Top 20 games I Hate everyone else Loves

Top 20 games I Hate everyone else Loves

 Just like the previous list... but the other way around!


20) Breath of Fire IV

 Hate may be too strong a word for this game, which is why it's opening up the list. I used to play this game on PC, and had a blast with it, until I got to a point where I could simply not progress anymore because the game would freeze after Fou-Lou went crazy, or somethin' like that. I was not able to finish the game until much later down the line, when I got the PS1 version of the game.
 And, sadly, I wasn't feeling it as much as I did back when I was younger. I adore the art direction, any piece of official art is dope!, but the story wasn't as interesting as I once thought, and the gameplay was on par with what you'd expect out of a JRPG.... including with obtuse moments in which you'll be stuck talking and talking and talking with NPCs until you trigger the next event. Gathering all dragons without a guide is an exercise in frustration, and i'ts a dull hunt even with one at hand.

19) Sonic Battle

 Sonic Battle was the s@#*!! If you weren't playing it in Highschool, you were doing it wrong. But I was playing it, and boy, Sonic was finally cool in my eyes. But games come and go, so it wasn't long before I forgot about it. Years later, I'd find myself growing my collection of games, and it got to a point where Sonic Battle was something I needed to have.... but was hard to find.
 But I found it, and I played it, and I hated it.
 The fighting mechanics simply aren't much fun at all, although kudos on the animations, the game looks great. But even if the fighting mechanics were fun, the Story Mode is completely dull. You have to fight the same characters(It's a 10 character roster, after all!) over and over and over again. Many times you'll be outnumbered by lethal AI enemies, so much so that you'll learn that any chance of survival depends on you cheesing the game mechanics in your favor.
 The game's biggest hook, at the time, was Emerl, a little customizable Robot that can learn any move from any character. I bet that sounds awesome, and it could've been, in theory. But you need to grind Story Mode battles for customization points, which you do at incredibly low increments, and you also need to cross your fingers so that the move you covet is the one you get after a fight, because you need cards to equip Emerl with moves, and card acquisition is 100% random.
 As much as I dislike the game, it's only this low because nowadays, finally, dissenting opinions are becoming more vocal about it, thus vindicating me.

18) Super Mario Land

 You know me, I love me some good, olde 2-D Mario platoforming. But I hate Super Mario Land.
 Supposedly a system seller, this game is beloved by everyone, despite(Or perhaps 'because') it being so weird and different from other Mario games. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE WEIRD, but this game just... It isn't very good.
 The problem lies where most Mario games shine: Control. Mario is a slippery little bugger in this game, which made the game completely unenjoyable for me. Where's the fun in falling down because the controls simply aren't up for snuff? Mercifully, the game is rather short, so torture doesn't last for long.
 And I used to play the game when I was younger, so it's not just a matter of me holding up the game to today's standards, because I should have some nostalgia lingering for it. But it's not enough.

17) Grandia II

 I'm willing to grant the game the fact that I played the horrible PS2 port for my bad experience with the game, but it's not like a have a Dreamcast in my closet or that the PC version is easy to find, so if you want to experience Grandia II there aren't many options out there... although I think there was a PS4 rerelease.
 The game's story? Pretty decent, it has a few great characters. The gameplay? Great. But it's the huge amount of little things that add up that turn this game into a nightmare. The combat is strategic, with characters running around the field, and with the aid of a circular grind you can plan out your turns in order to avoid damage and interrupt enemy actions. But playable characters can be SO dumb, often times getting stuck running against each other, thus cancelling each other's attacks. And it's not like you can plan ahead HOW you characters will decide to get to their targets. Other times they'll simply decide to waste their second combo-attack on thin air, just because.
 But that's the least of the game's issues. How about the horrible frame-rate? Every SINGLE time you enter a new town, the camera has to give you a mini-tour of the entire area... at a sub 10 framerate counter. I'm not kidding. Exploring around can be annoying because of this, and EVEN battles aren't privy to this. And sometimes, if the game is feeling trippy, a character's textures may not load when you enter a battle.
 Grandia II, at least on the PS2 is a technical mess that only helps exacerbate the game's shortcomings. I'm sure the game could be a decent 7.0 out of 10 if it wasn't so broken. But this is the version of the game I get to play.

16) LittleBigPlanet (Series)

 I'm not the biggest fan of LittleBigPlanet. I played a bit of the PS3 version, but it was simply too floaty for me, and the three-planes thing was clunky, to say the least. The version I spent the most time with, and actually finished, was the PSP iteration... which I felt was just as bad. I grew up on platformers, Mario, Banjo, Circus Charlie, Milk and Nuts, Gex, Adventure Island... all manner of Platform games, all games I enjoyed throughout my life. Yet LittleBigPlanet just doesn't do it for me... which kinda sucks, considering how much praise this series tends to garner.

15) Fear Effect (Series)

 Among Playstation 1's most beloved niche games are the Fear Effect duology of games. Look, I can appreciate their dark stories and even darker characters, but the gameplay is just so clunky. Hitboxes are all over the place, swapping discs is cumbersome(In Fear Effect 2, each disc has two 'zones') and some of the puzzles are just annoying. I will never understand how these games managed to warm their way up people's hearts.

14)Killzone Liberation

 Killzone Liberation was so beloved that it managed to get into Sony's 'Platinum' and 'PSP Essentials' lines. And I hate it. I remember going online to see if everyone else thought the game was as bad as I did, but alas, my feelings were not validated. The story was so boring that I skipped most of it, melee is useless and aiming your guns is atrocious. It's also a very slow game, which goes against what I tend to enjoy: Fast arcade action. This game just didn't do it for me like it did for other PSP owners.

13)Twisted Metal Black

 You could fit the entire Twisted Metal franchise here, but I've only played this one and the one on PS3, so it didn't seem fair. I remember reading about Twisted Metal and its clones, like Vigilante 8, feeling very intrigued by them. And then I got a PS2 and eventually got my hands on Twisted Metal Black. And I hated it. The game was boring and unlocking stuff was a chore. And I get it, the game is meant to be played in multiplayer, since having the CPU gang up on you or ran away to heal as you try to kill it is always annoying. But I also played it in multiplayer(Well, with another player, but it still counts!) and I hated it. Years later I would try my hand at the PS3 reboot.... and it didn't fare much better.
 I don't get it. Are fans of the franchise always finding means to play this game with 3 other players instead of the Single Player modes? Because I just can't understand how people see any fun here.

