Game #1220: Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze

 They should've called this one 'Funky Edition'. 

 Donkey Kong Country Returns was pretty darn good, so naturally, a sequel had to follow, enter, Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. Instead of aping the original Country saga, which gave players a new Kong duo per entry, Tropical Freeze instead opted to expand on the original.

 The core of the game remains the same, 2-D platforming action, every stage feeling very different from the next, except maybe the flying stages, and each stage is filled with bonus stages and things to collect, some stages even have hidden exits that open up secret stages. The game is divided into 6 worlds, most worlds have 6 stages and a boss, 4 stages on world 1 and 8 on world 6, as well as three hidden stages, two that can be accessed by finding the hidden exists and one that is unlocked if you find every KONG letter on every stage of the world. While the total stage count is a bit shorter than your average Super Mario entry, stages in this game are rather lengthy and creative, so it evens out.

 The game does away with motion controls, praise the lord, but it does have another control issue... swimming stages. Turning around while swimming feels delayed and clunky, which made swimming stages feel unfair. The game is very generous with lives, by world 2 I was hoarding 80 of those, and while the game is tough, it never felt unfair... except for the swimming stages. And there's an entire world built around swimming stages. These felt like the game's lowest point. I think running out of oxygen was a complaint among players, but I don't think I ever died due to oxygen cost, but due to poor controls? I did get a lot of those.

 Basic controls and movement remains the same as Returns, but joining Diddy are Dixie and Cranky Kong. Much like Returns, and unlike the original Country series, unless you are playing in two player mode, the other Kongs are just tools for Donkey Kong, and you can only play as him, which I find disappointing, but it is what it is. Each Kong offers different abilities for DK to use. Diddy gives Donkey a small hovering ability thanks to his jetpack, Dixie twirls her pigtails offering him a hover+ a higher jump and Cranky lets DK bounce over spikes and spikey enemies. Every Kong also gives him a benefit while under water, Dixie and Diddy offer him boosts(Diddy's a bit faster) and cranky offers some offensive staff swipes. There's also a new SUPER gauge, that when full, lets you use a super move that turns every enemy into a something. Dixie turns them into yellow hearts that either restore your hit points or adds armor(Bonus hits over the 4-hit maximum), Diddy turns them into extra lives and Cranky into money. Yeah, for all intents and purposes... Dixie is the best partner in the game. Very rarely is Diddy's hovering ability better than Dixie's high floating jump, being able to reinforce your health bar is much more useful than bonus lives, which are already plentiful, or money, which is also rather plentiful. The only other way to extend your hit points is by using money to purchase one-time use extra hearts before a level starts. And Dixie's abilities even stack with that item, making her ability even better. So, in the end, Diddy feels pretty much useless, in comparison, while Cranky is situational at best. I think the better idea would've been to give Dixie just a high jump without the hoover, so that picking between her and Diddy actually made sense.

 The one thing I kinda didn't like, was that checkpoints, as welcome as they are... usually don't have Kong barrels around, so you restart without a helping Kong and must go through the rest of the stage as Donkey Kong alone. It's, in a way, rather harsh. Mind you, the entire game can be completed as Donkey Kong along, except, maybe, some of the introductory stages that slowly teach you about each Kong, so they aren't necessary per say, but still.

 This Switch port adds Funky Mode. You can only pick Funky Mode when creating a new file, so if you pick Normal Mode you can't just switch to Funky without starting a new file. Funky Mode is the Easy Mode of the game, in this mode you get 5 hearts by default instead of only two. And you can also opt to play as Funky instead of Donkey Kong. Funky Kong has all the benefits of all 3 Kongs built into him, and you don't lose them upon taking two hits of damage. He also gets infinite oxygen while underwater. If you ever thought the game was too hard, Funky Kong is the answer.

 Tropical Freeze is yet another excellent Donkey Kong entry. It's not without its flaws, but I'm really enjoying what Retro Studios is doing with the franchise.

 8.5

Game #1219: Ephemeral Fantasia

 Just make this week end! 

 Well, another one for the bucket list. I knew about Ephemeral Fantasia from a gaming magazine back in the day, and had always wanted to play it... and, well, let's just say that there's a reason Konami isn't known for their RPGs, Suikoden aside.

 The premise behind this game is actually pretty interesting, as much like their very own Shadows of Destiny before it, this game is all about a Time Travelling, a 5-day time loop in this case, and instead of it being an adventure game... it's a turn-based JRPG. You play as the mute hero Mouse, and we know just how much I like personality-less mute heroes. Each day is divided into four 6-hour blocks, although there are events that happen only at a certain time, at a certain day. Thankfully, you can hold down Triangle to fast-forward any cutscene, something you'll be doing often with certain repeated events as you loop through the week.

 So... where to start with? How about the weirdly tight schedule for events? You see, the entire world is open to you pretty much from the get-go, barring some places that may require a certain party member, you can go anywhere. But the entire island is a labyrinth, and you must slowly piece the map by being lucky enough to find map pieces. And even then, it can be hard to know where the landmark you want is. And then you have to get there in time, some events only happen a certain day at a certain time. Get there too late and you ruined the entire week. There's no LOAD option while in-game, and you can't return to the main menu, so you have to get off your butt and restart the entire console if you'd rather return to a previous save-file instead of killing yourself to re-start the loop. If you get there too early... well, run around in circles and grind, money is hard to come by.

 The game doesn't even offer you much in the way of guidance or hints, playing this game without a guide is an exercise in frustration. This would be acceptable if this was a NES RPG, the standards were lower back then, but by the time the game released... they should've known better. Even something as basic as improving a character's weapon is made annoying, since every character has a very specific blacksmith that can upgrade their weapon, and they aren't highlighted in the map, so you better remember where these stores are.

 And as interesting as the overall plot is, it's not without issues. Most of the party members you can recruit feel like they join your team completely at random. Usually on RPGs, you can tell which characters will join since they have designs that stand out. Nobody stands out in this game, most character designs are forgettable, except, maybe, Rummy, Baltoth and Mouse's friends. And then there's this very dated scenario, and I'd argue that it was dated even when the game released as I despise Japanese 'perverted sexual harasser old men' humor, like Master Roshi, in which you have to 'lend' a female party member to an old guy, KNOWING he will try to touch them, to progress through the plot. And this old guy joins your party. It's baffling how stupid the whole ordeal is,

 And if you think exploring the town is a chore, then you haven't even reached the dungeons. Every single dungeon is a maze, full of forks and roads. And with an obnoxiously high encounter rate. I don't remember the last time I played through dungeons that were THIS poorly designed. Once again, using a guide can help, but even then you might get lost. Any of the very frequent random encounters may throw you off your route.

 And it's not just the labyrinthic design, as some have other issues. For instance, there's this very lengthy maze that you must traverse as Mouse alone, and every random encounter has AT LEAST 3 enemies, sometimes UP TO 8. And I'm pretty sure Mouse can't learn AoE attacks, so you are stuck fighting what feels like endless random encounters. I almost gave up on the game here. Here I realized that without a guide, there's no way to enjoy this game. Then, a later dungeon, has a giant spiral you must go through, and it doesn't end. Coupled with the random encounters, it takes like a full hour to go up and down through it. And there's no 'quick escape' spell. There are some items, if you happen to find them, that temporarily reduce the encounter rate, but it's still not good enough. I almost gave up on the game here. 

 Eventually, I got to the very last stretch of the game. After exploring the last dungeon, and going through this extremely lengthy route only to get to an item.... I decided I was done with it. No way I was walking back all the way I came through, enduring the endless enemy encounters. Nah, the game wasn't worth it, I played 90% of the game and I hated it. And don't even let me get started on the camera. There are three camera angles: Too close to be of any use, slightly farther but still not very useful, or even more farther but over-the-top, which is the one you'll use the most. It's almost funny just how poorly designed this game is.

