Review #577: Super Mario Odyssey

 The gift that keeps on giving.

 I grew up with Mario. Donkey Kong and Super Mario Bros. Arcade NES ports were games I spent countless hours on, but nothing compared to how much of my childhood I invested in
Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World(Famicom bootleg). Mario 64 was my first brush with 3D, and one of my favorites on the N64. But then the PS2 and backwards compatibility came along and I jumped ship. Mario Sunshine? Skipped. Mario Galaxy? Didn't care. Mario Galaxy 2? I bought into the hype, and why I liked the game quite a bit... I was severely disappointed. I wasn't too interested in Odyssey, but hey, the Switch is a young console, and there isn't a whole lot of exclusives, so.... I gave it a chance. And I fell in love with Mario all over again.

 You know the drill already, Bowser kidnaps Peach. But this time around, Bowser is planning a wedding and thrashes Mario in the very first opening cutscene. But a ghostly hat, Cappy, posses his hat and vows to help Mario rescue peach... and his sister tiara. The game is over 10 large worlds long, with a few smaller worlds here and there. It doesn't sound like a whole lot, but there's a ton of different moons, this game's version of Stars, to collect. 880 moons, as a matter of fact. You only need a few, about 10-15 in order to progress to the next world, and there're a few moons that are very easy to find so it never feels like you're being held back from progressing against your will. Having 880 different moons also means that each world has about 50, so there's a ton of different things to do and find on each. It really is the gift that never stops giving.

 But it doesn't stop there! Death is a slap in the wrist this time around, Mario can only sustain up to three hits(Six if you find the power up) before dying, but the only penalty is a paltry 10 coin fee. Since the game doesn't run on lives anymore, coins are instead used in shops to purchase different costumes for Mario. Each world also has 50 or 100 devilishly hidden purple coins that can only be spend in the world they are found in, and they are used to purchase even more costumes or decoration for the Odyssey, Mario's ship that carries him from world to world. Super Mario Odyssey is a very meaty game, and there's no shortage of stuff to do and find.

 That's WHAT you do in the game, but HOW do you do it? Well, Odyssey plays a bit like a Mario 64 in that you are thrown into large but self-contained worlds that you're free to explore at your leisure. Mario has all his usual assortments of moves and then some. Jumping, triple jumping, side jumping, crouch jumping and wall jumping are all in, alongside Mario's 3D trademark: The ground pound. There're a bunch of new, and honestly unnecessary moves, like the punch-jump, by jumping after a ground-pound, 'catching', by pressing ZL and B on the air and a few others I'm probably forgetting about. Lastly, Mario lost his three-punch combo and his spin-attack, instead, throwing Cappy, with the B button, is his main form of combat...

 Kinda. While Cappy can defeat smaller enemies, it's also able to posses enemies and objects. While it sounds like a gimmick at first, the developers went out of their way to craft all forms of fun objectives to complete with the different forms Mario can assume. Posses a T-Rex and lay waste on smaller enemies and rocks. Posses a stone-creature-things with shades that can see invisible roads... but only while moving slowly and wearing his shades. Build a giant tower of Goombas to seduce a female Goomba. Posses a friggin' manhole cover in order to open up the way to a secret area. Trust me, there's a lot of fun stuff to do there.

 As good as everything is, and it really is good, I'd lie if I said I didn't have a few issues with the game's controls. Firstly, the Switch's analog stick isn't the best, a few times I found myself wishing I could have a more precise radius of movement. Secondly, hiding a few moves behind the ZL button. Y'see, in practice, ZL and ZR are used to crouch. But the special moves, such as the air-catch, can only be done with the ZL button. And finally, every enemy you can possess has a function that requires you to shake the joystick. Motion controls rarely are any fun, but if they are mandatory they are the absolute pits. Bad form, Nintendo, bad form. Motion controls suck, stop trying to force them on us!

 Mario is no stranger to multiplayer, but Odyssey implements it a little bit better than Galaxy 2 did. At any point a second player can pop in and play as Cappy. Cappy can't take damage, but it can hit stuff(Or posses stuff), ground pound enemies or switches and collect coins or hearts for Mario, albeit not moons. The second player can also move around while Mario is possessing an enemy, so you can seamlessly switch into another enemy or collect stuff from afar thanks to a second player. Disappointingly, there're a few sections and challenges that are Mario only, but they are few and far between.

 Super Mario Odyssey made me feel like a kid again, and there's no better praise I can give the game. Everything it set out to do it it succeeded with aplomb. And in an era of half-finished games and day-1 patches, not only is Odyssey a complete game, it'll also last you way longer than your average game, with tons of objectives and in-game unlockables that'll keep you coming back for more.
 10 out of 10

Review #576: Kingsley's Adventure

 This fox can't do a barrel roll.

