Review #71: Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

 Take Phoenix Wright, next, mess everything up.

 I bought this game expecting a Phoenix Wright clone. It is a Phoenix Wright clone, made by the same developer, although not the same team. But.... it's so bad. It's hard to fit the game within a genre, the best fit would be ab adventure game. You must travel through different places, talk with people and gather Evidence(Items) that you must later use in court to prove the witness wrong. Or get more information out of them.
  The game really doesn't have a story, but rather, 5 different and independent chapters, although they must be played in order. Each case is really short, probably 30-40 minutes long at most. Basically, the whole game is as long as one Phoenix Wright case. Really, really disappointing. The game also tries to be funny, it tries really hard, but while I may have chuckled a couple of times, the game's humor didn't really do it for me. Maybe fans of the show might get more of it, but I didn't.

 As previously stated, each missions plays more or less the same. Someone gets accused of something and you must save them. This involves visiting places and examining them, searching for evidence. Every now and then the game might have you use one of the items you have on the Evidence in order to trigger something, but these are very few, select occasions. When you go to the stand, it's standard Phoenix Wright fare, witnesses say their part and you must examine it, finding flaws in their statements...except that most of the time, the evidence that you must present makes no sense. Sometimes the witness won't even be lying at all, and you just need to present the item they just talked about just to get more information out of them. It's a bit offputting and dumbfounding.
 The presentation is it's biggest asset, it has the voice actors from the show and the game looks really good. Some of the animation shows that it was, probably, made in Adobe Flash, but it doesn't matter. While I guess they were going for fidelity, I'm really not a fan of the voicework, it's too exaggerated. Maybe fans of the show will "get it", but to me, it tries too hard to be funny.

 Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law is a very boring game. It's very short, and it's just no fun at all. I admit I chuckled a couple of times, but most of the time I was bored out of my skull. It tries so hard to be funny, but most of the time it falls flat on it's face. This is not a good game, not by a long shot. And this game got a physical release while Phoenix Wright V didn't, Capcom, get your priorities straight.
 2 out of 10

Review #70: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

 What a letdown.

 So I've been told by lots, both friends and randoms, that I just had to play the Uncharted trilogy, so I obliged. After so much hype, so much build up, it had to be awesome. It isn't.
 The game is set up as a summer block buster popcorn action movie, y'know, those that are a dime a dozen. Even the dialogue follows suit, luckily, the writing is fantastic. The story itself has a few twists here and there but nothing too shocking. Basically, Nathan Drake is this generations Lara Croft, he is hired to find the remains of his ancestor, Francis Drake, as he hid a treasure somewhere. Drake soon finds himself knee-deep in trouble, as other parties are interested in the same treasure. The characters are very typical of the genre, Nathan is the cocky one-liner spouting and gun-toting hero, he works alongside Sullivan, a friend of his who provides gunfire cover every now and then, plus, his relationship with Nathan is very interesting, lastly for the good guys, there's Elena, even though she had never held a gun before, she quickly fells almost as many baddies as Drake himself. Bad guys are as cliched as they get, I'd delve deeper but I might spoil a couple of things.

 Uncharted is a third-person action game with a few adventure elements. Most stages are pretty linear, although exploration is encouraged in the form of hidden treasures. When Nathan isn't shooting hundreds of bad guys, he is climbing cliffs, vines, worn down walls and what have you. Platforming is reminiscent of Prince of Persia(PS2), however, it doesn't feel as tight. Sometimes the game lets you get away with mashing X while aiming in the direction of the next object, sometimes you'll have to be more precise. Sometimes it thinks that you want to jump away from the object, when you just want to jump in order to hasten the climb. Most of the time it works fine, though, but I'd lie if I said I didn't have some grievances with it. Occasionally there'll be some pushing or pulling in the form of puzzles, they are pretty easy to figure out though. As a whole, it's alright, although movement feels a bit loose.
 Most of the game has you taking cover and shooting though. My biggest beef with the game, is that the game loves to place you in "arenas' as soldiers surround you. These sections easily grow long in the tooth, specially since most enemies are bullet sponges, while drake can only take 3-4 direct hits before dying. Aiming for headshots is a must, as ammo can get rather scarce, specially when enemies get you pinned down and you can't move in to gather ammo from fallen enemies. As with most modern shooters, there's no health bar, opting instead for giving Drake regenerating health, as long as he doesn't receive damage. Hiding behind cover waiting for your health to recover isn't really my idea of fun. Oh, cover, once again the controls are a bit wonky, getting out of cover, or into cover, feels a bit clunky and imprecise. And why you could lower the difficulty to easy, easy is too easy. Adding insult to the injury, throwing grenades is done by tilting the joystick to determine the arc of the throw, who came up with this I do not know, but I despise him.