 A halfway decent plot just can't make such a poorly made game any tolerable. I have played games with a guide in hand before, and managed to enjoy them, heck, after going through Simon's Quest with a guide... I thought the game was fun. But the game just isn't much fun most of the time, and if this game had released 15 years before it could've been acceptable. But nah, this game has absolutely no excuse being this bad.

 2.0

Game #1218: Capcom Fighting Collection

Up for another version of Street Fighter II on Switch?

 I'm quite happy that Capcom has been doing well with their classic re-releases, because they have an incredible library of games that I'd very much like to own. Capcom Fighting Collection is their latest release, and while half of its library is made up of DarkStalkers, it has the first ever, I think, home port of Warzard/Red Earth, a game I LOVE.

 Much like with their Street Fighter Collection before, these are slightly tweakable Arcade Roms, which is disappointing. For instance, no version of DarkStalkers has the full 18 character roster, unlike the PS1, PS2 and PSP console releases. Other games, like Cyberbots, had bonus characters on their console releases which, sadly, aren't here, so no Cyber-Akuma for anyone. This also means that you get nothing besides Online Play, Arcade Ladder and a Training Mode. That said, you can play around with damage/handicap values, number of rounds, make secret characters easier to select(Not that the game tells you how it works), etc.

 Onto the games!

 Darkstalkers: Has aged pretty well, it features 10 characters, 12 counting the bosses. It was pretty fast-paced, which I didn't remember. All the characters are freaks or monsters of different kinds, which, you know, can somewhat get in the way of finding YOUR character. If you like sexy girls you are in luck, however, as the females are pretty much human-like. Bishamon can kill opponents by cutting them in half, which was pretty neat. Another thing that I found surprising was that Super moves have no freeze-frame or fanfare. Overall? I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I've always been so used to DarkStalkers 3 on PS1 that I felt previous iterations, considering every subsequent entry expands on the previous one, wouldn't be as enjoyable, but I was wrong.

 NightWarriors: Darkstalkers Revenge: Two new characters, Donovan and Hsien-Ko, plus, the bosses from DS are now playable by default. Now the Special Gauge behaves more like a Super gauge, you can stock it and what not, and use it on EX or Super moves when you wish. All the stages from the previous game return, albeit recolored, which is kinda lazy, and the default(weak punch) colors for every returning character was changed, sorta like Street Fighter Turbo did, but at least you can find their older colors. Oh, and it has the same endings for returning characters. All in all, it's Darkstalkers 1 but slightly better.

 Vampire Savior: The Lord of Vampire: 4 new characters: Baby Bonnie Hood, Q-Bee, Lillith and Jedah. The last two I love and are among my favorite fighting game characters EVER. However, it removes Donovan, Pyron and Huitzil, which is rather baffling. Very similar to the previous game, but now you fight with a double lifebar instead of having rounds, and you can use Super Stocks on DF powers, some characters having access to two different DFs, that grant them extra abilities for a short while.

 Vampire Hunter 2: Darkstalkers' Revenge: No Jedah, Q-Bee, Lillith or BBH... but Donovan, Huitzil and Pyron are back. DFs were removed. Endings are just a text scroll. In Japanese. As you can tell... I didn't really care about this one, as it's missing my favorite characters in the series.

 Vampire Savior 2: The Lord of Vampire:  Has Donovan, Pyron and Huitzil, as well as Jedah, BBH, Q-Bee and Lillith... but no Sasquatch, Rikuo or Talbain. No endings. Yeah, not much else to say about it. If I had to play VH2 or VS2 I'd go with this one, since I can play as Jedah and Lillith. I sorta miss Talbain, tho.

 Cyberbots Full Metal Madness: This one features 6 different pilots, which is basically 6 different arcade routes, as well as 4 robot lines with 3 variations each. That's a grand total of 12 characters, 16 counting the bosses. Gameplay is a bit different from the previous games, as this one has 2 attack buttons as well as a Weapon buttons for offense. One of the fun bits about this game is that enemies can lose limbs, and therefore, access to certain moves, until they pick it up again. It's an interesting game, but it's no Gundam Battle Assault. That said, this is the game from which Jin Saotome, of MvC fame, originated!

 Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo: Has 11 characters, as well as 3 secret characters, all of them brought from DarkStalkers and Street Fighter... as well as one from Cyberbots. They have been super-deformed, so as too look cutesy. It's a competitive take on Tetris. It's decent, but not my cup of tea.

 Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix: Taking the very same style, as well as a few sprites, from SPFIIT, this one is a traditional fighting game, albeit much simplified and cute-ified. Characters range from Warzard, DS, SF II, Alpha and 3. You get three atack buttons: Punch, Kick and Strong. Strong is sort of a special button, as you can use different moves by holding down a direction on the dpad, and charge them. For a ton of Super and Strong moves, the characters will do wacky staff, such as cosplay other Capcom characters(Felicia dresses up as many DS characters, as well as Megaman!) or dress up in different costumes, like Ken turning into a Cowboy or Sakura into a cheerleader. Landing attacks, or getting attacked, makes the victim drop gems that can be picked up by any combatant, and these gems power up your special moves! As cute as this game is... Dan's ending has Sakura call his moves retarded!

 Hyper Street Fighter II: The Anniversary Edition: A version of the PS2 release of SFII. You can play as any version, from any of SF II's major iterations, of every character. Arcade Route defaults you on Super Turbo opponents, however. It's... well, it's another version of Street Fighter II. Probably the most interesting one, but, another version nontheless.

 Red Earth: I have always LOVED this one, always used to download the rom on every new Computer I got. I liked it that much. It only has four playable characters.... because this is an RPG/Fighting hybrid. You take one of your four characters and battle 8 boss-opponent-monsters on 1 on 1 fights, leveling your character as you go along, thus getting new moves and increased stats.

 While most of the games in this collection are DarkStalkers, in a way, I think this is a better set of games that the one in Street Fighter Collection. Mind you, Apha and 3 are brilliant games, but eventually you can get tired of so many iterative games. This one has much more variety, which is a huge advantage, plus, the difficulty settings for these games are much more accessible, read, less CHEAP and unfair. Hyper SF II is still pretty bad about it, however, with the AI downright cheating. Regardless, I think this is a fantastic collection of games, and I hope Capcom keeps doing this with their old games. Now, even if it's just an emulator running roms, I hope Rival Schools and its sequel are next!

 8.5

Game #1217: Chocobo GP

Chocobo is one mean salesman.

 Chocobo Racing on PS1 was pretty darn decent, so I was rather hyped about Chocobo GP. The good news? It's pretty good, I'd say that it's even better than the original. As for the bad news... It's one of the greediest games Square has ever released, which is rather jarring considering this is a mascot racer of all things.

 Considering it's a third-party Switch exclusive, the game looks very pretty. Add to that a super catchy theme song and you've got quite a stunner. It also features a relatively large roster of characters to play with, including Terra, Steiner and Vivi. Remember how neat it was to be able to unlock Squall, Cloud and Aya Brea in the original? Well, if you've got money you can get Squall and Cloud again, because they are part of the insidious money-grabbing practices Square ingrained in the game.

 Y'see, there are three types of currencies: Tickets, which you can slowly earn, albeit less slowly if you patch the game, that can be used to buy some characters, vehicles and colors. Then there are Coins, which can only be earned by playing offline, so if you aren't paying Nintendo's monthly subscription you won't be playing as Squall any time soon. Lame. And then there are Crystals, that cost real money, and these is how you purchase season tickets. And yes, of course, some characters are locked behind crystals. Cloud can't even be obtained nowadays, as he was a Mythril crystal exclusive.

