Review #509: Crimson Tears

 Tears will be shed... but for many different reasons.

The cover might've worked if the characters weren't unknowns.

 Do y'remember Dream Factory, per chance? They were involved in Ergheiz, Tobal and The Bouncer. While Ergheiz and Tobal were fighting games, they also had a rogue-like RPG submode, remember? It kinda played like a beat'em, like The Bouncer. Well, Dream Factory collaborated with Spike to create a full game out of their tried and tired formula. Welcome to Crimson Tears, a beat'em up/rogue-like RPG fusion.

 The story... was way too weird and way too uninteresting for me to care. You play as any of three ridiculous looking cyborgs('Mutanoids' in the game), Amber, the leader that sports a glorified swimsuit, Kadie, a quirky blonde girlie girl that looks like any other fanservicey Japanese female character design and Tokio, a dude that's wearing a tank-to two sizes too small. And they collaborate to bring down other stripperific-looking androids. Character design is awful, the story is unintelligible Japanese mumbo jumbo that tries to appear deep but is just nonsense. You will not be playing this game for its story.

Character design is trash, but the game is worth it I swear.

 Luckily, the gameplay is pretty darn good. Square punches and X kicks, while triangle performs a super move that makes the Heat gauge rise(More on this later), circle shoots your equipped gun, L1 can be used to perform a short hop backwards, that seems useless until you realize that you're invincible throughout the entire animation and R1 can be used to block. The combat is amazing, making combos feels very organic and landing hits feels very satisfying. Different enemies have widely different attacks and tells, as well as some will react differently to different moves, so you can't just juggle every enemy with the same combo. It's a fantastic beat'em up engine. Now, add to this the fact that all three characters have very different movesets, even when they can equip the same weapon. Oh, weapons, there're swords, knives, claws and gloves and every character has different equipment. Tokio can only equip two-handed swords or gloves but is the only one that can equip a few exclusive guns. Amber can equip a knife, two knives, one handed swords or even two one-handed swords, as well as gloves. Lastly, Kadie is the only character that can equip claws, but she can also use one-handed swords and two-handed swords. And remember, even though Kadie and Tokio can use two-handed swords, they wield them in different ways. All this variety makes it rather disappointing that the game doesn't have a two-player co-op mode.

 Alright, so if the game is SO good, why did it fell through the cracks? Why doesn't more people know about this game? Well.... because this is also a roguelike game. There're eight dungeons, as well as a secret ninth in which you can unlock Retro Capcom costumes(Like Amber in Chun-li's clothes or Tokio in Ryu's), and they are all randomized squared areas with no personality. You go from room to room, searching for keycards to open up the teleporter to the next floor. I will admit that dungeons have very different themes, and each theme has a few exclusive pieces which in and of itself already makes it less repetitive than Persona 3's dungeons but still makes progression a bit rigid. You aren't waiting to play a new setpiece, nor will you get exciting moments like, say, an explosion altering the stage.... it's just square room after square room after square room after square room. 

Characters have the personality of a brick and less development than a rock.

 Then there's the difficulty: The game is hard, man! The first boss will easily kick your butt until you get comfortable with the controls. And as soon as you think you've got it, the game will throw blue-demon dogs at you, that steal your hard-earned items with a single bite and then escape. And then you're thrown into a massive 10-floor dungeon with two bosses. And all throughout the game you'll have to deal with Heat. Your character is an android, and as time passes he or she will overheat. Certain actions, like blocking, Super Moves or evading make it rise even faster and once it fills... you'll become extra strong and extra fast... as you defense gets halved and you'll start losing health constantly. Eventually, the Overheat status can go away... but it will leave you with less than 10% of your total health. There're items to reduce the heat gauge, but you can only carry up to 5 items of each, in an inventory that can only hold 24 items. 

 Alright, so just try to hoard and purchase as many coolant items as you can. Fair enough, but you also need to carry spoils from fallen enemies to upgrade your items. And you also need to carry your weapons. One will not suffice because weapons break with usage... and when you get hit, and if they do, they're gone for good. Items grow stronger the more you use them, but the more you use them the more they break. And there're only two ways to fix them: Be lucky and have them level up when you defeat an enemy... or run back to town and fix them for a fee. So: You need to carry multiple weapons, you need to carry coolants to keep your temperature in check, you also need to carry healing items, you also need to carry scavenge, you also need to be careful that your weapons don't break or get stolen. You can probably see how this game can get pretty hard.

The unlockable Capcom costumes are pretty rad.

 Did I mention that if you die you lose everything? You can also try to rescue your fallen character with one of the other two remaining characters, in which case you'll get to rescue your items as well. It's a tough game. But there's another thing that makes it even harder: The camera. You can't rotate it, so you will get attacked by enemies that you can see. You will fall into traps, like explosive mines, because there was no way that you could've seen them. The camera is the most annoying recurring enemy that you'll face in the game, so get ready to get hurt by stuff you couldn't even see coming.

 I kinda loved Crimson Tears. I'm used to playing rogue-likes and I kinda like them every now and then. The beat'em up mechanics are just brilliant, dealing with the various enemy types was a blast and the animation helped make every blow hurt. That said... this not a game for everyone, and not everyone will get as much mileage from it as I did. You need to be ready to deal with odds against you, with a camera that works against you and to stress over how little you've got left until you overheat and you're all outta coolants. It's a tough game, a game that won't reward your progress but where the fighting is the reward in and of itself as you take down enemies with combos of your own creation.

 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Crimson Tears

 Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Attack of the floating heads.

 Maybe I can squeeze one more game before New Year's Eve? Maybe. So what is Crimson Tears? It's a bizarre rogue-like/beat'em up fusion that's actually kinda fun. I already finished the first stage. I think the combat works well, but I hate the fact that weapons break, and the overheat mechanic seems a bit unnecessary.

 The graphics in the game look particularly good, but I can't say I enjoy Japanese oversexualized character designs, there's only so much I can take before I stop taking it seriously. To be fair, the male characters are wearing ridiculous clothes too, but to the same stripperific degree. The story seems a bit dumb too.

 In summation, I'm liking the combat a lot, but character design is awful.

Review #508: Road Trip

 Who said road trips where cheap?

