Review #480: Resident Evil 6

 It only took me, what? About a year?

That's the ugliest 6 I've ever seen.

 Resident Evil 6 was very polarizing to say the least. Back when it first released, it was subject to either very high scores or very low scores, Destructoid's Jim Sterling even gave it a brutal 3 out of 10. After playing through the game.. I think it's high time people realized that Resident Evil was always about the action first and stop being so harsh on 4, 5 and 6!

 The story... is divided into 4 interwoven, 5-chapter campaigns. First we've got Chris and Piers', who you are told is the most action based... which is a lie, it's got as many chase sequences and vehicle sequences as the rest, and it even has its slow, horrory moments. Then there're Sherry and Jake's, who's campaign follows Resident Evil 3 scheme... except not, the Ustanak, this game's 'Nemesis', is just another element of a bigger setpiece, always appearing when the script says so, and there's always one way of taking him out or avoiding him. There're chase and vehicle sequences too. Leon and Helena have the next campaign, touted as the one focused on horror... which is not true either, the first two chapters are glorious, yes, but the next three feature just as many vehicle and chase sequences as the rest. The final campaign is unlocked after finishing the other three and is the plot dump campaign in which the 'why' and 'how's are explained. There're vehicle and chase sequences too. What I mean to say is... the idea that all four campaigns are focused on different themes or gameplays is a lie, all four campaigns are pretty much the same. As for the overall story.. it's pretty silly, although it tries to take itself more seriously than ever before, there're no crazy scientists, mad dragqueens or weird, pale midgets. Overall, the story was entertaining enough, but not something that moved me or hooked me.

The chaos had never been this much wide-spread before. The stakes are higher than they've ever been in REvil.

 I think that dividing the game into four campaigns was a mistake though. I would've much preferred a more focused campaign, and one that didn't move in a breakneck speed. Y'see, something that will probably turn off quite a few is the fact that the game advances in a set-piece to set-piece fashion. There's never a dull moment, and if the action slows down is because something is about to happen soon. Even Leon's first two chapters, which are rather slow-paced, are like this. Sidenote, the first two chapters in Leon's campaign are exactly what a story-driven Zombie game should be like. Overall, the game is rather lengthy, chapters take about an hour to complete, Leon having the longest chapters(Some going as far as 1:30) while Ada has the shortest(Most shouldn't break an hour).

 As far as gameplay goes, it's pretty much an evolved version of Resident Evil 5's over-the-should third-person shooting mechanics. There're a ton of new maneuvers, not only can you move while aiming, you can also dodge to the sides or even jump back. You can lay on the floor or roll on the floor as you aim and shoot! While characters are as heavy to turn and as agile as a sack of sand, the new abilities do make for more frantic action. Melee can now be performed at will by tapping R1, although the really strong melee moves are reserved for dazed enemies, by hitting their limbs. There's a new stamina gauge that governs how much you can use your melee attacks, so you can't just spam them. Overall, I adored the new additions to the gameplay.

For as many complaints as the camera received, I felt it was just fine.

 One thing I really liked were the new enemies, the J'Avo. These monsters will mutate in different ways depending on where you harm them. Hit their torsos? They might develop an armored body. Hit their legs? Now they turn into half-man-half-flesh-grasshopper-thing. While there's not a huge amount of variety, there was enough to keep things interesting. Leon and Helena get exclusive enemies in the form of zombies, which may mutate into red zombies, as well as fat and screaming zombies, but I didn't care too much about them, same old, same old.

 There's a new Skill system in place too, sometimes enemies or boxes may drop skill points when felled, which can then be used on different passive skills. While you can only have three at a time, finishing the game lets you have up to eight different, three-skill sets to switch around mid-gameplay. A ton of people disliked the new system since 'you may be running out of ammo or health and get skill points instead', but... how the hell did you run out of ammo? Health is restored to full upon dying and restarting on a checkpoint, so being low on life is no excuse, and as for ammo... if you are using your melee attacks, which if you've been playing REvil since 4 you should know how strong and useful they are, you shouldn't be hurting for ammo. I will admit that ammo is limited, but I never, EVER found myself without ammo. EVER.

Some setpieces are shared between campaigns, if you play online, you can have four different players together at times!

 I've heard horror tales about AI Sheva's uselessness in REvil 5, but I found AI allies to be pretty darn useful. They've removed their inventories, so the will never pick up stuff, which is good news for people that play in Single Player, although the real-time menu remains, which is kinda annoying in my opinion. They've tweaked how herbs work, and you must now store them in your pellet case and then eat them as individual pellets? It's kinda cumbersome, since it involves going through a second inventory(Directional pads switches weapons, triangle is your entire inventory) just to put them inside the case. It also doesn't make much sense what your maximum capacity of pellets is, since sometimes it wouldn't let me store them even though I shouldn't be hitting the max. Weird.

 Still, the worst returning offender is, or rather, are... the QTEs. There're way too many QTEs, and they are incredibly annoying, as per usual. And you CAN turn them off... if you set the difficulty to amateur. Seriously??? I read some complaints about the camera, and while it is true that I felt that your character took up way too much screen time, it never got in my way. I always knew what was going on and didn't have issues figuring out where to go, and no, I didn't have the patch that let you zoom-out the camera. My only issue with the camera is during the way too frequent chase-sequences. which have you and your partner escaping from different things while the camera does its best to disorient you. Speaking of disorienting, Capcom thought it'd be cute to give all four couples a different HUD, which can be a bit of a shock until you get used to them.

The game looks amazing, and the framerate is pretty stable to boot.

 Mercenaries return, although there are only 3 scenarios. Mercenaries is a mini-game, unlocked from the start, that has you trying to defeat as many enemies that you can while under a time limit, which can be extended in various ways. There're unlockable costumes for every character, but the guys get stupid, joke costumes and the girls get fetishistic slutty cop costumes, basically, none are worth it. There's a new, online-only, mode, 'Agent Hunt', in which you can invade other people's campaigns and play as the monsters, trying to kill the players. I didn't get to try it out, but it sounds amusing.

