Review #583: Nintendo 64 Memories: Chameleon Twist

 Slimy tongue action.

Part 1: The Flashback
 Ah, Chameleon Twist, one of the first N64 games I purchased. I hadn't even rented it first, but I liked the cover and that was enough for young lil me. I LOVED this game, with capital letters. I used to play as Fred, every day, every time.

 I had completely forgotten about the VS Battle Mode, but as soon as I entered the stage select and then all the memories came flooding in: I actually played the VS mode, and I actually enjoyed it. I don't remember against who I played it, however.

Part 2: Today
 It's bad. I can applaud the game for its creativity with the mechanics, using the tongue is great fun, it's just so enjoyable twirling and twisting it around in order to eat every you can. And those that avoided your tongue can simply be done with by shooting the aforementioned eaten enemies.

 You also get to use your tongue in order to vault or make your way to a pole over a pit, as a matter of fact, once your tongue snaps to a pole, your character will fly directly towards the pole, following whatever twisted form you shot your tongue in, but at any time you can press the A button to spin around it... something you can only do once and your chameleon will instantly let go after you let go of the A button or you complete a 360 spin. This could've lent itself to some fun platforming, and it was fun when I was a kid, but stage 5, Kid's Land, is a perfect example of how wonky it can be. Being limited to a single spin sucks, and you have get the right length of distance between yourself and the pole in order to perform the necessary spins onto moving platforms. Great on paper, annoying in practice. I think more freedom, like being able to continue your way towards the pole after spinning or being allowed multiple spins, could've helped alleviate it.

 There's a bunch of collectible crowns peppered throughout all six stages, but they do pretty much nothing, albeit if you collect 50 of them you can enter a bonus billiards game on stage 6. There're only six stages, you only need to play 3 of them and you can finish all six stages in little more than an hour.

 Still, the game's biggest issue is the camera. There are two modes: Static and Dynamic, both suck. Static has horrible angles, and pressing the C buttons moves the camera but on the same fixed angle, which won't help you any, while Dynamic moves all over the place and can be a chore to get it to move how you want it to when you need it most. The camera kills most of the enjoyment you can get out of the game. Thank god for infinite lives.

 Despite how much I lambasted the game... I think it's still worth a look, if only because of how original it is. Your mileage may vary on how fun the mechanics are, but I think anyone would get a kick out of fooling around with your Chameleon's tongue. At least for a couple of minutes.
 4.5 out of 10

Review #582: Klonoa - Door to Phantomile

 A $150 classic.

 Klonoa on the PS1 is more than just a 2.5D platform game, it's an investment. Having become a bit of a rarity nowadays, Klonoa commands a hefty price, and, as luck would have it, it just might be one of Playstation's best platforming games.

 As with other, future Klonoa games, the story is a bit hard to decipher, but it amounts to Klonoa and Huepow, a round, sprite-like entity that inhabits Klonoa's wind ring, are the best of friends and on a day like any other come to find out about Glahdius and Joka, two miscreants up to no good. Klonoa is a good pupper-thing, so of course he jumps at the opportunity to stop them. The story will take them through 6 worlds, 2 stages each, as they go through the various lands of Phantomile. Something I did not see coming was the game's tone, it's not as whimsical and quirky as Klonoa 2, but rather, bittersweet, with a plot that isn't afraid to delve into some rather depressing themes. I think this is the first time I can say that I enjoyed the plot of a Klonoa game.

 By now you know the drill, Klonoa is a simple game with two basic mechanics: Jumping and Capturing. With one button Klonoa jumps and with the other one he shoots a wind bullet a few meters in front of him, any enemy that gets hit by it gets captured by Klonoa, who can then use it as a platform to perform a second jump upon or as a projectile. The entire game is built upon using both mechanics in increasingly more complex situations, just as jumping from enemy to enemy or figuring out how to use enemies in order to reach a certain part of the level.

 The game's puzzles are never as complex as they would get in future installments, but I can appreciate the simplicity. While Klonoa can take 6 hits in this game, as opposed to 3, this game definitely felt more challenging than Klonoa 2 or Klonoa Advance 1. I think that while the other games tried to come up with more interesting puzzles, this one was content with putting your platforming skills to the test, so it's not as much about figuring puzzles, but rather, having to overcome platforming sections with challenges that can kill you if you don't have the ability or reflexes needed.

 Klonoa isn't worth the $150(And upwards!) price it commands nowadays, but then again, which game does? Despite that, and sadly, Klonoa- Door to Phantomile is a fantastic game filled with charm and fun gameplay. If you ask me, I think Klonoa 2 is a teeny, tiny bit better and cheaper, so it's a better alternative, but it's not like it's a complete substitute, as both games have slightly different flavors. The game is a bit short, probably around 4-5 hours long if you try to collect everything and unlock the bonus stage, so you might want to think twice about taking the plunge with this one, even if the game is oozing quality.
 9.0 out of 10

Review #581: Klonoa 2 - Lunatea's Veil

 Jump and grab.

 Klonoa 2 is the cutest platformer you'll ever play. This is a 2-D platform game that keeps it simple and fun all the way through, which will test your proficiency with two things: Jumping and Grabbing.

 The story is a nonsensical mess. Klonoa appears in a dream world, Lunatea, and gets assaulted by two mysterious characters, but as luck would have it, Lolo, a priestess, and her pet-friend aid Klonoa in defending himself, by restoring Klonoa's Wind Ring's powers. What follows... is a silly, nonsensical story about Klonoa and friends trying to ring some bells before the shadowy characters destroy Lunatea. Some people might read to much into the story and how it's supposed to be an allegory about Klonoa dealing with the first game's aftermath, but I think that's giving it too much credit. What I can say, however, is that the game is beautiful, and the world of Lunatea and its inhabitants are a colorful, creative and quirky bunch. It's a pleasure just to look at this game. That said, while they can be skipped, the game has too many cutscenes for what amounts to a very uninteresting story.