12) Dragon's Crown

 I love beat'em ups and Vanillaware's artsyle. I also happen to hate Dragon's Crown. Featuring a hideous artstyle that meant to titillate players with the Amazon and the Witch, but only managing to create abominations that spit on the human form, looking at this game was anything but appealing, and the unnecessary fanservice made me facepalm every single time a female NPC was introduced.
 The gameplay doesn't help with anything, I remember that upgrading my Knight felt like such a let down, since every single skill sounded so lame. In RPGs leveling up is supposed to be rewarding, unlocking new abilities and skills is supposed to be something that you want to do and it feels great to do. Not in this game it isn't.
 The kicker? Having to use the right analog stick to direct a thief ally to unlock staff for you. Because I really want to wait doing nothing on a beat'em up, a game about bashing skulls. Dragon's Crown is one of the most unfun and overrated beat'em ups out there.

 11) P.T

 No game director is more overrated than Hideo Kojima, that is a fact. I quite feel like going on a tangent here about it, but I will restrain myself. And just like the creator itself, no 'game', if you can even call it that, is as overrated as PT.
 I played it. The puzzles were dumb and broke the fourth wall, which does the opposite of investing you on the game. It relied on cheap jumpscares that weren't even scary, and it's so short and dumb that I felt insulted some Youtubers would place it on their 'Top X games' of the year PT was released in. If you didn't get to play it, don't worry, it isn't worth it.

10)Dragon Ball Xenoverse

 Xenoverse marked the last time I got hyped for a Dragon Ball game. Everything looked so great, with tiny little details like characters using their legs to swim while underwater. And, truth be told, the graphics were pretty phenomenal. But the framerate, jesus christ, the frame rate. If there were more than two characters on screen, which was the rule and not the exception, the game's framerate would tank. Some parts of the game were nigh unplayable due to this.
 Granted, I was playing the horrible PS3 port... but even then, that doesn't fix the lack of menus(everything is done through the Hub town), poor local multiplayer options, lack of balancing, need to grind for stuff, a RNG for the RNG(The boss has an random chance to appear, and the drops of said boss have their own random chance to drop IF you defeat him), and a disappointing implementation of the character creation which meant that you had to dress for stats and not looks....
 I can understand why people can enjoy the game, if you think of it as a MMO, then it's alright. But I wanted a fighting game and this... wasn't.

9)Jump Ultimate Stars

 If you liked anime and had a DS during the mid 00s, then you definitely heard of Jump Ultimate Stars. I did, and somehow got around importing it, only to be let down by a game that wasn't everything it was made out to be.
 I think the language barrier had a lot to do with it, as finding the pieces I wanted for my deck was a bit more of a hassle than it needed to, since, well, I can't read Japanese. Speaking of decks, I can't say I was a fan of that either, I would've much preferred a straight-to-the point fighting game. The worst part about decks is that if you want to play as certain characters, you have to build your deck BEFORE jumping into the game, which is a bit annoying if you just want to play around with the cast, which, let's get real, is what everyone wanted, to play around with every character.
 The online community around it also left a lot to be desired, with a weird 'don't break out of combos' etiquette, and obnoxious 'farmers' that expected you to do nothing and wait for a game to end... and if you didn't know what they were meaning to do, they would gang up on you, making sure you earned the least amount of points. Pricks!

8) Mortal Kombat(Series)

 My first experience with the series was through a bootleg NES cart that I used to play over and over again when I was younger. And, somehow, I felt into the hype, I watched the movie and my parents got me a few figures and collectible caps. I loved Mortal Kombat. And when I was a bit older, but not THAT old, I got Trilogy on the N64 and I loved it, although not as much as MK4 once it came out. Deadly Alliance on the PS2 was dope too.
 But midway(Heh!) through the PS2 era I realized something... Mortal Kombat kinda sucks. The first four games were too simple, every character sharing punches and kicks, and the latter PS2 iterations had horrible character designs and animations. It wasn't a game you wanted to look at, and it seemed like the games got more and more uninspired as the series progressed. Deception introduced some of the worst character designs into the franchise, and Armageddon cut a lot of corners to make it work(Only 2 styles per character, some of the laziest and worst animations yet, no fatalities)... while, ironically, Shaolin Monks proved that the devs had talent, they were simply squandering it. As bad as Armageddon was,  the pinnacle of bad animation and character models would arrive with Mortal Kombat VS DC comics. Some of the worst animations can be found in Flash's wimpy shoves and flailing arms, or in Wonder Woman's horrible special attacks(Splitting her legs to... grab the enemy? A silly twirl?), and just look at how horrible Sonya's model is sculpted from the neck up, or at Kitana's tiny head. Mortal Kombat VS DC was one ugly chimera.
 But somehow, thanks to brand recognition alone, the series toiled on... and we got Mortal Kombat 9. Some character models were still ugly, some of the animations were still ugly... but the game was fun to play. Where I meant to arrive with all the diatribe above was.... Mortal Kombat sucked up until 9, since then Netherrealms has gotten better and better. I respect what the series turned into, but man, was it a bumpy road.

7) Wild Arms & Wild Arms Alter Code F

 Do you know what really gets under my skin? When people talk about classic RPGs on the PS1 and never, ever fail to mention Wild Arms 1 but not its sequels... or outright claim that the first one was the best. It wasn't.
 I was familiar with Wild Arms 2, a game I adored, and Wild Arms 3, one of my favorite JRPGs out there, before I gave Wild Arms 1 a chance, and needless to say, expectations were skyhigh, since people had the gall to claim that this game was superior to those two. What I got with Wild Arms 1 were flat characters and a combat system that lacked all the refinements and niceties of the sequels. There's no way, absolutely no way people can actually, really believe that this game beats its sequels, because it doesn't.
 And sooooooo I actually got around purchasing the excessively pricey remake, Alter Code F, which was meant to be Wild Arms 1 with all the niceties of the Wild Arms 3 engine. But they screwed that up too. There's pretty much no equipment, which makes exploration less rewarding, and there aren't as many skills to outfit characters with as there were in Wild Arms 3. Loading times are excessively high, the encounter rate is obscenely high and there's no simple way to replenish your mana and ammo counters, and... and there's a lot more I could say that I already said on my review. The remake is EVEN worse than the original game. But then again, I think most people prefer the original anyways.... because nostalgia. Which sucks, because the sequels, at least 2 and 3, are fantastic, and eclipse the first game in every single way possible.