 Can charm alone help make an ever-aging game tolerable? Kingsley's Adventure makes a great case study of it! This game is an adventure/platform game developed by Psygnosis, known for... well, they made a lot of games, so take your pick.

 The story places you in the boots of the fox Kingsley, a knight in training, who is tasked by the rabbit king and queen to save the land and defeat Bad Custard, an evil, yellow rat. Furries, enjoy. While the story is little more than context for the adventure, what really sells the game is how pretty everything is... despite the short draw distance that'd make Silent Hill blush. Each town is fairly distinct, although the same can't be said about the dungeons, featuring a colorful cast of animal-folk. Dialogue tries to be funny, but it really isn't, and somehow manages to make the characters fairly endearing. That was pretty much how I felt about the entire game, I wasn't invested in the story, but I was enjoying my trek through Kingsley's world immensely.

 Most of the game follows a simple formula: Talk to the king and queen,  go to the afflicted town, talk to the NPCs, enter the dungeon, defeat the boss, get new equipment(Mostly cosmetics) and then return to the king and queen. That goes on for the first four, and only, dungeons. Afterwards you'll have to defeat the four 'dark knights', which entails returning to every town and finding the entrance to the boss' lair. Once you've done all that, then you can tackle the final boss. The entire game can be beaten in about 3 hours, give or take. Do be careful, you can only save the game when entering foxholes, which means that you can only save when traveling between a town and the castle, so once you decide to tackle a dungeon you have to commit yourself until the end.


 Kingsley is, sadly, not as agile as a fox, and he controls via tank controls. As you might've guessed, this works very poorly in platforming environments. Dungeons 2 and 4 are particularly nasty due to all the platforming required, the conveyor belts in the second dungeon are benevolently safe, so you'll be stuck repeating the same jumps over until you get them right... this doesn't hold water on the fourth one, in which falling means death, so expect to see your firsts, and only, game overs in dungeon 4. Do be careful with your jumps, since, sometimes, it's possible to die instantly from tall heights. Finally, pressing switches or using keys can be... finicky, Kingsley must be extremely close, and you musn't be moving in any way before pressing square, otherwise the game will have trouble reading your inputs.

 It's not all jumping and running though, Kingsley's a knight in training, so he comes equipped with sword and shield. And eventually a crossbow too. There're three melee weapons, a dagger, an ax and, finally, a sword. Each weapon is better than the last, both in speed, range and power, so there's absolutely no reason to equip anything else than the last weapon you acquired, why you're allowed to boggles the mind. The crossbow, which is earned before the final dungeon, can only carry 10 arrows, and you can't pick up more arrows until you've depleted your entire quiver, so expect to see yourself shooting your last few arrows away in order to get a fresh refill. As for the combat, it's a simple mashing square affair. You can use the circle button to block, but it's not required, and, most of the time, a good offense is the best defense.

 While Kingsley's adventure is an adventure game, there's not much point in exploring your surroundings. At most you'll find coins, which will grant you an extra life every 50 coins you collect. Dungeons don't hold much secrets either, and they are fairly easy to traverse, with very simple puzzles sprinkled throughout barring your progress to the next room. There are no secret rooms or backtracking necessary, you just move forwards, solve the puzzle and move on. Bosses are fairly simple too, no brain power required. Although the third boss might take you by surprise, being the only boss that  requires you to block an incoming attack in order to deal damage to him.

 Kingsley's Adventure is very simple and very flawed, but at its core lies a rather entertaining little game If you removed all the platform segments, or gave the player better controls, it could've made for a much more fun game. But I think what really makes the game more than a sum of its parts is it's charming presentation and world, as this is a game that's even just nice to look at.
 6.0 out of 10

Review #575: Die Hard Trilogy 2 - Viva Las Vegas

 3 sloppy games for the price of one.

 The first generation of 3D games haven't aged very well, but curiously enough, there's a couple of licensed PS1 games that tend to get brought up quite often, the Die Hard Trilogy duology. For reasons known only to me(faulty disc) I'll be taking a look at Die Hard Trilogy 2 first, the one I used to play on PC when I was younger, can't say I have many memories about it, but I can say one thing.... it hasn't aged very well.

 Die Hard Trilogy 2 is three games in one: A third person arcade shooter, a on-rails first person shooter and a driving game. There're three modes of play: Practice, in which you play a tutorial level for each mode to let you get a feel of what you'll be doing, Arcade, in which you play every stage in whichever mode you pick, and, lastly, Movie mode, which has you playing a mix of stages from all three modes, tied together by cutscenes telling a completely original, and not very good, Die Hard story. In my humble opinion, it's a decent array of modes and content, with bonus unlockable levels lying within.