The cover shows you everything that you should expect out of the game.

 Road Trip is not your average racing game, for instance, it's actually part of a longlived series of games called ChoroQ, of which about less than half of its games ever made it outside Japan. These games are based on a popular Japanese line of toy cars, so forget about realism.

 The main mode of the game is Story mode, but there's a 'Quick Race' option, to race in any of 8 tracks with a randomly pre-picked car against random cars as well as a 2 player mode with a few more options. Believe it or not, 'Adventure' is the main dish in this game, a single player mode in which you travel from town to town, performing in races and solving sidequests. This is not your average racing game.

You can even customize your car's speedometer. 

 In the game's world there're no humans, instead it's populated by sentient cars. The President wants to retire and in order to select his replacement he is holding a Grand Prix, so you, being a go-getter, decide to partake in it. But it's not that simple, first you must travel the world and place 6th or higher on six C rank races so that you can get a B-license, then get 6th or higher on the nine B rank races so that you can proceed to A-rank, and finally, after clearing all nine A-rank tracks in 6th or higher, participate in the Grand Prix.

 The story mode is pretty darn great since not only do you have your main goal of winning the Grand Prix, but you've also got a whole slew of side-activities. There're 100 stamps to get, which is done by fulfilling sidequests, simple things like talking to a certain car or a few more involved tasks, like rescuing a kidnapped car by waiting until nighttime and pushing a secret switch behind a bouncer. Some stamps also require collecthatons, like finding all hidden gems or getting every possible NPC into your very own town. There're 100 ChoroQ coins to collect, minigames to find and then there's the customization element. You can buy parts for your car, both cosmetics and inner parts that enhance your performance. As a matter of fact, and to the game's detriment, you'll need to constantly upgrade your car to stand a chance of beating every race. Either that, or do a simple sidequest in Payapaya Island about finding someone's wife that nets you the Jet Propeller, with this you can exchange a bit of fuel, by tapping or holding R2, to activate it and get insane speed. Proper use of the Jet propeller can make races much, much easier.

The racing part of the game is the worst part about the entire game....

 The cosmetic side of things is simple but endearing, there're many different rims and bodies to alter your car, and you can paint your car with a surprisingly robust RGB color dial. As for the other upgrades, these are a bit more in-depth, since, for example, off-road tracks may call for a different set of tires than the ones you've been using for wet pavement. Which sounds great since it adds a bit of strategy to the game, but there's a little big problem: Cash. Earning cash in the game is either tedious or hard. The first thing you can do is try to place high on races, which when you start out nets you up to 800 coins. After a while you can get two team-members and if they place 1-6th they'll also net you money. You can also equip a billboard on top of your car and promote something for a flat rate per kilometer. Eventually you'll realize that your safest bet is to do the first race of whichever rank you are in over and over again, since your CPU allies won't have too much trouble. Oh, and you should also buy parts for them. And then you have to race a bit so that they get used to the new parts. All in all, pretty boring. Worst part about it? You need to outfit your CPUs too since the Grand Prix is a Team effort and the result depends on both you and the CPUs' ranking.

 It's kinda sad how the most boring aspect of the game has to do with the racing, because the adventuring in the game is pretty much fantastic. You're free to explore the world of Road Trip at your leisure. There's a dumb fuel mechanic, but it refills every time you enter a house, and if it runs out you can simply press start and warp to whichever town you want. Regardless, the many different landscapes, the different themed towns and the day-and-night cycle make for a very engaging game, and you can't help but feel like you are in a tiny adventure as you cross bridges, highways and what not. Call me crazy, but the game would've benefited from making the races a sidequest rather than the main goal, or at least giving the player more avenues to make money in order to upgrade and customize your car. For instance, watching your city grow, as you recruit NPCs, is a much more rewarding endeavor.

....but the adventuring is fantastic.

 My final problem with the game were its controls, turning doesn't... doesn't work very well. Even after trying different steering wheels it never felt anything but stiff, only... slightly less stiff. The game could've benefited with drifting mechanics or something to make curves easier to handle. Ironically, for as tough as it is to steer, eventually your car will slide around as if driving through ice. The physics in the game are a bit janky too, your car may sometimes behave a bit weirdly once it hits the air, and the collision between cars feels off, there's no push-and-pull as you collide with another car side-by-side, you both simply kinda stick together. The latter might be intentional as you're supposed to be playing as toy cars... but that doesn't explain why colliding against walls only stops you dead on your tracks.

 The funny thing about Road Trip is that it's a racing game where the Racing part of the game is easily its weakest aspect. And I think the developers knew it which is why you only need to reach the sixth place in every race to qualify. Regardless, the real strength of the game lies in how well it manages to portray what the title of the game promises: A Road trip. An adventure on wheels that takes you from a Urban city, to a feudal Japanese-esque city, to a Casino city in the desert, to... other places that it's best not to spoil. So, it might not succeed at what the developers actually intended to accomplish, but it does succeed in providing a very interesting adventure game... featuring cars.
 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Road Trip

 Not the Road Trip I wanted.

That's a pretty good cover.

 Road Trip is a game I've been looking forwards to ever since I heard that it was a racing adventure game, something that I've been wanting to play since I sunk my fangs in Outrun 2006. But the game has been... a bit disappointing. It controls like butt. Seriously, turning the cars is very stiff, even more so than GTA III, which makes the experience a bit excruciating.

 As for the 'Adventure' part of the game, it feels a bit overwhelming. You're thrust in the middle of a city and you're free to basically do whatever you want. There're sidequests, parts to buy, cars to meet and races to partake in. But everything is so... so 'figure it out by yourself, kthxbye'. I dunno, back when I was younger I think I would've like all this freedom, but now I've grow fonder of structure, I would've preferred something like Pokemon 'Go to this city and challenge the race, now go to this other city, etc etc'. For instance, now I grew invested in the Fuji city sidequest about rescuing a kidnapped girlcar, so first I had to wait until it was night time, which was pretty boring, and then I got up to the praying box and... I think I'm missing the ability to jump? I don't know if it will be possible to jump at will, but the only thing that looks like the switch I was told about is a rope I can't reach. So I don't know what I'm missing, but I do know that waiting until it was nighttime was an absolute waste of my time.