6) Uncharted - Drake's Fortune

 Drake's Fortune is, easily, one of the sloppiest third person shooters I've ever played. The parkour is sloppy to the point of feeling like the game cheated me into dying. The shootouts last too long and enemies are damage sponges. And the worst part about it? There are QTEs... three of them, so few that you'll never be ready for them. I was flabbergasted at how terrible the game was after I finished it, so I asked around online boards if I was nuts or Uncharted 1 sucked... and the best I got was 'It was good for its time'. No, no it was not. I would've disliked the game as much had I played it at release. If anything, I'm glad the series continued, because every game that came afterwards was pure gold.

5) Hyrule Warriors Legends

 Alright, alright, I know that the 3DS version isn't the ideal way to play Hyrule Warriors, but hey, I loved Samurai Warrior 4-II on the Vita and had a blast with Samurai Warriors Chronicles on the 3DS. But it goes beyond that, anyone who has spent more than five minutes on this blog would know that I love the Warriors games with a passion. But I hate Hyrule Warriors.
 Much like Fist of the North Star - Ken's Rage 2, the game loves to stop me from having fun pummeling enemies. It brings up these annoying bosses that require you to use the correct item in order to get the chance to chip their health away. Generals are also kind of annoying due to needing items in order to expose their weaknesses at times. As a matter of fact, the entire concept of items in the game is needless fluff that's only there to give the game the most superficial appearance of depth it can. Warriors games don't need that, they don't need depth, they need to be fun.
 I think the worst part about Pirate Warriors 3, a Warriors game I loved, was developing characters through medals. Sadly, said mechanic was reused here, which makes for needless padding if you want to upgrade every character.
 The story mode is boring, the adventure game is a hassle, the gameplay is annoying... there's a reason I haven't finished the game yet, and thus reviewed it: It bores me to tears.

4) Halo - Combat Evolved

 If one game was massively overhyped, and changed FPS forever, it was Halo. And I just couldn't get into it. The first few alien monsters looked pathetic, it almost felt like I was playing a humorous game. I also failed to enjoy the guns Master Chief could find, none felt fun to use. The game was so boring, to me, that I stopped playing after I fell off a bridge while driving the Warthog.
 I'm sure that multiplayer was fun, there's got to be a reason why the game was so beloved, but as far as the Single Player mode went... it failed to arrest my attention. How can people take Halo's enemies seriously?! I will admit, however, that I did play a bit of Halo 2 on co-op and actually enjoyed it. But as for the first game? I'll pass it any day of the week.

3) Animal Crossing(Series)

 I swear I gave it a chance. I played the one on gamecube, I played the one on DS and I even played a bit of the one on the 3DS... and I can't for the life of me figure out what makes this game so much fun for other people. Hunting for bugs and fishing grows boring soon, collecting money is a chore and I can't say I see much fun in designing a house.
 There's not much else I can say besides that, I simply don't like Animal Crossing.

2) Kirby's Epic Yarn

 Oh boy, here we go. Kirby's Epic Yarn has always been a tough game to criticize, because anyone that dared imply the game was anything but perfect was a dull idiot that couldn't appreciate a game that dared to look cute.
 And it blows, because the best thing about the game is, precisely, its looks. But a few stages into the game it just stops doing novel things with the 'everything is made out of thread' theme, the cutest and smartest things lie in the first few stages, and it feels like developers forgot about the possibilities the theme brought later down the line. Not being able to die was the least of the game's problems, I'm a fan of Wario Land games, so this was nothing new to me.
 But what really sunk the game was how boring the gameplay was. Missing Kirby's trademark power-stealing powers meant that you'd quickly grow tired of Thread Kirby's limited moveset. And the game failed to keep things fresh, every single stage felt like going through the motions while turning my brain off, because there was nothing fun to do.

1) Xenosaga Series

 Not gonna lie, every time the Xenosaga games make it into a 'Top X RPGs' I die a little inside. I admit, the reason I may have disliked Xenosaga 1 so much was because I was expecting Xenogears 0, so I might had been extra disappointed. But that doesn't excuse the fetishistic use they gave KOS-MOS, the limited combat mechanics(Compared to Xenogears, and this is fair, because the combat takes up cues from said game) or how dull the mechs were.
 But Xenosaga II was a mess, everything that a game could get wrong, they got wrong. The female characters were further sexualized(Shion doesn't need glasses anymore because reasons!), Jr., the most annoying character EVER created took the lead role and the gameplay... boy, the gameplay was horrible. Equipment was removed entirely, so now every character had their own elemental affinity. You also had to keep in mind that only a few characters could place enemies under certain advantageous status for you, like 'Downed' or 'On air'... this meant that you had to switch up your party accordingly. Strategic? Yeah, maybe... but this also meant that I couldn't play with my favorite characters if I wanted, which really soured the experience for me, since I can't stand more than half of them. And you know you've done something wrong if random encounters are harder than boss fights.
 As for Xenosaga III... The gameplay was great, and they got to my heart by filling it with nods and references to Xenogears, but, sadly, the story was a nonsensical mess, filled with horrible inconsistencies.
 Luckily, Monolith-soft would go on to create Xenoblade, which was the successor we deserved AND needed.

Top 20 games I Love everyone else Hates

Top 20 games I love everyone else Hates

That's it! These are games that I love that everyone else seems to hate!