 The game is entirely in 3-D, but you play on a 2-D plane, with the game being as simple as simple can be. One button jumps and the other one shoots the wind bullet a few steps in front of Klonoa. Any enemy hit by the wind bullet will get capture by Klonoa, and then he can use them as projectiles or as platforms to get a second jump from. The entirety of the game is based upon these two mechanics, with puzzles coming in the form of figuring out how to use enemies and their quirks. For instance, electric enemies can be used for a electrified dash upwards that breaks anything on top of Klonoa. Yellow enemies change color upon hitting other enemies, and you must figure out the correct order to hit enemies so that you get the correct color to break the right obstacle. It's delightfully simple, and the game makes excellent use of its mechanics, always having some new obstacle that requires a bit of thinking. Enemies respawn upon death, so you can't get stuck if you mess up.

 Bosses are very interesting, as you need to figure out how to damage them. Each boss has two different phases to go through. Interestingly, after getting hit every enemy will enter a counterattack motion, but if you're savvy enough you can actually hit them out of it! Bosses were surprisingly fun to defeat thanks to that. Another thing the game gets props for is how well the difficulty was handled, early stages are fairly easy, but they get progressively tougher in a very linear fashion. The game also features a few snowboarding/waterboarding stages that I really didn't care too much about.

 Klonoa 2 is a beautiful game that makes expert use of its two core mechanics. The puzzles and platforming challenges are different enough that they don't feel repetitive, and the game's short length may aid in that. Anyone that enjoys a good platform game will have a blast with Klonoa 2.
 9.0 out of 10

Review #580: Die Hard Trilogy

 Bad games... die hard.

 What's better than one game? Three games. That was the mindset behind Die Hard Trilogy's weird conception. One game representing every movie, with a different genre each. While I can sorta see how the game could've been good at the time of its release, as someone with no nostalgia for it,  nowadays it's less than acceptable.

 The first game, Die Hard, is based on the first movie and is a third-person shooter in which you, as John McLane, must get to the top of the Nakatomi Building. The game is 19 stages long, with about 6 bonus stages, in which you must clear the entire floor of enemies before being allowed to proceed. You can also rescue hostages for bonus points or find weapons, with limited ammo, hidden throughout the various offices. The game is fairly easy to pick-up and play, and it can be sorta fun, at times.

 Where does it go wrong? Controls are somewhat clunky, with side-stepping and side-rolling being too slow to be any useful. That said, you can use the mini-map to your advantage, and if you're planning on beating this mode you'll need to, in order to shoot at enemies from distances that go beyond their line of sight. Picking up items is sorta weird too, since first you have to walk over the container, upon doing so said container will break open and then you can pick up your bonus weapon. After clearing a room of enemies you have to find the elevator with the bomb in under 30 seconds, lest you have to redo the entire stage. Fun. I always managed to get in on time, but a few times I cut it dangerously close. The biggest issue, however, is how repetitive the game is, and to add to said repetition is the fact that the game reuses a lot of floors. It's a boring game that outgrows its welcome very early on.

 Die Hard 2 is a first-person on-rails shooter, and is easily the most fun out of the 3. Environments offer a lot of interactivity, letting you kill innocents or destroy stuff just for kicks. The game is 7 stages long and, in my opinion, the stages went on for a little longer than I would've liked.

 Die Hard with a Vengeance is a racing game, and it's the least fun of them all. In every stage, sans the bonus stages, you have to follow your compass in order to hit a bomb and prevent it from exploding. The vehicle controls like butt, so don't even think about it: Use the infinite lives cheat. Trust me. This game also suffers due to how repetitive it is. A few environments are recycled, and I was tired of the bonus round the third time I was forced to play it.

 Die Hard Trilogy is underwhelming at best and dull at worst. There's not much else left for me to say about the game. Clunky gameplay throughout tied with a very repetitive nature that does it no favors. That said, there're some redeeming qualities with the second game that might entertain someone for a few minutes. If you didn't grow up with it, I'd suggest skipping it entirely.
 3.0 out of 10

Mario Kart 1 through 8

 Well, having played every Mario Kart, it was 'bout time to rank them.


8)

 I'm always baffled by how people might prefer Super Mario Kart over the other, better, games. But I guess I can understand it, they grew up with it, I didn't. The CPU cheats by having access to items the player doesn't, the stages are as flat as the items laying on top of them and I hate having the screen perpetually divided with the map. Super Mario Kart is just no fun when you compare it with future games that would featured multi-layered tracks that just weren't possible on the SNES.

7)

 Mario Kart Super Circuit was the first Mario Kart to feature retro tracks, and that was a great bonus for when you were done with the game for the first time. I didn't expect to like Super Circuit as much as I did when I first played it, but it suffers from the worst drawback that Super Mario Kart had: Flat stages. It's the hardware's fault, yes, but it does put it behind the games that were to come, games with much more interesting track designs.

6)

 I came late to the party when it came to Mario Kart Double Dash, and that probably colored my impression negatively. The double-driver mechanic was a bit half-baked, but I really liked the concept behind characters having exclusive power-ups. I also felt disappointed with the track selection, since I had played most of them before via retro-tracks! That said, I guess it speaks to the game's quality how most of its stages have already been remade!

5)

 Yes, Mario Kart 64 was my first experience with the series. And I found it boring to death! Seriously, I remember enjoy Diddy Kong Racing much, much more than this one. Luckily, my tastes grew up with me and I learned to enjoy Mario Kart 64, even if it took me a few years. All the tracks are very memorable, and I found the 2-D sprites on 3-D stages fairly charming. Plus, Wario's first playable appearance in the series!!

4)

 Mario Kart 7 was a fun but somewhat disappointing entry into the series. Gliding and underwater racing felt so barebones, they removed bikes, the new tracks were a bit forgettable(But man, were the retro tracks  fantastic picks!) and the character roster was weird, to say the least. Luckily, gameplay was pretty fun, and kart customization added a new layer of depth to the game. I can't forgive the lack of VS CPU random-racing though, something that killed my enjoyment of the game.