 Thankfully, the core game is actually pretty decent. There are two Speed types for every mode: Beginner and Master, so even if you suck at mascot racers you still stand a chance. For modes you get Online GPs, Free VS CPU/Local Players racing, Series(Basically, Grand Prixes), Time Trial and, lastly, Story Mode. Story Mode is pretty neat, reminiscent of the original's story, although it feels as if Chocobo takes a backseat to the Moogle, Atla. The story is very infantile, so it probably won't be very funny to anyone older than 10, but hey, I appreciate its inclusion. It sort of works like a tutorial as well, as it slowly explains how different power ups work and what not.... but if you've been reading the Loading Screen tips you'll probably know about them way before the Story Mode.

 The game plays pretty much like any mascot racer post Mario Kart 64, with drifting letting you charge micro-turbos to gain an edge on the competition. You can also gain mini-turbos by jump right a you leave a ramp, much like mascot racers post Mario Kart Wii. You also have to be on the lookout for Magicite Crystals, which are your power-ups. Fire Balls, Water traps, tornadoes, etc. If you are falling behind, you can even turn into Bahamut for a short while, much like Mario Kart's Bullet Bills. Originality is not this game's forte. You have three different magicite slots, if you are lucky and get more of the same spell you'll power it up, up to two times, or you can have another spell in the backburn. Lastly, there's a feather gauge that slowly fills up, once full you can spend it on your character's unique ability. Chocobo gets invulnerability and extra speed for a little while, Ifrit shoots forward a giant flame wall, Fat Chocobo becomes invisible, etc. Not every character's ability is as good as the others, but at least it's got something original going for it.

 The game features 11 basic tracks, but most of them have some sort of variation(Long, Speed, Technical) that repurposes assets to make different courses. It's a bit lacking if compared to other mascot racers, but it gets the job done, it's an acceptable amount of tracks. You can customize racers with different vehicles, that actually change how the mode looks, as well as the color of their vehicle, which is rather neat, although earning enough tickets to purchase everything will take a long, long while. Even after patching the game.

 The worst bit about Chocobo GP is that it's actually really fun to play. It's not the best mascot racer, but the driving feels solid, and while it's lacking in originality, everything it does it does relatively well. But the game could've used more tracks, and the whole microtransaction business ranges from slimy to downright nasty.

 7.0

Game #1216: Layton's Mystery Journey - Katrielle and the Millionaires' Conspiracy Deluxe Edition

 Puzzles are meant for solving, just watch the anime.

 And now, I am definitely done with the Layton series, as Layton's Mystery Journey: Katrielle and the Millionaires' Conspiracy Deluxe Edition(The title is such a handful!) pretty much condemned the Layton series'. 

 Katrielle's adventure is a bit of a soft-reboot for the series, as it takes place much later after the third Layton game, featuring his daughter as the main protagonist. The Professor and Luke are completely gone, and it's framed as a mystery... that is never addressed in the game. If you want to know what happened with Layton, well, better watch the anime. Katrielle's team is made up of herself, of course, as well as Ernest Greeves, a wet-blanket of a character that is deeply in love with her as well as a talking dog, Sherl. Who is this dog? Why can some people understand him? Once again, it's framed as a another mystery, but it's never addressed again after the introductory cutscene. It feels very unsatisfying.

 I've never much cared for Layton's gameplay, as I never cared about the riddles, it was the plot of each game that really intrigued me and kept me invested. Well... Katrielle's adventure is way more light-hearted than the ones in the previous game, and instead of having one big mystery for Kat to solve, you get 12 different cases. For case 12 every character that you met, the 'Millionaires' from the game's title, reappear, but very little that happened in previous cases is pertinent to this reunion. It's rather unfulfilling, and the low stakes of most, sans 2, cases just makes it all the lamer. 80% of the cases are very predictable, so you'll have figured them out before Katrielle herself. Although I think some might prefer this, as in previous Layton games it was pretty much impossible to figure out the solutions. I mean, hypnotic gas, need I say more? Regardless, I felt previous Layton games featured a more interesting plot, and the character were much more endearing. Kat's alright, but she feels like a mixture between Luke and Emma, while I couldn't care less about Ernest and Sherl.

 It's not all doom and gloom. I liked how you can purchase new outfits for Katrielle using in-game currency. It's a bit stereotypical, y'know, it's a girl therefore clothes, but I'm always up for character customization, so I'll take it. It's a bit lengthier than previous Layton games, and it has 180 different puzzles to solve out of the box, plus, it features just as many side-diversions as the previous iterations. Collecting useless items by exploring the backgrounds, a mini-game in which you must plan a 5-course meal for an NPC according to their tastes, one in which you must plan a route for shoppers so that they buy everything and one in which you make a route for Sherl the dog as he tries to get to the end of a maze. The game supports the touchscreen, which is really nice, but a finger is no stylus!

 The game itself is your standard Layton fare, follow a story solving puzzles as you go from place to place. You can click on objects on the background to find puzzles, hint coins or collectibles, etc etc. That said... this one is easily the easiest game in the franchise. By far. I must've used the guide 10 times or less, which is surprising as all the other Layton games owned me so hard. That said, there's a rather large amount of 'trick question' puzzles that don't always feel very... logical, and you can only come to the right answer by using hint coins and getting hints. Apparently, the 3DS release was worse in this aspect, as a lot of puzzles were replaced with other ones for this release.

 I.. I won't type this game's title again, it's just too long. Suffice to say, I get what they were going for with Mystery Journey, I do, but I don't think it worked very well. It's as charming as any other game in the series, and it looks BEAUTIFUL, but while Katrielle was alright her supporting cast just wasn't up to par. The plot just didn't do it for me, and in a series that I play for its story.... yeah, this is one Layton game I didn't like too much. I also have issues with the revelation at the end of the game.

 5.0

Game #1215: Dodgeball Academia

 Ah! Smashing kids' faces with balls, my favorite.

 There have been many Dodgeball games released, and the ones I've played have all been pretty good. But Dodgeball Academia is something else entirely, while it looks like a Dodgeball game... it's actually an RPG. XP, equipment, sidequests, it's all here baby, but instead of turn-based combat we get Dodgeball! And it's amazing.

 The game is, admittedly, a bit lacking in modes. Story Mode and Versus, that's all you get. And, disappointingly, Versus can't be played against CPUs. And it's a huge loss, because you can customize matches with special balls(Such as Fire or Ice balls, which hit with the corresponding elements, among others), special obstacles, such as CARS that you must avoid or what have you. Compounding to this is the fact the there isn't much of a post-game. You finish the game and that's it. No free battles, no nothing. And since I'm at it, the Story Mode has a rather neat variety of unique characters, but... many of them are unplayable. You gain access to six different characters throughout Story Mode, and upon finishing it you unlock another two for Versus Mode. But many cool looking characters remain unplayable, and they even get unique moves. And it's an issue 'cause the full character roster is so endearing!

 The first thing you'll notice, upon booting up the game, is how GORGEOUS it looks. Characters are made to look and animate like modern cartoons, and these sprites are laid over 3-D backgrounds. It's very colorful, and incredibly charming. The story is very silly and it's pretty much played for laughs, at some point you even have to duke it out against a cult of Cubeball believers, and you even get to use cube-shaped balls. Are they even balls at that point? The entire game is set inside the Academy, giving it a cozy feel. On every chapter you'll be visiting different parts of the Campus to deal with whatever issue arose that day. There are sidequests too, clearly designated on the mini-map by blue icons.