20) Final Fantasy Dissidia NT

 I think that we can all agree on Dissidia on the PSP being pretty darn good... even if the customizable movesets weren't really my thing. Dissidia NT added 3more characters, although sacrificing a few, had better graphics, had 3 on 3 battles and even streamlined the combat... yet it was victim to poor reviews.
 I'll admit that I can understand why people disliked it so much: It doesn't have many modes, there're lees costumes per character, grinding for customization items can be a drag, keeping track of three opponents can be cumbersome, having to go through various menus just to select characters can be tedious, no offline versus and having a set moveset for every character can irk some people.
 But me? All I saw was Dissidia trying to copy Gundam VS, a franchise I adore. So I get Gundam VS-like gameplay but with human characters AKA everything I've ever wanted. I also love not having to select every move for a character, knowing that I have to work with what I have and not have to waste time selecting what works. And lastly, despite the lack of modes... There are enough characters and enough permutations of teams as not to feel too repetitive.
 Say what you will, but Dissidia manages to fit right in my niche.

19) Resident Evil 6

 Critics were mixed about it, fans despised it, I had a blast with it. People called it foul when hidden beneath the Resident Evil banner they found a co-op third-person shooter that wasn't concerned about scaring you, but rather, offering thrills.
 There's a place for horror in videogames, but people need to face it: Resident Evil was never very scary to begin with. Granted, Resident Evil 1 did put survival at its forefront, but as soon as Resident Evil 2 hit the scene you, the player, became a walking weapon of mass destruction, armed with an arsenal and enough ammo to blow most of your opposition to smithereens.
 It's true that Resident Evil 6 can feel a bit disjointed at times, but considering how gameplay is pretty much the same between all arcs... it's not as jarring as people make it out to be, that said, campaigns are distinct enough as for everyone to have their personal favorite, mine being Leon's which managed to feel like a proper action-horror romp.
 Speaking of gameplay, that's what really sells this game, no other third person shooter, that I've played anyways, offers the same amount of weight to how characters move and react, making every shot you land feel satisfying, and taking control of such a heavy character makes your movement feel very exciting. It's a fantastic ride, just don't expect to soil your pants.

18) Breath of Fire - Dragon Quarter

 Dragon Quarter is this low on the list because I feel like the game has been slowly gotten vindicated by history, slowly but surely people are growing more accepting of it... even if I come across the occasional slight against it by popular Youtubers or the such...
 Let's start with the fact that the game is hard as nails, so hard as to call Dead Souls the Dragon Quarter of action games. You will die in this game, either because you hit the Dragon Drive limit or because the opposition just grew too strong. Which means that you'll be replaying the game over and over and over and over again. Or, if you play your cards right, you can simply amass stat-boosting items and then use them on a fresh new file, the file that will be The Run.
 It's a complex game, and not a game for everyone, but it's hard not to enjoy just how deliciously dark and edgy everything is, with a somber, depressing and oppressive setting complimented by rusty colors. And it's you, Ryu, fighting against everyone to get Nina to the top of the underground, towards the open land. It's easy to get involved in Ryu's mission, and boy, can the game get exciting when you're running low on supplies and have to decide whether it's time to reset or carry onwards.
 I'll never forget my last stretch on The Run, I had ran out of Saving Tokens and my Dragon Drive counter was dangerously high, so I had to marathon all the last bosses back to back to back to back. I remember how tense I was during the final boss group fight, as I chipped away at the enemies' health, and, somehow, persevered all the way to the end. I love this game.

17) DmC - Devil May Cry

 This game should not be here since its Metacritic score is so high, but despite that, fans hated this game. Which is alright, their loss.
 DmC is living proof that 'gamers', and I hate that word, hate change. As soon as Donte was revealed, the game never had a chance. It's true, Donte is a dick... but classic Dante was even more of a prick, so get your facts straight. At least we saw Donte care about someone, and not in a 'fill your soul with light' kind of way... not that it would matter, since classic Dante changes his personality with every game he's starred in.
 It's true, the combat is not as good as previous games, the lack of targetting being inexcusable, but despite that, the game was fun to play. Combat was a bit more style over substance, and if you really cared about being stylish, there were plenty of button gymnastics waiting for you, as you swapped between weapons mid-combo and what-not.

16) The Hobbit

 Maybe I can't look at this game without rose-tinted glasses, but... I love Sierra's The Hobbit. I've fond memories of playing this game, early in the morning, on the PC, during Christmas Season as soon as my parents woke me up and left for work.
 Gameplay is a bit wonky, very wonky by today's standards, but I can't help but find it endearing. The game has this whimsical cell-shaded look that makes objects stand out. It's a beautiful, colorful game despite how much monster-slaying Bilbo has to do.
 It's fine if people hate it, it is a low-budget game after all, but honestly, you could do so much worse as far as Middle Earth games go.

15) Advance Guardian Heroes

 The original is considered a classic, I wouldn't know, since I never played it. But, for whatever reason, this game received lukewarm reviews, to say the least. I remember reading Gamespot's review and, despite how average the score was, I couldn't help but feel interest in the peculiar artstyle displayed on the screenshots. So I emulated the game.
 And I loved it. And I purchased it first chance I got, and since then, I would go on to beat the game over and over and over again. And when I wasn't feeling it, I would play the fun VS mode as I'd make up my own stories with the huge character roster. I've also got highscores with every single character in the Survival Mode. Did I mention I loved this cart?
 Recently I played it a few months ago, and the controls are a bit clunky, yes, but they work well enough. Juggling enemies around is so much fun, and the parry system is a blast to abuse. The adventure mode is particularly fun, since it's a beat'em up with adventure and leveling RPG elements, so you can tailor your character to your taste as you go along. There's so much fun to be had with this cart, I'll never understand why it got such mediocre scores.

14) Dragon Valor

 I think I first read about this game in an EGM magazine, and as unexcited as they sounded on the preview... what I read piqued my curiosity. Slaying dragons, playing as successors to the blood line? Count. Me. In.
 Eventually I came across the game and it was everything I wanted and a little bit more. It's also one of the very first games I reviewed on this site when I replayed it as a proper adult.
 As basic as the gameplay is, I can't help but find the game very charming. There're three different storylines, following 5 different generations of Dragon Slayers, and as cheesy as they are... I always loved speculating how the next heir would look like. They all played pretty much the same though. I don't think there's any other game that follows five generations of characters, which makes it pretty unique in my book.
 That said, the low scores make sense. It was released by the time the PS2 was becoming the next big thing, and the gameplay was very limited for a late-era PS1 game. But I honestly think that there's enough charm here as to make it worth a look.