3)

 Mario Kart Wii was phenomenal. The new tracks as well as the retro tracks were fantastic, the addition of bikes was fantastic and the character roster was massive(For its time). It had a lot of modes, and a surprising amount of stuff to unlock. Motion controls were optional, for the most part, and it introduced the ability to get a boost from a jump, which I believe added more interactivity, and fun, to the game. Proof of this being the fact that this feature made it over every other subsequent game.
 I've fond memories of playing online, and having the option of taking another local player with you in online matches. Mario Kart Wii was a blast, through and through, and it's one of the best games in the series.

2)

 For a long, loooooooooong while, Mario Kart DS has been my favorite entry in the franchise. It was the first game to have proper Retro tracks(Super Circuit only had the SNES tracks), and boy, was it a treat to tread on nostalgia like that! The gameplay was fast and frantic, the courses were brilliant(C'mon, Bowser's Ship stage is, probably, the best course in the entire series) and the character roster had a ton of interesting surprises, like Drybones and R.O.B. the robot!.
 While Kart customization wasn't a thing, yet, the game had a ton of different vehicles, way more than Double Dash, and they were as creative as they were fun. The game was the first to have Online, even if it was full of cheaters, and you could draw your very own emblem, which was a fun diversion. Lastly, it's the only Mario Kart game with a 'Mission Mode', full of different objectives and what not. Mario Kart DS was the full package and then some.

1)

 Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is brilliant. It has fantastic gameplay and a massive amount of content to go through. The new tracks are fantastic, and I never knew I wanted a racing crossover between Nintendo franchises until Link and the Inklings were brought in. I don't know when was the last time that the latest entry in a franchise was also the best, but dammit, does Mario Kart 8 deliver by building into what worked so well and adding a bunch of things that we didn't even know we wanted, like the Renegade Round-up mode or the crossovers with other Nintendo franchises.

Review #579: Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

 Easily comes in first across the finish line.

 It's a weird occasion when the latest in a long-running series also manages to be the best. But Nintendo did it, Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is the best game in the franchise they have released yet, mixing fine-tuned mechanics with a meaty amount of content that makes other Mario Kart offerings seem paltry in comparison.

 If you've ever played a Kart racer before you know what to expect: It's you against 11 other opponents on a track, and you can grab power-ups throughout the track in order to make your way to the first place. As per usual you get 50cc, 100cc, 150cc and Mirror Mode(A harder 150cc) which translates into how fast the vehicles will move and how challenging the CPU will be. But there's a new 200cc mode, which, in my opinion, is little more than a novelty, since karts move so fast it's almost unplayable. But, hey, it has its fans! The usual game modes also return: Grand Prix, in which you compete in 4-course competitions, Time Trials, in which you try for better times in a single track, VS race(Yes! VS CPU returns, so you can play random courses against CPUs) and Battle Mode. Battle Mode consists of different sub-modes: The usual balloon battle, in which you try to explode your enemies' balloons by hitting them with items, Coin Runners, in which you attempt to grab the most coins while under a time limit, Renegade Roundup, AKA cops and robbers, in which a team of cops tries to capture the other team(It's really fun!), Shine Thief, in which you try to hold on to the Shine for the most time, and Bobomb Blast, which is exactly what it sounds like. Lastly, every mode but Time Trial can be played with up to four players. Nifty!

 By now, you're probably used to having 4 cups and 4 retro cups, for a total of 32 total courses. But Mario Kart 8 Deluxe includes all the DLC from the original release on the Wii-U, which adds 4 more cups for a total of 48 different courses. That's a massive amount of stages, but you also get a massive 42 character roster to pick from. And then there's the fact that you can customize your kart, or bike, with a ton of different bodies, tires and gliders. There's a ton of stuff to see and do in this game, so it should keep you busy for quite a while. That said, almost everything but a Metal Mario variant and most kart customization parts are unlocked from the get-go, which might disappoint a few people, albeit I'm sure I'm not the only one that found it boring to start from 50cc and work my way up.... that said, I'll admit that I went all the way up through 50cc in order to amass coins to unlock vehicle parts.

 Now then, as for the tracks themselves, I'd say that pretty much every new original track is fantastic. Retro tracks however... weren't the greatest of picks. I think it's understandable, since Mario Kart 7 pretty much got the best retro tracks and there weren't as many good picks left. That said, it's not like the retro tracks are bad, far from it, and it's got a few great ones, like DS' Cheep Cheep beach. Plus, every single SNES/GBA rework is a 10 outta 10.

 While Mario Kart has always flirted with crossovers, like featuring the Blue Falcon as a customization part, but 8 went full-in. Link, the Villager, Isabelle and the Inklings are playable characters, there are Zelda, Animal Crossing and Splatoon vehicle parts alongside tracks representing them. There're also one Excitebike track and two F-Zero tracks as well as the mandatory Blue Falcon vehicle part. I didn't know I wanted it, but it's about time Nintendo went the way of Smash Bros. with Mario Kart, bring in Kirby, Pokemon, what have you!

 I went on and on with what's in the game, but not how it plays. Basically, it builds upon Mario Kart 7. Underwater racing is still a thing, albeit I think they did a better job this time around, with many tracks having two routes to pick from, gliding is back again, and there's more of it than before, so it doesn't feel as gimmicky. The new 'thing' is gravity-defying racing, every now and then you'll go over skyblue marks over the track, upon which you'll stick on the track, whether it twirls or twists. Honestly, they got gliding and underwater SO good in this game, since most of the time they amount to alternate routes, that the gravity thing felt fairly underwhelming. Most of the time you won't even realize that you are driving over other parts of the track, that said, this mechanic doesn't add or subtract from the game, it's just there.

 The item selection is pretty similar to the one in Mario Kart 7, but they did away with the raccoon tail, which arguably sucked, and added a piranha plant, which is a less-sucky-but-still-sucky version of the tail and the Horn, a power up of massive destruction.... that can actually destroy the blue shell. As per usual, holding a drift for a while will reward you with a turbo, and in Mario Kart 8 it can go up to a third level. This version of Mario Kart introduces a few more optional tweaks for newbies, such as auto acceleration and an option that slows you that does it's best to keep you on-the-road. It's a good helper, and I actually used it to finish 200cc, but it prevents you from using shortcuts, so it's a good trade off so that you can't rely on it.