 I bet the game is sounding pretty good right up to here, and, sadly, something's got to give: The game has aged as gracefully as a 20 year old grape. Let's start with the best, the on-rails shooter is actually pretty decent, and it's probably loads of fun if you'v got a lightgun joystick. If you don't... oh, boy, get ready to grapple with the analog's sensitivity as you try to hit every incoming enemy, while avoiding hostages. That said, the game covers most of the basics, you have unlimited gun bullets, but can get other weapons by shooting at them, you can also shoot at health kits to recover your health. Sometimes, you'll also have to shoot projectiles, such as missiles or knives, in order to avoid incoming damage. Basically, it can be fun, but the dual shock isn't the ideal way to play the game.

 The driving stages are a bit interesting because there're many different objectives. Ram into an enemy until you defeat it, outrun a truck, get to a door before it closes, get bombs back to safety detonation zones while avoiding crashes. All of this while collecting nitro power ups or time extensions. Sadly, the controls aren't up to snuff, if you hit a wall, driving in reverse is very stiff and clunky. As a matter of fact, there's a certain slopiness to how movement in this mode feels. It's easy to accidentally overshoot your target, or trying to collect stuff, such as bombs, can be an exercise in frustration since the car's movement isn't smooth enough. All in all, these stages are great on paper, but the execution isn't up to snuff.

 The third person shooter mode is where most work went into, and the one that suffered the most. These stages feature various objectives, such as rescuing X amount of workers, getting to a certain place, finding keys in order to open up doors, etc. McClane can carry one extra weapon besides his unlimited ammo gun, with weapons such as sub machine guns or the world's weakest shotgun. Where this mode falters is in how stiff John moves. R1 and L1 are used to strafe while walking, which doesn't work very well in this game, while if you hold the Square you can run-strafe left or right, provided John doesn't come across an edge or a bump on the road, which will make him unable to move any more. It's horrible. Moving around environments feels very stiff, even if you don't take into account how bad the strafing is, tank controls don't help in an arcade shooter. The cherry on top is that most of the time it feels like you can't avoid taking damage, so these stages are unfairly hard because of that. Honestly, if it weren't for the stiff controls this mode could've been a blast.

 The silver lining in this... is that Die Hard Trilogy 2 can be sorta fun despite how badly it has aged. The lows certainly outnumber the highs, but I'd lie if I said the game was completely horrible. But I don't think those highs are worth wrestling the joystick for. It's easy to see why people have fond memories of the game, because everything sounds great, on paper, but the execution is so clunky due to poor controls that it ends up falling short of what it could've been.
 4.5 out of 10

Review #574: Metroid - Samus Returns

 She's back... and it's SO good.

 While I LOVE the Metroidvania genre, I've never been much fond of Metroid. I tried the original and Super Metroid, but never got too invested into them, and while I finished Fusion... it's a game I never touched again, lastly, Metroid - Other M was the first game I reviewed on this blog, earning a miserable 5 out of 10. Unrelated to that, I've also mused about how the 3DS was lacking a system seller, a game that made it worth it to own a 3DS. I think I just found it.

 Samus Returns is a remake of Metroid 2 on the Gameboy. I never played the original, so I can't say how faithful it is, but it does follow the same story thread: Samus must annihilate the last Metroids. The story is so simple that it sounds straight out of the Gameboy game, and after the initital cutscene detailing the backstory you get thrown into the game, and barring boss introduction and a few other seconds-long mini-cutscenes, there's no story whatsoever. After Fusion and Other M's misguided attempts at a in-depth plot, this is refreshingly good. This is a game that's 95% percent game and 5% watching, and it's exactly what you want on a handheld game.

 In case you've been living under a rock, this is how Metroid works: Played entirely in 2-D, albeit with 3-D graphics, you, as Samus, get to explore a hostile environment filled with obstacles that you may not be able to clear on the first go: Ledges far up beyond reach, doors you can't open, obstacles you can't destroy. But as you explore you'll come across new powers, such as morphing into a ball, shooting missiles, grappling beam, ice beams, etc that will allow you to reach new areas and clear previous obstacles. World design is not as intricate as Castlevania, so while the game is divided into 8 areas, you never need to backtrack to a previous in order to progress through the game... although why wouldn't you? Increasing your missile ammo supplies and maximum health are always welcome. As effective as Samus' default, infinite ammo, arm cannon is, some enemies and bosses require missiles to defeat.... at least until you find her beam upgrades.

 If you've played a Metroid game before, you've already seen most of what Samus will be able to do by the end of the game. The Screwattack, Ice beam, missiles and super missiles, power bomb, spider-ball, grappling beam... everything is here and accounted for, even Samus' upgraded suits are things you've already seen. That said, there are four new 'aeons', power ups that consume an energy gauge, that are entirely new to the series. Scan lets you scan a large area of the map, revealing any power up and breakable wall around you, Armor lets you traverse poisonous roads, Burst that lets Samus shoot so fast even armored enemies will fall to her assault and, lastly, Phase Shift, that slows down time. Honestly? The Scan is the best thing that ever happened to the game, I always found it ridiculous how you had to shoot seemingly innocuous walls in order to find secrets. And if you hate it, you can simply opt not to ever use the Scan. Your loss.