13) Pirates Legend of the Black Buccaneer

 I don't think there's a single positive review for this game. And there's barely any video reviews out there, the one that I found had a few glaring... misinformation issues that I felt compelled to comment and correct.
 It's a low budget game, so naturally, not many people heard of it, and what few publications had access to it judged it alongside its peers at the time. But when I played it, earlier this year, I wasn't comparing it with its peers, I was taking the game as it was... a great little Metroidvania.
 The game reminded me a lot to Knytt. You're thrust upon an Island, guided throughout the first few areas and then left to your own devices as you come across barriers, obstacles and objectives. And how you tackle these is entirely up to you. That's one of the things I liked the most about the game, the amount of freedom and objectives.
 It's not perfect. Combat grows oh, so very stale by the end, some things could've used more explanations(Like how to upgrade your stats!!) and the presentation leaves a lot to be desired. But if you temper your expectations, the game is a fantastic way to kill three hours or so.

12) Castlevania - Lament of Innocence

 Castlevania fans.... are a divided, hard to please bunch. You've got the ones that only like the 2-D side scrollers, the ones that only like the Metroidvanias, the ones that only like them in 2-D, the ones that hate anything Lords of Shadows and a few that like a combination of some of the previous categories.
 While Lament of Innocence received good reviews, not unlike DmC, most fans really hate it. And between both PS2 entries, this one is usually the one people like the least.
 And I don't get it. If Castlevania was ever to go 3-D, this is EXACTLY what I would expect. You've got the classic enemies, you've got sub-weapons and Crystals to change how they behave, you've got equipment(including elemental whips), you've got hidden rooms, you've got health-boosting potions, etc. Every element for a good Metroidvania is in here. It's also got a few decent combo-mechanics, if you are so inclined.
 And the cherry on top? You can unlock another character that plays NOTHING like the main character, Joachim, or a Pumping-monster that is a joke character...but has his own special subweapon.

11) Spyro - A Hero's Tail

 Know the difference between Spyro and Crash? Crash got a honest-to-goodness first entry on the Playstation 2, while Spyro got Enter the Dragonfly, which was a disaster in the form of a disc.

 But then, Vivendi got their hands on the franchise and produced a Hero's Tail, which looks as beautiful as it plays. And it looks beautiful.

 Aesthetics aside, A Hero's Tail put exploration as the forefront, everything is connected now and there're quite a handful of places to explore. Your mileage may vary on the playable companions, but they are entirely optional. Don't like them? Don't play them. Well, Hunter has a couple of mandatory sections, but he is the most fun to play as, so it's alright.

 Spyro had toyed with elemental breaths before, but it wasn't until this game that they really got the most out of them, breaths having both environmental and combat uses which made them actually fun to use. Environmental puzzles were relatively simple, but solving puzzles and getting to your coveted crystals or eggs was a fun ride.

10) Escape Dead Island

 This game was released in 2014, often cited as a bad year for videogames, and this game usually made it into the 'Worst of 2014' lists... which made me wonder, just how bad could the year have been if this game was in?
 Look, the performance is horrible, with stuttering all over the place... but I think the game is good enough as to make it tolerable.
 I don't love the game, but dammit if I don't like it a whole lot more than most people. I loved the colorful cell-shaded graphics, I loved the mind-screw storyline and I loved the simple, but satisfying gameplay. I'm a sucker for Metroidvanias, and boy, did I have fun exploring the Island, getting new tools and then backtracking in order to access new areas for goodies and upgrades.
 The title might be 'Escape', but I had a blast exploring the Island. There were a ton of different locales, with very distinct objects and places to explore, I got quite invested in exploring the entire place.

9) Arc Rise Fantasia

 Yet ANOTHER instance of 'never had a chance', as soon as the first trailer came out, showcasing the less-than-stellar dub, the game was forgotten by everyone. And among the few of us that gave it a chance, quite a handful left the game in the duster midway through the game because the dub was so bad.
 And it's true, the dub was horrid. A few people said that it got better as you advanced through the game and the actors got into their roles... but I'm not too sure about that.
 What I am sure about is that Arc Rise Fantasia is one of the greatest JRPGs I've ever played, probably cracking Top 25(Well, I've played a lot of JRPGs). The gameplay is pretty unique in that you can actually sacrifice character turns in order to have other characters perform more actions. But that's less than half of the story, you can customize characters' weapons with gems to give them buffs or special properties. You can also customize magic load-outs and perform combo magic between characters(Just invest in Fire Magic, the Health Max Up spell is pretty much a necessity if you want to tackle the extra content. Which I did. All of it.) for added fire power.
 But as much as I enjoyed the gameplay, what really makes the game is its story. Beneath it's Tales of-ish appearance lies some of the most interesting twists and turns I've ever seen in a JRPG. As a matter of fact, this game has the best 'Betrayal' scene I've ever seen in one. One of the most shocking too.
 Sadly, most people gave up either because of the horrible dub or because grinding became a necessity, which is a shame, 'cause they missed out on quite the tale.

8) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Mutants in Manhattan

 Alright, so I'm a pretty big fan of TMNT and I've been known to enjoy Platinum games' games, but that doesn't mean that I'm easy to please. And I don't care what you say, Mutants in Manhattan was great.
 The lack of offline multiplayer was sorely missed, but getting to tag as all four turtles at the same time was a blast. The semi-open world design with random objectives was a risky move that I think payed off, so that no two-playthroughs are the same... although that does mean that you might get stuck with stinkers, such as rolling balls towards a certain area instead of bashing enemies, which is what was the most fun.
 I lied, bosses were what was the most fun about the game. Having to set up all your characters with different skills was a great touch, so you could set up all four brothers with balanced movesets, or do like I did and have designated support characters and designated damage dealers. Regardless, when it came to bosses, then the game suddenly turned into a party. Bosses are hulking masses of destruction that can lay waste to your team in a few hits, which is why you must master blocking and parrying, and boy, is it fun learning how enemies behave in order to find openings to land your special moves, or decide if risking a parry was a good idea or not.
 Sometimes, sometimes I think that people just don't get Platinum Games' games, and Mutants in Manhattan is part of the reasons why.


