Game #843: Elite Beat Agents

 Has there ever been someone with less rhythm than me? I think not!

 Elite Beat Agents is really hard man, even on the easiest difficulty setting, at least for someone like me who was born with no sense of rhythm whatsoever. It's really fun though, I can see why the game exploded in popularity.

 This is the game that made the "Tap/press the numbered buttons to the beat of a song" genre popular. And it's very addictive and fun, so I can fully understand why it became so popular. That said, as popular as it got, it's a bit weird why Nintendo never capitalized on their popularity.

 The game has covers of famous songs, but they are good covers. There are comic book vignettes before, during and after each song, and they are hilarious. Each stage has a song and a plot in which the Elite Beat Agents must help someone with some ridiculous task, such as a mother affect the weather itself in order to get a sunny day for her son, or a cat having to rescue a baby. Not only are the stories hilarious, the songs on the background make them so much more fun!

 The game has 19 songs, and I think I liked all of them. Each difficulty setting has a different Agent, which is just a cosmetic thing, but I think it's a nice little touch.

 8.0

Game #842: Lunar Knights

 Take me to the moon.

 Lunar Knights is yet another fun handheld Konami game, I mean, most of their GBA and DS games I played were pretty darn good and Lunar Knights is no exception.

 I liked the game's 2-D sprites, they are simple and undetailed but look neat. I hated Aaron's character design, however. Aaron and Lucian are pretty much Naruto and Sasuke rip offs. I know that Django, the Solar boy, used to be the protagonist, so I find it weird how Lucian, the moon dude, is more of a protagonist here. Oh, and in the original, Japanese version of the game, Aaron is called Django, but the localization just renamed everyone because why not.

 While I enjoyed the action and RPG elements of the game, I can't say I was any fond of the stealth sections. Thankfully, stealth is pretty much optional. I hate having to blow on the microphone to whistle and draw an enemy towards the sound. Oh, and falling down a bottomless pits is an instant game over, that sucks!!

 I liked the idea of playing as a duo of characters, but I stuck with Lucian most of the time since I liked his sword and simple Y 3-hit combo. I kept Aaron as a back-up, mostly, since he relies on guns and ranged combat, and can't attack if his energy meter is depleted, unlike Lucian. Thankfully, both characters earn experience points whenever you kill something. But, y'know what? The game offers an interesting variety of enemies that are better tackled with an specific hero, and as soon as both characters team up bosses start having gimmicks that revolve around switching characters.

 You may not know it from reading the title, but this is actually Solar Boy Django's fourth game, albeit it's more of a prequel. Was this game good enough to make me want to delve deeper into the franchise?.. I don't think so, not anytime soon. Plus, this game is pretty much self-contained.

 There's a surprisingly large amount of stuff to do! Beating a level is fine and dandy, but speaking to NPCs may sometimes unlock sidequests on previously explored stages. What's more, as you defeat bosses you unlock elemental spirits to coat your weapons with as well as the ability to visit a NPC and change the climate. Changing the climate may unlock alternate roads on stages towards goodies, while revisiting previously played stages with new elemental spirits may allow you to open up new roads, which might reward you with a few goodies... or entirely new dungeons. These optional dungeons is how you obtain Lucian's alternate weapons.

 There's quite a few things to like about Lunar Knights, and it's yet another fun handheld game by Konami. Man, Konami really had some golden franchises and solid titles back in the day, it makes it all the more depressing how they decided to shift their focus into Pachinko and Mobile.

 7.0

Game #841: Dead or Alive

 The origin of breast physics with minds of their own.

 Y'know, I played Dead or Alive, this one, way after I played Dead or Alive 2. It was really good, it is really good.

 The game has a 10-character roster made up of the series' classics, characters that never left the series, except for Bayman who disappeared on vanilla DoA 2. I like how the characters' designs hadn't been finalized by then, so we have things like brown-haired Tina and red-haired Zack. Heck, one of Ayane's costumes has her with pink hair. This game also started the trend of having their females have dozens of costumes while the males get scraps. Every lass has 14 costumes while every lad gets a measly 5.