 If there's one complaint I have with the game, and it's one that carries over from Mario Kart 7, is that there's no 'Retry' option. While this game doesn't feel as luck-based as previous Mario Kart games, it's still possible to have a bad-luck streak in which you get hit by everyone and their dogs, so the ability to retry a race mid-Grand Prix would've been a blessing. But there's not. If you get screwed out of first place, and thus out of the three-star ranking, you have to retry the entire Cup, which is a major downer. This was an option in some of the previous games, so it's baffling why they haven't addressed it yet. Mario Kart Super Circuit had a 3-retry limit, and it'd be a fair option.

 Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is the perfect mix of quality and content, featuring the largest amount of tracks, characters and modes in a Mario Kart games, as well as some of the finest tuned mechanics the series has ever had. It also features tweaks so that even people that aren't very good at racers can have fun with it. If you ask me, this is the best mascot racer you can get.
 9.5 out of 10

Review #578: The Legend of Zelda - Breath of the Wild

 Breathtaking.

 The Legend of Zelda franchise carries quite a pedigree, despite their resistance to change. Sure, the art direction may change, but the core of the games remain the same all throughout its history. And then came Breath of the Wild which is quite the breath of fresh air.

 The story... is there. Somewhat. The game begins with Link waking up inside a mysterious shrine, and, thanks to a voice in his head, manages to get outside, only to catch the attention of a mysterious old man who begins preparing Link to brave the wilds. It's told so soon that it's barely a spoiler, but it turns out that Link was gravely injured in a fight against Ganon, and now, 100 years later, he finally wakes up in the Shrine of Resurrection. Ganon has won, mostly, but now Link must set out to destroy Ganon and save Zelda. The set-up is fairly original for the franchise, and there's a rather colorful cast of characters... which sadly don't get much development. Most backstory is optional, which comes in the form of 12 memory fragments that you can find in order to joggle Link's memories. So, characters from the past don't get much screen time, which kinda sucks since they seemed like an interesting bunch, but their modern-day successors too suffer from lack of depth. I'd have loved to have Link's present-day sidekicks to take part in the final assault against Ganon, or get some sort of epilogue... but sadly, this game isn't about story.

 Breath of the Wild is a massive game. Hyrule is enormous, and as soon as you get all your tools, you're free to explore it in any way you want. Your first task in the game is to heed the old man's advice and travel to four different shrines, which you can tackle in any order, as the game teaches you about exploration: How Link has a stamina meter that gauges how much he can climb or swim before falling. How you can interact with the environment, cutting down trees, taking fruit from trees, cooking elixirs and food when you find a campfires, and having to be wary of Link's temperature, either drink a cool-resisting/heat-resisting elixir or wear the appropriate clothes. In each shrine you'll find a different rune, this Zelda's versions of your tools, Remote-controled Bombs, to break stuff, Magnesis, to manipulate metallic objects, Cryogenesis, to create pillars of Ice on water and, finally, Stasis, which locks an object(And, eventually, enemies too) in place for a short while. These runes will be your main tool in solving puzzles throughout the entire game, no more Hookshot or iron-boots here!

 And then, after clearing all four shrines, the old-man will give you the paraglider, a tool you can use to safely hover over the air... as long as your stamina holds on. Each Shrine also rewards you with an orb, and you can trade four orbs at any of the Goddesses' statues for a heart container or a stamina upgrade. Thus, the introduction to the game ends, and now you can do the game in any order you wish. There are four main dungeons in the game to clear... and you can tackle them in any order. Would you rather explore Hyrule and climb every tower first, in order to unlock instant-travel options and the complete map? You can do that too. Or maybe just focus on finding all 120 shrines in order to fully upgrade Link? That too. That was my prerogative, as I wanted to unlock the Master Sword first, which requires 13 hearts. If you think all of this is a hassle, that's fine, just go battle Ganon. If you're good at dodging and using your bow, you can fight him right from the get-go, no need to even set foot in Kakariko Village and initiate the main quest. There's over 100 sidequests too, if that's your thing, and VERY few of them have any pre-requisite before you can engage them.

 All this freedom is very refreshing, while Ocarina of Time was a very linear game, it brought me back to how that game made me feel when I was younger, and how Hyrule Field felt endless and full of possibilities. No two playthroughs will ever be the same. The game manages to even out the difficulty by tying your power to your weapon, so if you want to explore a tougher area.... just defeat one of the enemies there and grab its weapon, now if you've a good defense you'll be able to stand against any enemy encounter. That said, the game is on the tough side, like, very tough. You'll have to bring your A game here if you want to succeed. Not even upgraded armors can protect you from tough enemies. Thankfully, the auto-save system is very lenient, so you'll be able to retry battles until you get them right.

 The freedom in how you do things goes hand in hand with Link's mobility: He can climb pretty much on anything as long as you've stamina to spare. This limit, your stamina, became my biggest drive to find alternate ways to get to where I wanted. Honestly, since I was focusing on getting Health containers to pick up the master sword, I neglected Stamina until later in the game, so I had to be crafty with how I'd get where I wanted to go. Sometimes it's all about going around a tall hill... or climbing in the right angle so that Link can put his feet down and recover stamina while on a slope! That said, as fun as exploration was, nothing, NOTHING could ruin your day harder than rain... and storms. Rains make everything slippery, so if you're trying to climb a mountain, or one of the various Assassin's Creed-inspired scout-towers... you'll fall. So either wait until the rain stops or go do something else. Annoying. It could also happen that you're trying to do a quest that involves fire, and now you're outta luck too. Storms are just as bad as rain, but with the added annoyance of thunders raining down of you if you've got anything out of metal equipped.... although it can be an asset if you throw a metallic weapon against a group of enemies and watch chain-lightning do its stuff on them.