 In an era where games had already started to be released incomplete, Resident Evil 6 is quite the package, featuring a very lengthy campaign, with a few neat extras. Look, if you're a die-hard Classic Resident evil fan, this game won't sway you, and the new setpiece-to-setpiece pace will probably alienate a few, but as someone who likes this brand of third person shooters, with heavy and slow characters and the horror elements.... I can't help but like the game a lot. That said, I think I prefer Resident Evil 5 for the simple fact that it had a more focused campaign, and one that had much better pacing. Look, the setpiece-to-setpiece approach makes for a very exciting game, but there's not much build up, and as such, these epic, semi-scripted moments lose a lot of their impact. And as much as I adored the new gameplay elements, the campaigns get very repetitive with the multiple tacked-on vehicle and chase sequences. And the QTEs need to follow in the way of the dinosaurs.
 8.0 out of 10

Review #479: Corpse Party - Blood Drive

 This game is a corpse, but there's no party to be had playing it.

Damned, tempting extras at a low price!

 So there I was, browsing Play-Asia for a new purchase and I came across Corpse Party Blood Drive's Everafter Edition at 20 bucks. 20 bucks. It came with a fancy box, an artbook and a soundtrack CD, of course I had to buy it. I had to. Plus, it was a franchise I was looking to get into, even the 3DS re-release of the first game was on my sights. Was. After playing through Blood Drive I've no intention of ever dabbling in it again. Ever.

 I came at Blood Drive knowing NOTHING about the previous games... which is a big mistake. Blood Drives assumes you've played previous games, even the ones that never made it outside Japan, and if you want to get the full experience, it's better if you've dabbled in side material too. Still, while I got half the plot, what little I got I despised. Where should I start? There're overly long drawn-out descriptions of things that happen all the time, which are so boring to read. And this comes from someone who adores visual-novel styled games like Phoenix Wright, Danganronpa and Lux Pain, to name a few. The dialogue and script are very poorly written, it's hard to take anything that's happening seriously when everything sounds so... like it's trying so hard to be 'cool' using profanity and expletives, which has the offset of coming out as very cringey since the game uses a super-deformed style for the 3-D graphics, and the 2-D art is so childish and looks like your average, generic anime. And it tries so hard when it comes to describing gory stuff, it tries SO hard, but it's so hard to take seriously. And the characters? Every single character is a walking anime trope. You've even got Magari who represents everything wrong about anime, walking in a glorified string bikini while inside a zombie infested, decrepit and rundown school. It makes no sense and looks so stupid that makes it impossible to take anything that's going on seriously. As for the plot itself, EVEN if I knew the series' background I would have found it boring and cliched, ending with the characters having to save the entire world. I'm not kidding.

Ayumi is an idiot, coming back to Heavenly Host was a big mistake, and so was joining her in her quest.

 And when the game isn't boring you to tears, you'll be walking around the Heavenly Host high, a rundown highschool filled with zombies, ghosts, fleshy red things on the walls and broken floors. The entire gameplay portions of the game takes place in here, and all you'll be doing is running around, collecting items, solving puzzles(all of them are of the 'put the correct item in here' variety) while avoiding pursuers and traps on the ground. But nothing works well, nothing.

 Let's start with exploration: You've no map and everything looks the same. Seriously, there's no way to know where you are because there're no unique landmarks or what have you to guide you. And you have to go round and round and round searching for objects that need to be used in different places in order to proceed. The game is divided in 10 chapters, and every single time you'll have to retread old ground since for whatever reason objects appear out of thin air from chapter to chapter. It doesn't make sense. It's particularly egregious in a few chapters that after triggering something, new stuff appears in rooms you've already been to, with no hint whatsoever, so you are expected to go round and round and round and round again, examining every single room, again. It's so boring.

It looks scary, but it isn't. Trust me, I was deceived too.

 You are given a flashlight, which runs on batteries, but.... by pressing Select you can make batteries unlimited. Just like that. Your character also seems to run out of stamina pretty fast, which is supposed to make it so that you simply can't run away from pursuers, but... it makes exploration a drag, since you walk oh, so slowly. Plus, every now and then you'll be given choices 'enter the hole or 'do nothing', 'trust her' or 'ignore her', and if you choose the wrong answer... you lose. Just because. It's not fun, these 'bad endings' are interesting either since you don't even get a CG, just a boring, over-drawn description of what murdered you. Hopefully you saved earlier, because it's always fun to lose because of a random event that has a 50-50 chance of survival.

 As mentioned before, there're pursuers in the game, usually black ghosts. Once one tracks you, it will pursue you until you die or you run an absurdly long amount of time. You can hide in closets, but every single time I tried it I got caught, or... you can run towards a save spot, save and reload. Bang, the pursuer is gone. That's what I did, once I figured it out, since pursuers are relentless and once one spawns there's basically nothing else you can do, unless you have a Talisman which will instantly kill it. It's particularly bad because you also lose health from various traps laid on the floor, such as broken glass or splinters, which are hard to avoid when you're running away... which is probably why save spots heal you completely.

As dangerous as a super-deformed mannequin can be.

 Alright, so the exploration is boring, the chases are a drag and the visual novel parts put you to sleep, what else could the game screw up? Well, it runs like hot garbage. There're load screens everywhere: Open the menu? Loading screen. Use an item? Loading screen. Enter a room? Loading screen. And these are pretty long, 4-5 seconds affairs(Sometimes more) and they pile up because they are so frequent. The framerate is particularly pathetic, but once you turn on the flashlight, oh boy, does it get bad, hopefully you like playing as if your characters were underwater. Pro-tip, turn Flight Mode On, it makes it run a tiny bit better. I heard that the game was also prone to freezing, but I didn't come across any, albeit I did use Flight Mode most of the time I played the game.

 There's a bunch of extras to collect, like extra chapters, which are entirely in visual-novel form, and 'Name Tags', from dead alumni, and each tag comes with a colorful description of how the person died. And that's about it.

The game is probably more enjoyable if you can't understand the drivel they are spewing.

 Corpse Party - Blood Drive is a bad game. It is. Even, even if you liked the story, maybe you've never watched anime before so everything seems new to you, or maybe you're a hardcore anime nut and don't care that anime recycles tropes and cliches, even then... the game runs so poorly, it's an absolute dredge to play through. There's not a single redeeming quality in Corpse Party, and I usually like to find redeeming qualities. But there's none here. This game should've stayed in Japan, alongside the other games in the franchise that never made it through.
 0.5 out of 10

Review #478: Galerians - Ash

 Pretty Psychic Boys return, now with more Aliens and less Friday the 13th.

Now with more sci-fi and less horror.