 Moving around the academy is very fun because you can press A to roll around, making you go faster. Just moving around feels very satisfying thanks to the rolling! The campus has various chests that you need to open, by throwing a ball at them, and they can contain healing items, equipment or items that permanently boost one of your stats, so exploration is well rewarded. The game borrows a bit from Pokemon, in that walking in front, or near, other dodgeballers(They are highlighted with a red exclamation mark, so that you can try to avoid them) will make them walk towards you and start a battle. A dodgeball battle. Your health isn't replenished from battle to battle, but you can use items or go to the Infirmary and get healed for free.

 Regardless if you are facing enemies on Story Mode or playing against another player, matches are fought 3 on 3. Although Story Mode sometimes pits you against a single, but extra strong, player, or against more than 3 opponents, however, you'll always have a 3-man team at most. You move all three characters at the same time, but you can change who is in the lead with the ZL button. 

 Battles are pretty much like dodgeball, the field is divided in two halves, one for your team and another one for the other time. You can cross the line, but you'll be forced to slowly run backwards towards your field, limiting your options, until you get back to your field. The objective is to deplete every opponents' healthbar by smashing their heads in with balls. Matches can have up to five balls on the field at once, and you can carry all of them if you want, however, hoarding balls will cause them to shine red, eventually exploding and hurting you. Plus, you can only use the FOCUS ability if all the balls aren't on your court.

 You can jump/dodge(Depending on the character), throw the balls or attempt to grab it or counterattack, depending on the character. This is one of the best things about the game, how they managed to give every character very different movesets. For instance, pressing the A button as some characters, like Otto or Ballooney, will have them attempt to catch the ball and keep it for themselves. Maya, however, will kick if you press A, acting as a counterattack. There's another character that also has a counter, but hers works by LETTING go of the button, as she charges a swing with her bat!

 Characters have different Focus abilities too. For instance, Otto will charge the Super meter as long as you hold down the X button. However, holding it down for a while as Ballooney will restore a bit of health to his entire team. Maya, instead, increases the team's attack power. Alongside this, every character has a different super shot too, usable only when the Super gauge is full. Each character has their own Super gauge, so you can stock them waiting for the right moment. For example, Otto will shoot a giant fireball, Ballooney will create a healing pool, but Maya needs to have the most balls at hand since she gets one thunder per carried ball.

 It gets even more interesting in Story Mode, since you can equip characters with two different items to better suit them for your playstyle, from simple stat boots, to stat boots depending on conditions(X% amount of health left, last player standing, health reduced to 1, etc) to Life Steal on hit among others. What's more, as your characters level up, they start getting passive upgrades. At first Otto has Fire on his charged shot, but eventually you can gain the fire effect on your basic attacks. Or even getting stronger if he is the last player standing, etc. You can change the pre-set level of characters when doing offline Versus matches too!

 One thing I'd like to mention... the game removes party members twice, and at both points their equipped items get unequipped, which drove me bonkers.

 That aside, if you couldn't tell... I loved this game. It does a LOT with very little, as the Academia isn't very large, however, every new chapter features a new wacky situation to solve. While there are few playable characters, they gave all of them different toolsets to differentiate them. It gave Flash Game vibes, in a good way, the cozy way, while also playing like a proper console game. It's honestly, fantastic, and I loved every second, so much so that I didn't avoid a single Encounter. If anything, not having offline VS CPU sucks, and having so many of the unique characters being unplayable is downright criminal considering how charming the entire cast of the game is!

 9.0

Game #1214: Hotshot Racing

 Care to go for a ride, hotshot?

 It may look like Horizon Chase Turbo, but Hotshot Racing is a very different retro-style racing game. I didn't really know what I was getting into, but eventually everything clicked... this game is very similar to Ridge Racer! And it just so happens that I love Ridge Racer.

 The game has a very simple graphic style that is made up of simple shapes and very solid, strong colors, that gives it a very striking look, almost as if it was made of voxels, but sharper. The game is very colorful, if anything, I'd say it looked like the classic Ridge Racer games, particularly the first two, before the series went emo with Rage Racer...

 ...but gameplay feels more akin to modern Ridge Racer. There's slipstreaming, by driving behind racers, as well as a lot of drifting, and both of these maneuvers fill your Boost gauge, which can hold up to four stocks of boost. The one thing I noticed is that the game feels a bit slippery, which is a bit closer to early Ridge Racer games. Still, I got used to it, and had a blast drifting around.

 One thing to get in mind is that the game is aggressively beginner unfriendly. Something that I didn't like very much was having to drive through checkpoints under a time limit, otherwise you lose and drop out. I very quickly adapted as I realized how similar it was to Ridge Racer, but my girlfriend did not, and if she fell behind she'd be stuck just watching me play. 

 On the other hand, the game does offer some rather interesting multiplayer modes, like Cops and Robbers, in which the robbers, as they lose, turn to Cops, and if all robbers are gone the cops win! Another one in which you can drop barrels behind you and a twist on Elimination races, in which if your speed drops you explode.

 The game's main mode is, of course, Grand Prix, featuring 5 Grand Prixes of 4 tracks each. Each GP can be played in three difficulty settings. Normal is very Rubber Bandy in your favor, you can make big mistakes but eventually will catch up anyways. On Hard expect to drive behind most racers throughout most of the race! As for Expert, I didn't really try it. Speaking of beginner unfriendly, you can't restart a race in GP mode, if you select Retry it's back to the very first course. That's just cruel!

 Vehicles are interesting in this game, because they are tied to different racers. There are about 10 different racers, and each one has their own four cars, each one favoring a different style, such as 'Balanced', 'Speed', 'drift', etc. Each Vehicle can be customized, aesthetically only, with different parts and paintjobs, and you unlock these by using the car itself and completing different objectives, such as drifting X amount of seconds, finishing a GP, etc. It's a really neat way of unlocking stuff, and I loved customizing the cars I loved. Oh! And each racer has their own incredibly cheesy GP ending.

 The game feels short, but I think that has to do with how fast it is. You really will zip through tracks very quickly. On another note... I didn't really mind it, because I drive in Automatic, but I found a lot of complaints around controls, as it seems having shift down and up on L/R and Accelerate/Break on ZR/ZL doesn't feel good. I wouldn't know, but I do know that you can't customize the control settings, and this was an issue when I played Ganryu 2 a few weeks ago.

 Hotshot Racing was my Ridge Racer fix of the 2022. While I've been comparing this game to RR throughout the entire entry, it was done as praise, 'cause there's no shame in playing like the best. Hotshot is a fantastic little racer, with a small but solid set of mechanics that make it a blast to take on its challenge. 

 8.0

Game #1213: SNK 40th Anniversary Collection

 Not every old game is a classic.

 Hey there! You might not know this, but I really like Arcade games and SNK, so I was somewhat interested in SNK 40th Anniversary Collection. The moment I learned that the game had Street Smart, a game I LOVED, I knew that I had to have it. Weeeeeelll.... I don't think this collection deserves half the praise it gets.

 Here's the thing... this cart has 14 games, 25 if you include the ones added through free DLC, that you can very easily get for free, and play very comfortably, so if you are gonna pay full price for this game, which is a lot considering how ridiculously expensive it's right now... this collection better have the best damn version of these games.

 So... we get Save States, accessed through the Minus menu, a Rewind feature, a ton of art and music as well as being able to change the region of a few games. Some games even include their NES ports. Oh, and you can rotate the screen to get a more accurate Arcade display.

 And those are nice, but... how come I don't get unlimited lives? These games are hard as hell and unfair as unfair gets, because these games were made to suck quarters out of people. Sure, I can correct my mistakes with the Rewind feature, but sometimes it's not good enough. Also, why do some games let me push start for infinite lives, while other games don't? Ikari Warriors is notoriously unfair and challenging, and I could somewhat enjoy it through Emulation, but here every time I lose my ten lives I have to go through the Highscore screen and then press Start+Fire if I want to continue. It's ridiculous, why can't I just pump infinite lives? I can in MAME. So thanks for nothing.

