the ones in House of Ashes, but not as endearingly cheesy as the ones from The Quarry. It also felt like their most cinematic game yet, using some rather interesting camera angles and scene cuts. It felt like a step above the games that came before it.

 For this game, a lot of hoopla has been made about new actions, such as jumping and crawling. They are just glorified doors. No, really. You'll come across gaps, and you'll have to press X, only that instead of opening a door the character will jump. Or crawl, if needed. You'll climb ladders too. Still, it adds more variety to how you move about, but in essence, nothing has changed in this regard. There are more puzzles than ever before, so all the collectibles you can find around? You'd better start reading them. There's a new Inventory system, but this only means that you can now press a button every now and then to do something, it feels very context-sensitive all in all.

 For as harsh as I was at first... this one was probably one of the better entries in the series, if not the best, but it's not quite as good as what they did with The Quarry or even Until Dawn, and I get it, smaller budget, but c'mon, these games all run on the same premise and engine, at least they can make sure that the games are less buggy at release. Still, if this game was the new standard for the rest of the series... I'd think they'd be OK.

 5.5

Game #1328: The Legend of Heroes - Trails from Zero

 From Zero to Hero.

 'The best modern JRPGs' is but one of the many ways I've seen people call this series, but being so massive, it always felt as if it was impossible to just get into it. So one day I opened up wikipedia, figured out which games I could access and finally took the plunge, The Legend of Heroes: Trails from Zero is not the first game in the series, but it's my first one, and lemme tell you, I liked it.

 First of all, the plot is very... cozy. The entire game takes place in the city of Crossbell and its vicinity, and there are no world-shattering menaces to deal with, it's only Crossbell in danger. If there's a thing I hate about modern JRPGs is how small-potatoes the scale feels, I much prefer the SNES and PS1 world-trotting epics instead of this new trend of small-scale conflicts, but in THIS particular case... I'll take it. It's fine, and the characters are quite endearing. Since you play as a newly form sub-division of the police, seeing the townspeople growing to depend on your team of characters was well done too.

 ...it's not perfect though. If there's a thing I hate it's kids characters, and quite late in the game a young girl is introduced, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, every single character starts simping for her. How now they have something worth fighting for, how her smile just revitalizes them, how precious she is... it's so stupid. Honestly, this character is the single sour point when it came to the story, heck, right after she is introduced you get an 'intermission' chapter focusing on her, and it was such a bore, such a pace-killer.... I simply don't get it, she adds NOTHING to the game except making the script dumber.

 The combat system is fine, it's a bit strategic since you have to be mindful of positioning on the battlefield as well as to how you set up your Orbs in order to gain access to the passive abilities and the spells that you want. Besides HP and MP, there's a third gauge that governs a sub-set of unique special moves for each character, which is a neat idea. That said... the flow of the battles is very slow, the animations are very slow as well, thankfully the Switch version has a toggleable Turbo mode, and I spent 85% of my playthrough in Turbo mode.

 The last thing I'd like mentioning is that the game takes quite seriously the "cop division sent out to help the city' bit, so there's a bunch of non-standard sidequests, some only involve talking with NPCs and zero battling, which was quite interesting.

 Trails from Zero is a winner, it's not the type of JRPG I like best, but it's pretty darn great at what it does. I set out to buy the sequel immediately.... which is already out of stock in most places, jesus!

8.0

Game #1327: Marvel Nemesis - Rise of the Imperfects

Imperfect is one way of putting it...

 A few years ago I played the DS version of Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects, and lemme tell you, it was bad. But fear not, as this version is almost as bad, almost.

 The game has a very bleak take on the Marvel universe, game is super dark, and even then, the character models look glossy. The color palette is made up almost entirely out of greens and blacks, and the game is made up of 9 Marvel characters and 9 'Imperfects', terrible, original characters that are more forgettable than 80s villains such as Kangaroo.