 There is a new ability, and Samus comes equipped with it right from the start, the Counter. By tapping X as a charging enemy is about to hit you, Samus will counter attack and automatically aim at it, for an easy kill. This also works on bosses, although in order to deal massive damage instead of instantly killing them, and it's one of the most effective ways to take them out. Speaking of bosses, while the final three are quite entertaining, and somewhat challenging fights, the rest of the 'bosses' come in the form of three repeated Metroid designs that you have to fight over and over again, 30 times as a matter of fact. It makes sense in-game, since Samus is tracking down the Metroids and there's no reason all of them should look different from one another, but bosses lose a bit of their punch when you already know what you're about to face. Which is probably what makes those three bosses stand out so much from the rest. Lastly, while you could always hold L in order to aim in all eight directions, now you can aim in all 360 degrees, which is more useful than it sounds and allows for some neat strategies.

 What may take a few players by surprise is how massively big the game can be. While speed running is still encouraged, a 100% playthrough of the game took me about 11 hours. Although I could've shaved at least an hour by not backtracking so often in order to search for goodies and simply wait until I had Samus fully decked out. Enemies deal large amounts of damage, so if you're not careful you will find yourself dying more often than not. Bosses have checkpoints before and after each fight, so it's not sadistic in that way... even if Save spots can be few and far between.

 Besides repeated bosses, there're a few other kinks in the game. For instance, gating content behind Amiibo, while a few act as glorified cheats, the Metroid Amiibo is the only way to access Fusion Mode, which grants Samus her Fusion suit and the entire Mode which changes how the game plays a bit. Nintendo, stop, you're better than this. The controls can have a bit of getting used to, for instance, after you get the Ice Beam, you'll be stuck swapping between it and your normal beam in order to access some areas, since the Ice Beam deals no damage but you need it in order to create platforms out of enemies. Thankfully, as soon as you get the Spin-Jump module you'll be able to forget about the Ice beam... at least until you find pure Metroids. Missiles can also be a point of contention, holding R button to use missiles is a mainstay by now, but swapping between Missiles and Super Missiles is done by tapping on the touchscreen... at least they selected until you die.

 Metroid - Samus Returns is not perfect, but it's damn close to it. If you enjoy Metroidvania's, there's a lot of ground to cover here and secrets to find, so much so that you'll surprise yourself backtracking often in order to collect stuff you left behind. And if you can't be bothered to go out of your way, that's just fine too, as the core gameplay is fun enough so as not to become a tedious affair, considering how long the game is.
 9.0 out of 10

Review #573: Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith(Nintendo DS)

 Much conflict in this one, there is.

 Among Star Wars games, one that gets quite a bit of praise is Revenge of the Sith for both Gameboy Advance and Nintendo DS, they are pretty much the same exact game. Ubisoft is no stranger to beat'em ups, having developed the exquisite TMNT on the Gameboy Advance and later down the line, Scott Pilgrim VS the World. I wish I could say that I echoed the sentiments of most people... but I don't, the force isn't very strong in this one.

 The game follows the plot from the movie of the same name, although it's a pretty lackluster retelling that skimps a lot on detail, as a matter of fact, Darth Grievious doesn't even get four lightsabers. You can choose to play the game as either Anakin or Obi-Wan, both characters only sharing about 3 of their total 13 stages. Weirdly, you can't change characters unless you reset the console. I think the game did the best it could, as far as following the plot, and since most people that are gonna play the game probably watched the movie first, it doesn't need to be so faithful. The game has a decent presentation, although the sprite work is a bit weird... Anakin and Obi-Wan look like digitalized sprites, while every other character and enemy is a simple 2-D sprite with no shadowing, which makes both heroes look very out of place.

 A jumps, B is your light saber, L is used to block and the R button, alongside any other button produces any of six different force powers. Anakin and Obi-Wan have different attack animations, but for all intents and purposes, they behave the same. Their Force powers are a bit different though, Anakin getting force chokes and force power ups, while Obi-Wan gets to heal or improve his speed, both characters can pull and push enemies and objects, however. There's a third gauge, besides your health and force power gauges, that fills up as you fight enemies, and you can spend energy from that gauge to produce super moves by pressing L+R and another button. It doesn't work very well since it's not very responsive, thankfully, you have all four moves mapped to the touchscreen.

 Exclusive to the Nintendo DS version are six fully 3-D ship stages, each character getting three of them, in which you must either defeat every enemy on a medium sized environment or get to the end of an obstacle course. They are a bit... out of place here, so much so that it's almost like a wasted opportunity, since these stages are so short, yet controls and movement has an unusual amount of care put in... they could've done so much more with them. These stages don't detract from the game too much, but it could've been nice to get the option to skip them, since I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't care about space dogfights on a beat'em up game.