 I also find it ridiculous that they only packed 14 games in it, and the rest through DLC? And 25 games isn't all that much considering how old and archaic some of these games are. 

 On to the games....

Street Smart: One of the two reasons I wanted to buy this collections, it's a pseudo fighting game, which can be played co-op, in which you fight different opponents, collecting women along the way. In two player, the one who got the most 'wins' at the end of the run. The game has aged like hot garbage, punches and kicks propel you forward, which makes movement feel sticky. I only sorta like it 'cause I feel nostalgic towards the much superior, as far as I remember, Genesis port which isn't included in this collection. In that version, the main character wore an Orange Gi and you distributed stat points per match.

 Alpha Mission: It's a shoot'em up that includes a console version. It's based on checkpoints, which sucks for someone like me, as the game feels like a very early bullet hell-type game. I didn't like it very much, but then again, I don't like shoot'em ups. The Console version looks worse, d'oh, and has no Rewind feature, but it's much easier.

 Athena: Has the console version available. This one is super curious, 'cause the concept is brilliant. You play as the bikini-clad Athena, and you can only kick your endlessly respawning enemies... but as you defeat them, you obtain new weapons, armor, shields and even items, such as winged boots. The concept is a 10/10. Sadly, the game is incredibly unfair, enemies spawn ENDLESSLY and wreck you in seconds, and the boss is even worse. You can't even continue right away, but rather, from checkpoints. And it's so hard to get the high jump to work right. The NES version is much more manageable, but still broken in certain ways. I'd LOVE for this game to get remastered, make it fair and make it fun to actually play.

 Crystalis: A NES exclusive action RPG, a la Zelda, but you actually level-up. This one is super fun, I adored it... but it's easy to get lost, particularly after the fire orb and must visit the Ice Caverns. Best played with a guide at hand, but it might be one of the best games in the collection.

 Guerilla War: An 8-directional shooter in which you play as El Che Guevara and Fidel Castro, it's pretty decent, as you gun and grenade your way through tons of enemies. You can even ride tanks! It includes the NES version, which has more levels and more weapons, albeit no Rewind feature.

 Ikari Warriors: This one is supposed to be considered a classic. I found it very mediocre. It's very similar to Guerilla War, as in it's an 8-directional shooter, you can ride guns and through grenades. However, it doesn't look as good or feel as nice to play. You can actually continue on the spot, but it's not properly explained, you must press Fire and Start at the same time. I didn't like it. The NES port is very slow-paced and boring.

 Ikari Warriors II Victory Road: While the previous game had a military-esque theme, in this one you start off fighting aliens and demons or something? It's incredibly hard, but there are more weapons, such as sword, and you have unlimited ammo. You can even get an armor. I liked it even less, there are these green floors that force you to fight the already annoying bosses again. The included NES version looks ugly and runs awfully.

 Ikari III The Rescue: In this one you trade guns for punches and kicks, and assault rifles are very scarce. It looks rather nice, but the game quickly becomes the most boring thing ever, as endlessly pummeling on enemies is very tedious. The NES version is more enjoyable, albeit more unfair. That said, even though it's much weaker hardware, there are many more different types of enemies, such as Ninja and flying jetpack gunners. It even has an underwater section!

 Iron Tank The Invasion of Normandy: Another NES exclusive, you are a tank and you are thrown into a rather large map with various zones and alternate paths you can through. It's a top-down shooter. It's pretty original, all things considered, but pretty tough and runs on Checkpoints. At least you can use the rewind feature.

 P.O.W.: One of the other reasons I wanted to own this cart. Includes the NES version. Well, what can I say? It's a very dated beat'em up. Your punches and kicks aren't very satisfying, as far as weaponry goes you only get knives and assault rifles. Some of your hits sends enemies flying away, so you have to wait for them to approach you again, etc. I have a certain nostalgic fondness towards it, that aside.... it's mediocre. The NES version is alright, but you don't get continues.

 Prehistoric Isle: A vertical shoot'em up in which you take down dinosaurs and cavemen on your ship. It's all about finding the Power up Option, and then not dying in order to power it up. Pressing the B button you can shift around the Option in 8 different directions, each direction granting you a different secondary fire AND a potential shield(Although eventually the option breaks). I didn't expect to, since I'm not very fond of this ship shoote'em ups, like it as much as I did.

 Psycho Soldier: So this is where the Idol schoolgirl interpretation of Athena comes from! At first I thought that this game was a huge stepdown from Athena, since now it's an auto-scrolling vertical shoot'em up, but slowly I grew to appreciate it. You play as Athena, and Kensou in 2P, and you must go from left to right, shooting energy waves to defeat the oncoming waves of enemies. Your objective is to amass as much Energy Balls as you can, in order to have them spin around you in a defensive formation, and, if you can manage to power up your energy, turn this defensive objects into screen-covering attacks! On the other hand, by the second half of the game I was getting a bit bored of it.

 TNKIII: The Arcade version of Iron Tank. I disliked it, the sound design is HIDEOUS, sounds like a garbled mess. I do appreciate other bits around the game, namely, how it isn't divided into stages, exactly like Iron Tank. It feels like one long adventure. It's simpler, you just pick up upgrades that never run out, and there aren't alternate routes, and I do feel the simplicity makes it slightly more enjoyable than the NES game, even though that game is, design-wise, better. Rewind doesn't work in this one... or so I thought. I quit and restarted the game and it did. What gives?

 Vanguard: Another ship shooter, but in this one it autoscrolls in different directions, and you can shoot up, down, left or right. Using the right analog stick to auto-shoot in any of those directions feels nice. I ended up likin this one a LOT.

DLC GAMES:

 Bermuda Triangle: A vertical shoot'em up, at first you fly upwards, then backwards, which I guess is an interesting concept? Energy doubles as your life bar as well as your fire power, so the more you get hit the weaker you are before dying, which I thought was interesting. As a whole, I didn't much care about it.

 Chopper I: Offers Invulnerability.... Why not the other games?? Just an average vertical shoot'em up. Didn't much care for it.

 Fantasy: I didn't expect anything out of this one, but it was fun! It's an adventure game in which the only thing you do is move, and every stage is a different adventure. First stage is landing on a pirate ship that is shooting at your flying globe, then you must defeat the pirates, then fly, vertically, 3000km and so on. I liked this one!

 Munch Mobile: It's... it's an original game, no doubt. You drive a car perpetually forward, moving an arm left or right to pick up fuel or food. Drive off-road and you lose. Meh.

 Ozma Wars: A very retro shoot'em up. Didn't care for it.

 Paddle Mania: Pong but with two human characters. You can actually hit the other player to knock'em down for a few seconds. This one was neat.

 Sasuke VS Commander: A very Retro Space Invaders, but with Ninja instead of ships.

 Time Soldiers: Another top-down 8-directional shooter like Guerilla Wars or Ikari Warriors. Fast paced, and you travel through time rescuing your companions. It's alright.

 World Wars: Yet another shooter. I'm tired of those by now.

 I can't help but feel as if these games simply aren't good enough. I know that some of these are considered classics, but they haven't aged very well. The best chance you've got at enjoying this collection is if you happen to have some nostalgic attachment to them, like I do with POW and Street Smart.