7) Crash of the Titans/ Crash Bandicoot - The Wrath of Cortex

 Stop. Hating. On. Post. Naughtydog. Crash. Games.
 The Wrath of Cortex was everything Crash on the PS2 had to be. Not enough platforming? Crash 3 said hi. Wrath of Cortex had as much variety as people had grown to expect, while looking as good as the new hardware allowed at the time. The platforming was great, the graphics were great and the boss battles... weren't very good. But I'm not judging too harshly since they got mostly everything else right. If you want to fault it for something, besides the bosses, fault them for not changing enough, for settling with aping Naughtydog.
 And if you did what I just said, then the joke's on you because Crash would get soft-rebooted afterwards with Twinsanity, which wasn't too bad in-and-of itself, but the one I really liked was the NEXT reboot, Crash of the Titans.
 The redesigns are unnecessary, yes, and the gameplay has NOTHING to do with what came before it... but that's alright, because the new beat'em up gameplay is good enough. While 'love' is a strong word for this game, I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would, because people do love to spend their time talking about how Crash was never good again after Naughtydog orphaned the series. Which is pretty much wrong. Fight me.

6) Dead to Rights series

 While Dead to Rights 1 received decent reviews, it was unfavorably compared to Max Payne. I loved it. And then Dead to Rights 2 came out. People hated it. I hated it.
 It's with the next two entries that I can't help but differ. Dead to Rights Reckoning on the PSP got horrible reviews... but I loved it. It's the perfect arcade-shooter to have on the go, with slick action and polished mechanics from Dead to Rights 2. As a matter of fact, it reuses a lot of assets... but puts them to better use.
But, know what? I can forgive critics. They think they are hot stuff and that arcadey games, like Reckoning, are beneath them. But Retribution? Retribution is one of the most fun third person shooters on the PS3. One that successfully mixes fisticuffs with shooting, something not many other games can claim. And you also got a deadly pooch to help you out. And yet, critics called it 'generic'. They said it brought nothing new to the table.
 And I'd like to know just what were they smoking.

5) Koudelka

 Koudelka didn't have the smoothest of development cycles, which is why it sort of has an identity crisis. And that's why critics disliked it so much.
 But, really, they over exaggerated. If you know that this is a JRPG you can get into it just fine. The mechanics were a good mixture of SRPG, moving characters around, different ranges with different weapons and spells, with more traditional elements, such as manually raising your characters' stats.
 The Survival Horror elements help make it stand out among its brethren, ammo is scarce and weapons break. Although enemy drops makes it so that you'll never really run out of options... on the flip side, it also means that the Random Number Generator God decides just how much of an easy time will you have. You'll also have to find a lot of weird items and where to use them in order to advance, not unlike Resident Evil's scavenger hunts.
 But as much as I enjoyed that bizarre mix of Survival Horror and JRPG elements, it was the story that really stood out, featuring mature, dark themes and very atypical characters from what you would expect. Koudelka, the girl from the cover, might look like every other JRPG teenage protagonist ever, but she just happens to be a cynical, sarcastic, prostitute gypsy that happens to be able to speak with ghosts. And that's not even getting into the rest of the cast.

4) Dynasty Warriors DS - Fighter's Battle

 I could've probably gone with any Dynasty Warriors game that predates 8, since they are pretty much disliked but most people, but I decided to go with Dynasty Warriors DS. Repetitive gameplay, only three playable characters, no story, barely any customization, no modes, no nothing.
 And yet, I have a blast every time I turn on the console. Something about defeating dozens of enemies at a time is always a fun time for me. I play with the red guy(Phoenix) most of the time, defeating the same enemies and bosses over and over again.
 I've really got not much else to say, I just really enjoy the game. But I'm willing to admit that it's pretty unremarkable.

3) Naruto Ninja Council 2

 As with most licensed games, Naruto Ninja Council 2 wasn't a very well reviewed game. Not that it mattered, since I discovered the game long before american publications go their hands on it, via roms. Before I even knew what a Rock Lee was until I unlocked him.
 But I loved the Japanese rom, and I eventually bought the American release. I played the entire game over a dozen different times. I loved the game so much that I actually wrote a FAQ for it.
 I wrote a FAQ for it. Need I say anything else?

2) Assassin's Creed III

 Assassin's Creed II was phenomenal. Assassin's Creed Brotherhood was yet ANOTHER revenge story featuring Ezio in a smaller sandbox than before. Assassin's Creed Revelations was a boring glitchfest. I was pretty much done with Assassin's Creed by then.
 And then III came along, with a new control scheme, fun hunting mechanics, a setting that I adored and, of course, sailing ships. People call Connor boring, I call him solemn. He is not Ezio, he is not meant to be Ezio. I liked Ezio. I loved Connor.
 I really think that people disliked III because it didn't have as many fancy buildings, which is true, but it's also true of the era, and because they liked Ezio because he was a playboy. But Connor feels like a much more interesting character, a conflicted one, between different races, peoples and beliefs. His relationship with his father was one of the best parts about the game too.
 As it stands, Assassin's Creed III is among my favorites, alongside II and IV.

1) Quest 64

 This, along Final Fantasy VII, was one of my very first forays into RPG games. I first read about it in 'Club Nintendo', I think, and it piqued my interest almost instantly. I purchased the game and I loved it... even if I would later read 'Club Nintendo's' scathing review. Almost every single person that talks about the game hates it.
 And thus, a few years ago, I tried to give it another go, just to check if I was crazy or if they were crazy. I spent 5 hours straight playing the game. I guess you could say that I still love this game.
 I love the simple premise about finding Bryan's father, I love how the little twerp looks, I love finding spirits, I love how you mix magic elements to produce different powers, I love how using your staff strengthens you, getting hits makes you more durable and using magic increases your maximum mana. I love how defeating a boss always rewarded you with supplies and more spirits. I loved the silly NPCs. I loved the towns, which I vividly remain to this day.
 I also remember having to get a Controller pack in order to finally be able to save my game.