 What deserves praise is the customization element. There're loads of part waiting to be bought, cosmetic and otherwise, and the paint customization is pretty neat. I'm riding a Yellow-and-Red tiny car with red rims that looks amazing. Amazing I tell you! Also, I don't think I'll be finishing this game before New Year's Eve, so this'll probably be the first game I finish in 2018.

Review #507: God of War II

 Our favorite angry psychopath is back.

Welcome to die. That quote never falls out of style.

 God of War 1 was pretty flippin' good, and y'know what they say, why fix what ain't broken? And that's the mantra they went with with this game, few things have changed... for good or bad.

 Remember how the first game closed with the narration saying that Kratos would go on to live as the God of War for ever? Well, scrap that, because after being betrayed by the God of Olympus he now finds himself stripped off his godly powers and his life... until a new benefactor joins the scene: Visit the sisters of fate and change your fate by going back in time and taking the Blade of Olympus, the sword that Zeus used to slay the Titans and that now holds Kratos' godly powers, for himself and exact your bloody vengeance upon Zeus. The story is much more straightforward than before, which isn't necessarily bad, but it has a few interesting turns of events. I guess everyone know by now that the game ends on a very nasty cliffhanger, so nasty that God of War 3 picks up exactly where this one left off.

A lot of cyclops were harmed during the making of this game.

 The brunt of the game remains the same as the first game: Weak slash and strong slash attacks, dodging by tilting the right analog stick, blocking and parrying, defeat enemies to collect red orbs to spend on upgrading your weapons and stats, etc. Most of Kratos' moves are exactly the same as they were in the first game, although he gains a few new ones, which, honestly, I didn't really use since the returning attacks are so good. Kratos still has access to magic, albeit his four spells are now different... although you still have a projectile spell and a petrifying spell, so you'll be right at home here. Pressing both analog sticks gave you Rage of the Gods, but now you have Rage of the Titans, which is basically the same: You are invulnerable and stronger for a short while.There're still QTE finishers if you decide to off enemies with grab attacks, as well as mandatory QTEs to finish almost every boss battle. Same ol', same ol'. It worked great the first time around and it still does. To the game's credit, the combat feels a bit tighter and smoother

 The previous game gave you an alternate weapon which was pretty neat... but now you get three! The Hammer, the Spear of Destiny and the Blade of Olympus, which you get on the very last boss so you'll probably only get to use it during a New Game+. Each weapon has their own moveset and style, which is pretty cool. Something that the game does very well is how it handles rewards: You'll get a new move or a new weapon pretty frequently, which helps keep the player engaged. You'll get the ability to slow down time when close to Fates' statues, which helps in combat and to solve puzzles, you'll get the ability to glide as well as the ability to reflect projectiles. Remember how the Medusas would try to petrify you? Now you can reflect their gaze and turn tables around. Yes, there're no truly groundbreaking additions to the game, but these few new abilities do add some spice to the game.

The Cerberus returns, but they are not as tough as they used to be.

 The previous game masterfully mixed combat with puzzle solving, so that you were never doing the same things for a long while and this game is no exception. The puzzles are easier than before, and I'm pretty sure that there's more battling than puzzles, but this game introduced a few boss battles that are actually puzzle bosses and are defeated by figuring out how to defeat them, rather than mashing square and triangle. I preferred the usual hack-and-slash bosses, but the few new puzzle-bosses add a new twist to the game. Beating the game also unlocks challenge arenas, just like the first game, which require both brawn and brawls.

 And now it's time for a few nitpicks: You can't turn on subtitles, which sucks. Beating the game let's you use different costumes, if you unlock them, but there's a few caveats, namely, they alter your stats. Want to use the Hydra armor? Tough luck, now you get more defense but less attack power. The God of War armor looks cool, right? Well, it makes you stronger and sturdier which might not be what you want. In my opinion, costumes are better if they are just cosmetics.

That's just the first boss. The game is every bit the visual spectacle that the first game was.

 God of War 2 is a fantastic game, but only a little teeny tiny bit better than the first game. A lot of fluff was added to make exploration more diverse: Gliding with your newfound wings, reflecting projectiles to open up doors, stopping time.... but that's all it really is: Fluff. The new additions to the combat are neat too, the new weapons are dope, even if I favored the Blades of Athena most of the time and getting to reflect projectiles in combat added a fun new twist to it.... but, but the game would've been almost just as good without them, because the game is better for it. The thing is... this was probably the safest way to go about making a sequel, since God of War 1 was already fantastic and changing things just for the sake of change rarely works well. As it stands, God of War II did what it had to do really well.
 9.0 out of 10

Now Playing: God of War II

 Bigger, badder, better and... balder.

Yup, a couple of years of rest didn't help, he's still angry.

 God of War 1 was pretty good, wasn't it? God of War II immediately sets out to outclass it with an epic starting level. Remember the Hydra? That was small potatoes, now you are fighting a giant colossus. And it's epic. QTEs return, I still hate them. Kratos' basic moveset also returns, which is kinda lame since he will keep the same moves throughout most of his games, and you'll have to unlock them level by level in each.

 Regardless, somehow they managed to make this game feel even smoother than God of War 1, and that game was butter-smooth. Something about how landing hits and the animation flow makes it all feel heavy, but smooth... you have to play it to truly appreciate it.

 I've only played the very first stage and I'm liking it a lot. If I remember correctly I liked this game a lot more than the first one when I first played it, but I'll keep my expectations in check... despite how good this first level felt.

Review #506: Grand Theft Auto III

 One for the history books.

Classic. That's what this cover says.

 Even if you don't play videogames you've heard of Grand Theft Auto, and we've GTA III to thank for that, the game that catapulted the series into the mainstream and became a trendsetter, to an even grander degree than Street Fighter II. For all intents and purposes, GTA III is an undeniable classic, but has it gone out of style?

 The game pits you as the mute, and then unnamed, Claude who gets betrayed, does the time... or some of it, since he gets away after the police vehicle transporting him gets assaulted. Thus begins Claude's story of taking jobs from the mob and the Yakuza until he gets to have his sweet revenge. The story is much less present than in future games, and while you can tell that a few characters, like Asuka, have very distinct and engaging personalities and quirks it's not as pronounced as it would be in future games. There're a few interesting characters waiting to be met, but you might be left wanting to learn more of them.

