Online Adventures of a Kid and Dial Up Internet

 You can take the Kid out of a Troll, but you can't take the Troll out of the Kid.

 Ah, yes, Dial-up internet, how I don't miss thee. Going online was more expensive, and you'd occupy the telephone line, so everyone would be on your back. "Get off! I need to make a call" and all those party-pooper lines trying to cut short my adventures. Nevertheless, adventures I had, and adventures I'll tell, starting with...

  Dark Ages was my first foray into online-gaming, I read about it in a GamePro magazine, and I liked what I saw, so at the first chance I got I searched for it and found it. The game had a level cap of 10 or 14, and afterwards you'd have to pay to keep playing, but, for some reason my main character(I made smurfs) Archile got bugged, and I could keep on playing, granted, I couldn't level up, but the game was awesome, so I didn't mind. To be honest, I don't remember much about the game, but I know that I used to be that guy. Yes, the guy that would shout "FREE EQUIPMENT PLEASE" and the like, luckily people were friendly and they'd drop stuff. For what it's worth, I gave out some equipment to beggers too. My fondest memories lie with a pink-haired girl avatar, being young, I assumed girl avatar=girl, so that was my first internet crush. We'd quest together, me being the Warrior, and she the healer, but eventually she stopped playing, but I kept going on.
 I remember one night in particular, where I partied up with 4 other Warriors, and we went to tackle the upper levels of a cave. Whenever one of us died, since it was a hardcore game, all of your stuff would drop when you died, we'd stand in a cross, around the fallen items, so that other players wouldn't steal their stuff. Even though they protected my items when I died, I do remember stealing a pendant from one of them. Nobody noticed, not even the owner. Ah! Five-finger discount, always reliable.

 Not an online-game per-se, but this is the site that made me. Funny thing, since I was a minor at the time, I wasn't allowed to create an account, so I faked age, and as soon as I turned 18, switched the birth date to the real one. I don't remember why or how, but I got hooked into the Forums, and had all kinds of adventures in there. My greatest achievements was being in the top 10 users with most reviews and Blams, but eventually I grew up and decided to make better, longer reviews( I did mention that this site molded me, right?) since I enjoyed writing them so much, and my previous reviews were pretty bad, one sentece reviews are lame after all!. I had a nemesis in here too, Tanner, a mod. For some reason, I developed a strong animosity towards him, so I'd make Topics like "Tanner the Banner", "Tanner the Faggot"(I was a kid, cut me some slack), "For Tanner" and the ilk, and proceeded to insult him. Or his mom. For some reason, even though he closed the Topics, rarely would he ban me. If I got banned, it was from other mods, Tanner himself probably found it amusing.
 While I wasn't a household name in the site, I was one of the first members of the LatinGrounds "spinoff" site, where Spanish-Speakers banded together. I made loads of online friends through LatinGrounds, among them Nacho-GS, my namesake, which whom I'd spent hours speaking and trolling with. Sadly I fell out of touch with him, but my god did we troll. He wasn't too keen on English, so I'd usually translate for him, and he too joined on my Tanner posts. One Troll that got us temporarily banned of LatinGrounds, was when one of us pretended to be Oscar, the mastermind behind Latingrounds, and fooled another member. It was so worth it. We were awesome.
 But all of these memories pale when compared to my Master Troll. The was this guy, Phantasmal_lx or something like that. I liked his Signature Banner(An animated gif), so I stole it.... and placed it under my sig. Since I was a young troll, and I wanted to troll, I copied all his personal info into my personal page, images, links, everything, and then changed my name to something similar, I guess it was "_Phantasmal_lx". Thing is, I started to stalk him, and post wherever he posted. He, for some dumb reason, changed his name to something different, and then I had my chance. I STOLE HIS NICKNAME. Next step in my Troll Gambit, was to search his post history, and I found it... a Photo of him, posted by him. Back then, the "Photoshop me" Topics were quite popular, so I made one with his photo. Many users chimed in, Wade Fulp, Admin of Newgrounds and Brother of Tom Fulp, the founder, made a photoshop too. It was glorious. Later he made Topics talking about me, he even e-mailed Wade Fulp about me, and was pretty pissed that even Wade photoshopped him. He cried that using his photo wasn't permited(Which many users corrected him, once you make it public, it becomes public.) and that he changed his name so that he wouldn't be associated with me. Of course, it didn't make sense, so most users, Wade Fulp included, didn't believe him. I had an earlier join date after all, so if someone was trying to ape someone, it was him. Some users, the minority, actually reasearched the case and figured I used to be named Archile, but it didn't make a difference. I had officially stolen his existance. I actually wrote in one of his Topics, saying "Why would someone do that((Steal his nickname))?", I was having a riot.
 Last thing worth mentioning, this is the site where I created the Archile persona(Oops, I think this segment should've come before Dark Ages. My bad), but before Archile, my first nickname was War_Striker. I came upon that nick name while trying to name myself "Cloud Strife"(Lame, I know), Strife became Strifer, then Striker. And Cloud somehow turned into War. Funny!