 As previously stated, there are treasures hidden throughout the game. They don't reward you in a direct manner, rather, there are achievements, some of these are related to the treasures. Achievements are not just for bragging rights, the more you get, the more points you get. These points unlock a variety of extras, from graphic filters, to costumes(Fat Drake!!) for both enemies and heroes, infinite ammo, behind the scenes videos and a variety of extras. Really neat. The game itelf is a bit on the short side, but the amount of extras give it some replay value.
 The presentation is fantastic. While the character's skin looks a bit too shiny and like if it were made out of plastic, the rest of the textures look fine. Even for a rather early PS3 game, it rivals a lot of late-releases. There are lots of neat touches, like clothes getting wet. The world itself is highly detailed and pleasing to explore. Still, there's not a whole lot of different enemies, and a lot of them are color-coded. The guys with the red shirts? They carry rocket launchers. The fat guys? They have the shotguns. And so on, and later on, when the camouflage guys are introduced, the guys with the hats(The same hats the guys in the red shirts wore) have the rocket launchers, and so on, it feels a bit cheap. What really hurts the visual presentation is the huge amounts of pop in that there is. Many times the game will load faster than the textures do, this is a frequent thing, so get used to it. Everything audio related, however, is phenomenal. The soundtrack is fantastic, every piece of the score sounds great, and the voice work is nothing short of perfect, it helps that the lines they get to deliver are so good.

 I really don't understand why this game was regarded so highly, it's not that much fun. The production value is through the roof, and it's clear that Naught Dog really tried, but it's just not that much fun at all. Most of the time it feels as if you are going from shooting arena to shooting arena, with the odds stacked against you. And the platforming is not as good as say, Prince of Persia. Frankly, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

 4 out of 10.

Now Playing: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

 Better than the first one!

 I didn't like Uncharted 1 too much. I found lots of flaws in it, which I will cover in a bit, and as a result ended up not having much fun with it. So far Uncharted 2 feels much better. Movement all around feels better, I think graphics aren't as sharp as before, but at least there's no pop in, unlike Uncharted 1.
 I haven't been in a shootout yet(Just cleared the 2nd chapter), but controls work much better, at least what I tried in Multiplayer. Here's to hoping the shooting galleries and bullet-sponge enemies are gon.

Review #69 Risen 2: Dark Waters

 One of the most hardcore mainstream RPGs of this generation.

 As the name implies, Risen 2 is the direct sequel to Risen, if you are a PS3 owner like me, you are screwed, as the first one is a PC/X360 exclusive. You don't really need to have played the first one, but characters love referencing it, so a lot of the jokes and returning characters might get lost on you.
 The story sees the nameless hero turned into a Inquisitor drunkard(The reason as to why he is back to level 1), and the appearance of Mara, an ancient being bent on destroying the world. There's only one way to defeat Mara, and that is to gather 4 ancient artifacts, the main character is tasked with doing so, but he will need to enter the Pirate world and abandoning the Inquisition. The story is nothing special, and neither are the characters, the dialogue however is, at times, quite entertaining.