Claude be rolling, they be hatin'.

 While not the first sandbox game ever, this one is the one that set the standard. You're left to your own devices on a wide, open city. A random passerby looks at you funny? Kill him. Fancy a ride? Steal it. Fancy doing paramedic missions? Steal an ambulance and bring wounded people to the hospital. But be careful, cause too much mayhem and the police will be on your tail, ready to catch you, rid you of your weapons and forcing you to pay the bail. And once you tire of all of this, just run to the nearest named NPC and complete missions, from tailing people, murdering people, performing in races, stealing cars and what have you. There's a nice variety of missions to partake in and you'll never be doing the same things for too long, since they like putting twists here and there.

 Most of the missions involve driving and can be finished without stepping out of the driver's seat, and that's for the best since the shooting is clunky to say the least. You must get withing a certain distance of the enemy and hold R1 to aim at them, and then hope that your bullets travel in the right way towards their target. Some weapons will root you to the ground, while others let you shoot while running. Regardless, most firefights feel as if it depends on luck whether you get hit or not. Dying or getting arrested means losing all your weapons and ammo too, so you might as well just reload your savefile, lest you want to scavenge and spend money on weapons all over again. But don't get too attached to your supplies, the final mission takes away all your coveted guns and ammo. Lame!

The construction site is one of Liberty City's few memorable places.

 Mind you, while driving has aged better than gunning, it has aged nonetheless. Cars feel stiff to turn, yet will easily slip if it rains. They also seem very fragile and will spin out when bumping tiny obstacles. You have almost no control of the camera, you have to hold L2 to look to the left, R2 to look to the right and hold both to look behind you, but you don't get all 360 degrees of camera control. It's even worse on foot, since you can only look behind you by holding R3. To say that the camera sucks is an understatement. The cherry on top is that there's no big map of the Liberty City, you only get the mini-map... which is lacking icons for Pay 'n Sprays(Shops to fix your car or change your car's paintjob and thus elude the police) and Ammunation(Gun shops) which is pretty lackluster. Lacking a big map hurts the most though, some missions are tougher because you aren't too sure of where you're going to.

 Another issue is Liberty City itself: It's boring. The city is made up of a lot of grays and dull-looking buildings and architecture. It's a boring city that lacks color or memorable landmarks. Both issues are addressed in subsequent games, mind you, but it's hard not to notice just how dull GTA III's city is in comparison to future games' cities. Another problem are the gangs, you'll make enemies in the city and they're deadly, it gets so annoying that combing the city for stuff that you're missing, any of the 100 hidden packages or the optional telephone missions, becomes a hassle since there's always someone on your tail, and some gangs are downright deadly with their firepower. It also gets annoying since in this game the police will only target you, and if you fire back and there's a cop nearby, well, the cop will join the gang in taking you down. Fun.

The Police Department is a good place to stock up on shotgun ammo.

 All things considered, the game has held up relatively well. The controls while clunky are serviceable, and you can get used to them. You won't like how guns work, but you can get used to them. But even then, the missions in the game are pretty fun, and it's always interesting seeing what comes next. That said, while the game can still be fun to this day, there's something that can't be denied: Every single GTA game that came afterwards blows this one completely out of the water, to the point that there's almost no reason to return to this rendition of Liberty City unless you're interested in GTA's 3D roots. And that's the problem: Future games improved too much upon it, fixing what didn't work and polishing what did.
6.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Grand Theft Auto III

 The game that changed everything.

All other GTA games would follow the same style with their covers.

 Grand Theft Auto III changed things when it released, it created a blueprint that many games go follow for years to come, something that holds true to this day.

 It feels good to be back in Liberty City, somewhat. Doing the first few missions did bring a lot of memories back, of going to and fro the initial savepoint as I did missions. It also made me want to play Vice City instead, what can ya do?

 The game has aged a bit, cars control like sack of potatoes, I'd like to have more freedom with the camera and the combat is rather clunky, but the game still has some charm.

Review #505: DICE - DNA Integrated Cybernetic Enterprises

 It hurts how good it could've been... and how ridiculous the title is.

The cover tells you everything that you need to know about it. Well, almost.

 So, apparently, this game is based on an anime with the same dumb name. I don't know anything about the series, nor do I care, but here's what you need to know: In this game you play as any of 11 color-coded Power Rangeresque characters who can get on-and-off their robot vehicle at whim, and can turn said robot into a proper, wheeled vehicle. It sounds awesome, and it could've been awesome, but sadly, the execution left a lot to be desired.

 The game is made up of three different modes: Story, in which you tackle any of 16 missions, Training, in which you contend in Speed and Attack stages for high-scores and a silly, but welcome, VS mode in which you can battle another player or a CPU. The game lasts about 5 hours, and while you need an A or S rank on all 15 missions to unlock the 16th, the game is very generous, so it won't be too tough. Bonus characters, upgrades, Bots and training missions are bought on the 'Garage' menu, but I'm not too sure what triggers stuff to become available for purchase. After finishing the game, with an S on most stages, I was only able to purchase one of the four secret characters, and I don't know what makes the others become available.

Hopefully you like this stage, since you'll be coming here twice.

 The sixteen missions are comprised of three races and thirteen 'action' stages. Action stages are divided in 'Areas', each area acting as a checkpoint. In each area you either have to solve a simple puzzle, like destroying specific objects or enemies, destroying every enemy(The most frequent task) or putting the right sphere on the right hole. It sounds fair, but a lot of environments get reused, there're very few enemy types and most bosses will be fought twice. It helps to make the game grow a bit monotonous pretty early on.

 So how does the game play? Well, first comes the Robot mode, in which you ride your dinosaur. Here you can use your equipped Satellite Bot with the circle button, there's a bunch of different Satellites and they all offer something different, so try to experiment a bit. In my case, I adored the fire bot, great fire power but poor homing. The square button performs your only attack combo, X jumps and triangle is used to switch to your vehicle form. R1 blocks. The thing about your Dinosaur... is that this is how you'll spend most of the game: Riding it. Why? Simple, your dinosaur takes no damage, has a massive area of effect with its combo and can use the Satellite Bot. Damage incurred will instead make the dinosaur overheat, if the gauge fills to the top you'll be ejected and lose a bit of health. This heat gauge can be lowered by not taking damage for a while or simply hopping off your ride.