 But then again... this is supposed to be an Anniversary Collection, but where are SNK's REALLY good games? The Sengoku Trilogy that hasn't received proper ports, and trust me, Sengoku 3 NEEDS one. No Super Sidekicks? No Shock troopers? It's SNK, they make fighting games, so no Samurai Warriors? No The Last Blade? Nothing worth anything? Give me the King of Monsters, give me SpinMaster. SNK has a TON of fantastic Arcade games. The games included in this collection are not those.

 Honestly.... I'm terribly let down by this collection. I could be having more fun just emulating these games, and the game selection is made up of games that haven't aged well at all. I can only hope that SNK will release a Neo-Geo collection at some point, including their best titles.

 4.0

Game #1212: Touken Ranbu Warriors

  A lot of pretty boys were harmed when playing this game. A lot.

 Touken Ranbu Warriors is yet another Warriors crossover with a pre-existing game license, much like Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors. Touken Ranbu can be considered an Otome game, I guess, as it's a gacha game in which famous swords take the form of beautiful boys that go back in time to prevent a race of bug-things from altering history, or that's what I could gather from this game.

 Well, first things first... I didn't really care about most of the characters. There are no female characters, which I felt robbed the game of variety, albeit that's the source material's fault, and, to be honest, I didn't really like most of the character designs in this game. There's this blonde guy, who wears a hood because he is a sword based on another sword so he hides his beautiful face, and he was pretty alright since he fought with both his Katana and its sheathe, which looked cool. Oh, an the main guy, Minazuki?, the guy in blue, he was pretty cool too. The rest of the characters followed typical Japanese Shojo standards of male beauty, which I thought weren't very appealing. There are like 3-4 kid characters too, and I hated them.

 As for the narrative, as much as I like the Sengoku period, I couldn't quite get very invested in it because I didn't care about the heroes. As you play the game you can unlock small 'bond' conversations between pairs of characters, and I felt they were very silly and vapid too, so I skipped them. All of them. If you are a history buff about the Warring States period you will probably get more out of the plot, because while I know a bit about it, there are a ton of details that this game covers that eluded me.

 Gameplay is standard Warriors fare, albeit with a few new bells and whistles. As per usual, you have a basic string of attacks you can chain together by mashing the attack button, and there's a Special move button that you can press at any time during the weak attack combo to finish the combo with a special attack. There's also a super move, of course, that costs an energy bar from the Musou gauge. You battle as a team of characters on every mission, although you can't play as your chosen partner, and this game's Hyper mode, which uses a third gauge, has both your character and the one being controlled by the AI fighting together with every press of your buttons. It looks kinda neat, but it's nothing ground breaking.

 There is, however, a new mechanic, similar to what Pirate Warriors has been doing, in which holding down the R button lets you use moves assigned to the four face buttons. These attacks are the Special move enders! This way you can use them at ANY time. Don't like the Y-Y-X finisher? Press Y-Y then hold down R and use your favorite special move ender! This idea was brilliant. Another new feature, added for the ladies, is that when your character takes a strong hit... their clothes will break a bit. Pretty much everyone ends up showing their abs.

 On the other hand, the game has been streamlined a lot. Maps and skirmishes are pretty small for Warriors standards, reaching 300 kills is pretty uncommon as it is, and I think there were only one or two stages in which you could reach a 1000 kills. The thing I like about Musou games is mowing down hundreds of enemies, so I can't say I liked this. The game also has a few stupidly easy, and yet massively boring, stealth missions. Why? Who plays a Musou game to AVOID enemies? And some missions require mind-numbingly simple exploring, because if you don't and you defeat the enemy before reaching "100% analysis" you'll lose the mission. This usually means just walking towards what looks like a dead end on the mini-map to discover a hidden route. It's almost an insult to the player's intelligence. Completely unnecessary too, as this doesn't add depth to the game, only a dumb chore.

 The game's set-up is also rather weird, as the game's 18 characters are divided into 5 teams, and every "Chapter" only allows you to pick characters from that Team. To be fair, maybe if I liked the characters a bit more I would've liked how the game encouraged me to use other characters.... But I just wanted to play as my blonde pretty boy, and didn't want to play as the other derps. That said, the game is rather short, clocking in at 15 hours, which sounds like a lot, but Warriors games tend to be much, much lengthier.

 Touken Ranbu Warriors isn't bad persay, but it doesn't measure up to the other Warriors games and spin-offs. I feel as if most changes weren't very enjoyable, and the fact that I didn't like most of the playable characters did get in the way of how much I liked it.

 6.0

Game #1211: Test Drive Unlimited

 The longest test drive.

  A few years ago I played Road Trip Adventure, a game I loved, and afterwards I was on the lookout for other Adventure/Driving game hybrids. I never found such games. But, during that search, I came across Test Drive Unlimited, a game I purchased... but only got around playing now. It's not the type game I was looking for, but, having loved Burnout Paradise earlier this year, it's one I was pleasantly surprised by, as this is another Open World racing game, much like Burnout Paradise!

 This game is HUGE, as I'm pretty sure the game covers the entire Hawaii island. This is both good and bad, the good is that if you enjoy driving just for driving's sake, let's just say that there's a ridiculous amount of asphalt to drive on. On the other hand, there's no quick travel or anything like that, so going from one point to another can take over half an hour, assuming you pick the best route. Speaking of routes, I loved trying my hand at driving through hills and what not, trying to save time! If you ever get stuck or too lost, you can just press L3 and R3 and the game will teleport you back to where you were before you went off-road.

 The objective of the game is to drive around to find challenges, which can be races against other drivers, against time or trying to make it to certain checkpoints(Cameras) while driving at a certain speed. Completing challenges gives you money, which you can then spend on cars. But don't go to wild on them, as you need parking slots, and you get parking slots by buying expensive houses. I'm horrible at driving games, so at my skill level it felt as if I was making very little money, and I was getting gold on quite a few challenges. Thankfully the game gives you free cars for certain milestones, so you can focus on getting larger houses to park your freebies.

 The game is a curious mixture of Arcade-style racing as well as more Sim-like elements, although it favors the former by a mile. Driving is done exclusively with Automatic Transmission, which was an interesting design choice considering you are encouraged to take curves slowly, heck, some missions will be failed if you drive off-road too much, and, well... it seems the Xbox 360 version of the game does feature Manual Transmission, if you so choose. I hate MT, so I didn't care too much. The physics were interesting too, as colliding against 'pedestrian' vehicles will send them flying, but the physics are more subdued when hitting other drivers, during races.

 The game does feel a bit iffy at first, but as you get used to the game it slowly starts coming together. At first I thought the map was terrible, as the game is just too large and it was hard to plan your way through the streets, plus, it didn't highlight challenges. Well, it turns out you can press R2 to make the map highlight challenges you have found. Besides that you have a GPS, which you can turn off, that directs you to the closest Challenge you can try that you haven't attempted yet.

 That said... This game is pretty similar to Burnout Paradise, but I think Burnout's smaller map is better if you enjoy objective-based gameplay. This game's world is so huge that finding challenges on your own can be like finding a needle in a haystack, and it's not due to the game lacking content, it's just that the game is so HUGE that finding it without the GPS can be almost impossible. I think that both games are brilliant, but both favor a different type of approach. If you'd rather drive at your leisure, this one is a better choice, as there's simply so many places you can drive through. But if you get your dopamine fix from completing goals, Burnout Paradise is your game.

 Another difference from BP is that races are more structured and don't encourage finding your own routes, heck, most races are based around hitting checkpoints, so the routes are pretty much set in stone. A few other missions, like the ones in which you must drive through cameras at a certain speed, may allow for more freedom, but not usually.

 One last thing... the Police in this game are just too annoying. Driving quickly around them will trigger them into chasing you, and if they catch you they fine you money, money which his already hard enough to come by already. And it kinda kills you inside to drop your pace just because a cop is around, which kinda gets in the way of enjoying driving for the fun of it. And it takes FOREVER for them to stop chasing you.