 The game plays like most western RPGs, being very open ended. As soon as you leave the first island, you are free to gather the artifacts at your leisure. There are numerous sidequests to be done as well, which reward you with Items, Gold and or Glory. Glory is this game's Experience Points, and it's almost as hard to come by as Gold. Y'see, this is a very hardcore and unforgiving game, you need Gold for everything: Getting items and equipment, learning skills and sometimes, even to fulfill certain sidequests. Heck, the few equipment pieces that can be found are pales in comparison to what you can buy, except that one sword that you can forge. Stuff is very expensive, and gold is a very rare find, specially early on the game. The worst part is, you use Glory to level up your stats(Blades, Toughness, Cunning, Guns, Voodoo), however, that doesn't net you any skills, oh no. You must find a Teacher that will charge exorbitant amounts of money to teach you skills. At the outset of the game, your character cannot do anything besides attacking with the square button. Power Attacks, parrying, stealth, lock picking? All requires to be taught. And you will require some of these in order to fulfill some sidequests and earn more money. As previously stated, the early game is really hard, I easily died over 7 times in the first three hours of the game, save often.
 The game lasts around 30 hours, and you won't get enough Glory and Gold to max out everything, so you must choose wisely. Furthermore, later in the game there's a branching path in which you can choose to side with the natives and learn Voodoo, or side with the Inquisition and get access to better Gun teachers and learn to handle a Musket. Minor happenings on the main quests also change up a bit, which is kinda nice. As you go through the game, you will aquire a small, but respectable crew. There's about 5 characters, one that needs the DLC to get, and a couple of "?" on the menu, which probably means that there was more DLC planned. Some of these companions, three of them actually, you can bring alongside you. They are really useless, and tend to get stuck on terrain. At least they help on the early game by attracting enemies towards them, exploiting them quickly becomes second nature.

 Graphics are really mediocre, siding on bad. Animations are stiff and dated, and models aren't too appealing. Even worse, a lot of character models are cloned and retouched a bit, leaving dozens of NPCs with the same face. The Islands themselves fare a lot better, offering some very pleasing vistas. There also happen to be tons of framerate issues, fighting on watery areas, with a companion against more than one foe can become quite taxing on the fram rate. Many times, it gets so bad that the game might mistake mashing the Square button for holding it, due to the slowdown, making you attack with an unwanted heavy blow(Which you must learn, by the way). The music is alrightish, nothing to write home about, and the voice acting is merely adequate. There are many NPCs that share the same voice actor, and it's hard not to notice. At least the dialogue is rather good.
 As frustrating as the framerate issues are. As vexing as the game is at the start, I was having fun with it. Beneath all the technical issues, beneath it's unwelcoming exterior, deep down, there is a decent game. Still, it's hard to recommend, even to pirate fans, as the beginning can be quite offputting.
 6 out of 10.

Review #68: Warriors Orochi 3

 This game is what fanservice is when done right.

 I've played a lot of 'Warriors' games this year, but this is, by far, the best one.Warriors Orochi is a celebration of the Warriors franchise, it brings together every character from Dynasty Warriors(Up to 7), Samurai Warriors(Up to 3) and a variety of guest characters from other Koei franchises and new original characters based in both Japanese and Chinese stories, for a total of over 120 different characters.
 The story picks up from where Warriors Orochi 2 left off, regardless, it's not a necessity to have played any 'Warriors' game before, you may not get the whole scope on character relationships, but you don't really need to. Regardless, this game is much more story-heavy than other Warriors game, instead of following real history, it features a completely original story. The story itself is nothing special, what makes the game, however, are the character interactions. You get to see your favorite characters interact with each other, Dynasty characters that have Samurai counterparts, or characters that share certain traits. You get to see characters from their own universes that wouldn't have possibly met(Due to death or what have you) interact. This is what fanservice is all about, and it's quite the treat for series veterans.