Your dinosaur robot is slow, but powerful.

 While off your ride most of the controls remain the same, but you lose access to the Satellite's offensive capabilities, instead, now you can use it as a shield. You'll become tiny when compared to your enemies, the range of your attack combo is pathetic and, more importantly, you'll take damage. Death is but a slap in the wrist, you start back at the last checkpoint with full health... but the timer doesn't reset, so it'll only hurt your rank. Maybe. It's possible to die a couple of times and still get an A rank, the scoring system is THAT lenient. But, back to being on foot: You'll never want to be off your ride, and when you are ejected, from overheating, it's in your best interest to just run around until your ride cools off and hop back in. It's entirely possible to fight enemies on foot, but why would you? You'll be bombarded front, right, left and center with energy pellets and only be able to deal pitiful damage within your pitiful range! Plus, you'll notice that you can use your ride's body to block a few incoming attacks as it cools down!

 And that's the biggest flaw with the game, how it squandered so much potential. Besides the three races, there're very few instances in which you'll be required to turn your Robot into a vehicle, which is kind of a loss. And your on-foot form is absolutely useless. They could've implemented a few instances in which they forced you to go on-foot, to add variety. Or even give the on-foot form more advantages, like having a rechargeable shield, or being able to cancel your attack combo with a dodge, thus, you could opt between your slow, but powerful ride or being a nimble threat. It could've been so cool!

The orange-bronze guy was my favorite character. He looked cool.

 And then you've got these eleven, cool looking characters who all play the same. Sure, the combos are different, but in essence, they give you the exact same result. Their dinosaur rides may look different, but they only vary in size and speed, when it comes to attacking they all might as well be the same. Well, I lie, at least two characters have flying rides, but they are a bit hard to control so I only played as them once and never looked back. As for the combat, not only are you fighting the same enemies over and over again, there's no fun to be had always repeating the same dull-looking combo. It doesn't help that you can't turn the camera while attacking. The Satellite Bots are a good addition, but it's not enough when you're left off fighting the same enemies over and over again, on the same environments, repeating the same combo and using the same tactics over and over again. If you like beat'em ups, like me, you probably won't mind too much, but it's hard not to expect a bit more out of such a fantastic idea.

 And that's all I've got to say about DICE - DNA Integrated Cybernetic Enterprises. It's a fantastic concept, and worth giving it a try just to experience it, but it fails to deliver gameplay matching the idea. While it's not very good, I think it's worth a look if you've nothing else on your backlog.
 5.5 out of 10

Now Playing: DICE - DNA Integrated Cybernetic Enterprises

 Not the best name ever...

The red dude's always gotta lead.

 Alright, so the title is a handful. And then you pop-in the disc and you'll be greeted by this cheesy, in a good way, opening song alongside some of the most ridiculous 'trying so hard to be anime' character designs ever. But then you start the game, and it's kinda, sorta cool.

 I love how the characters look like Kamen Rider/Super Sentai hybrid rejects, and I love how you can ride a dinosaur-robot that turns into a vehicle. I swear, the concept is brilliant. At its core, this is a beat'em up, you mash Square to use your dinosaurs and beat up baddies until it overheats and then you do the same but on the ground. Simple stuff, but I think the concept makes up for how simple it is. I think.

 Well, I'm off too scrap more baddies, it looks really promising.

Review #504: X-Men - Next Dimension(PS2)

  Nah, the game is still stuck in the third dimension.

The cover artwork is incredible.

 A few years ago I played X-Men: Next Dimension and I kinda loved it, but my console of choice has always been the PS2, so it was about time I gave it a go on it. I stand by what I said all those years ago, so I will try to focus on the differences between platforms.

 The first difference comes in the form of modes, PS2 has the Story Mode, VS(Player), Arcade, Survival and Practice. Notice anything? Two modes are missing. While I won't miss Time Attack and Team Battle mode, it kinda sucks that we get less stuff. Oh, and the X-Box version gets an exclusive character, Pyro, and apparently, a few exclusive stages. What does the PS2 version have over the other 2? Nothing. That's right, the PS2 has nothing over its peers.

The master of Magnetism against the guy with a metal-coated skeleton, I wonder who'll win....

 I lied, the PS2 version does have an exclusive feature: Excessively long loading times. It's not even funny, switching stages can take upwards 15 seconds to load, which is kinda nuts. I understand that stagess are large and feature multiple levels, but c'mon, the Gamecube managed just fine!

 Luckily, the game is as good as always. The collision detection can be a bit spotty at times but I loved the character roster, I loved having all these differently sized characters duking it out on large, open-ish areas. It's a fun game, but the PS2 port is the worst way in which you can experience it.
 7.5 out of 10

Review #503: Street Fighter Alpha(GBC)

 At least they didn't call it 'Street Fighter Color'.

I love it when Ken gets top-billing. He is my favorite Street Fighter character after all.

 Street Fighter Alpha and X-Men: Mutant Academy on the Gameboy Color have two things in common: They were both developed by Crawfish Interactive and they were both games I wished to own. However, while Mutant Academy was a bit of a trainwreck, Street Fighter Alpha is actually... rather good, for what it is.

 The good news is that the entire character roster has been preserved: Ken, Ryu, Chun-Li, Charlie, Rose, Sagat, Adon, Birdie, Guy, Sodom and the secret characters Dan, Akuma and Bison all are here and accounted for, with all their special and super moves. The bad news is that the game is Single Player only, and there're only two modes: Arcade Ladder and Training. Would it have been nice to have Multiplayer and other fluff like Survival? Yes, but does a Gameboy Color port really need them?

Considering it's a Gameboy Color game... it looks pretty spiffy and the animation is very smooth.