 Remember Galerians? You probably don't, it was this obscure PS1 survival horror game featuring kids with psychic powers. But that's OK, the game uses footage from the movie, Galerians - Rion, to provide a lengthy recap... or you could read the game's instruction booklet for an even lengthier recap. The game spoils the original, so I will do so as well.

 Six years have passed since Rion gave up his life in order to stop the evil super computer Dorothy, however, Rion, being an AI, got stuck in a loop fighting her inside the data world. Lillia accesses the data world and managed to pluck Rion right out of it and download his conscience into his body, which she preserved after that faithful fight. Everything would be honky-dory, but the last remaining humans are now trapped in a building as the Last Galerians are making their way up, and guess what, only Rion can stop them. Remember how creepily eerie the first game could be? That's done, Galerians - Ash went towards the sci-fi route, specifically, Aliens. You're still fighting psychic loons and the such, but the ambiance and setting have much less horror in them, and it's more about surviving alongside the group of soldiers that distrust Rion. As for the plot itself... try not to think too hard about it.

Even the monsters lack a je ne se quoi that made the menagerie so much more creepy in the first game.

 Much has changed, but much also remains the same. Let's go over combat first: Rion now has 180 degrees of freedom when it comes to fighting, tank controls are gone, you can lock-on enemies, strafe around them, dodge around them(Circle button) and even guard by holding R1. Whereas in the previous game you had different levels of charge for your attacks, in here you have to charge the entire gauge before attacking, Nalcon being the only power that can be used with a single tap(But it's better if you charge), which takes a while getting used to if you come directly after finishing Galerians. Nalcon, Red and D-Felon, you psychic powers, return, but there're two new drugs, Bustanor, homing energy boomerangs of sorts, and Breakaron, devastating lightning. Bustanor is incredibly useful and Breakaron is incredibly powerful but you'll rarely get to use them since they come in very small supply. Also, I think you can accidentally skip them if you don't talk to the right NPC when they become available. Speaking of skipping, the Skip drug returns and now it can permanently boost any five of your powers and your shield, up to level 3, you usually get them after finishing a boss, but there's four hidden ones.

 The combat is much more fun than before, that's for sure. Each power takes a different time to charge, and you get rooted to your place when charging, but you can cancel it at any time by dodging. It's faster, and you gotta consider that every enemy is particularly susceptible to different powers: Bio-Plants fall faster to Red, human-like enemies get wrecked by D-Felon and robots can't do a thing about Bustaron(But you'd better save it up for the final bosses), and while Nalcon isn't particularly effective against anything, a few enemies resist it rather well, a tradeoff for being so plentiful I guess. There're RPG elements in place here too, every single enemy you defeat will drop a supply item or a permanent upgrade, either to your HP, AP or your maximum capacity for every drug, which means that the more you kill, the more each drug refill will last you and the more damage you'll be able to resist. Nalcon, Red and D-Felon are plentiful enough so that you can take a break to grind for stat upgrades or hope for recovery items and don't be too concerned about running out of ammo, just don't take it for granted. And the game sorta wants you to do it, enemies will respawn for a long, long while before stopping, heck, one of the hidden Skips requires defeating 600 enemies in a particular room. Yes, this means that the game went Resident Evil 4(Focusing on Action, and making ammo more plentiful) before Resident Evil 4, fancy that eh!

And you thought the Arabesques from the first game were tough!

 The AP gauge returns, for the uninitiated, AP is a gauge that once full will make Rion go berserk('Short'), he becomes invincible and every non-boss enemy dies by just looking at him funny... but it constantly saps your HP, you're reduced to a very slow walk and can only get out of it by taking a Delmetor or getting to one of the very rare, only two in the entire game, 'glowing lights' that restore your HP and AP. The system has changed a bit, for instance, you AP threshold can be extended by defeating enemies and how fast your AP rises depends on the 'radiation' of the zone you're in, other factors that make it rise higher is taking or receiving damage, shielding and dodging. While you'd think that Shorting would be beneficial for grinding, enemies defeated while Shorted drop smaller stat buffs.

 By now you probably think that the game is a banger, since the combat system is so much better. But it's not. The exploration aspect of the game is absolutely horrid. Let me tell you how the game works: You're stuck inside the top floors of a building, you are briefed at the top of the building(Floor 4) and must now find your way to floor 1(Lots o' walking and loading screens) to do whatever you need to do, many times you'll have to travel between floors doing busywork before being allowed into floor 1, afterwards you complete the mission and... must go all the way back to floor 4 and be told of some new development which has you... going down to floor 1 again, but probably taking a new route since the previous one is now blocked because reasons. That's the entire game. Well, there's another area, the Uranium Depository which must be visited twice, and the Data World which must be visited three times, and you have to repeat the same puzzles all three times because you're interrupted the previous two. But of course, you have to reach the place that you were at during your last visit and then do some more busywork. LAME. It's incredible how the got away with that one.

You make their head spin right round and round like a record baby, ro....

 Not that the puzzles are any good either, let me show you how the first 'big' puzzle in the game goes. You start off on floor 4(of course) and must get to a Warehouse. You try to open the door and it's a no go, of course, so you need to turn on the Power Generator. The next thing you have to figure out is that you have to interact with a door's button and not the door itself, otherwise it will appear as 'locked' in the map and you won't be able to open it. Fun. Now you are in floor 1, and there's no explanation as to why. Well, maybe you came across a certain key when you first came here, but since you didn't need it the game didn't let you pick it up, so hopefully you remember where it was. Alright, whatever, you're a psychic so you figure out that you need a key and that the key is here. you fetch it and go back to Floor 2, which isn't as simple as climbing a stair, you have to go from floor 1 to Laboratory 2 to Floor 3 to Floor 2. Fun times, I tell ya. Alright, you get to the generator, you enter the Start menu go to the Item label and use the key. You think you're done so you go back to the warehouse and... still no power. You go all the way back to the generator, but now you spot a broken cable. Maybe you came across a spare cable that the game didn't let you pick up because you didn't need it back then, but you remember where it was, somehow, so you go fetch it and... nothing. You actually have to examine the goddamn broken cable, because even though you aren't blind, Rion is, so unless you interacted with the broken cable you can't pick up the new spare cable. Alright, you interacted with it, got the spare cable and now you go into the menu and.... you can't use it. You have to turn off the generator, use the cable and then turn it on. You think you are done, you really think so, but... nope, now someone is standing in your way towards lab 2. So now you have to figure out that you have to talk to the dude guarding the stairs to floor 1 because NOW he feels like letting you in. I wouldn't blame you if you gave up during this entire waste of time.