 So, if the game was just exploration it'd be a 10/10 GOTY. 8/10 on a rainy day. But fighting also takes up a big portion of the game, and it's alright... with a few caveats. Link's basic actions are slashing, block and parrying, and you can also use your bow and any of the various elemental arrows to shoot from afar. So far, so good. There's a decent variety of armors to equip on Link, most which you can dye for added customization, and Link is so frail in this game that you'll rather do your best to upgrade them as much as you can. So, what's the kicker? Swords, Shields and Bows... break. This means that you shouldn't get attached to any one piece of equipment because it will break, and rather often too. To be fair, pretty much every enemy is carrying a weapon, so if you lose a weapon defeating an enemy, at least you'll get another one back. But this means that you'll be avoiding combat with weaker enemies since you don't want weaker weapons or want to break your good weapons. Which is a bit counter-productive since you really want enemy loot. Since pretty much everything breaks, this also means that most quest-rewards are pretty much trash unless they are an armor piece.

 Add to this the fact that Link's inventory starts out pretty small. You can extend it for an increasingly higher amount of Korok Seeds, of which there are 900 hidden all throughout Hyrule, but this can take a while. In my case, I just focused on upgrading my Melee-Weapon inventory and getting the Master Sword, the only weapon that never truly breaks... but has a 10-minute cool-down after its 'power' depletes. I hated the durability system. And it had a pretty easy fix: Have Diablo-style weapons, with different affinities, elements, speeds and what have you, so that the player has to pick and choose. Maybe carry a hammer to break minerals. And you'll also want at least one weapon made out of wood in case there's a storm, etc. Much better than weapons breaking, even though, to be fair, I never once ran out of weapons.

 As stated before, there're four main dungeons... which are actually four mechanical beasts that must be freed from Ganon's corruption. These are a far cry from dungeons of old, being simple puzzle-ridden areas in which you must activate 5 terminals and fight a boss. That said, there's a small twist here... you can change the layout of the dungeon a bit, and you'll have to in order to get to every terminal. For example, you can change how the bird-dungeon is angled and thus affect slopes. You can rotate three cylinders, which make up a beast's innards, in order to to move into different rooms or platforms, etc. Clearing each dungeon, and defeating its boss, will give Link a new power. The Zora's being the most useful, being a instant-revive. But you can also get things like a free parry, from the Goron Dungeon, or the infinitely useful fly-jump from the Rito dungeon. These powers run on a cooldown, so you can't just abuse them.

 With that out of the way, another issue with the game is how hard money was to come by. The best way to earn money is by selling stuff... but you also need stuff in order to upgrade your armor at Fairy Fountains. You also need stuff to cook for food, in order to heal yourself. You also need stuff to finish sidequests. This 'stuff' is anything from monster guts, animal meat, insects, fruit hanging from trees to minerals gathered from rocks or fish caught in the water. A lot of the time you might end up hating yourself for selling all those Lizalfos' tails... since you didn't know your favorite armor piece required them for their upgrades! By the end I settled for selling minerals, since mineral rocks were pretty plentiful.

 Still, I think the biggest hump most veterans will need to get over is that the focus has changed from puzzles to exploration. Mind you, as simple as the dungeons are, there're plenty of puzzles to solve throughout most of the 120 shrines, but they are not too complicated(I might have consulted a guide one or twice, though). Puzzles are a lot more... mundane this time around too, often times having to make good use of fire and fire propagation, or finding the best way to manipulate objects around with your runes. The traditional puzzles, using the boomerang, the hookshot and the such are missed, but I think it's good to experiment every now and then. Although a few shrines require motion controls to be solve, and boy, we don't need to experiment with motion controls. They suck.

 Breath of the Wild was a fun large experiment with physics-based gameplay that succeeded in being a Zelda game unlike all others. It's a massive game, that gives players a lot of freedom in how they tackle every single challenge the game throws their way. It has a few glaring flaws: The annoying durability system, how few enemy types there are, how shallow dungeons and shrines are.... but I think, overall, it's one of the best games released on its generation, since it manages to be exactly what it wanted to: A grandiose adventure that moves at the pace set by the player.
 9.5 out of 10

Review #577: Super Mario Odyssey

 The gift that keeps on giving.

 I grew up with Mario. Donkey Kong and Super Mario Bros. Arcade NES ports were games I spent countless hours on, but nothing compared to how much of my childhood I invested in
Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros 3 and Super Mario World(Famicom bootleg). Mario 64 was my first brush with 3D, and one of my favorites on the N64. But then the PS2 and backwards compatibility came along and I jumped ship. Mario Sunshine? Skipped. Mario Galaxy? Didn't care. Mario Galaxy 2? I bought into the hype, and why I liked the game quite a bit... I was severely disappointed. I wasn't too interested in Odyssey, but hey, the Switch is a young console, and there isn't a whole lot of exclusives, so.... I gave it a chance. And I fell in love with Mario all over again.

 You know the drill already, Bowser kidnaps Peach. But this time around, Bowser is planning a wedding and thrashes Mario in the very first opening cutscene. But a ghostly hat, Cappy, posses his hat and vows to help Mario rescue peach... and his sister tiara. The game is over 10 large worlds long, with a few smaller worlds here and there. It doesn't sound like a whole lot, but there's a ton of different moons, this game's version of Stars, to collect. 880 moons, as a matter of fact. You only need a few, about 10-15 in order to progress to the next world, and there're a few moons that are very easy to find so it never feels like you're being held back from progressing against your will. Having 880 different moons also means that each world has about 50, so there's a ton of different things to do and find on each. It really is the gift that never stops giving.

 But it doesn't stop there! Death is a slap in the wrist this time around, Mario can only sustain up to three hits(Six if you find the power up) before dying, but the only penalty is a paltry 10 coin fee. Since the game doesn't run on lives anymore, coins are instead used in shops to purchase different costumes for Mario. Each world also has 50 or 100 devilishly hidden purple coins that can only be spend in the world they are found in, and they are used to purchase even more costumes or decoration for the Odyssey, Mario's ship that carries him from world to world. Super Mario Odyssey is a very meaty game, and there's no shortage of stuff to do and find.