 X-Men: Mutant Academy's controls sucked, they were stiff and unresponsive. Well, being limited to two buttons and being developed by the same developer means that the game pretty much follows suit, depending on how you press the button, a light or a hard tap, changes your punches and kicks into their weak and strong versions. It doesn't work very well, but it's probably the only way they could make it work on the Gameboy Color. On the plus side, while normal attacks are still a bit cumbersome, the game registers inputs much more precisely, it's easy to perform Shoryukens and Hadokens. That said, while I could pull off Charlie's Sonic Boom with no problem, I couldn't manage to get the Sonic Kick for the life of me.

 Street Fighter Alpha con the Gameboy Color is a surprisingly fun game. You can't expect to have the same experience that you would on a home console, but it's rather fun for what it is and what it can do with the hardware it's limited to. The lack of multiplayer doesn't really hurt, since there's little in the way of depth that would make you want to become a competitive Street Fighter Alpha Color gamer.
 5.0 out of 10

Review #502: X-men - Mutant Academy(GBC)

 The only X it deserves lies over the game's title.

Same cover as the PS1 game, but not even half as good.

 Putting fighting games on a 2-button handheld is quite the task, but back in the day, it was our only choice when it came to fighting games. X-Men Mutant Academy was one that caught my eyes, reviews were pretty negative, but the screenshots looked oh so very pretty. And now, about... 15-ish years later, I can hold the game's cartridge in my hands and... I wish I couldn't.

 In the game's defense it offers a rather surprising amount of modes: Story Mode, in which you battle against every character, Versus Mode, if you have another person that owns the game, Battle Mode, 3 on 3 team-based battle against the CPU, Survival and Training. Honestly, it's a nice selection and way more modes than one would expect out of a Gameboy Color game. As for characters, there're 10 different characters: Cyclops, Wolverine, Gambit, Storm and Phoenix are the good guys, while you get Magneto, Sabertooth, Mystique, Toad and Apocalypse from the bad guys. Every character is outfitted with 2 special moves and a single super move.

The game only looks good in Screenshots.

 A punches and B kicks, and you have two types of each attack, one by tapping the button and another, stronger but slower attack by holding down the button. Each character has two super moves, but the controls can be rather stiff and unresponsive, charge attacks are nigh impossible to pull off. Supers can be performed once your rage bar is full, and this is done by pressing A and B, and only A and B, and the same time. The control scheme is, well, the only thing they could do with the Gameboy Color's limited buttons, but the unresponsiveness of the special moves leaves a lot to be desired.

 The game as an overall package is heavily lacking, however, for instance, the game doesn't have an internal battery, so you have to input the obnoxious codes to unlock Apocalypse and Phoenix every single time you boot up the game. Character sprites are very ugly and are oddly proportioned, which compliments the absolutely awful sound design.

Both of those things are supposed to be Gambit. They kinda nailed it. Kinda.

 It's a fact that you can't do much with only two buttons, but even then the game is devoid of any fun. I know that some of us clamored for fighting games on the go back in the day, but maybe that was a dream not meant to come true, at least until the Gameboy Advance entered the scene. Mutant Academy on the Gameboy Color is a terrible game that's better left off as a curiosity, it's more fun to see how they 'de-made' and crammed the 32-bit counterpart into this 8-bit cart than to actually play it.
 2.0 out of 10

Archile's Grab-bag: Christmas Cometh Earlier Edition

 It's been a while...

 It's been a while since I did one of these, but that's simply because I haven't been buying in bulk, and it'd be kinda lame to write a new entry for every individual purchase I make. Buuut a lot of mail has piled up, so it's time for another grab bag!

 DICE - DNA Integrated Cybernetic Enterprises: This is an animu game... I think. I'm not too sure, but I saw some gameplay and it looked pretty decent. Characters looked like Kamen Rider rejects that could ride robotic dinosaurs. Robotic Dinosaurs. Can you blame me?

 Grand Theft Auto III: Playing this game for the first time was a revelation, there was nothing quite like it at the time, even Driver 2 fell short of what GTA III did. Which makes it so interesting that sandbox style games have become the norm nowadays, and it was all because of this little game. I loved GTA III, but I think that my love for it diminished after playing Vice City, there simply was no going back.

 BloodRayne: I used to LOVE this game back in the day, there was so much fun stuff that Rayne could do, shredding enemies to bits while in slo-mo, jump around and shoot at two different targets at the same time, and feed from an enemy while using his body as a shield... fun stuff. I also distinctly remember being amazed at the graphics involving drapes and flags.

 BloodRayne 2: As much as I loved BloodRayne 1, I didn't play much of the sequel. I owned it on the PC, but it simply didn't charm me as much as the first one did.

 Fear Effect: I clearly remember not being interested in the Fear Effect saga at all when I was younger, as tantalizing as the ads for the second game were. But for whatever reason I got interested in the games a few days ago, so I'm gonna take them for a spin.

 Disney's Treasure Planet: One of Disney's most underrated films, I've been bitten by the Disney bug, so I'm gonna try out a few of their games.

 Disney's Treasure Planet:  ....which includes both versions of Treasure Planet. I might look into the Gameboy Advance game as well....

 Medievil II: I was never too interested in the Medievil franchise but I do remember giving Medievil 2 a chance and it failed to capture my interest. But I'm a bit curious about the game now, so...

 Medievil: ....so I'll be giving them another chance come Halloween 2018.

 Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas: San Andreas was the PS2 GTA game that I liked the least. I remember being so hyped about it, since you were going to be able to customize CJ, expand on the melee system and the ability to swim! But... the gang & thugs storyline didn't do it for me, having to mind CJ's weight was annoying and the melee system meant that you could only switch between styles. If you asked me, Vice City is still the best.

 God of War 2: After rediscovering how good God of War was I was left wanting more. So... it's time to replay God of War II!

Review #501: The King of Fighters Maximum Impact Regulation "A" (KOF: Maximum Impact Regulation "A")

 You can't keep calling it 'maximum' if you are three iterations in. Unless it's constantly escalating....

Alba Meira sticks out like a sore thumb alongside the other heroes.

 The King of Fighters Maximum Impact 2, AKA The King of Fighters 2006 is one of my favorite fighting games ever made, mixing the best of both 2D and 3D fighters alongside SNK's fantastic repertoire of characters. Turns out there was a sequel made, albeit Japan only, and now I finally got my hands on it, spent some time with it and am ready to pass judgment on it.