Review #572: The Last Airbender(Nintendo DS)

 Avatar The movie The game.

 There're two things that tend to suck in the world of gaming: Stylus controls and licensed games. The Last Airbender has both. And the movie it's based off received pretty scathing reviews. However, despite everything... it managed to be pretty decent.

 The game has you playing as both Aang, the last airbender, and Zuko, a firebender that wants to capture Aang. The game automatically alternates between characters as you go through the plot of the movie. As for said plot, it's told via a few in-game cutscenes, voiceless text, and through a few barely animated, mute hand-drawn sequences. It's not the prettiest of presentations, and it's better if you're familiar with the source material, although not a necessity, since everything that needs to be known in order to be cohesive is told.

 You tap on the screen with the stylus to move, and you tap on enemies to attack them. Holding L or R lets you bend elements, tapping on the screen will make Aang shoot air blasts and Zuko shoot fire balls. Holding L/R and moving the stylus from your character-outward will make Aang shoot a wide wind blast, which can reflect projectiles once upgraded or put out flames, while Zuko performs an evasive roll. Near the end of the game, Aang gets the ability to bend water from fountains and Zuko magma from torches. Lastly, Zuko gets a few acrobatic stages in which he gets to wall-run or jump from walls(by pressing L as he scales/runs across walls).

 What's most surprising about the game is how well the controls work. I don't think there was a single instance of either Zuko or Aang doing something I didn't mean to. Zuko's platforming challenges are simple, but are relatively fun to do since the controls work well. When you're not defeating enemies, which are very easy to defeat, you'll be solving simple puzzles, like activating switches, turning off torches, reflecting fireballs or moving water from one fountain to the other. They are very simple, but amusing enough as not to be boring. Hidden throughout the game you can find Health and Focus(Bending) upgrades, although you don't really need them... even if Zuko does get one rather difficult boss fight. Each character also has four upgrades which require Chi acquired by breaking objects and defeating enemies.

 The Last Airbender on the Nintendo DS is a simple, easy game that doesn't last more than a couple of hours. But considering how low the bar for licensed games can get... I'd say it's safely above the usual drivel. No one but fans of the franchise need apply, though.
 5.5 out of 10

Review #571: Thundercats

 This pussy's got no roar.

 While Thundercats was one of the greatest series in the 80s(Fight me on this, I dare you.), it hasn't aged all that well... which isn't too bad when you remember that it got an amazing reboot back in the 2000s. That happiness quickly fades when you discover that it was cancelled because the toys didn't sell well and as of 2018 we're gonna get a huge pile of vomit under a Thundercat fur-coat in the form of Thundercats Roar. But I digress, besides toys(Which were pretty great and it's a mystery why they didn't sell), Thundercats 2011 also gave us a videogame, often touted as one of the worst licensed games out there. Well, I can safely say that the game is better than anything that will come out of Thundercats Roar.

 The game covers the first half of the series, which means it starts from Grune's betrayal and Thundera's destruction to Lion-O and the cats climbing the ancient tower of trials and retrieving the Book of Omens. It's a decent chunk, although it's been compressed and shrunk to a measly 5 levels. The story is told via  heavily pixelated stills from the series that does the show no justice. Newcomers won't get a good idea of what the show is about, but fans will be able to follow the story through. After finishing the game, which shouldn't take more than an hour and a half, you can play 'Stage Attack', which is basically a Score run through any stage you pick. Lame. Performing certain feats, like finishing a stage in less than X amount of time, will unlock stills and concept art from the show, sadly, they are very pixelated.

 Thundercats on the DS is a 2-D beat'em up game, and boy, does the license lend itself to one. Featuring a decent amount of heroes with unique abilities and fighting styles, this could've been phenomenal. But instead, you only get to play as Lion-O. Lion-O has a 5-hit combo attack with the A button, a Jump with B, an aerial attack and an aerial downwards strike, he can also crouch(Which has no use in the game), do a crouch attack, slide and charge the attack button for a charging stab. By hitting enemies you can also fill a blue gauge below you health bar, and once it's full you can tap the screen for a powerful beam attack. Collecting Sword icons allows you to strengthen Lion-Os attack for the duration for the stage. Lastly, you can collect Thundercats icons, up to three of them, and use them to summon the other cats(Panthro, Tygra, Cheetahra and Willykit&Willykat) for a special attack.

 It's very basic, but better beat'em ups have done more with less, just look at the timeless Final Fight. But the problem is... well, there're many problems. Let's start with the summoned 'cats, there's no reason as to why you'd summon any other than the Willycats. Willykit and Willykat enter the screen and shower you with 3 random items, which can include MORE summon icons(If you're lucky you'll get an endless supply of them), healing items or power-up swords.These two make the unbearably long boss fights fair, and maybe, too easy. These two make the other three cats, whose summon attacks are basically interchangeable, useless. Besides stages three that has animal enemies, the rest of the stages have four types of enemies: Melee lizards that are easy to kill, annoying projectile lizards, flamethrower lizards, which are easy to take down but take too long since they soak up damage, and huge mechas that you can just spam attack and defeat.

 The biggest issue with the game is how sloppy combat is. For a feline, Lion-O sure ain't nimble, as once you commit to your attacks you can't cancel out of them, which is really weird since a few bosses, like the drill boss, require twitch reflexes. The end result? You'll press the A button about three times and then retreat, since you can't block incoming damage, you can only jump to evade, and you can't jump mid-attack to cancel Lion-o's slow animations. There're a few nasty design choices here too, for instance, when stages properly end can be a bit tough to pin point, and if you exit the game, say, on stage 4-2, when you next turn on the game, you'll have to redo 4-1 again. There're no checkpoints mid level either, so if you die on a boss battle it's all the way back to the start of the stage.

 Thundercats is a letdown. A huge letdown. The franchise deserved so much better. And they could've done so much better. The game commands 10 bucks nowadays, and for that money you could do much worse than Thundercats, but there's no reason to play this game besides trying to keep your memories of the series alive.

4.0 out of 10

Review #570: Samurai Jack - The Amulet of Time

 All exploring and no Aku Aku makes Jack a dull samurai.