 Test Drive Unlimited was a load of fun, and there's so much stuff to do. Sadly, I think I was spoiled by Burnout Paradise, as I feel that that game does what this one does much better. Regardless, TDU is available on PS2 and BP isn't, so point for TDU, and comparisons aside, this game is REALLY good, and I bet it was pretty ahead of its time back when it first released.

 8.5

Game #1210: Rumble Roses

 And I thought Dead or Alive was raunchy....

 First of all... Do not judge me! Secondly... I don't quite remember how I first got interested in playing Rumble Roses, but it doesn't really matter, as we are here now and there's no going back. Well, this is a Wrestling game, but a horny wrestling game. It's so horny that even the Instruction Booklet is full of double entendres and innuendo.

 Getting the elephant out of the room... yeah, it's one of those games. There are jiggling breasts and even jiggling butts. Girls wear the most revealing outfits, you can 'Humiliate' them and what not, and there's mud bikini wrestling. The "Gallery" lets you move the camera around their bodies as they stretch, it's very voyeuristic. Oh, and the intro movie goes on and on and on, as the girls dance and wrestle while camera pans all around them. Dead or Alive's got nothing on this one.

 The game does fall short when it comes to modes. You get Exhibition and Story, and Exhibition has basic fights or mud wrestling, which is pretty much identical to normal fights but girls wear bikinis and fight over mud, mud that looks like brown water. They do get dirty, and considering the time of its release, the effect is pretty neat. Story Mode is rather neat, because every girl of the base roster gets their own story, so that's 10 storylines, and... each of their personas(Face/Heel) get their OWN plot, so that's a total of 20 different stories to follow. And the story is fantastic because its super dumb and cheesy. The voice acting is TERRIBLE, and it has such genius plot contrivances as Reiko's mother dying during a wrestling match. Or how the Judo girl's Heel persona was born because she was tired of people expecting her not to cheat! AND THERE'S A ROBOT WOMAN FINAL BOSS! Her moveset is incredible, as she uses her robotic body to perform impossible moves.

 On the other hand... that's it, that's all there is to the game. No Tag Matches, no Elimination, no Cage Matches, no Ladder matches, no nothing. But, on the other hand, the character models are fantastic, this might be some of the best looking 3D models on the system.

 First of all, I want to praise the really good ideas. I love the concept behind Face/Heel personas, because that's very true to Wrestling. Each girl has a different look and moveset depending on their persona. That said... you can't have both personas unlocked at the same time, which is a waste. In exhibition matches you can select "vows", which are certain objectives, some grant you Face points and other Heel points, and once you veer to much into either, they get changed into that Persona. I liked the idea, and it could've worked for Story Mode, but not for Free battles, the entire roster should be playable, otherwise it's a complete waste. At least you can pick either persona for Story mode.

 The gameplay is similar to SmackDown, or how I remember it anyways. X is your basic attack that can be comboed up to five times. Square is a grab, depending on the direction you get different grabs. Circle is context sensitive, it's the Pin button. You can win matches either by Submission, by 'breaking' a body part through submission hold or by pinning down your opponent for over three seconds. You can also turn ON the option to win by Humiliating the opponent. You also have Counters, by timing R1+Strike to counter strikes or R1+Grab to counter a grab.

 There are three kinds of Super moves, all of them unique to every wrestler, which you can use by using a Super Bar, which you gain by landing strikes or grabs or by taunting. Killer Moves are performed with L1. Lethal Moves are also performed with L1, but they can be used only under certain conditions, such as a Dazed enemy, being on a corner, being behind the enemy, etc. Then there are the Humiliation moves I mentioned before. In order to use them, you must first fill a heart shaped Humiliation gauge. This is done through certain Grabs, and even some Killer or Lethal Moves, and these are the moves that, well, pretty much spread your opponents legs or stretches their torso. You know, by being a perverted. If the move also spreads your legs open, you'll also fill your own humiliation gauge. Once full, you'll get a special cutscene in which your opponent will look vulnerable as the camera pans through them. Japan. From then on, you can press L2 to use a Humiliation Move any time you want, or have available super stocks.

 Leaving aside how utterly lewd this game is, I admit that I actually liked it a lot. The core gameplay is pretty solid, so I had fun playing the game. Would I rather the game was less horny? Yeah, of course, but the game itself is fun and it plays as well as any other Wrestling game I ever played, which granted aren't many, but still. Not to say that the game doesn't have anything else going against it, as there aren't many modes, and the Face/Heel system, as appropriate and interesting as it is... having access to only 10 characters, instead of the full 20(22 counting the secret characters) is rather lame.

 7.5

Game #1209: Rogue Ops

 Solid Snake's got nothing on her.

 Well, considering I don't really enjoy Stealth games... I don't know why I bought Rogue Ops. To be fair, I used to see this game's cover back in the day when I was younger and I went out to a pretty specific pirated video game store, so I probably found the game for cheap and said why not?

 The game is very cheesy, in a good way, the dialogue was funny for all the wrong reasons. You play as Nicole, a female spy who had her husband and son murdered, so she is working for the Agency since that would give her a chance to avenge them. Spicy! Of course, throughout the whole adventure you do get to avenge them.

 The game is clunky, very clunky. To start off, X is sort of a context-sensitive button, that let's you use your grappling hook or jump onto ledges and what not. Thing is, and the game doesn't explain it properly, you have to point at it, in other words, you have to center the grappling point or the ledge on the screen. Once you get used to it it becomes almost second nature, but it until it does, it will feel off. You can't just stealth kill enemies, oh no, you have to go through a simple QTE.

 While you have a decent amount of guns, you don't get much ammo, so you have to be careful lest you get to a boss with few bullets. This means that most action-packed scenes, including bosses, are best played slowly and methodically, going for headshots to maximize your ammo. There's no melee attack whatsoever, besides the stealth kill, so there really isn't any other option.

 As for the stealth itself, it uses a 3-tier Alert system, much like Metal Gear Solid. If you are caught you enter Emergency mode, in which enemies will actively search for you, and will open lockers and search through possible hiding spots. Remain hidden for long enough, and you'll enter Alert Mode, in which enemies will be on the look out, but not aggressively, for you. You'll also enter Alert mode if enemies find a body you didn't hide or come across blood.

 There were some cool moments in the game, such as using bodies to cover deadly lasers, or having to scan eye retinas with a tool, but overall... I really aren't much of a fan of the genre, I don't like waiting. That said, it's not a bad game, a bit wonky, but I liked some of its ideas.

 6.0

Game #1208: M&M's Adventure

 I bet Smarties had this game made to make you hate M&M's 

 You thought M&M's Kart was bad? M&M's Adventure is here to see if it could get any worse. Honestly, I came at the game thinking it was a Crash Bandicoot rip off, turns out that was the PS1 game, but instead I got one of the worst platforming games I've played in recent memory.

 So you start off playing as Red and the first thing you'll notice is how awfully slow your movement speed is. Then you'll notice a missing door, with a floating handle, in the game's main hub, as well as a hallway that leads to nowhere. You can tell from the start that the game is unfinished at best, but broken at worst.

 Your main goal is to collect green M&M's, and progress is locked behind them. You need at least 80 out of 120 in order to open up the fifth, and final, world. By that part of the game it would mean collecting most, but not all, of the green M&M's available to you.