 Remember all the modes the previous game had? Gone. Most of them anyways, this disc only has: Time Attack, VS(CPU, Player, Solo and Team), practice and a now useless Online mode. Characters still have two costumes, the main costume and a new(sometimes great, sometimes ridiculous) one designed by Falcoon. Remember how each character had like eight different colors for each costume and the latter colors would be really intricate and homages to other things? Gone. Only four colors per costume, and it's the simple recolors that made it in. LAME. The game adds Ash Crimson, Blue Mary, Mizoguchi(From Fighter's History!) and a new character named Xiao Lon, who happens to be Duo Lon's step sister. The new characters are nice and dandy, however, Armor Ralf is gone. They claimed that he was too unbalanced, so instead of balancing him, SNK just removed him. The rest of the cast has been tweaked, some even have new moves, but since there's a total of 40 I won't be going over every single change. The stage roster has been changed a bit, a lot of stages are gone, some are new, some return and a few have been tweaked.

Ash's new alternate costume is... the least said about it the better.

 The biggest addition to the game is the change to the more traditional 3 on 3 formula of the series, basically, you pick three characters and the fight isn't over until either team is completely defeated. There's no tagging, every round lasts until either character falls and then switches with the next teammate. I really don't care about this new mechanic, but you can do simple single fights in versus if you're so inclined. As for the game itself, you've got four attack buttons(Two punches, two kicks), you can sidestep, block(Hold back on the joystick) and parry attacks too. There're command special and super moves, the latter which consume energy from an energy gauge. The thing I love the most about the game is how you get attack strings, like Tekken, as well as command moves, like Street Fighter, and in my opinion is the best mix of both 2D and 3D fighters. Everything feels nice, the mechanics and the physics all compliment each other to make for a fantastic, solid fighting game.

 As for the new characters, first is Ash Crimson. He is my favorite charge character of any fighting game ever and I love his debut in 3-D. I will keep using him for sure His alternate costume is hideous. Xiao Lon has a simple rekka special move and a few zoning tools, but what makes her interesting is that she can switch between three different stances with completely different normals. She's not my style, but I love the design and all her hidden weapons, definitely a nice addition. Her alternate costume is Japanese fanservicey garbage, but her normal design is really neat. Mizoguchi is a bit of a joke character, with a ridiculous alternate costume and somewhat jokey movesets, seriously, he can even throw his sandals! While calling him a shotoclone, in this game, is selling him short, I still didn't like him too much. Finally, Blue Mary. I absolutely adore Blue Mary, one of my favorite 2D female fighting game characters ever but... I didn't like her too much in this game. She is a bit defensive, and has attacks that turn into grapples but... I just didn't like how she worked in the game. Her alternate costume is an insult to the character.

Mizguchi can throw his sandals as an attack. Or he could use his knees.

 I really liked having four new characters, I mean, I already loved Maximum Impact 2, so new characters meant only good things for me. Sadly, as a package, this game is lacking. We're missing a ton of colors, the best colors and homages to SNK's history in fact, we're missing the amusing challenge mode, we're missing the story modes, we are missing a ton of fluff that made Maximum Impact 2 a phenomenal game. So, if you're going to primarily be playing by yourself, get Maximum Impact, the new characters are fun, I love having Ash and Blue Mary(Even if I didn't like using her) in the roster, but sadly, there's not much to do by yourself.
 8.5 out of 10

Review #500: Shin Megami Tensei - Persona 3 FES

 And to celebrate review #500 I torture myself with Persona 3.

Not a good cover...

 Persona 4 is one of my favorite games of all time and my favorite PS2 and PSVita game. And I also happen to adore Shin Megami Tensei, particularly the games that came after Nocturne. And I had gone all this time without playing Persona 3, a game some people claim is better than 4. They are wrong. But more importantly, I thought that it was a game befitting my review #500 and... it was a poor choice.

 The game pits you as the new transfer student to Gekkoukan Highschool, and everything is fine and dandy until the Dark Hour happens, a 25th hour that most people don't know exist since they get transmogrified into coffins. But a select few can remain conscious during the Dark Hour, and an even fewer can master the powers of Persona, avatars that do the fighting for them. As it so happens, you can use a Persona and you're soon recruited into the SEES, a band of highschoolers that make it their job to defeat Shadows, enemies that appear during the Dark Hour, and climb the Tartarus, a tower that appears at this hour. The entire game takes place throughout an entire year, during which you'll have to juggle your studies, your social life and your Tartarus escapades.

The new costumes become useless almost as soon as you get them.

 I liked the plot, I found the idea of a 25th hour pretty original, and I liked the characters. While none of them felt as fleshed out or deep as the Persona 4 cast, they are a likable bunch. The entire ambiance of the game is darker and more moody than in Persona 4, tragedy and loss hit closer to home here, and the overall aesthetics make it a moodier game, which is alright in my book.

 Alright, so the game is divided in days, and Monday-through-Saturday you'll be attending school, except while on holidays, while Sundays are your days off. Every day is divided into Morning and Evening, during the Morning you can visit different places around town, buy weapons and items, engage in activities to boost your social skills(Academics, Charm and Courage) or engage in activities with other characters and advance their personal plots and substories, creating 'Social Links'. And it's in your best interest to level up as many Social Links as you can, since this will give you bonus experience points on fused Personas. Plus, these social links tend to be very engaging, although I didn't feel they were as emotional as the ones in 4. It kinda sucks that you can't establish Social Links with your male team members, and maxing the female Social Links means making them your girlfriends, which if you want your character to be a player is alright, but it kinda sucks if you only want one waifu for laifu. And then you've got the Evening, during which you're much more limited: You can visit the mall to buy provisions, visit the Velvet Room(To fuse Personas or undertake quests), boost your social skills or engage in one of the only two Evening Social Links.... or you could visit the Tartarus.

Attacking shadows before they hit you is vital to surviving your trip throughout Tartarus.