 I really liked the bonus costumes, a lot of them are lazy repaints, but there are a ton of very cool looking costumes that never returned to the series.

 The game looks really good for a PS1 game, having 3-D models that are almost as soft as what you'd expect out of the Nintendo 64. I'd say they are a happy medium between Tekken 3's detailed, blocky models and Tobal's more simple but softer models. The breast physics are as dumb as you'd expect, with every breast having a mind of their own.

 Characters have a ton of familiar moves, I love how I felt right at home with this game. It goes to show just how great the gameplay was, because it has barely changed. Based off of Virtua Fighter, one punch button, one kick button and one guard button is all you need. It also has the very abusable counter move, back+guard, which adds a lot of almost cinematic flair to the fights.

 The PS1 has a ton of fighting games, a lot of great ones, a lot of bad ones, but Dead or Alive easily falls into the former. Gameplay is simple, fast and responsive, everything I look for in a fighter, but you also get a nice amount of content.

8.5

Game #840: Onrush

 It's not about rushing forward, but rather, rush through everyone else.

 The soundtrack is glorious, although the female narrator is so cringe inducing, poor lass was handled one of the most tryhard and dumb scripts ever made.

 If you want to customize your character and vehicle with new skins, oh boy, Onrush pulls a fast one on all of us offline warriors, because you NEED to go online to access the in-game store. LAME. To be fair, you can unlock a few paintjobs(Which actually change the vehicles' 3-D model) and what not, but I'm not sure of what you need to do in order to unlock them.

 I love how this isn't a racing game proper, oh no, it's a team based battle game with driving. You'll either have to amass points by using turbo and wrecking fodder vehicles as well as enemy team vehicles, go through gates to add seconds to your team's timer, and whichever team's timer runs out first loses, or "Switch", where you get 3 'switches' and on each switch, which happens after you crash, you can pick between a different set of two vehicles, losing all your Switches isn't a game over, you are simply stuck with two vehicles per respawn, the team that runs out of switches loses though. There's a fun take on king of the hill too. Your Buggy or Dirt Bike will get wrecked frequently, but you can respawn unlimited items in a few seconds. It's fast paced, it's arcadey and I really liked it.

 The game is definitely meant to be played with other people, which is why it sucks so hard how there's no offline multiplayer. The single player mode is lengthy enough, but it feels quite limiting, heck, most stages only let you pick between specific vehicles. Some sort of offline 'quickplay' on any game type would've done wonders for the Single Player content. Plus, it being a Team VS Team game means you are at the mercy of your AI allies.

 Lemme tell you what really blows about single player: Some events are Tournaments, made up of multiple sub-events. If you lose a sub-event, tough luck, gotta start from the beginning. But you can pause mid-race and pick "Restart" to restart the sub-event if it ain't going your way. The fun part? You can't pause the game when you are respawning(4 seconds long) or when you are forced to watch the replay of your death BEFORE the four second timer, so if you lose while you're respawning.... Sucks to be you. Hopefully you didn't lose on the last event.

 Having played the game strictly in single player, I got a bit tired by the time I reached the fifth(out of six) set of events. I had already played every mode, driven on every stage(And the new snow climate wasn't enough to make them feel any fresher) and I wasn't unlocking new vehicle skins to keep me interested. I only finished the game out of a misguided sense of completion for completion's sake.

 If you plan to play online, it's probably a great choice, but I'd think twice about getting the game just to play it offline. I had my fun, yes, but this game needed a offline multiplayer option.

7.0

Game #839: Marvel VS Capcom Infinite

 Should've saved this title for MvC 8.

 Marvel VS Capcom Infinite has a bad rep, but here and now I'm about to defend this game from scorned X-men fans, because dammit, it's a good game!