 That's WHAT you do in the game, but HOW do you do it? Well, Odyssey plays a bit like a Mario 64 in that you are thrown into large but self-contained worlds that you're free to explore at your leisure. Mario has all his usual assortments of moves and then some. Jumping, triple jumping, side jumping, crouch jumping and wall jumping are all in, alongside Mario's 3D trademark: The ground pound. There're a bunch of new, and honestly unnecessary moves, like the punch-jump, by jumping after a ground-pound, 'catching', by pressing ZL and B on the air and a few others I'm probably forgetting about. Lastly, Mario lost his three-punch combo and his spin-attack, instead, throwing Cappy, with the B button, is his main form of combat...

 Kinda. While Cappy can defeat smaller enemies, it's also able to posses enemies and objects. While it sounds like a gimmick at first, the developers went out of their way to craft all forms of fun objectives to complete with the different forms Mario can assume. Posses a T-Rex and lay waste on smaller enemies and rocks. Posses a stone-creature-things with shades that can see invisible roads... but only while moving slowly and wearing his shades. Build a giant tower of Goombas to seduce a female Goomba. Posses a friggin' manhole cover in order to open up the way to a secret area. Trust me, there's a lot of fun stuff to do there.

 As good as everything is, and it really is good, I'd lie if I said I didn't have a few issues with the game's controls. Firstly, the Switch's analog stick isn't the best, a few times I found myself wishing I could have a more precise radius of movement. Secondly, hiding a few moves behind the ZL button. Y'see, in practice, ZL and ZR are used to crouch. But the special moves, such as the air-catch, can only be done with the ZL button. And finally, every enemy you can possess has a function that requires you to shake the joystick. Motion controls rarely are any fun, but if they are mandatory they are the absolute pits. Bad form, Nintendo, bad form. Motion controls suck, stop trying to force them on us!

 Mario is no stranger to multiplayer, but Odyssey implements it a little bit better than Galaxy 2 did. At any point a second player can pop in and play as Cappy. Cappy can't take damage, but it can hit stuff(Or posses stuff), ground pound enemies or switches and collect coins or hearts for Mario, albeit not moons. The second player can also move around while Mario is possessing an enemy, so you can seamlessly switch into another enemy or collect stuff from afar thanks to a second player. Disappointingly, there're a few sections and challenges that are Mario only, but they are few and far between.

 Super Mario Odyssey made me feel like a kid again, and there's no better praise I can give the game. Everything it set out to do it it succeeded with aplomb. And in an era of half-finished games and day-1 patches, not only is Odyssey a complete game, it'll also last you way longer than your average game, with tons of objectives and in-game unlockables that'll keep you coming back for more.
 10 out of 10

Review #576: Kingsley's Adventure

 This fox can't do a barrel roll.

 Can charm alone help make an ever-aging game tolerable? Kingsley's Adventure makes a great case study of it! This game is an adventure/platform game developed by Psygnosis, known for... well, they made a lot of games, so take your pick.

 The story places you in the boots of the fox Kingsley, a knight in training, who is tasked by the rabbit king and queen to save the land and defeat Bad Custard, an evil, yellow rat. Furries, enjoy. While the story is little more than context for the adventure, what really sells the game is how pretty everything is... despite the short draw distance that'd make Silent Hill blush. Each town is fairly distinct, although the same can't be said about the dungeons, featuring a colorful cast of animal-folk. Dialogue tries to be funny, but it really isn't, and somehow manages to make the characters fairly endearing. That was pretty much how I felt about the entire game, I wasn't invested in the story, but I was enjoying my trek through Kingsley's world immensely.

 Most of the game follows a simple formula: Talk to the king and queen,  go to the afflicted town, talk to the NPCs, enter the dungeon, defeat the boss, get new equipment(Mostly cosmetics) and then return to the king and queen. That goes on for the first four, and only, dungeons. Afterwards you'll have to defeat the four 'dark knights', which entails returning to every town and finding the entrance to the boss' lair. Once you've done all that, then you can tackle the final boss. The entire game can be beaten in about 3 hours, give or take. Do be careful, you can only save the game when entering foxholes, which means that you can only save when traveling between a town and the castle, so once you decide to tackle a dungeon you have to commit yourself until the end.


 Kingsley is, sadly, not as agile as a fox, and he controls via tank controls. As you might've guessed, this works very poorly in platforming environments. Dungeons 2 and 4 are particularly nasty due to all the platforming required, the conveyor belts in the second dungeon are benevolently safe, so you'll be stuck repeating the same jumps over until you get them right... this doesn't hold water on the fourth one, in which falling means death, so expect to see your firsts, and only, game overs in dungeon 4. Do be careful with your jumps, since, sometimes, it's possible to die instantly from tall heights. Finally, pressing switches or using keys can be... finicky, Kingsley must be extremely close, and you musn't be moving in any way before pressing square, otherwise the game will have trouble reading your inputs.

 It's not all jumping and running though, Kingsley's a knight in training, so he comes equipped with sword and shield. And eventually a crossbow too. There're three melee weapons, a dagger, an ax and, finally, a sword. Each weapon is better than the last, both in speed, range and power, so there's absolutely no reason to equip anything else than the last weapon you acquired, why you're allowed to boggles the mind. The crossbow, which is earned before the final dungeon, can only carry 10 arrows, and you can't pick up more arrows until you've depleted your entire quiver, so expect to see yourself shooting your last few arrows away in order to get a fresh refill. As for the combat, it's a simple mashing square affair. You can use the circle button to block, but it's not required, and, most of the time, a good offense is the best defense.

 While Kingsley's adventure is an adventure game, there's not much point in exploring your surroundings. At most you'll find coins, which will grant you an extra life every 50 coins you collect. Dungeons don't hold much secrets either, and they are fairly easy to traverse, with very simple puzzles sprinkled throughout barring your progress to the next room. There are no secret rooms or backtracking necessary, you just move forwards, solve the puzzle and move on. Bosses are fairly simple too, no brain power required. Although the third boss might take you by surprise, being the only boss that  requires you to block an incoming attack in order to deal damage to him.