 As for the game itself, it's kind of a mixed bag. Stages are quite boring, and a bit unfairly hard. Y'see, your life counter doesn't reset after each stage, so sometimes it's better to just kill yourself after starting a stage so that you can reset the life counter to 2(Or 5, on easy). It's a silly design choice. The stages themselves aren't too hard with a full life stock though, although I wasn't pressed to use my force powers. Combat grew so boring that after the third stage, on my first playthrough, I just wanted the game to end, so I played very sporadically until the end. Bosses are the worst of the bunch, as you have to guess how the boss is gonna attack, block, and then counterattack. Over and over again as you chip their health away. Waiting games are NEVER fun.

 Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith is decent at best and boring at worst. It just isn't very fun, not is it nice to look at, since better art could've made the game more endearing. There're much better Star Wars games out there, so don't bother with it until you're out of the good ones.
 5.0 out of 10

Top 20 games I Hate everyone else Loves

Top 20 games I Hate everyone else Loves

 Just like the previous list... but the other way around!


20) Breath of Fire IV

 Hate may be too strong a word for this game, which is why it's opening up the list. I used to play this game on PC, and had a blast with it, until I got to a point where I could simply not progress anymore because the game would freeze after Fou-Lou went crazy, or somethin' like that. I was not able to finish the game until much later down the line, when I got the PS1 version of the game.
 And, sadly, I wasn't feeling it as much as I did back when I was younger. I adore the art direction, any piece of official art is dope!, but the story wasn't as interesting as I once thought, and the gameplay was on par with what you'd expect out of a JRPG.... including with obtuse moments in which you'll be stuck talking and talking and talking with NPCs until you trigger the next event. Gathering all dragons without a guide is an exercise in frustration, and i'ts a dull hunt even with one at hand.

19) Sonic Battle

 Sonic Battle was the s@#*!! If you weren't playing it in Highschool, you were doing it wrong. But I was playing it, and boy, Sonic was finally cool in my eyes. But games come and go, so it wasn't long before I forgot about it. Years later, I'd find myself growing my collection of games, and it got to a point where Sonic Battle was something I needed to have.... but was hard to find.
 But I found it, and I played it, and I hated it.
 The fighting mechanics simply aren't much fun at all, although kudos on the animations, the game looks great. But even if the fighting mechanics were fun, the Story Mode is completely dull. You have to fight the same characters(It's a 10 character roster, after all!) over and over and over again. Many times you'll be outnumbered by lethal AI enemies, so much so that you'll learn that any chance of survival depends on you cheesing the game mechanics in your favor.
 The game's biggest hook, at the time, was Emerl, a little customizable Robot that can learn any move from any character. I bet that sounds awesome, and it could've been, in theory. But you need to grind Story Mode battles for customization points, which you do at incredibly low increments, and you also need to cross your fingers so that the move you covet is the one you get after a fight, because you need cards to equip Emerl with moves, and card acquisition is 100% random.
 As much as I dislike the game, it's only this low because nowadays, finally, dissenting opinions are becoming more vocal about it, thus vindicating me.

18) Super Mario Land

 You know me, I love me some good, olde 2-D Mario platoforming. But I hate Super Mario Land.
 Supposedly a system seller, this game is beloved by everyone, despite(Or perhaps 'because') it being so weird and different from other Mario games. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE WEIRD, but this game just... It isn't very good.
 The problem lies where most Mario games shine: Control. Mario is a slippery little bugger in this game, which made the game completely unenjoyable for me. Where's the fun in falling down because the controls simply aren't up for snuff? Mercifully, the game is rather short, so torture doesn't last for long.
 And I used to play the game when I was younger, so it's not just a matter of me holding up the game to today's standards, because I should have some nostalgia lingering for it. But it's not enough.

17) Grandia II

 I'm willing to grant the game the fact that I played the horrible PS2 port for my bad experience with the game, but it's not like a have a Dreamcast in my closet or that the PC version is easy to find, so if you want to experience Grandia II there aren't many options out there... although I think there was a PS4 rerelease.
 The game's story? Pretty decent, it has a few great characters. The gameplay? Great. But it's the huge amount of little things that add up that turn this game into a nightmare. The combat is strategic, with characters running around the field, and with the aid of a circular grind you can plan out your turns in order to avoid damage and interrupt enemy actions. But playable characters can be SO dumb, often times getting stuck running against each other, thus cancelling each other's attacks. And it's not like you can plan ahead HOW you characters will decide to get to their targets. Other times they'll simply decide to waste their second combo-attack on thin air, just because.
 But that's the least of the game's issues. How about the horrible frame-rate? Every SINGLE time you enter a new town, the camera has to give you a mini-tour of the entire area... at a sub 10 framerate counter. I'm not kidding. Exploring around can be annoying because of this, and EVEN battles aren't privy to this. And sometimes, if the game is feeling trippy, a character's textures may not load when you enter a battle.
 Grandia II, at least on the PS2 is a technical mess that only helps exacerbate the game's shortcomings. I'm sure the game could be a decent 7.0 out of 10 if it wasn't so broken. But this is the version of the game I get to play.