 Alright, so I really dug the new gameplay, not as much as MvC 3 mind you, but still. Which is quite curious considering I prefer MvC's 2 vs 2 over MvC 2's 3 vs 3, but whatever. Making combos is a zinch, and landing hits feels really good.

 I also dug the story mode, which received a lot of criticism, but I disagree and disavow it. It's short and dumb, just the way it should. I kept chuckling at how ridiculous and dumb the plot could get.

 The graphics are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be, and I really dug how beefy and chunky characters like Captain America and Black Panther looked. That said, some of the more human faces can look downright weird, like Dante's and Morrigan's. And as much as I dug these thick heroes, Haggar just doesn't look right. Still, I'll be the first to admit that the game should've gone for a cellshaded look, as this realistic style makes characters like Arthur and X stand out like sore thumbs.

 The roster is a huge mixed bag. Most people HATED this game because it didn't have the X-Men, which I think is ridiculous, and the Marvel side of this game is fine. The Capcom side however.... felt boring and safe. It doesn't help the fact that most characters return from MvC 3 and are pretty much identical to how they used to be. To add insult to injury, the game has a 30 character roster, less than base MvC 3, and even if you factor in the DLC characters we'd still be 2 characters short(if we take into account Shuma and Jill, otherwise they'd be matched). Although I'll admit that even though a lot of animations are recycled, most characters have at least one new move. All that said, I got to play as Jedah in 3-D, so I'm pretty satisfied, overall.

 I thought it was good, I thought it was fun. It's definitely not the best in the series, but it's still a fun time.

7.5

Review #838: Judgment

 I declare it guilty of being amazing.

 Judgment is Yakuza. It's a game that I'd hesitate to call a spin off, because, while it's an open-world beat'em up game, that is set in the very same town of Kamurocho, using the same engine and pretty much the same combat mechanics... it features none of the characters from Yakuza. Sure, the clan Tojo is here, and you might recognize a few very minor characters(ONO MICHIO-SAN!), this game is about an entirely different set of characters and a whole new set of problems.

 You play as Takayuki Yagami, a detective that used to be a lawyer... until the man he defended wound up murdering his girlfriend one month after Yagami managed to prove his innocence. Disillusioned with his own job and under a great amount of guilt, he left his profession to become a lawyer. This makes for an incredibly interesting main character. And it doesn't stop there, throughout this lengthy game Takayuki manages to surround himself with an endearing cast of characters that join him. There's Kaito, his partner in crime and an ex-Yakuza who is the muscles to Yagami's brains, there's Sugiwara, an ex-thief who has his own reasons for joining Yagami, Higashi, a Yakuza that respects Kaito, not to mention Hoshino, a rookie lawyer from Yagami's former firm, as well as Saori, another lawyer from the same firm. Every character gets his and her own time to shine, and since Yagami is not a Supreme God of Destruction, unlike Kazuma and most protagonists from the series, every character feels important. And it also made me wish I could play as the others! Look, I really liked Yagami, but his friends are just as great. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the villains, and they are a nice assortment of threatening bastards and dirty weasels.

 As for the game's plot, it begins with Yagami having to find evidence for a lawyer in order to defend a Yakuza in court from a murder he didn't commit. A murder that happens to be last in a series of brutal assassinations that leaves victims without their eyes. This game was made by the Yakuza team, so of course it ain't as simple as that, and the story pulls all sorts of twists and turns. To be honest, I think this is one of the best stories that have come out of the series, and the fact that we have an entire new set of characters and backgrounds means that they could explore narratives they couldn't with Kiryu and company, making for a very fresh story inside Kamurocho. I'll admit that anyone that has played Yakuza before will have an easy time figuring out which characters have are covered in plot armor and their "deadly wounds" are just for drama, but it's still a very intense and emotional story, I swear, it has a ton very powerful scenes that made the story so great. And it seems Sega of America had a lot of faith in the game's script, because they localized it twice! For the first time since Yakuza 1, you can play the game with a rather colorful dub... or you could go traditional, with the Japanese voice overs, and a more faithful set of subtitles. Necessary? Absolutely not. But it shows that even Sega of America put their A game with Judgment.