 While it's a fighting game, there is a Story Mode... with barely any story to it. I gave up on it 'cause it was just unfair and it was so boring. What made it unfair was how the CPU can simply start blocking through your single attack combo, while you can't. But even if it wasn't so unfair, this is one of the sloppiest fighting games I've ever played. It's an arena-styled fighter, you get this pathetic square-button attack combo, but can access a secondary combo by holding down R1. It's downright tepid. That said, the ragdoll physics are hilarious, and can lead to taking tons of undeserved damage. Leaving aside how lackluster the combat system is, moving around feels slippery... it's not fun to play.

 Rise of the Imperfects is an embarrassment. Marvel/Disney should never let anyone but Capcom touch their licenses when it comes to fighting games. Well, the guys that made the X-Men fighting games get a pass too, but not EA.

 2.0

Game #1326: The Dark Pictures Anthology - House of Ashes

  Dare you enter.... the House of Bugs?

 Look, the Dark Pictures Anthology has always been quite buggy, but usually, pretty enjoyable. But how is it that The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes is buggier than any game in the series before it? How is it that using the same engine it gets worse?

 First of all, they removed the 'Faster Walk" function, which is already a step backward, but instead we get the "Walk even more slowly with a flashlight" function. If the flashlight is a Lighter it's even worse because it barely illuminates anything.  Oh, and the tedium of climbing a set of stairs? Jesus, why is it SO much slower?

 To add to this, this time around, the cast of characters is made up of five soldiers, and I'm not American, so I find the set-up boring and hard to care for any of the characters. At least the monsters are real in this one, so that's a plus, and I felt they were a very original take on vampires. The story does have a few decent moments, and Salim is the standout character, but otherwise? I didn't much care about these guys.

 It's a shame the game is so buggy. I didn't get through a single chapter in which at least one character wasn't missing at least one texture. There were floating objects everywhere, invisible guns during cutscenes, invisible objects altogether, at least one crash.... Any tension, any horror the game could've built was lost thanks to all these glaring issues. These games have always had their share of bugs, but this one takes the cake. Oh, and the Butterfly Effect menu that tracks decisions and consequences is all messed up, it's never been this poorly recorded before. How did they make the game worse? They've been using the same formula since Until Dawn.

 House of Ashes is a mess, certainly the worst of the bunch so far, and it sucks, 'cause finally the threats are a 100% real. The fact that I personally don't care about the military setup didn't help either.

 4.0

Game #1325: Undertale

 Kill 'em all. Or not.

 Undertale was kind of a hit, and that's an understatement, as it was one of the games that put the indie scene front and center. It's sort of an RPG, but not really.

 I liked it. The characters were endearing and combat was quite innovative, mixing turn based battles with bullet hell curtains, and it worked. The plot does some fun stuff with the 4th wall, which I really enjoyed, and talking down monsters always produced interesting results.

 The genocide route, in which you try to kill everyone is sort of a bore though. I get it, I get it, the encounter rate drops so hard to simulate you actually searching for every last monster, but boy, does it drag. The difficulty also increases quite a lot, as nothing in the game can prepare you to fight the heroes of that route. 

 Undertale is everything you've heard it is, no surprise there.

 8.0

Game #1324: Samurai Warriors - Spirit of Sanada

 AKA Samurai Warriors 4-IV

 Gotta hand it to Koei-Tecmo, as they managed to somehow squeeze another entry in Samurai Warriors 4, as they developed Samurai Warriors: Spirit of Sanada just in time to celebrate some anniversary involving Nobushige/Yukimura Sanada.

 The most interesting part about this entry is that you can seen how it's sort of a stepping stone before Samurai Warriors 5, as they did away with the silly per-character scenarios, instead opting to go with the Dynasty Warriors 7 way of having a more faithful retelling of the story, however, instead of getting to choose a clan or something... you only get to experience the Sanada bloodline's story. They also introduced aging... to a very select few characters, which is sorta silly considering Yukimura meets Kunoichi when he is a child, and he ends up looking WAY older than her since she only gets a single character model. To be fair, a few chapters include some Sanada-less battles you can follow, and replaying any mission allows you to use any character, so being limited to the Sanadas and whoever happen to be their allies at the time is not as limiting as it sounds.