 The game is very obtuse in telling you where it wants you to go next, or how to get there, so if you want to use a guide feel free to, the game loves to waste your time, be it having you retread old ground in the Data World, having you go up and down the same four floors or having incredibly annoying puzzles. Scratch that, use a guide and don't waste your time.... which is not to say that the game is devoid of fun ideas, there's a very fun mindscrew 3/4ths into the game, and it features a very WTF ending, although, all things considered, the ending is rather unfulfilling. And don't try to think too hard about some of the things that happen, or you'll find out that they make no sense or aren't properly explained. And as an added note, the game loves to be cheeky, so items only appear when you get annoyingly close to them, forcing you to comb areas if you want to find supplies.

These psychic-plants reminded me of REvil 2's zombie-plants.

 Galerians - Ash is a bit of a mess, but a mess I liked. Kinda liked? Sorta-somewhat liked at times. I liked having a bunch of new Galerians to fight and I somewhat liked a few of the characters, like Cas and grown-up Rion. Combat was fun too, thanks to the audiovisual feedback, it feels so good to shoot giant waves of fire, or have your enemies spinning up on the air. That said, Galerians Ash is for hardcore fans of the original only, and even then I'm sure that the it won't satisfy everyone, a lot of the horror elements are entirely gone, and the plot will be very hit or miss depending on your sensibilities(Yaoi fangirls rejoice), finishing the game I was left feeling unfulfilled, and the more I thought about the plot... the less I liked it.
 4.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Galerians - Ash

 Pretty Psychic Boys the Sequel.

 Remember how Rion sacrificed himself at the end of Galerians? Don't worry, he gets better and he got a sequel too. I've already sunk 20 minutes into the game and boy, have things changed!

 For instance, enemies now respawn for a long, loooong while. They do stop respawning, but after a while. While resources are limited, you are encouraged to spend them, since enemies drop permanent upgrades as well as supplies! Rion is much more mobile too, with targeting and dodging. It's interesting how it makes you fight Dorothy again, since the game starts in a truncated version of the last game's final moments. It's too early to have better thought-out opinions, but I think the game seems good. Seems.

 Lastly, I used to play this game when I was younger too, even though I hadn't even finished Galerians 1! I don't remember how far I got, but I do know I got to play as adult Rion.

Review #477: Galerians

 Drugs, exploding heads, clones, psychic powers.... it's 90s anime alright.

3 discs, 4 hours. Those pre-rendered backgrounds must be heavy, eh!

 Welcome to Galerians, a survival horror game that trades guns for psychic powers and monsters for psychic loons. It's an interesting angle, and makes resource management even more taxing on the player thanks to the constant threat of 'Shorting'. It's also really short, the game's backcover boasts about 50 hours but I got through in under 5!

 It's a bit tough to make heads or tails from the plot, but what you need to know is that you play as Rion, a kid who's been experimented on and developed psychic powers. As you explore the Michelangelo Hospital you'll start regaining your memories and learning about Dorothy, a super computer that grew sentient and wants to replace humanity with her own psychic loons, the Galerians. Now Rion must find Lillia, a girl with a virus implanted on her that can destroy Dorothy. The story is a bit cliched, the dialogue is stilted and the voice acting is horrible, but the setting is very interesting and the whole psychic powers thingie makes it very different from other games of its ilk.

That oughta hurt.

 If you've ever played a Survival Horror before, you know the deal, tank-controls, pre-rendered backgrounds and fixed camera angles, having to scavenge the environments for supplies as well as key items to solve puzzles, etc. The most important thing in the game is learning to manage your resources: Energy for your psychic powers is limited, restorative items are limited, inventory space is limited(although key items don't occupy any space) and some monsters respawn. So you'll need to learn when it's best to avoid encounters or kill enemies, or maybe it's better to trade a bit of health, avoiding enemies, and save up your energy.

 But, that's not where resource management ends, below your health is the AP gauge, or Anger points. This gauge fills up constantly, whether you attack, move around or even breathe, the AP gauge is constantly on the rise. Once filled, if you try to attack you'll 'Short'. When you short you lose the ability to run, being force to slowly walk around, and you start losing health at a steady rate, on the flip side, anything that you look at will die(except other Galerians). The only way to heal the Short status is with a Delmetor. It's a really interesting mechanic, because Delmetor occupies inventory space and is limited, but, the Short status can be really convenient when you are swamped with enemies or must fight tough battles. I mean, it's annoying having to play, basically, under a timer, but it's a mechanic that can work in your favor too, which means it's more fun than it sounds(Except when you're about to short and there's no Delmetor around).

The final stage is brimming with supplies, so don't panic if you are short on them after Stage C.

 You've three different psychic powers: Nalcon(Force push?), Red(Fire blast!) and D-Felon(Manipulate gravity) and they are all useful in their own way. Except, maybe, D-Felon, which you obtain very late in the game and it's useless on bosses, so you get to use it very little. Each of them has their own energy gauge, so they each have their own source of ammo. The controls are very clunky, even attacking is clumsier than in other Survival Horror games, first, you have to aim, second, you have to charge with R1(You can't move while charging!) and finally you have to press X to unleash your charge. Some fights can be downright cruel, since you have to run around enemies, wait for an opening and hope that you have enough time to charge before you yourself are attacked with Nalcon. A few areas in the game almost require you to short in order to deal with how tough a few of the ambush battles can get, battles that you can't avoid.

 As for the difficulty, it's very spotty. Resource Management is the biggest obstacles from Stage A to Stage C, but the final Stage, D, gifts you with all sorts of ammo and health items so it's almost impossible for you to lose at that stage, but going from Stage A to Stage C it's very tough managing your Health, Ammo and AP. Bosses too are poorly balanced, the first boss is the easiest of the bunch, but the second one is easily the hardest, being bombarded with projectiles all over the place and a very small window to counter-attack. The next two bosses, while no run in the park, are easier and then the last two bosses are easy as pie.

Some stage, like B, have a single save-room, so you'll be visiting this place often.