16) LittleBigPlanet (Series)

 I'm not the biggest fan of LittleBigPlanet. I played a bit of the PS3 version, but it was simply too floaty for me, and the three-planes thing was clunky, to say the least. The version I spent the most time with, and actually finished, was the PSP iteration... which I felt was just as bad. I grew up on platformers, Mario, Banjo, Circus Charlie, Milk and Nuts, Gex, Adventure Island... all manner of Platform games, all games I enjoyed throughout my life. Yet LittleBigPlanet just doesn't do it for me... which kinda sucks, considering how much praise this series tends to garner.

15) Fear Effect (Series)

 Among Playstation 1's most beloved niche games are the Fear Effect duology of games. Look, I can appreciate their dark stories and even darker characters, but the gameplay is just so clunky. Hitboxes are all over the place, swapping discs is cumbersome(In Fear Effect 2, each disc has two 'zones') and some of the puzzles are just annoying. I will never understand how these games managed to warm their way up people's hearts.

14)Killzone Liberation

 Killzone Liberation was so beloved that it managed to get into Sony's 'Platinum' and 'PSP Essentials' lines. And I hate it. I remember going online to see if everyone else thought the game was as bad as I did, but alas, my feelings were not validated. The story was so boring that I skipped most of it, melee is useless and aiming your guns is atrocious. It's also a very slow game, which goes against what I tend to enjoy: Fast arcade action. This game just didn't do it for me like it did for other PSP owners.

13)Twisted Metal Black

 You could fit the entire Twisted Metal franchise here, but I've only played this one and the one on PS3, so it didn't seem fair. I remember reading about Twisted Metal and its clones, like Vigilante 8, feeling very intrigued by them. And then I got a PS2 and eventually got my hands on Twisted Metal Black. And I hated it. The game was boring and unlocking stuff was a chore. And I get it, the game is meant to be played in multiplayer, since having the CPU gang up on you or ran away to heal as you try to kill it is always annoying. But I also played it in multiplayer(Well, with another player, but it still counts!) and I hated it. Years later I would try my hand at the PS3 reboot.... and it didn't fare much better.
 I don't get it. Are fans of the franchise always finding means to play this game with 3 other players instead of the Single Player modes? Because I just can't understand how people see any fun here.

12) Dragon's Crown

 I love beat'em ups and Vanillaware's artsyle. I also happen to hate Dragon's Crown. Featuring a hideous artstyle that meant to titillate players with the Amazon and the Witch, but only managing to create abominations that spit on the human form, looking at this game was anything but appealing, and the unnecessary fanservice made me facepalm every single time a female NPC was introduced.
 The gameplay doesn't help with anything, I remember that upgrading my Knight felt like such a let down, since every single skill sounded so lame. In RPGs leveling up is supposed to be rewarding, unlocking new abilities and skills is supposed to be something that you want to do and it feels great to do. Not in this game it isn't.
 The kicker? Having to use the right analog stick to direct a thief ally to unlock staff for you. Because I really want to wait doing nothing on a beat'em up, a game about bashing skulls. Dragon's Crown is one of the most unfun and overrated beat'em ups out there.

 11) P.T

 No game director is more overrated than Hideo Kojima, that is a fact. I quite feel like going on a tangent here about it, but I will restrain myself. And just like the creator itself, no 'game', if you can even call it that, is as overrated as PT.
 I played it. The puzzles were dumb and broke the fourth wall, which does the opposite of investing you on the game. It relied on cheap jumpscares that weren't even scary, and it's so short and dumb that I felt insulted some Youtubers would place it on their 'Top X games' of the year PT was released in. If you didn't get to play it, don't worry, it isn't worth it.

10)Dragon Ball Xenoverse

 Xenoverse marked the last time I got hyped for a Dragon Ball game. Everything looked so great, with tiny little details like characters using their legs to swim while underwater. And, truth be told, the graphics were pretty phenomenal. But the framerate, jesus christ, the frame rate. If there were more than two characters on screen, which was the rule and not the exception, the game's framerate would tank. Some parts of the game were nigh unplayable due to this.
 Granted, I was playing the horrible PS3 port... but even then, that doesn't fix the lack of menus(everything is done through the Hub town), poor local multiplayer options, lack of balancing, need to grind for stuff, a RNG for the RNG(The boss has an random chance to appear, and the drops of said boss have their own random chance to drop IF you defeat him), and a disappointing implementation of the character creation which meant that you had to dress for stats and not looks....
 I can understand why people can enjoy the game, if you think of it as a MMO, then it's alright. But I wanted a fighting game and this... wasn't.