 The rest of the game is your standard Warriors fare, which is fine by me as I adore this 1 vs 1000 style of game. A few chapters are a bit slow-paced, and only have you talking with NPCs, going from point A or B, which works to tell a story.... but feels a bit boring, since I play Warriors game to bash skulls in the first place.

 Being restricted to the Sanada's point of view feels a bit lazy, particularly considering how well they've done the 'faithful' approaches in Dynasty Warriors, but knowing how they'd go about Samurai Warriors 5, it makes sense, as this was probably some sort of experiment. And it worked. The game is pretty fun, but I guess by now people were a bit tired of the world of SW 4.

 8.0

Game #1323: The Legend of Tian Ding

  Every culture has their own Robin Hood.

 My quest to play Chinese-developed games continues with The Legend of Tian Ding, a game based around a Taiwanese Robin Hood-esque type character.

 Being based around a thief you'd expect the game to be a stealth game, but thankfully it ain't. It's a 2.5-D sidescrolling platforming beat'em up type of game. Divided into various chapters, Tian Ding must sneak into different areas, beat policemen and thugs while avoiding traps. You can jump and propel yourself from hooks and what not, but when it comes to fighting you can even steal weapons from your enemies.

 It's fast and fun, even if a bit too simplistic for my taste. I quite enjoyed the game all things considered, I needn't think too much, just try to stylishly beat enemies while using Tian's special abilities... or their own weapons.

 7.0

Game #1322: Breakers Collection

  More than a Street Fighter Clone II... I think.

 Lemme tell you about a couple of my favorite fighting games of all time, conveniently repackaged in Breakers Collection, a compilation of both Breakers and Breakers Revenge.

 In a few words, it's a Street Fighter II clone but with SNK's flair. You get four attack buttons instead of 6, while you also get 8 characters based on very generic stereotypes. You've got a Japanese martial artist that can throw fireballs, his Chinese rival, and Indian wrestler and even a Pharaoh that can stretch his limbs much like Dhalsim. Breakers Revenge adds a 9th character, a fun Ninja named Saizo.

 For all intents and purposes, Revenge makes the original obsolete, as it includes every character, move and background stage from the original plus the new character, Saizo.

 What makes these games good is just how much fun they are to play, the gameplay is fairly simple, but very solid, creating your own combos is fairly straight-forward, but the combat feels nice. Landing attacks feels weighty and the physics are satisfying. It's also fairly colorful, and the sprites are pretty nice.

 That said, the overall package is a bit... barebones. There's a bit of art to unlock, an online mode, a training mode.... and not much more, not even in the way of options. That said, both games are a ton of fun, so I can overlook it.

 8.5

Game #1321: Mario & Luigi - Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions

 The adventures of Mario and the green Mario. 

 Good news, I think, since Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions is practically identical to the GBA original in gameplay and story, so I'll write mostly about the differences between the original and this remake.

 For starters, the game sports a completely new look, which is probably gonna be quite a divisive element of the game. On one hand, the animation is undeniably smoother in this one, however... the artstyle is completely different. The original was very bright and colorful, and the character sprites had these thick black outlines that made characters look like caricatures, it was a gorgeous game. These sprites are more tame in comparison, they don't have outlines, and they went for a more natural looking lighting, which does look more realistic... but why would you want Mario to feel realistic? So yeah, it's a give and take. Smoother animation, for sure, but it doesn't look as pretty. That said, I'm sure some people might prefer this art-style.

 The game added a ton of shortcuts to make the experience easier. Cycling through environmental actions, such as the high jump or the spinning jump, is done with L and R, or by using the touchscreen, which is very easy and comfortable, you don't even need to bother with formations. The X button now makes both brothers jump at the same time, so you can have another environmental action selected without losing the ability to jump. You can also use the bottom-screen as a map, which is quite convenient. When using Special Moves, now the game shows you the order of the inputs on the bottom screen, which is very useful.