 The puzzles on the other hand never get too complicated. Rion, having psychic powers, can 'Sense', by pressing triangles, an get hints on how to open locked doors or where missing items are, so it's hard to not know where to go next. That said, in Stage C there's a puzzle in which you must knock on a door with a very specific timing which is all sorts of obnoxious, since the game is very particular with your timing. Galerians also has a real-time map, which is very useful although not as detailed as it could've. You'll have to consider the Save Spots too, which are very limited, as a matter of fact, Stage B and Stage C have a single save-spot each.

 Alright, so Galerians isn't the best Survival Horror you'll ever play. Even by the genre's standards the controls are clunky, the difficulty is uneven and poorly balanced and the story could've used a bit more thought put into... but when it comes down to it, it's pretty good. The setting is interesting, the AP mechanic is entertaining and fighting with psychic powers, even if sloppy, is fun.
 7.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Galerians

 About time I played another obscure game, eh!

A leather choker, injecting psycho-drugs, heads exploding... this game is edgy alright.

 And now, in the spirit of Halloween, let's go with something more survival-ish, Galerians. It starts off brutal, I died twice after starting the game. First I went into Short-mode and died while searching for a Delmeter. Second attempt, I tried shooting my powers to no avail, shorted again BUT discovered that Delmeter was on my inventory from the get go, so I let myself die before starting again. Third attempt went swimmingly and now I'm 22 minutes into the game, on the second save spot.

 The game is original, I'll give it that, but boy oh boy, you've a limited inventory! And unless you're counting you won't know when you hit the limit! And Save points are so sparse, goddamn! And how about the fact that merely breathing increases your AP which makes you Short? And shooting your powers? You have to charge them and THEN press X, charge too little and you'll do negligible damage, charge too much and you lose the charge. It's tough, man!

 I used to play this in my youth, and I think I never got out of the hospital, my last memory of the game is when the Rabbits jump on the bottom floor and crowd Rion.

Review #476: Evil Dead - Regeneration

 And now the king is gone, baby.

Oh, I've a bone to pick with the newest addition to the mythos...

 A Fistful of Boomstick was an alright game, it wasn't the end all be all of licensed games, but it was pretty decent and THQ wasn't about to loosen its grip on the franchise, so then came Regeneration. It's a markedly different game from its predecessor, with a tighter combat system and more emphasis on action than the loose survival horror elements from the previous game.

 A Fistful of Boomstick? Never happened. Army of the Dead? Never happened. After Evil Dead 2, Ash was imprisoned in a mental institute, society thinking him crazy... but not all is as it seems, turns out the director got his hands on the Necromicon Ex Mortis and has been experimenting with it, and when all hell breaks loose it's up to Ash, and his new sidekick, half-human half-deadite all obnoxious, Sam to save the day. The humor, setting and character design is all on point and faithful to the franchise, however, Sam turned out as trying too hard. He isn't funny, him being immortal and thus dying over and over again isn't funny, him being obnoxious isn't funny. Sam's easily the weakest element in the entire game.

If there's a hole in it, you bet you'll have to kick Sam inside.

 The game tries a lot to be like Devil May Cry: Your guns have infinite ammo, you've a small variety of chaisaw combos, a few which involve pausing your button presses, and Ash even gets a Devil Trigger in the form of Evil Ash. Sadly, it falls flat on its face. The game doesn't have a strong combo system, there's no canceling, no juggling(And I tried, even with the harpoon gun, the most you can do is shoot or perform a simple combo after shooting an enemy it into the air), no nothing. Every single combo has pretty much the same outcome, whether it ends with a slash, a jumping slash or a blast, except the five-button chainsaw combo which usually ends in an instakill so there's no reason to use any other combo but that one.

 Ash gets three different guns and three different arms. The pistol, the shotgun and the bomb-lance have their different uses, but as soon as you get the bomb-lance the other two will become a bit redundant. As for his arms, there's the chainsaw-arm, the harpoon-gun and the flamethrower-arm. The last two don't have any combos and while they can be used in combat they fall short of the chainsaw, so you'll mostly be using them to solve stupidly easy puzzles, like burning gas or harpooning doors. Kind of a waste really, and it's not like you can buy new combos for the chainsaw or anything. What it all amounts to is a ton of potential, but a very lackluster execution.

Weapons have infinite ammo now, so have fun.

 And then we've got Sam, the small midget that can't be killed. Well, he can, but he'll respawn immediately. He'll aid you in combat, and he is not half-useless, but you can also kick him towards enemies, in fact, some enemies and bosses can only be beaten by kicking him into them. You can also kick him towards objects in order to solve simple puzzles. In some instances you'll also take direct control of him to, you guessed it, solve simple puzzles in order to open up a way for Ash to proceed. These moments aren't too obtrusive, but his sections aren't particularly memorable even though they are so repetitive, usually having you searching for a monster to ride so that you can destroy a wall and they always end with Sam dying in the unfunniest of ways.

  Speaking of Sam, you know how beloved escort missions are? There's four different escort sections in the game. FOUR. And you have to repeat the procedure 3 times each. Y'see, sometimes you'll come across a cyclops that must be fed, so you must find 3 souls, 1 at time, have Sam consume it, protect Sam until he gets to the cyclops and then kick him into the mouth, because that's supposed to be funny...? The game is about 10 stages long, and four of them have these dumb sections. No bueno, no bueno at all.

Bosses are easy to figure out.

 The saddest part about Regeneration is that the developers really tried. I mean, just going over the visuals you can tell that the game had a pretty decent budget, and Bruce Campbell brought his A-game, as always, to voice Ash. Even in the game's basic gameplay you can tell that they wanted to make something Devil May Cry-ish but simply ran out of budget or time to add substance to the combat. Evil Dead - Regeneration is a bit half-cooked, but if you're into the franchise it's worth a look, provided you're willing to suffer Sam.
 5.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Evil Dead Regeneration

 Ash is back in business.

Sam the Deadite is voiced by Ted Raimi, the director Sam Raimi's brother....

 I just finished the first level and first boss, and dang, it's good. They managed to get the humor just right, I haven't checked if it was made by the same dev team, but kudos. As for the gameplay, it's a bit more focused and less chaotic, we've got combos, infinite ammo and a Hulk version of Ash! You've also got Sam, the Deadite sidekick, but I just found him so I haven't seen how his puzzles work yet.