 The next thing you'll notice is that loading times are rather lengthy. And then how bad the collision detection can be. And it only gets worse. You cannot defend yourself from enemy attacks, if you are lucky you may be able, if the hitbox doesn't screw you over, to stun, very briefly, your enemy. That said, you are so slow, enemies are so fast and the hitboxes are so janky that avoiding damage feels impossible most of the time. There's no mercy invincibility, by the by. The flying enemies are the worst because you can't stun them and they follow you mercilessly. The fourth world, Halloween, is particularly nasty about it, in one section a moving platform must carry you from one place to another, and there's nothing you can do about the flying enemy, just take it and hope you make it to the end. It's absurd. I almost dropped the game on that world. 

 Unlike most other Platforming games, once you enter a world you must play every stage in order. Missed a green candy in the second to last stage? Too bad. Must replay the entire world. And if you die you lose anything and everything that you collected, oh no, you must make it to the end. And hopefully you remember how many green m&m's there are in that stage, as after you enter a stage there's no way to check.

 And the bosses? The bosses make no sense. For the Cherub you have to... wait, why the **** is a cherub a boss??? What does that have to do with M&M's or candy? So what if it's a Saint Valentine world, it still makes no sense. Anyways, you have to move towards a battery, so that if follows you, so that platforms will appear and you can jump on a switch and... electrocute him? What? Another boss you have to make him touch the green spray.... why? The Easter bunny has to be led to switches so that sometimes it gets a .... a nut? What? The only boss that made ANY sense was the Halloween boss.

 Well, guess what? There are two other playable characters, Yellow and Green. Each character has doors only they can go through and abilities unique to themselves. Kinda. Yellow is, actually, the only one with an ability, a double jump. Red's 'ability' is having flying stages, and Green's ability is that sometimes she gets a racket that must be used to repel some projectiles. It can't be used to harm enemies. This racket is used by swinging the Wiimote or... with the + button. Why not the unused B button? That'd make too much sense. Oh, and Green is under a time limit.

 Things of note: Sometimes Yellow and Green can skip some stages, but other times you'll have to go through stages that hold no Green M&M's they can collect. And while Red must play every stage in the first two worlds, from world 3 onwards sometimes he skips stages. Which is weird. For whatever reason, you cannot play stages as the other two UNTIL Red has found every single green M&M in a stage. Sometimes there are power ups, but they are very rare. I found an invulnerability power up on the final world, Christmas, and I think it got bugged 'cause I was invincible throughout the entire stage.

 M&M's Adventure is a masterclass in how not to make a platformer game. It's broken, it's unfinished, it's poorly made, but what's even worse than all of that... it's downright boring. The movement speed is just pathetic, it feels like going anywhere takes forever. There's nothing good I can say about it, and the cherry on top is that it actually made me dislike M&M's a bit.

1.5

Game #1207: The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

 The king never left.

  I spent a huge part of my childhood playing The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King, albeit on PC, over and over and over again. Leveling up every single character, playing and replaying every stage with everyone. I loved it. The Two Towers was a fantastic game, with the Return of the King they dialed it up a notch.

 Well, at its core, it's the same game. Same gameplay. Weak and strong attacks, a parry, a projectiles attack, a score multiplier that, when maxed, makes you stronger, and an incredibly satisfying downward stab to finish off enemies. It feels a bit faster now, more arcadey, which I love. It also has Multiplayer, which makes it even better. 

 But they took it up a notch by making everything bigger. While it has more or less the same amount of stages, they are longer, and now there are three routes: The Wizard route, in which you play as Gandalf, the King's Route, in which you play as Aragorn, Legolas or Gimli and the Hobbit Route, in which you play as Sam. But don't worry, after you finish the game you can replay any stage as any other character. You can also unlock Frodo, Merry, Pippin and friggin' Faramir.

 Honestly, there's not much else left to say. It's just like the Two Towers but better. If anything, some of the final stages can veer a bit into frustration, but it's not too bad considering how great all the other stages are.

 Yeah, The Return of the King has aged pretty well, it's still one of the best licensed games I have ever played. If you removed the license, the game would be JUST as good, but as someone who adores the book AND the movies, the license only makes it better, and they used it very well.

 9.0

Game #1206: Ganryu 2 - Hakuma Kyojiro

 Donkey Kong Ninja.

 I came across Ganryu 2: Hakuma Kyojiro while browsing through Play-Asia, and I came across this 2-D retro-styled new game. I didn't even know what a Ganryu was, but the screenshots looked neat, and at that point, nothing else mattered. Well, this is a 2-D action/platforming game that is very reminiscent of the latter Shinobi games on the Genesis, such as Blade Dancer. It's also, quite probably, even harder.

 The game has 5 stages, as far as I could see, divided into two acts each. There might be a sixth stage, but I wouldn't know since I couldn't get past 4-1. This is probably one of the hardest games I've played in recent memory. Every stage has two bosses, one per act, and if you run out of lives it's back to act 1. At least you don't go back to level 1! What I'll grant the game is that it has a ton of variety. Act 1-2 has a section with mine-carts, similar to Donkey Kong Country. Act 2-2 ends on a shoot'em up stage. Stage 3's bosses are fought while constantly running forward, and act 4-1 has you platforming upward through falling platforms. All these variety makes it reminiscent of oldschool games, which is pretty cool. Stage 5 probably has some sort of neat gimmick at some point, but I wouldn't know... yet. Maybe?

 Musashi is armed with a sword, Kunai and some magic. You have about 5 spells or so, but let's be honest, the only spell that really matters is the healing spell. You must fill your magic gauge, by finding pick ups, either from objects or slain enemies, and only when full can you use your magic. Kunai are limited, but it's usually the most common pick up. You can also dash, which can kill enemies on your way forward, as well as break tougher enemies' guards so that you can wail on them with your sword. Hidden throughout every level you can come across hidden walls that are filled with goodies and power ups.

 Enemy placement is kinda nasty, as they just pop all over the place out of thin air, catching you offguard. Musashi can run pretty fast, and the offensive dash might encourage you to keep on the move, but that would be a mistake. I was stuck on Stage 2 for the longest time, most of the time I couldn't make it out of 2-1, because I kept running forward. That was the wrong approach. If you play it slow you'll have a much better time and a much better chance at making any progress.

 But unfair enemy placement is the least of the game's problems. Level design is kinda garbage at times. Sometimes it's hard, not to say impossible, to see what's beneath you, feeling like you must make a gamble and hope not to fall on a bottomless pit. There are also a ton of performance issues, which is baffling on a 2-D game, but what was even MORE shocking was that stage 2 became almost unplayable when I tried it out with the Switch docked. Stage 4 has this weird bug that causes Musashi to grow an extra pair of legs. It's unsightly. Something about the game itself feels a bit wonky, one time, all my controls stopped working except dashing.

 I heard people praise the animations, but I disagree. Some animations feel kinda stiff, and the art-direction is a bit amateurish at times. Heck, the spinning slash has some sort of weird transition that makes it look as if your character flickers. Maybe it does flicker. I'm not sure, but it made me think I got hit a couple of times.

 The controls are a another issue, the Katana slash is mapped to the X button, which is above the B button, the one you use to jump, which is very awkward. There's a Controls option on the main menu... but it does nothing but show you the controls. Lame!

 And then, despite all these issues, despite the unfair enemy placement, the sometimes questionable level design, the poor control layout... the game is very punishing. Checkpoints are nice, but your Kunai drop down to 10 and your magic gauge goes back to 0. Magic is useful for bosses, so respawning before a boss with no magic is incredibly punishing. Losing your stock of Kunai also sucks, and what's worse, you can find items that increase your maximum hit points by one.... but it's lost as soon as you lose a single life. This game hates you.

 While I'm not big on the overall art direction, I love having new sprite-based games. I also love the amount of variety in the action.... that said, the game feels very unfair, and it has many questionable design choices, including a rather poor control layout. I think the game has its heart in the right place, but it simply didn't deliver.

 5.5