Game #1272: Conan

 Say what you will, Conan wears a skirt.

 So, yeah, another PS3 hack and slash game I missed back in the day, here we have Conan. In a few words, it's another take on the God of War formula, but with more boobs. Funny story, this one has been really hard to find, either it wasn't complete in box or it was way too expensive... a few weeks ago I found it, complete in box, for dirt cheap.

 Conan, a hack and slash action game, wears its God of War inspiration quite close to its heart. Weak and strong attacks, alongside a grab button, insane amounts of QTEs(Even to open doors), red orbs for Experience points, Green Orbs for Health and Blue orbs for magic. And to keep things similar, the right analog stick is used to dodge. Remember how Kratos had a sex-minigame per game? Well, Conan can rescue topless women who'll reward him with red orbs, the cringiest one-liners("Where are my clothes?", "CRUSH ME WITH YOUR LOVE") and a 'sexy' get up animation that looks very dumb. Conan the Barbarian is known for being a bit mysoginistic(Which makes sense considering it's a barbaric world), but this adds nothing to the game and looks dumb, they could've added some topless enemies or NPCs walking around and it would've had the same effect but not look as dumb.

 It's not entirely devoid of any originality, for instance, Conan has three movesets: One handed Sword(With or without shield), Two handed Sword and Two Swords, and every style has its own strengths and weaknesses. It's a pretty neat idea, however, you always start each level with a single sword, and you can't use the other styles until you find another weapon from a fallen enemy, which can be a bit annoying if, like me, you tended to ignore the one-handed style. There's another wrinkle to combat, the Song of Death, by landing hits and not getting hit you'll fill a yellow bar, once full you gain extra power and speed for a while, and this too is affected by your weapons, dual blades will fill it very quickly due to its swift combos, while using a two-handed blade will mean you likely won't trigger it.

 The issue with combat is that it can be sorta clunky. It's not too bad, and it works decently, however, whenever you initiate an attack, Conan will slide next to the closest enemy you are aiming towards, and this is an issue with slower attacks because enemies will jab you out of your attack. Using the two-handed style can sometimes be a pain in the rear because of this unpredictable slide. Eventually, when handling enemies, you have to take into account, when initiating attacks, that the distance between you and your enemy is not what it actually looks like, so, maybe, you have to start attacking further away from the enemy so as not to initiate the slide. It looks silly and it's not much fun. Plus, eventually the game introduces a few enemies who'll just jump out of hitstun and attack you through your combo. It got so bad that I just started relying on the two-handed spinning sword boomerang(physics be damned) attack just to be safe.

 Mind you, it's not all bad, the game IS fun despite its flaws. When the combat works well, dodging and attacking is satisfying, plus, you can dismember your enemies which looks really cool. You can also explore around to find upgrades to your health and mana bars, as well as bonus red orbs to purchase more moves. It is a fun hack and slash, it's just flawed.

 As a God of War clone, it's also got QTE's up the wazoo, which aren't much fan when failing them restores HP to the boss. I read on TVTropes that the final boss is considered challenging... he's not, he really isn't. It may seem a bit luck based since your hitstun is kinda egregious, but you can get through it if you play it smart...and boring, spamming safe, area-clearing attacks like the aforementioned boomerang blade.

 Was Conan worth the chase? I dunno, in some ways yes, in others it wasn't. I will say that the good overweighs the bad, but it's not worth going out of your way to get this one.

 6.5