 I'm diggin' the gameplay, I am, but... is there a point to having different combos? Why would I want to use a combo over another one? There's no juggling system, and the damage-stun doesn't seem to lend itself for fancy combo-making, so I dunno. As for the unlimited ammo, I don't know if I'm gonna like that. At first I thought 'Why would I use the gun over shotgun???', but the first boss proved that it was easier to gun him down with a fast-shooting pistol than the slow-as-molasses shotgun, so maybe the different guns will have different situations so as not to make any one gun obsolete. And it was kinda cool how chainsawing the boss while he had electricity coursing through him instantly killed me, I hope the rest of the bosses have details like that.

 Last thing I wanna mention is... oh boy, we've got a budget now! This game looks TOO good for a licensed game, even facial expressions are well animated. I dunno, judging from the first level, this game looks pretty friggin' good.

Review #475: Evil Dead - A Fistful of Boomstick

 This is ma boomstick!

Yeah... the cover art isn't very good.

 The last Evil Dead movie, at the time, released at around 1992 or so, so why would it get a videogame in 2004 is beyond me, but where there is a franchise there is money to be made, so THQ was quick to bring it to the PS2 era consoles. A Fistful of Boomstick is an action-adventure game taking place after the Army of Darkness, in which you, as Ashley Williams, must stop the Deadite invasion.

 There're two modes of play Story Mode and Arcade Mode. Story Mode puts Ashley in six different zones or areas, which you must traverse as you fulfill goals from your 'To-do list'. Ash can equip two different weapons, his Chainsaw arm can be outfitted with two types of saws, a flamethrower and even a minigun, while he carries another weapon, mostly guns but a few melee weapons like swords and shovels or even dynamite. X uses your Saw-arm while Square uses your other weapon, hilariously enough, you can only target enemies when you have a gun on your left arm, but you can't aim if you are holding a sword but have the minigun equipped!

You'll be visiting the woods throughout different eras, so get used to it.

 There're various spells too, that consume energy from a green gauge, that range from making you stronger to allowing you to possess enemies or even summon Deadite dogs to aid you. You fill this green gauge by defeating enemies, and you shouldn't be too lavish with your casting since many puzzles require spells in order to proceed and if you lack the magic points, well, you gotta go around town and defeat enemies until you can cast it. Most puzzles and goals are fairly easy to figure out, but there're a couple that are impossible to figure out on your own. How was I to know that I had to throw a dynamite stick on the strip club's courtyard? Everything hinted towards me needing a key to enter through the back. how was I supposed to know that I had to throw a Dynamite stick to get out of the room I entered with Dog Possession? Absolutely nothing hinted towards that object being destructible. There were a few other poor design choices, quite a few times I had to go around the entire stages again to see if something new triggered after talking to a new NPC or what have you, which is pretty lame.

 While this is mostly a very simple action game, there're a few survival horror elements in place. Ammo for your guns is limited, but to be fair the game is fairly generous with it, and medikits are limited as well, not to mention that the game doesn't restore your health after clearing a stage or a boss. Saving can only be done by collecting save tokens or clearing a stage. It's a bit weird having these elements in the game, but they aren't intrusive nor add anything to the game.

I think the State of Emergency engine worked well for this game.

 The game is relatively short, but you unlock all six areas in Arcade Mode by beating them, Arcade Mode being a mission-mode of sorts which tasks you with doing silly, self-contained missions and aim for a high score. Yay? As for the game itself, as bland, simple and sometimes poorly designed as it is... it's kinda fun. The combat is clunky, but tearing deadites apart is fun sporadically. Still, the game's biggest draw is how true to the franchise it is... well, to Army of Darkness anyways, the humor, dialogue and setting feels very natural and faithful to it. There's time travel involved, and Ash even gets to meet his ancestors, on most games this plot device would've been meh, but here they knocked it out of the park. What I mean to say is that it actually feels like I'm playing a continuation of Evil Dead 3.

 Evil Dead - A Fistful of Boomstick is nothing to write home about but as an Evil Dead game it passes with flying colors. Even if you're not familiar with the franchise, I think the game might be entertaining since the humor, setting and Ashley Williams himself are very entertaining on their own. That said, as far as gameplay goes, it's nothing special, just your average, everyday third person shooter.
 6.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Evil Dead - A Fistful of Boomstick

 Evil Dead of Emergency.

A fistful o' shovel considering how good that weapon is.

 There were three Evil Dead games released, or at least three that really did matter, Hail to the King on PS1/Dreamcast and A Fistful of Boomstick and Regeneration on the PS2-era consoles. I was familiar with two of them, HttK which was an awful, awful survival horror game and AFoB which ran on the State of Emergency engine and thus played a bit similarly.

 I just finished the first... mission? World? Stage? Whatevs, it's pretty alright. I mean, it runs on the State of Emergency engine so there's only so much you can do. The game is a bit flat, so I hope we see stages with more verticality, although considering white men can't jump and Ash Williams seems to be no exception... I'm not too hopeful.

Review #474: Darkwatch

 Halloween begins with Halo. In the Wild West. With Vampires.

Mind yer step partner, this ride might be yer last.

 Welcome to Darkwatch, a society that hunts down the undead, also, the name of this very first person shooter set in the Wild West, albeit one that's infested by vampires and the such. Also, a game made infamous by a sex-scene that happens midway through the game, but trust me, the game is more than cheap titillation.

 You play as Jericho Cross, who's latest heist will make him a rich man... except that he happened to raid a Darkwatch train, carrying Lazarus the vampire, who thanks Jericho by siring him. Now Jericho teams up with Darkwatch in order to stop Lazarus and save himself. There's not a lot of story in the game, but it gets the job done of presenting you with a thread to connect your shootouts. The gothic art direction meshes relatively well with the western setting, albeit in their need of having fanservice, Tala's skin-tight latex suit doesn't really mesh well with the rest of the Western-styled uniforms.

You'll be raiding a few trains throughout Jericho's tale.

 If you've ever played Halo 1 you'll be right at home here. Jericho can only carry two guns with him, and you've got a miserable amount of life points, but you're aided by a regenerating blood shield that works just like Halo's shield. There's a metal-cart-jeep-thing section not unlike Halo's own vehicle sections too. Hell, you also get a naked blue ethereal chick companion to guide you! Basically, Halo in a vampire western setting. That said, Jericho has something that Master Chief doesn't: Vampire powers. Defeated enemies drop souls that can either heal you or fill your blood powers gauge, if your life is full, once you fill this gauge you can use any of your acquired powers, about 5 of them, out of a possible 10.