 Kingsley's Adventure is very simple and very flawed, but at its core lies a rather entertaining little game If you removed all the platform segments, or gave the player better controls, it could've made for a much more fun game. But I think what really makes the game more than a sum of its parts is it's charming presentation and world, as this is a game that's even just nice to look at.
 6.0 out of 10

Review #575: Die Hard Trilogy 2 - Viva Las Vegas

 3 sloppy games for the price of one.

 The first generation of 3D games haven't aged very well, but curiously enough, there's a couple of licensed PS1 games that tend to get brought up quite often, the Die Hard Trilogy duology. For reasons known only to me(faulty disc) I'll be taking a look at Die Hard Trilogy 2 first, the one I used to play on PC when I was younger, can't say I have many memories about it, but I can say one thing.... it hasn't aged very well.

 Die Hard Trilogy 2 is three games in one: A third person arcade shooter, a on-rails first person shooter and a driving game. There're three modes of play: Practice, in which you play a tutorial level for each mode to let you get a feel of what you'll be doing, Arcade, in which you play every stage in whichever mode you pick, and, lastly, Movie mode, which has you playing a mix of stages from all three modes, tied together by cutscenes telling a completely original, and not very good, Die Hard story. In my humble opinion, it's a decent array of modes and content, with bonus unlockable levels lying within.

 I bet the game is sounding pretty good right up to here, and, sadly, something's got to give: The game has aged as gracefully as a 20 year old grape. Let's start with the best, the on-rails shooter is actually pretty decent, and it's probably loads of fun if you'v got a lightgun joystick. If you don't... oh, boy, get ready to grapple with the analog's sensitivity as you try to hit every incoming enemy, while avoiding hostages. That said, the game covers most of the basics, you have unlimited gun bullets, but can get other weapons by shooting at them, you can also shoot at health kits to recover your health. Sometimes, you'll also have to shoot projectiles, such as missiles or knives, in order to avoid incoming damage. Basically, it can be fun, but the dual shock isn't the ideal way to play the game.

 The driving stages are a bit interesting because there're many different objectives. Ram into an enemy until you defeat it, outrun a truck, get to a door before it closes, get bombs back to safety detonation zones while avoiding crashes. All of this while collecting nitro power ups or time extensions. Sadly, the controls aren't up to snuff, if you hit a wall, driving in reverse is very stiff and clunky. As a matter of fact, there's a certain slopiness to how movement in this mode feels. It's easy to accidentally overshoot your target, or trying to collect stuff, such as bombs, can be an exercise in frustration since the car's movement isn't smooth enough. All in all, these stages are great on paper, but the execution isn't up to snuff.

 The third person shooter mode is where most work went into, and the one that suffered the most. These stages feature various objectives, such as rescuing X amount of workers, getting to a certain place, finding keys in order to open up doors, etc. McClane can carry one extra weapon besides his unlimited ammo gun, with weapons such as sub machine guns or the world's weakest shotgun. Where this mode falters is in how stiff John moves. R1 and L1 are used to strafe while walking, which doesn't work very well in this game, while if you hold the Square you can run-strafe left or right, provided John doesn't come across an edge or a bump on the road, which will make him unable to move any more. It's horrible. Moving around environments feels very stiff, even if you don't take into account how bad the strafing is, tank controls don't help in an arcade shooter. The cherry on top is that most of the time it feels like you can't avoid taking damage, so these stages are unfairly hard because of that. Honestly, if it weren't for the stiff controls this mode could've been a blast.

 The silver lining in this... is that Die Hard Trilogy 2 can be sorta fun despite how badly it has aged. The lows certainly outnumber the highs, but I'd lie if I said the game was completely horrible. But I don't think those highs are worth wrestling the joystick for. It's easy to see why people have fond memories of the game, because everything sounds great, on paper, but the execution is so clunky due to poor controls that it ends up falling short of what it could've been.
 4.5 out of 10

Review #574: Metroid - Samus Returns

 She's back... and it's SO good.

 While I LOVE the Metroidvania genre, I've never been much fond of Metroid. I tried the original and Super Metroid, but never got too invested into them, and while I finished Fusion... it's a game I never touched again, lastly, Metroid - Other M was the first game I reviewed on this blog, earning a miserable 5 out of 10. Unrelated to that, I've also mused about how the 3DS was lacking a system seller, a game that made it worth it to own a 3DS. I think I just found it.

 Samus Returns is a remake of Metroid 2 on the Gameboy. I never played the original, so I can't say how faithful it is, but it does follow the same story thread: Samus must annihilate the last Metroids. The story is so simple that it sounds straight out of the Gameboy game, and after the initital cutscene detailing the backstory you get thrown into the game, and barring boss introduction and a few other seconds-long mini-cutscenes, there's no story whatsoever. After Fusion and Other M's misguided attempts at a in-depth plot, this is refreshingly good. This is a game that's 95% percent game and 5% watching, and it's exactly what you want on a handheld game.

 In case you've been living under a rock, this is how Metroid works: Played entirely in 2-D, albeit with 3-D graphics, you, as Samus, get to explore a hostile environment filled with obstacles that you may not be able to clear on the first go: Ledges far up beyond reach, doors you can't open, obstacles you can't destroy. But as you explore you'll come across new powers, such as morphing into a ball, shooting missiles, grappling beam, ice beams, etc that will allow you to reach new areas and clear previous obstacles. World design is not as intricate as Castlevania, so while the game is divided into 8 areas, you never need to backtrack to a previous in order to progress through the game... although why wouldn't you? Increasing your missile ammo supplies and maximum health are always welcome. As effective as Samus' default, infinite ammo, arm cannon is, some enemies and bosses require missiles to defeat.... at least until you find her beam upgrades.