 I confess, as much as I adored Gendy Tartakovsky's work, Samurai Jack was his one work that never jibed with me. However, I won't let that deter me from trying out a Metroidvania, arguably the greatest genre every created. You can quote me on that.

 The story is not well told at all, but it starts with Jack awakening in a strange land and told about the Amulet of Time, which he carries, and should do his best to gather the four gems it's made up for in order to confront Aku. And that's as much story as you get. The game, as any proper Metroidvania, is made up of various interconnected areas, areas that you can't fully explore until you get every possible upgrade to Jack's abilities. The developers tried their best to make areas feel like different lands, so each different section of the game's world has at least one 'town' section with its own 'sidequest', which usually ends with Jack defeating a boss and getting one of the four gems. It's not a bad set-up at all, albeit it feels like unnecessary fluff, however, it's not unwelcome.

 The game's biggest issue are its controls. Jack isn't a nimble warrior, he is a clunky brute! While his attack animations have a certain flair to them, his attacks feel slow and it feels like there's a certain delay before your attack comes out and another delay for Jack to finish his flourish, if you stopped pressing the A button, before you can move again. Ironically enough, as long as you mash the A button, Jack will continuously attack, and you can even change directions(Up, down or behind) before each attack, which makes it feel fluid. That's right, combat is fluid and clunky at the same time. You can run by double tapping either direction on the D-Pad, but you have to keep in mind that your first tap, for example if you're walking, counts, so sometimes your run won't come out if you just stopped running and then tried to run again. It's kinda hard to explain. Jumps are clunky too since Jack is as heavy as a sack of potatoes, and performing the walljump can be a big pain in the butt, since you need to hold the opposite direction against the while for a short while EVEN after Jack initiated the wall-jump animation, which can throw you off a bit. Lastly, there's the four elemental stones that grant Jack elemental powers which can be used to cut down enemies or obstacles. They are useless in combat, you must hold the A button for increasingly longer amounts of time(Your first charge is always earth, then you have to wait for the Fire stone to charge, and then comes Water, which means triple charge time, and then wind which requires you to go through the other three) making them useless in combat. You'll get much better results by not dropping your blade and just mashing A.

 The level design can be a bit tedious. While you can unlock means of fast traveling between zones, exploring levels can be tiresome when you're just searching for whatever previously unbreakable wall there is. They are just too large and too involved to warrant multiple second visits. Some areas can be particularly nasty since you don't know where you are jumping to, because the camera just won't show you enough of the screen. Finding brittle floor, breakable with the Stone power, can be a bit hard too, since you can't move the camera around.

 On the flip side, there're a few RPG elements thrown in for the mix. Defeating enemies has a random chance of them dropping equipment or healing potions. Equipment can be used to increase(Or sometimes decrease) your elemental damage and defense. It's not well explained, but basically, every element(Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, Darkness, Mech, Light) has its own defense and offense rating, and you don't know what those numbers mean(Fire means you deal more damage to fire enemies? Or means you do more damage to enemies weak against fire??) but higher numbers probably means something good. There's a single Health Upgrade waiting to be found in one of the early areas, hidden below a brittle floor tile, but after you get the Water stone you can simply go back to the starting area and exchange potions for Health and Special(To use the four elemental attacks) upgrades. The game starts off a bit on the tough side, since Jack can't tank much punishment, but by the end of the game you'll have health and defense to spare.

 Samurai Jack: The Amulet of Time is far from the better Metroidvanias you can find on the Gameboy Advance, but the game is worth a look if you are a fan of the show, for they managed to capture the show's look pretty well. It can also be a decent time waster after you've finished all three Castlevania Advance games.

 5.5 out of 10

Review #569: X-men - Reign of Apocalypse

 Apocalypse's reign means bad games.

 It's September of 2001, the GBA is about to celebrate three months of existence, and then you see it, 'X-men: Reign of Apocalypse', lying there on a gamestore's shelf. And how enticing it looks! A beat'em up that appears to look great and features the X-men, the hot property of the era. But, luckily, you don't get to purchase it at the time. 17 years later, here were are...

 Told through boring text-boxes implying dialogue between Wolverine, Rogue, Storm and Cyclops, as they go through 12 stages in order to defeat Apocalypse. Along the road they'll battle X-men such as Gambit and Phoenix, or villains, like Magneto or Pyro, without proper explanations. It would've been a nice bonus to unlock these other characters, but alas, there're no unlockables here, being limited to the first four previously mentioned heroes. Each character has their own attacks, but share the same story, dialogues and endings, so there's no reason to replay the game with the rest of the characters.

 The game plays like any classic Beat'em up game: Walk to the right, until you can't walk anymore and enemies spawn, defeat every enemy and then, and only then, can you move forward. Each character has access to a simple combo by mashing the A button(Except Cyclops, who, for whatever reason, has a single, weak punch), a strong attack with B(Which is pretty much useless), a health-consuming special move by pressing A+B, R to jump, half quarter circle+A for a special move and, lastly, a super move by pressing L after you fill the blue gauge below your health, by dealing and receiving damage. It's a decent amount of moves, but the game is so boring and dull that A will be all you need. Seriously, the backgrounds are lifeless and boring to the point of being forgettable, and they are poorly implemented, in Magneto's stage there's supposed to be a cliff that ends on air... on which you can walk on.

 But that's the least of the game's problems. For instance, I had trouble getting Wolverine's combo to come out. Sometimes I had to mash A and it would come out, sometimes it seemed like it depended on Wolvie's distance to the enemy. The game is just boring, there're too many enemies that are barely aggressive and don't have particularly interesting attacks. Bosses look cooler, quite cool as a matter of fact, but they are barely any harder than normal enemy fodder. Character animations are hit or miss too, Storm looks fantastic, Wolverine and Rogue have some great animations(Look at Rogue's walk cycle or Wolvie's keyframes on his attacks!) but Cyclops looks and animates horribly.

 X-men: Reign of Apocalypse falls below the mark because it's not just as average as you can get.... it's also boring. You can make simpler beat'em ups that are more fun, for instance, take the very first Final Fight game. It's a shame too, because you can tell that some talented people worked on some of the game's sprites.
 4.0 out of 10