 Y'see, throughout the game you'll be allowed simple moral choices 'Save the civilian or feed from him/her' which will eventually grant you powers. It's a very simple system and it doesn't affect the ending in any way, what does affect it is single a moral choice 3/4ths into the game. The game is overall pretty short, and has way too many turret sections but only a couple of sunlight sections. The two stages that involve sunlight are pretty interesting, since they force you to seek shadows, lest you lose your vampire powers, including your shield! As short as the game is, you can play the entire game in co-op and it also features a versus mode, with two different types of matches!

Nothing says Vampire Slayer like a crossbow.

 Most of the game is relatively fun, although a few sections were a bit boring. Specifically a few shoot-outs that took place in very open arenas, but with few and sparse monsters. By the end of the game you'll be swarmed by enemies, which is better. The game could've done with more variety in the weapons department, but at least it's got the basics covered: Pistol, Shotgun, Rifle, Dual Pistols, Rocket Launcher and even a crossbow for good measure, sadly, Jericho's six-shooter is lost once he turns into a vampire.

 Darkwatch is a fun but brief first person shooter. It has a few overused tropes and a few underutilized mechanics that could've been better juggled to make for a more compelling overall game, but what's here is still pretty good. It was probably too much of a Halo clone to make much of a splash, since it put it directly in competition with that juggernaut of a franchise in its heyday, so now it's easier to appreciate it by itself.
 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: DarkWatch

 It's high noon, and Halloween is nigh...

Welcome to a Vampire Western. We've got Cowboys VS Aliens too, all we need now is Samurai vs Cowboys.

 Alright, it's not high noon, but every good Western starts like that, right? It's the month of Halloween, also known as the best month of the year, and what a better way to start it with than with High Moon Studios' Darkwatch, a criminally forgotten FPS with vampires, cowboys and six-shooters.

 I've done the first few stages, just finished the cemetery, and it's been quite decent so far. A few of the shoot-outs were a bit on the boring side, since enemies are too slow and far too sparse for the wide-large areas, but it's otherwise pretty good. I like the art direction, although this 'Tala' chaaracter, which I came upon searching for the game's cover, is an awful, terrible character design that must've come out of a 12 year old's mind.

Month Overview: September 2017

 Tally:
Floating Runner - Quest for the 7 Crystals 3.0
X-Men - Mutant Academy 2 7.5
Stretch Panic 8.0
The Simpsons - Hit & Run 7.0
TMNT(PS2) 4.0
Psychic Force 2 8.0
Gouketuji Ichizoku 2 8.0
Devil May Cry 8.0
Devil May Cry 2 6.5
Devil May Cry 3 10
Dragon Ball Z -  Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu 8.0
Dragon Ball Z - Ultimate Battle 22 3.0
Seven Samurai 20XX 6.5
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate 7.5



 Thing I did this month: Finally played all PS1 Dragon Ball games. Things I regret this month: Playing all PS1 Dragon Ball games. I kid, I kid, Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu is pretty cool. It was a pretty decent month, I finally finished Monster Hunter 3... kinda, that game is eternal, but I got my money's worth out of it and then some. I replayed the entire PS2 DMC games, and even this soon, they still held up.

 Game of September 2017:

 Probably the greatest action game ever made. Probably. Like, what is there not to love about it? The action is phenomenal and feels great to land hits, the cutscenes are nonsensical but amazing, there're tons of possibilities with the combo system and the game is pretty lengthy. And then there's a second character that brings an entirely different set of tools into the table. DMC 3 is nothing short of amazing.

 Runner-up:

 It was tough selecting the number one spot, and it almost came to a draw between Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu and Stretch Panic, but I went with this one since I adored the originality and creativity.

Review #473: Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate(3DS)

 What is accessibility?

I don't know whose idea was it to make the Azure Rathalos the flagship monster, but I don't agree with it

 I love Monster Hunter, I do, ever since I first played it on the Wii. Think of it as a glorified boss-rush game of sorts: You track a giant monster, you kill it and you scavenge its remains to craft yourself stronger armor and better weapons. But... since the first time I tried out Monster Hunter quite a handful of clones have come out, and I've played a bunch of them, like Toukiden, Soul Sacrifice and Gods Eater and I think there's no going back for me...

 There's a story mode in the game about a beast causing earthquakes on a nearby fishing village, but it's pretty much fluff to get you hunting monsters. What you have to do is accept quests from the Guild Girl and perform them. First things first, while there is a pretty lengthy single player component, the meat of the game is the multiplayer mode.. but the 3DS version has no online, so if you wanna hunt with people ya gotta do it offline. And you should, the game is a thousand times better when playing with people. Unlike the Wii version, you can undertake Online Missions while offline, and even take the two underlings the game gives you on this missions, but be warned, while enemies' stats in online scale according to the amount of players, they are still tougher than their offline counterparts.

Armors are incredibly detailed and badass in this game.

 Before you decide on undertaking this game be careful as it's a brutal grind. The beauty of the game is that it has you hunting very tough boss-monsters that requires the player to learn the monster's tells, patterns and behaviors. And you'll be hunting monsters dozens upon dozens of times since you want its parts to craft better armor and weapons. It feels really good to learn how to take down an enemy, maybe the Pink Rathian killed you on your first hunt, then you managed to slay it with a sliver of health left and then you're taking it down while consuming less and less health items, it feels very rewarding! And besides the satisfaction of getting better, you also get to craft stronger armor and stronger weapons, win-win.

 Well, that's what happens when the game is at its best. The truth of the matter is that you're going to be killing the same monster over and over and over again. This is why so many people sink hundreds of hours into this game, because the parts you need for your weapon or your armor just aren't dropping. It gets so bad that fans of the game call it the 'Desire sensor', the more you want a part the more likely it won't drop. And you also need to gather bugs and minerals for your equipment, and once again, there're rare drops when gathering these, and you must use pick-axes, nets and even fishing hooks to gather these, tools that randomly break. 50% of your time will be spent hunting the same monsters over and over again, 40% will be spent trying to get the mineral or bug that you need and 10% will be spent actually doing new quests. And don't even let me get started on specific drops, for instance, I mained the Dual Swords but in order to upgrade my poison pair.... I had to break a Gigginox's head with a hammer, so I had to learn an entirely different weapon in order to upgrade the weapons I was actually using. The ****???? And even then, I had to do this to have a CHANCE of getting the drop, basically, RNG for the RNG. Heck, sometimes you need to craft poison bombs to kill insects and try to get their rare drops, so now you have to gather materials, for a random chance of getting what you want, then craft traps and then kill the bugs with these and then HOPE that you get what you want.

