Review #486: Spartan - Total Warrior

 Totally not God of War, but close enough!

The cover is butt, but the game is anything but.

 Spartan: Total Warrior is a hack and slash beat'em up spin off of the Total War real time strategy games. It has some similarities to the God of War games and to Dynasty Warriors, but it's its own beast.

 The game pits you as The Spartan, a spartan(D'oh) aided by Ares to defeat the forces of Crassus and Tiberius while fighting under Leonidas.... yeah, it's a fictional story that mixes a few historical figures with myths and legends, you'll meet Medusa and fight a Minotaur too. There're flamethrowers and ballistas for good measure too. The story is pretty meh, the voice acting is atrocious and the conclusion is given away by the first act's narration. No, you won't be playing this game for its story.

From zero to hero, The Spartan's armor will change as you beat stages.

 As The Spartan you'll be aided by the gods in your enterprise, wielding various weapons and magics. There're two attack buttons(weak and strong) and a jump button, while all four shoulder buttons are used as 'modifiers'. L1 makes The Spartan aim with his bow, L2 is your block button(that can be used with the attack buttons for single or radial shield bashes), R1 lets you use Rage attacks, when the rage bar is full(two varieties too, single target or radial) and R2 is the Magic button(Once again, Single target and radial). It sounds like a handful... and it is, many a time I found myself wasting magic when I wanted to use rage attacks, or aiming with the bow when I wanted to block. It took a while before I got comfortable with it, and even then I messed up occasionally.

 The directional pad can be used to switch between your weapons: Gorgon Shield and Sword, Athena's Blades(No, not those), Achilles' Spear and the Deathbiter(The Hammer). Every weapon has its strengths and weaknesses, as well as their own two unique magic spells. Mind you, while you can swap weapons at any time, you must be standing still, it doesn't matter if you're blocking or not, just don't be touching the left analog stick. Yes, it's a bit annoying, but you can manage. Do be careful with Checkpoints, however, as they'll restore you with the exact same amount of health you had when the game saved, which could potentially leave you in an unwinnable state. It didn't happen to me, but it could happen.

There's plenty of enemies and allies on-screen at the same time

 The game is based on chapters that play out in a very linear fashion, although there's room for exploration if you want some extras, most which affect the Arena mode. There's a little bit of everything in here, there're some very basic puzzles every now and then, there're a few escort missions(One's infamously tough, although I didn't have trouble with it) but most of the time it's all about you and your army against the Romans. Battles can take epic(As far as the PS2 goes!) proportions, with dozens of troops on-screen at once and a very steady framerate to boot. The combat is relatively fun, but sometimes it can get a bit repetitive, with you mashing the shield-bash move until you can get an opening and land some hits. And after each stage you'll be given stat points to even the odds, while you can spend them on Health, Damage or Magic, by the end of the game everything will be maxed, so don't think too hard about the 'perfect build'.

 The game can get VERY tough, but it's always very, very fair. You're given a lot of tools, and as long as you can figure out which ones to use on every occasion, you'll be fine. Sometimes you'll be alone against hundreds of soldiers, so you'll have to make do with the Gorgon Shield's magic and petrify them, and then use Athena's blades to quickly make mince-stone out of them, or perhaps it's better to use Achilles' invulnerability spell and lay waste to the enemy? Assassins can be tough if you go at them with Athena's blades, so equip the Gorgon's Shield and Sword and take them out against the walls. Or maybe the best way to deal with the enemies in the sewers is to bash them down to the abyss with your powerful shield bash. The only weapon that felt useless was the hammer, while it's the only weapon that can ignore shields... it's too slow, so for every hit that you land you'll be receiving three. It's very tough, but make good use of your tools and you'll be A-OK.

The Spear is a fantastic weapon to deal with most constricted enemy-infested areas.

 But the game's biggest offender is... fall damage. WHY?! Since when is fall damage a good thing!? WHY OH WHY IS FALL DAMAGE IN THE GAME?... well, it's not a huge issue, but do be careful when going up-and-down multi-leveled stages. The game is pretty lengthy, probably 6 hours long, and there's an Arena mode if you are so inclined, which tasks you with defeating various waves of enemies.

 Spartan - Total Warrior is a total blast to play. It's got a few technical flaws that keep it from greatness, but most of what it does it does it well. It might be a bit too tough for some, but there's an Easy option and I'm guessing it might be more lenient on players. Regardless, the challenge on Normal is just right and I loved how it made you work with what you had in order to come out victorious.
 7.5 out of 10