 The game felt way, way easier than before. There are a ton of Heal Blocks near save spots that completely restore both brothers' HP and BP, for free! Apparently, the Japanese version of the game had them and they were removed for the international version. That said... I didn't die once in the entire game... up until I reached the second form of the final boss. It felt way harder and more brutal, to the point that... maybe because I was tired, I'm not sure, but the game offered me a new "Easy Mode"... and I took it, why not? I already finished the original. But yeah, I feel as if the entire game is way easier, but the final boss way harder.

 On another note, there were two times in which I was absolutely stumped and had to resort to a guide to check where I needed to go.

 The entirely new addition is Bowser's Minion, a campaign that unlocks pretty early into the game. It's a fully fledged strategy-sort-of mini-game in which you make an 8-member team comprised of Goombas, Bobombs, Shyguys, Parakoopas and the such and have to face off against other enemies following a rock-paper-scissors type of weaknesses and strengths. I didn't care for it, but it's got about 8 worlds.

 Overall? I liked revisiting Superstar Saga, very little has changed... and very little needed to change considering the game was fantastic from the get go. If anything, the combat is so involved that I was a bit tired of it by the end, but I still had fun.

 8.0

Game #1320: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets(Playstation 2)

 This chamber can keep a secret.

 Now this one I actually owned when I was younger, but I'm sure I never got to finish it. I remember when Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets released on PS2 it received a ton of good reviews and it was being compared to Zelda, so I took the plunge and bought the game, and I'm pretty sure I liked it quite a bit, so I'm not too sure as too why I never got to finish it.

 Anyways, this game actually came out before the Philosopher's Stone on PS2... and it shows. The camera is a bit janky and the game as a whole feels a bit rough. Flying is super annoying, because every time you move him, the game jerks him towards the center of the screen, which makes it feel as if Quirrel is casting something to make Harry fall from his broom... except that this is the sequel and professor Quirrel is long gone.

 And I thought ghosts were annoying in the Philosopher's Stone? You can't defeat ghosts in the game, which is very annoying, and if they touch you, you lose all-flavored beans(currency)! Midway through you get Expeliarmus, which is actually a deflect spell, and afterwards the game starts throwing Gargoyles your way, which must be fought by reflecting their fireballs.... over and over again. They take forever!  And that's a thing I felt with this game... many times, it felt quite tedious. The puzzles are alright, but going through them feels like a slog at times.

 Compounding to that... is the stealth. Every time you go out at night you need to be stealthy, and it's SO annoying. Prefects can hear you from far away if you do anything other than slowly crawl, which is so boring. And they always have the SAME boring patterns that force you to wait. You do know that Harry has an invisibility cape, don't you? And if they catch you, you lose house points, which hurts you right in you ego. The game is easily at its best when you are exploring Hogwarts with your spells to obtain Trading cards, and every ten of them you get a small permanent health boost. And exploring Hogwarts works, it really does. The puzzles are very simple, but just using your spells and finding chests feels quite magical, for lack of a better word. Exploration is top notch, everything else, from combat to stealth just feels rough and half-baked.

 One big point of criticism that this version(PS2) of the game received are loading times. And I'm not gonna lie, when it came to my memories of the game... the loading times weren't something I remembered. Well.... they are not hideous, but, they are quite frequent. Sometimes after going into the menu to swap spells may trigger a half-second long loading screen, but once again, very brief. Loading times when exploring Hogwarts? Not too long, but frequent. Totally manageable.

 The game looks exactly like Philosopher's Stone, which means it's a bit of Sims and a bit of the movie take on the franchise, and it's quite fitting for this part of the Harry Potter saga. That said... they completely removed Dobby from the plot! Harsh! Harry and Ron don't even get Gilderoy Lockhart to help them reach the chamber.... It's quite surprising, but among all the versions of CoS I've played... this one does the worst when it comes to adapting the plot of either book or movie, much unlike HP 1, in which the home console version had the best adaptation of the plot.

 Chamber of Secrets is alright, but it hasn't aged very well, honestly, you're better off playing Philosopher's Stone, which is this game but polished, and, if you want to follow the plot in videogame form, play the PS1 take of Chamber of Secrets.

 5.0