9)Jump Ultimate Stars

 If you liked anime and had a DS during the mid 00s, then you definitely heard of Jump Ultimate Stars. I did, and somehow got around importing it, only to be let down by a game that wasn't everything it was made out to be.
 I think the language barrier had a lot to do with it, as finding the pieces I wanted for my deck was a bit more of a hassle than it needed to, since, well, I can't read Japanese. Speaking of decks, I can't say I was a fan of that either, I would've much preferred a straight-to-the point fighting game. The worst part about decks is that if you want to play as certain characters, you have to build your deck BEFORE jumping into the game, which is a bit annoying if you just want to play around with the cast, which, let's get real, is what everyone wanted, to play around with every character.
 The online community around it also left a lot to be desired, with a weird 'don't break out of combos' etiquette, and obnoxious 'farmers' that expected you to do nothing and wait for a game to end... and if you didn't know what they were meaning to do, they would gang up on you, making sure you earned the least amount of points. Pricks!

8) Mortal Kombat(Series)

 My first experience with the series was through a bootleg NES cart that I used to play over and over again when I was younger. And, somehow, I felt into the hype, I watched the movie and my parents got me a few figures and collectible caps. I loved Mortal Kombat. And when I was a bit older, but not THAT old, I got Trilogy on the N64 and I loved it, although not as much as MK4 once it came out. Deadly Alliance on the PS2 was dope too.
 But midway(Heh!) through the PS2 era I realized something... Mortal Kombat kinda sucks. The first four games were too simple, every character sharing punches and kicks, and the latter PS2 iterations had horrible character designs and animations. It wasn't a game you wanted to look at, and it seemed like the games got more and more uninspired as the series progressed. Deception introduced some of the worst character designs into the franchise, and Armageddon cut a lot of corners to make it work(Only 2 styles per character, some of the laziest and worst animations yet, no fatalities)... while, ironically, Shaolin Monks proved that the devs had talent, they were simply squandering it. As bad as Armageddon was,  the pinnacle of bad animation and character models would arrive with Mortal Kombat VS DC comics. Some of the worst animations can be found in Flash's wimpy shoves and flailing arms, or in Wonder Woman's horrible special attacks(Splitting her legs to... grab the enemy? A silly twirl?), and just look at how horrible Sonya's model is sculpted from the neck up, or at Kitana's tiny head. Mortal Kombat VS DC was one ugly chimera.
 But somehow, thanks to brand recognition alone, the series toiled on... and we got Mortal Kombat 9. Some character models were still ugly, some of the animations were still ugly... but the game was fun to play. Where I meant to arrive with all the diatribe above was.... Mortal Kombat sucked up until 9, since then Netherrealms has gotten better and better. I respect what the series turned into, but man, was it a bumpy road.

7) Wild Arms & Wild Arms Alter Code F

 Do you know what really gets under my skin? When people talk about classic RPGs on the PS1 and never, ever fail to mention Wild Arms 1 but not its sequels... or outright claim that the first one was the best. It wasn't.
 I was familiar with Wild Arms 2, a game I adored, and Wild Arms 3, one of my favorite JRPGs out there, before I gave Wild Arms 1 a chance, and needless to say, expectations were skyhigh, since people had the gall to claim that this game was superior to those two. What I got with Wild Arms 1 were flat characters and a combat system that lacked all the refinements and niceties of the sequels. There's no way, absolutely no way people can actually, really believe that this game beats its sequels, because it doesn't.
 And sooooooo I actually got around purchasing the excessively pricey remake, Alter Code F, which was meant to be Wild Arms 1 with all the niceties of the Wild Arms 3 engine. But they screwed that up too. There's pretty much no equipment, which makes exploration less rewarding, and there aren't as many skills to outfit characters with as there were in Wild Arms 3. Loading times are excessively high, the encounter rate is obscenely high and there's no simple way to replenish your mana and ammo counters, and... and there's a lot more I could say that I already said on my review. The remake is EVEN worse than the original game. But then again, I think most people prefer the original anyways.... because nostalgia. Which sucks, because the sequels, at least 2 and 3, are fantastic, and eclipse the first game in every single way possible.


6) Uncharted - Drake's Fortune

 Drake's Fortune is, easily, one of the sloppiest third person shooters I've ever played. The parkour is sloppy to the point of feeling like the game cheated me into dying. The shootouts last too long and enemies are damage sponges. And the worst part about it? There are QTEs... three of them, so few that you'll never be ready for them. I was flabbergasted at how terrible the game was after I finished it, so I asked around online boards if I was nuts or Uncharted 1 sucked... and the best I got was 'It was good for its time'. No, no it was not. I would've disliked the game as much had I played it at release. If anything, I'm glad the series continued, because every game that came afterwards was pure gold.