 There's three modes: Story, Free and Battlegrounds. Battleground is a series first, where you can create stages and then share them online. Free Mode is basically useless, as the story mode allows you to pick any stage, at any time, however, Free Mode removes any and every cut-scene. Lastly, Story Mode is the main mode and has Sima Zhao, Ma Chao and Takenaka as the sole survivors of the attack of the Hydra. When all seems lost, a Mystic comes to their aid and grants them the ability to go back in time to certain moments, thus, they set out to save as many comrades as they can in order to amass a force large enough to face the hydra. There are a lot of stages, and even unlockable stages if you raise the bonds between certain characters. Sadly, many of these stages are recycled from Dynasty Warriors 7, Dynasty Warriors 6 and Samurai Warriors 3, however, they have some visual makeovers due to the Hydra's attack, and the mission objectives are completely different from their original incarnations.
 Gameplay compromises both Samurai and Dynasty universes. While basic Square and Triangle strings and Musou Attacks behave like they did in SW3 for SW characters, and like DW7 for DW characters, some changes had to be made. Dynasty characters lose their second Musou attack and Samurai characters lose their unique skill, however, every character has access to a unique special move that consume a bit of the Musou Gauge. For Samurai characters it's a completely new move, for Dynasty characters, most of the time it's a weakened version of their second Musou Attack. As for characters not coming from either saga, they either play as DW or SW depending on the character itself.

 Before each battle, you can equip your characters with different weapons and items. Items are found on the stages, while weapons are either dropped from enemy officers or bought at the shop. There's a very simple, but fun, weapon fusion system that allows you to take skills from one weapon into another, better weapon. You also get to make a team of three characters to take to battle. While only one of them is on the field at a time, you can switch between all three at will. If one of them dies it's game over though, and unlike other Warriors games, you don't charge the Musou gauge by hitting or getting hit, rather, by being "benched", so switching often is encouraged.
 The game suffers from little slowdown, while having dozens upon dozens of characters on-screen at the same time. Generals look very detailed, random enemies, however, do not. Sadly, Samurai Warriors enemies and Orochi enemies look noticeably worse than Dynasty enemies, probably due to the fact that they were taken from Wii and PS2 games, with a coat of HD applied on top. At least the SW generals look as awesome as the ones from DW. Music contains familiar pieces and a couple of remixes, plus some new tunes. Definitely the best soundtrack out of any Warriors game. While there is no goofy english voice acting, the Japanese VAs are really good, so not a major loss.

 Rounding the whole package up, there's a plethora of things to unlock. Many characters get unlockable costumes, heck, you start with a mere 3 characters out of 120, and while you earn most during Story Mode, there are many that require unlocking secret stages. And stages? There's plenty of them, and you'll want to go through them just to watch all the characters interact with each other, via cut-scene or just banter during the battle.
 If you are a hardcore fan, you probably already own it. If you ever were interested, even a tiniest bit, in the Warriors series, this is the game you want. While the recycled stages are a bit of a letdown, everything else makes up for it. This is Fanservice done right.
 9 out of 10

Now Playing: Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

 This game is awful.

 A Phoenix Wright clone? Made by Capcom, the creators themselves of Phoenix Wright? Count me in! Or so I thought. this game tries so hard to be funny, but it's not, in the slightest. I might've chuckled a bit on some scenes, but most of the time I feel like facepalming. And sometimes, what you must present makes no sense at all. Yeah... I hate this game, good thing I only payed 9 bucks for it.

Now Playing: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

 It's time.

 Since I'm done with the awesome Warriors Orochi 3(review soon) and the alrightish Risen 2(Review coming even sooner), and the fact that my sister won't let me advance through Deadly Premonition without her, I needed something new to play, hence, Uncharted. I've been harassed by friends and ps3 users for not having played the PS3 must haves, like Uncharted, so now I'm going to marathon through them, peer pressure at it's finest.
 First Impressions? It's deceptively fun. I wasn't having all that much fun, yet I couldn't put the controller down, and now it's 9:30 in the morning and I should be waking up at 12:00. So much fun. Regardless, I like it, it's obviously a really good game, yet, it's not for me. I've been wanting a respite from so many fighters and rpgs, and I thought and shooter was what I wanted... no, not like this. I like them fast and furious, this one is a bit more methodical, having to hide while my health regenerates is not my idea of fun. The climbing sections are kinda cool, but I'm still not sure if I suck at it or the controls act a bit funky. It's like I'm holding right, but Nate thinks I'm holding against whatever thing he's got his grip on.
 Ah well, up to chapter 6, but time to hit the sack.