 One of my favorite game franchises( Part III is part of my backloggery at the moment, but after playing the Demo, I can say that it's a game with the name Dungeon Siege, but not a Dungeon Siege game. It's still fun though) ever, Dungeon Siege. The first game had an online component, and I trolled the sh!t out of it. The first step into my Dungeon Siege legacy was getting the Hacked spell, "Of Agony Of Agony". This spell would raise your stats way past the limits of the game, turning you into a killing machine. After enough begging in PVP game, some kind soul gave it to me, and afterwards, there was no going back. I'd make "hardcore" PVP rooms, which meant that if you died, all of your items would fall. I bid my time as people came, and I'd slay them, Kick them out of the room, grab their items and sell them. I was mean. I remember one guy in particular who kept coming back "Please, I need them". Poor fool, I'd let him join, kill him again(This time he'd drop nothing), taunt him, and kick him again. One surefire way I had devised of getting victims was naming the rooms "Noob Helper", "Agony of Agony for everyone!" or "Double Experience mods".
 There was one guy that had a complete hacked armor set, and when I hit him, his armor would reflect the damage. I'd do so much damage, that said blow would kill us both. All of our items would fall out, and even though I kicked him out of the room, he kept coming back, and having to grab my items from the huge pool of items was a daunting task. Still, I kept some of his hacked items, since they were better than mine. By this time, I had already dipped my feet into the world of mods, so I had a x4 inventory size mod, which allowed me to keep the Freeze and Molten armor sets, and grab everything my victims would leave behind.
 For what it's worth, before finding out about the For Agony For Agony spell, I had played a lot of multiplayer. I had made some allies which whom I'd play after my bed time. Heck, that's how I found out about the hacks, one of said friends lent me a hacked Sword so that I would have an easier time on the harder dungeons. Thanks to him I found out about Rejuvenating potions too!

 My adventures in this game are many, so I'll just mention the highlights, starting with my own code of rules. Yes, I am a troll, but I keep it as a rule not to rage at teammates. Unless they rage at me. Enemies, on the other hand, are fair game, so I always keep a finger over the Shift Key, for a swift "/all lol @ [insert enemy champion's name]".
 What made me infamous was Twisted Fate. I had two topics made in my... dishonor?. Y'see, Twisted Fate was redesigned at that time, and he had some bugs... like TF's skills working on turrets. That made him a Turret Killing Machine. Nothing could stop him, if you built him right(Which I did). I'd be the team carry, even if I ended 3/28/2. Every time I ulted towards a turret, the enemies had to stop whatever they were doing in order to stop me, otherwise, their tower would fall in seconds. Seconds. One game lasted more than an hour, since an Enemy Cho'Gath decided to stay at the nexus, protecting it from me. I'd ult in, damage it a bit and get killed. We were at a deadlock...'till I bough Guardian Angel and destroyed their Nexus. Cho'Gath got so mad he actually wrote in the forums, and while he didn't say my name, he was talking about me. I had fun. Until TF got nerfed.
 My next grand Troll was... the Smurfing. I made loads of smurfs in order to reap the rewards of referals, but one smurf in particular... "El Presidente". While playing as El Presidente, I'd play as Nunu, and would shout in the /all chat things like "I'M EL PRESIDENTE AND I'M GOING BOT". I spoke the truth, so they had no reason not to believe me when I said "I'M EL PRESIDENTE AND I'M GOING B".... except I didn't, and hid in the bush. They thought my lane partner was alone, so they pushed onwards... only to be greeted by an angry Nunu, and after the massacre? "I LIED". El Presidente was the most fun a troll could have without taking his clothes off. But it's better if he does.
 I have more League of Legends stories, but I'll keep them for another time....