 As for the game... it's Yakuza. The entire game takes place in the city of Kamurocho, in which you have the ability to freely roam around, interacting with different minigames or stores, as well as battling thugs who don't know any better. There are a ton of sidequests you can partake in, as well as interact with specially designated NPCs that you can befriend by following their usually silly mini-story. Most of the mini-games from previous games return, however, it seems that the budget was either lower than usual or the famous actor that plays the main character was too expensive, because the hostess bars are gone as well as the Karaoke mini-game, the latter one actually stings a bit since Karaoke's been one of the best parts about Yakuza. I'll die on that hill. As for the Arcade machines, Virtual-On was replaced with Fighting Vipers.

 Takayuki is an interesting fighter because he has two styles he can switch between: Crane and Tiger. Crane is built around fight crowds while Tiger works great for single enemies. And, y'know, at first that's true, but for whatever reason Tiger has a lot of unlockable moves, while Crane has none, thus Tiger becomes way more powerful and way more useful, with Tiger you can even unlock a very powerful, timing based attack('Flux') in which you let go of the attack button at the right time for massive damage. There's a Heat gauge, now called EX, that builds as you land and receive damage, which can be used to pull off EX moves(Super moves) or enter EX Mode, in which you can dodge-cancel your attacks, as well as become faster and stronger. With a few upgrades in tow you can also get brutal Triangle-mashing attacks for both styles. One thing to keep in mind, although only for random fights that happen outside of the main story and side story missions, is that Takayuki follows the law, so if you take too long in a fight the police will come and arrest you! I played the entire game in normal and the police never came, but it is something to be wary of. Overall, I'd say the combat is a step forward within the Dragon Engine, Takayuki is very nimble and flashy, which can take a bit of time getting used to since Kiryu was more straightforward with his fighting style, but once you get used to Tak's animations it becomes as fun, and I'd say even more fun, as always. If there's something to complain about is that enemies have a knack for blocking your attacks mid-combo, making your attacks bounce off and leaving you open for their counterattack, which isn't very nice.

 Mortal Wounds is a gimmick that will probably annoy a few people, I didn't care too much about it to be honest. Y'see, Yagami is no Kiryu, thus getting hit by a boss' super move or by a gun(Even if shot by a common enemy) will reduce Yagami's maximum life points, and there are only two ways to heal this damage: Using a medikit, which is rare and/or expensive, or going to the underground doctor for a check-up, which is slightly less expensive. I felt like this mechanic added nothing to the game, although I'll admit it made me learn to respect a boss once it entered it's powered up phase, but I also didn't feel like it was too annoying. That said, I'm a bit of a completionist so I had money to spare most of the time and if I was unlucky I'd have to visit the doctor every time I started a new chapter, since I probably got a few mortal wounds on the previous chapter's boss.

 Side content is when the game falters a bit. As per usual, side stories is where most of the silly, ridiculous and sometimes slightly offensive humor resides and... they are fine. I laughed out lough a couple of times. But... Takayuki is a detective, and they had to build that into the game. Moments in which you have to examine crime scenes or whatever are fun. Moments in which you have to present evidence or find a person that matches a description? All of them are fun and make sense. You even get a nifty little drone you can fly around, fly in races or sometimes use it to take photo-evidence from places you can't reach. And all of this is fine. But, and it's a huge but, the game has an excruciating amount of poorly made tailing sections. They are SO slow. A few days ago I complained about Ghost of Tsushima's, but boy, I didn't know how good I had it. So, not only are they slow and boring, but it's also ridiculous how dumb they are, you can pretty much run up to your objective's face and as long as the gauge above the screen isn't full they won't recognize you. They are so silly too, because your objective will sometimes walk around in a circle around a block because why not waste your time, or sometimes you'll go through a huge chunk of Kamurocho, slowly walking behind them, only to end up close to were you started. Man, I HATED tailing missions. There's a new lockpicking minigame, which is actually fun, but there's also a mini-game of... sorts in which, sometimes, when approaching a door, it will be locked, and you have to pick the right key. There's no penalty for picking the wrong key besides wasting time, and there's no thought process behind picking the right key. It's just there because I don't know.