 If you've played a Metroid game before, you've already seen most of what Samus will be able to do by the end of the game. The Screwattack, Ice beam, missiles and super missiles, power bomb, spider-ball, grappling beam... everything is here and accounted for, even Samus' upgraded suits are things you've already seen. That said, there are four new 'aeons', power ups that consume an energy gauge, that are entirely new to the series. Scan lets you scan a large area of the map, revealing any power up and breakable wall around you, Armor lets you traverse poisonous roads, Burst that lets Samus shoot so fast even armored enemies will fall to her assault and, lastly, Phase Shift, that slows down time. Honestly? The Scan is the best thing that ever happened to the game, I always found it ridiculous how you had to shoot seemingly innocuous walls in order to find secrets. And if you hate it, you can simply opt not to ever use the Scan. Your loss.

 There is a new ability, and Samus comes equipped with it right from the start, the Counter. By tapping X as a charging enemy is about to hit you, Samus will counter attack and automatically aim at it, for an easy kill. This also works on bosses, although in order to deal massive damage instead of instantly killing them, and it's one of the most effective ways to take them out. Speaking of bosses, while the final three are quite entertaining, and somewhat challenging fights, the rest of the 'bosses' come in the form of three repeated Metroid designs that you have to fight over and over again, 30 times as a matter of fact. It makes sense in-game, since Samus is tracking down the Metroids and there's no reason all of them should look different from one another, but bosses lose a bit of their punch when you already know what you're about to face. Which is probably what makes those three bosses stand out so much from the rest. Lastly, while you could always hold L in order to aim in all eight directions, now you can aim in all 360 degrees, which is more useful than it sounds and allows for some neat strategies.

 What may take a few players by surprise is how massively big the game can be. While speed running is still encouraged, a 100% playthrough of the game took me about 11 hours. Although I could've shaved at least an hour by not backtracking so often in order to search for goodies and simply wait until I had Samus fully decked out. Enemies deal large amounts of damage, so if you're not careful you will find yourself dying more often than not. Bosses have checkpoints before and after each fight, so it's not sadistic in that way... even if Save spots can be few and far between.

 Besides repeated bosses, there're a few other kinks in the game. For instance, gating content behind Amiibo, while a few act as glorified cheats, the Metroid Amiibo is the only way to access Fusion Mode, which grants Samus her Fusion suit and the entire Mode which changes how the game plays a bit. Nintendo, stop, you're better than this. The controls can have a bit of getting used to, for instance, after you get the Ice Beam, you'll be stuck swapping between it and your normal beam in order to access some areas, since the Ice Beam deals no damage but you need it in order to create platforms out of enemies. Thankfully, as soon as you get the Spin-Jump module you'll be able to forget about the Ice beam... at least until you find pure Metroids. Missiles can also be a point of contention, holding R button to use missiles is a mainstay by now, but swapping between Missiles and Super Missiles is done by tapping on the touchscreen... at least they selected until you die.

 Metroid - Samus Returns is not perfect, but it's damn close to it. If you enjoy Metroidvania's, there's a lot of ground to cover here and secrets to find, so much so that you'll surprise yourself backtracking often in order to collect stuff you left behind. And if you can't be bothered to go out of your way, that's just fine too, as the core gameplay is fun enough so as not to become a tedious affair, considering how long the game is.
 9.0 out of 10

Review #573: Star Wars Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith(Nintendo DS)

 Much conflict in this one, there is.

 Among Star Wars games, one that gets quite a bit of praise is Revenge of the Sith for both Gameboy Advance and Nintendo DS, they are pretty much the same exact game. Ubisoft is no stranger to beat'em ups, having developed the exquisite TMNT on the Gameboy Advance and later down the line, Scott Pilgrim VS the World. I wish I could say that I echoed the sentiments of most people... but I don't, the force isn't very strong in this one.

 The game follows the plot from the movie of the same name, although it's a pretty lackluster retelling that skimps a lot on detail, as a matter of fact, Darth Grievious doesn't even get four lightsabers. You can choose to play the game as either Anakin or Obi-Wan, both characters only sharing about 3 of their total 13 stages. Weirdly, you can't change characters unless you reset the console. I think the game did the best it could, as far as following the plot, and since most people that are gonna play the game probably watched the movie first, it doesn't need to be so faithful. The game has a decent presentation, although the sprite work is a bit weird... Anakin and Obi-Wan look like digitalized sprites, while every other character and enemy is a simple 2-D sprite with no shadowing, which makes both heroes look very out of place.

 A jumps, B is your light saber, L is used to block and the R button, alongside any other button produces any of six different force powers. Anakin and Obi-Wan have different attack animations, but for all intents and purposes, they behave the same. Their Force powers are a bit different though, Anakin getting force chokes and force power ups, while Obi-Wan gets to heal or improve his speed, both characters can pull and push enemies and objects, however. There's a third gauge, besides your health and force power gauges, that fills up as you fight enemies, and you can spend energy from that gauge to produce super moves by pressing L+R and another button. It doesn't work very well since it's not very responsive, thankfully, you have all four moves mapped to the touchscreen.

 Exclusive to the Nintendo DS version are six fully 3-D ship stages, each character getting three of them, in which you must either defeat every enemy on a medium sized environment or get to the end of an obstacle course. They are a bit... out of place here, so much so that it's almost like a wasted opportunity, since these stages are so short, yet controls and movement has an unusual amount of care put in... they could've done so much more with them. These stages don't detract from the game too much, but it could've been nice to get the option to skip them, since I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't care about space dogfights on a beat'em up game.

 As for the game itself, it's kind of a mixed bag. Stages are quite boring, and a bit unfairly hard. Y'see, your life counter doesn't reset after each stage, so sometimes it's better to just kill yourself after starting a stage so that you can reset the life counter to 2(Or 5, on easy). It's a silly design choice. The stages themselves aren't too hard with a full life stock though, although I wasn't pressed to use my force powers. Combat grew so boring that after the third stage, on my first playthrough, I just wanted the game to end, so I played very sporadically until the end. Bosses are the worst of the bunch, as you have to guess how the boss is gonna attack, block, and then counterattack. Over and over again as you chip their health away. Waiting games are NEVER fun.

 Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith is decent at best and boring at worst. It just isn't very fun, not is it nice to look at, since better art could've made the game more endearing. There're much better Star Wars games out there, so don't bother with it until you're out of the good ones.
 5.0 out of 10