5) Hyrule Warriors Legends

 Alright, alright, I know that the 3DS version isn't the ideal way to play Hyrule Warriors, but hey, I loved Samurai Warrior 4-II on the Vita and had a blast with Samurai Warriors Chronicles on the 3DS. But it goes beyond that, anyone who has spent more than five minutes on this blog would know that I love the Warriors games with a passion. But I hate Hyrule Warriors.
 Much like Fist of the North Star - Ken's Rage 2, the game loves to stop me from having fun pummeling enemies. It brings up these annoying bosses that require you to use the correct item in order to get the chance to chip their health away. Generals are also kind of annoying due to needing items in order to expose their weaknesses at times. As a matter of fact, the entire concept of items in the game is needless fluff that's only there to give the game the most superficial appearance of depth it can. Warriors games don't need that, they don't need depth, they need to be fun.
 I think the worst part about Pirate Warriors 3, a Warriors game I loved, was developing characters through medals. Sadly, said mechanic was reused here, which makes for needless padding if you want to upgrade every character.
 The story mode is boring, the adventure game is a hassle, the gameplay is annoying... there's a reason I haven't finished the game yet, and thus reviewed it: It bores me to tears.

4) Halo - Combat Evolved

 If one game was massively overhyped, and changed FPS forever, it was Halo. And I just couldn't get into it. The first few alien monsters looked pathetic, it almost felt like I was playing a humorous game. I also failed to enjoy the guns Master Chief could find, none felt fun to use. The game was so boring, to me, that I stopped playing after I fell off a bridge while driving the Warthog.
 I'm sure that multiplayer was fun, there's got to be a reason why the game was so beloved, but as far as the Single Player mode went... it failed to arrest my attention. How can people take Halo's enemies seriously?! I will admit, however, that I did play a bit of Halo 2 on co-op and actually enjoyed it. But as for the first game? I'll pass it any day of the week.

3) Animal Crossing(Series)

 I swear I gave it a chance. I played the one on gamecube, I played the one on DS and I even played a bit of the one on the 3DS... and I can't for the life of me figure out what makes this game so much fun for other people. Hunting for bugs and fishing grows boring soon, collecting money is a chore and I can't say I see much fun in designing a house.
 There's not much else I can say besides that, I simply don't like Animal Crossing.

2) Kirby's Epic Yarn

 Oh boy, here we go. Kirby's Epic Yarn has always been a tough game to criticize, because anyone that dared imply the game was anything but perfect was a dull idiot that couldn't appreciate a game that dared to look cute.
 And it blows, because the best thing about the game is, precisely, its looks. But a few stages into the game it just stops doing novel things with the 'everything is made out of thread' theme, the cutest and smartest things lie in the first few stages, and it feels like developers forgot about the possibilities the theme brought later down the line. Not being able to die was the least of the game's problems, I'm a fan of Wario Land games, so this was nothing new to me.
 But what really sunk the game was how boring the gameplay was. Missing Kirby's trademark power-stealing powers meant that you'd quickly grow tired of Thread Kirby's limited moveset. And the game failed to keep things fresh, every single stage felt like going through the motions while turning my brain off, because there was nothing fun to do.

1) Xenosaga Series

 Not gonna lie, every time the Xenosaga games make it into a 'Top X RPGs' I die a little inside. I admit, the reason I may have disliked Xenosaga 1 so much was because I was expecting Xenogears 0, so I might had been extra disappointed. But that doesn't excuse the fetishistic use they gave KOS-MOS, the limited combat mechanics(Compared to Xenogears, and this is fair, because the combat takes up cues from said game) or how dull the mechs were.
 But Xenosaga II was a mess, everything that a game could get wrong, they got wrong. The female characters were further sexualized(Shion doesn't need glasses anymore because reasons!), Jr., the most annoying character EVER created took the lead role and the gameplay... boy, the gameplay was horrible. Equipment was removed entirely, so now every character had their own elemental affinity. You also had to keep in mind that only a few characters could place enemies under certain advantageous status for you, like 'Downed' or 'On air'... this meant that you had to switch up your party accordingly. Strategic? Yeah, maybe... but this also meant that I couldn't play with my favorite characters if I wanted, which really soured the experience for me, since I can't stand more than half of them. And you know you've done something wrong if random encounters are harder than boss fights.
 As for Xenosaga III... The gameplay was great, and they got to my heart by filling it with nods and references to Xenogears, but, sadly, the story was a nonsensical mess, filled with horrible inconsistencies.
 Luckily, Monolith-soft would go on to create Xenoblade, which was the successor we deserved AND needed.