 As good as the combat in this game is... man, it's the story that really makes it stand out. It was so amazing that every time a new development happened I forgot all about the horrible tailing missions. If this game didn't have those segments this could've easily become my favorite game in the series. Still, what this game manages to prove, as if Binary Domain didn't already, that the Ryu Ga Gotoku Team are still capable of producing exciting and interesting stories outside their comfort zone. And yes, you could argue that this game still features Yakuza, and it does, but trust me, it's a very different tale.
 8.5 out of 10

Review #837: Loaded

 Lock and load, baby.

 While this was the first time I've ever played Loaded, I was actually quite familiar with the game's sequel, Re-Loaded, because when I was a kid, whenever we went to this particular store I'd always spend time looking at PC games, so I'd always come across the PC version of Re-Loaded, and, of course, the comic-book like art always piqued my interest. But I digress, this is about the first game in the duology, so onward and forward.

 Loaded is a top-down twin-stick shooter that released before the PlayStation go its analog sticks, so... yeah, I'll delve a tiny bit deeper into the controls later, for now what you need to know is what the game is. You get to pick between 6 different freaks(More like 5 freaks and 1 'hot' babe, it was the 90's, whatcha gonna do?) and I've got to say, I love the game's art. I love the official art, which looks straight out of a magazine such as 2000 AD, and I love how the game itself looks, having simple 2-D sprites over simple, crude 3-D environments. Each character has a different basic gun, a different bomb as well as different durability and speed levels, so they do feel somewhat different. The game is 15 levels long and it can be played with another player, which is pretty neat. Oh, and the sountrack is phenomenal, heavy rock all the way through, and it fits SO well.

 So how does a twin-stick shooter play without analog sticks? Well... it tries. X shoots wherever you are looking at, and you can hold L1(Or any button, since controls are 100% customizable) to strafe. My hands got cramps after a while when playing this game, something no other game managed to pull in recent memory. Enemies are vicious and love to swarm you while rotation around you, but most of the time, running while strafing and shooting backwards worked really well. When the game is at its best, it is AMAZING. Rock music blaring around you, exploding enemies into chunky showers of blood while the framerate struggles to keep up the pace.... it feels SO good. Yes, the framerate tends to tank a lot in this game, but in a game this hectic it kinda works in its favor. Again, when you are clearing entire rooms of enemies that are shooting at you at the same time... it looks glorious, and the slowdown makes it feel more epic.

 Sadly, the game isn't at its best most of the time. Levels are very... 90's PC game, very Doom. It's a labyrinthine set of corridors and rooms that require you to find the right key to progress. There's a map in the game, but it's useless because it's actually a mini-map, so you'd better remember where you found the blue keycard door. Oh, and you have to choose between the minimap or your ammo/life gauges, toggling between them by pressing circle. While the game is so unbelievably fun when you are blasting enemies, it turns into a boring lull when you are running through empty corridors looking for the door you missed or the door you can now open. A few levels actually have infinite enemies, which also get a bit annoying, particularly because you can actually run out of ammo, turning your gun into a weak pea shooter. And yeah, the game is on the tough side, even the easiest difficulty setting, 'Gamers are Fairies'(It was the 90's...) can get quite tough.

 Loaded is alright. I think it's worth a look for those that are curious, but it's easy to see why it never became a household name. And, in the game's defense, it can be a whole lot of fun, like grin-inducing fun, it's a shame that it has so many moments of aimless searching for doors that totally kill the pace and momentum the game game's best moments attained.
 6.5 out of 10