 The Tartarus is when the game becomes a proper RPG, you go from dull hallway to dull hallway, climbing upwards and defeating enemies in turn based combat. No random encounters here, you can see enemy encounters as black blobs, land a hit without them noticing and you get a free turn, get attacked first and they get the free turn. But first, let me talk about the Tartarus, the most boring dungeon you'll ever face. Most of the RPGing in the game is spent here, and you must climb about 260 randomly generated floors that change every time you visit them. There're no puzzles, there's no fancy design: It's nothing but hallways and square rooms. You can only save your game at the bottom floor, and you'll find two-way teleporters every 10 floors or so, which also marks a boss room.

 To add insult to injury, not only is the Tartarus monotonous to look at and explore in, the game also makes use of a fantastic fatigue system. Basically, characters get tired and their performance decreases. And if they get tired they'll be unavailable for exploring for a few days. And even better, the fatigue gauge is hidden, so you don't know when your characters will get tired. It's completely idiotic because Persona 3 requires grinding, it doesn't matter how good your strategies are if you and your party can't tank the hits, or if you don't have access to good Personas because your level is too low. So, you have to grind and you also have to be wary of the hidden fatigue system. But what's even better, throughout most of the game you'll be facing monthly bosses that happen every full moon. Whenever the day comes there's no going back, and you can't go back to grind, so it's entirely possible to get stuck in an unwinnable situation, either because you don't have a proper Persona or your level is too low because the fatigue system was so annoying. It didn't happen to me, but it could've, and that's horrible game design.

You have to shoot yourself in the head to unleash your Persona. Because Japan. 

 And as you climb the Tartarus, trying to get to the two-way teleporter you'll be running out of Mana, so... you'll soon learn that it's best to climb to the top, ignoring enemies unless they're in your way, get to the checkpoint teleporter and then climb again, this time around grinding for experience points, items and Personas. It's bad. Luckily the combat system and the day-to-day activities and social links are fun, because the Tartarus is horrible, and the Fatigue system is one of the most stupid ideas I've ever seen in an RPG. Ever. On the flipside, as you level up the fatigue gauge increases, so you can go on longer without getting tired. It still sucks, but it gets more lenient and thus slightly more fun. Slightly.

 But whatever, you attacked a blob and you started a fight, what happens next? You use your turn to attack, cast a spell, switch your persona, use an item or attempt to run, and then it's your teammate's turn and... it turns out you can't issue commands to your allies. Yes, throughout the entire game you'll be at the mercy of your three computer allies. And they are idiots. People claim that you can issue 'tactics' and thus it's a non-issue, but they are lying. The AI will never, EVER cease to amaze you in their stupidity. I may issue everyone to 'Knock down' the enemy, but they will ignore it. I will set my healer to 'Heal/support' and she'll use a full-healing spell on a character that didn't need it or won't realize when it's better to use a single-team mate healing spell or a party based one. This one time Yukari, my designated healer, was set on Heal/support, but instead of healing me, and keep in mind that if your character dies you lose, thought she could take on the boss and.... missed. And had the boss used another spell, instead of a low-accuracy Light spell, it could've costed me the entire boss fight. Because she decided that it was a better idea to attempt to attack the enemy rather than heal me. Trust me, the AI is stupid, the AI will cost you a few fights(which could mean losing up to half an hour worth of progress if you're grinding) and you'll hate them every step of the way.

Hopefully you enjoy the battle system, because you'll have to grind quite a lot.

  Once you get over how dumb the AI is, you'll discover that the combat system is actually quite brilliant, which is a no brainer considering it takes after Nocturne. Basically, hitting an enemy with their weakness knocks them down and gives you an extra turn. If you manage to knock down every enemy you can use a full-party attack that deals massive damage. The same holds true for the enemy, while they don't have the 'All-out attack' they can knock you down and get extra turns. It's a fun system that would've been even better if you could control your allies. Landing the final hit on an enemy, finishing a battle with an all-out attack or sometimes just because, after a battle you'll be given the opportunity to earn a new Persona.

 Personas are kinda like Pokemon that only the main character can equip. You can carry about 10 of them, and each Persona has their own skills, resistances and weaknesses. Sadly, Personas can only learn so many attacks and they need a lot of experience points to level up, so you'll be fusing them in the Velvet Room over and over again to get better Personas. Sadly, this is an older Shin Megami Tensei game, so you can to keep selecting the two Personas you want to fuse until the resulting Persona shows that it will inherit the skills you want it to inherit, no pick-and-choosing here.

If the reaper comes for you.... RUN!

 This being a SMT game also means that it's actually quite challenging. Many times the answer to a difficult boss is having the right Persona. Sadly, and particularly on the first few Tartarus boss battles, you'll be forced to babysit the AIs and act as the healer, since your CPU allies simply won't be able to perform the job of healers and it'll be up to you. Which kinda sounds like a nitpick, but it sucks having to maintain the health of these useless AIs. If only I could've issued orders this wouldn't have been so annoying. But nope, gotta sit there, spam healing spells and hope that these AIs dish damage. Luckily, later in the game you can relegate another AI as the healer and you can do the fun stuff.

 Lastly, this is the FES rerelease of Persona 3, which means that it has new Persona, new weapon-Persona fusion things, a few new events, new costumes and a few other niceties, as well as a pretty lengthy, and very hard, second story: The Answer. It's pretty lengthy and it goes a bit more in-depth with the cast, but it's not very interesting. Also, there're no social links and no Persona compendium(Basically, you can't summon Personas that you used to own).

You can doze off during class to attempt to mend your tired status.

 Persona 3 is.... very dated. Having played Persona 4, it was almost impossible for me to tolerate this one. Not being able to directly control your AIs is idiotic since the AI sucks. The Tarturs is very boring, and while Persona 4's dungeons were also made up of hallways and square rooms, at least they had different themes which made them feel more unique. The Social Links, while interesting, didn't really do it for me as much as the ones in Persona 4 did. That said, I can appreciate all it did for the franchise, the Social Links were a brilliant idea, having to juggle your academics and your social life with battling was very original and basically set the blueprint for future Persona games.

 What I can say in the game's favor is that it really gets better as you go along. The more you play the more you get invested in all the different subplots, the more you level up the longer you can go ignoring the horrible fatigue system and the more you level up the less a mistake from your AI allies will cost you. If you really want to play Persona 3 do it before playing 4, lest you realize just how much better this game could've been.
 7.0 out of 10