Multi-player is the way to go with Monster Hunter.

 Another issue I had was with High Rank. Your first hunts, and the first half of the single player component, is spent in 'Low Rank', fighting easy monsters(Well, easy in comparison to what you'll be fighting in High Rank), and then you hit High Rank and... all your armor turns useless. Remember all those times you spent hunting the Rathalos? Well, you gotta do it all over again if you want an actually useful Rathalos armor that looks EXACTLY the same to your old set. At least in G Rank, the rank after High Rank, the armors look different. But not in high rank, oh no. Heck, during missions you are given free supplies, but after entering High Rank supplies will be... supplied randomly, and you'll start in a random area, which kinda sucks, since you need a map if you want to see how the area is divided. The MH community is kinda toxic so you'll be told that 'you should've memorized the areas by now', but it really, really sucks and is such an unneeded complexity.

 A lot of the fun I was having with the game was stilted as soon as I hit high rank. Having to slay the SAME monsters I had been killing, even if stronger and more aggressive, to craft identical looking armor to the one I had before was such a bummer. It doesn't help that for the longest time you'll be fighting the same exact monsters from High Rank. The first set of HR quests only give you the Purple R. Ludroth, Crimson Quropeco and the Pink Rathian, which are subspecies of the Royal Ludroth, Quropeco and Rathian, and only offer slightly different behaviors. It wasn't much fun. The second set of sub quests offered the first new monster, the Plesioth, and then a bunch of new recolors. I mean, subspecies. Finally, the third wave gave me the Zynogre, and so on... High Rank was a mood killer.

Exploiting an enemy's elemental weakness can make the hunt a whole lot easier.

 And the sad part about it is that other MH clones 'fixed' these things by being more streamlined. You don't need a map item to see how areas are connected, gathering materials doesn't require you to carry tools that randomly break, you don't need to break parts with specific weapons or damage types to obtain certain drops and the drop rate is much more lenient. Monster Hunter is needlessly complex in some aspects, which will certainly be a major plus for a certain niche.

 Also, keep in mind that the game will barely explain its mechanics to the player.  Like the stamina bar, which after a while decreases permanently unless you cook certain supplies, of course, you're not told which supplies fix this or how to make them until you actually make them. There's a bunch of capture missions that need the player to trap the enemy, but these traps have to be crafted, since they aren't readily available, and you're never told how to, you just have to try different things together. Fun. And you can't carry many traps with you, if you place the trap and the enemy runs away you're screwed, since you can't remove the trap and you can't place another one until that one breaks after seven minutes. A problem that is easily resolved in multiplayer, when every player can carry their own set of traps and each one can place one.

The Lagiacrus was the MH3's flagship monster. Never forget the original.

 Hopefully you don't think I'm over, because I'm not. The game is very tough, VERY tough. Not only can monsters get pretty brutal, you also have to contend with other factors besides your stamina meter, things like your weapon's sharpness. As you hit the enemy it will lose its edge to the point that your strikes will be deflected, so now you have to search for an opening and try to sharpen it back to shape. Healing can be hazardous too, since enemies have a sixth sense and they will go directly towards you if you try to drink a potion. It's a very brutal game, but it's quite fun whenever you get to fight a new monster, with new behaviors and attacks, and then get to craft a badass new set of armor and weapon. Single player offers you two companions in the form of Kayamba and Cha-cha, a pair of useless little critters. You can 'equip' them with dances, such as healing or buffs, but it seem like they'll never use the dance that you need. You get poisoned, so drink an antidote and seconds later they cast their antidote dance. Thanks for nothing. You'll soon learn not to really on them, but hey, at least sometimes they can act as diversions for you to chug a potion down your throat.

 Monster Hunter 3 also introduced underwater combat and... it's trash. Look, the controls are pretty cumbersome, but you can get used to them. The 3DS version has a pretty useful lock-on mechanic, so even if you don't have the analog-nub(I didn't!) you can press L to move the camera behind you or towards your enemy. It works really well, I promise, but when you add swimming and underwater combat into the mix... it gets really bad. To say that underwater monsters were my least favorite would be an understatement.

Don't rely on your Single Player minions, they are horrible.

 I'd also like to comment on how the game has worked ever since Monster Hunter on the PS2: Each Area is divided in various different, numbered areas, and are interconnected in different ways. The problem is... enemies LOVE hitting you through areas, which means sitting through TWO different loading screens, one when you get hit INTO another area and another one when you return to the fray. It's pretty annoying, and you also need to factor in that monsters love to get inside this transition zones, so it's pretty easy to be running towards a monster only to accidentally transition into another area, so having to sit through two loading screens again. And then you have to try to lure the monster out of that transition zone so that you can hit it.

 This is getting pretty lengthy, but I almost forgot to touch upon weapons. There're about a dozen different weapon types and each of them work very differently. Dual Swords are fast, and are built around Demon and Archdemon modes, in which you have to enter Demon stance, that drains your stamina constantly, and hit the enemy enough times to enter Archdemon stance. Or the Great Sword that works around charging your blows. With the long sword you have to build up a meter to unleash an special combo so that you can slowly go up the unleashed 'levels' to do more damage. Trust me, there's a ton of different ways to play, and Ultimate gives you one of each, so try them out until you find your best fit. Heck, I'd say that it's useful to learn at least to different weapons, since some weapons work better for certain monsters. But also keep in mind elemental weaknesses and strengths, unlike its clones, Elements DO matter in this game and can mean the difference between a long, tough fight or a short skirmish.

Meet Zynogre, the Japanese realese's flagship monster.

 Monster Hunter is a very fun game when it's at its best, but when it's not... I was bored outta my mind. Honestly, I'd rather play more streamlined clones, like Toukiden and Gods Eater, which give you better and more useful allies, are kinder with monster drops and gathering materials, are more streamlined when it comes to crafting what you need and even when you have to fight the tougher version of older monsters at least reward you with different looking, even if only in color, equipment. I don't regret my time spent in Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, but boy, could the have trimmed a lot of the fat....
 7.5 out of 10

Review #472: Seven Samurai 20XX

 The Seven in the title is very debatable.

A better cover would've had the Seven Samurai reflect on each blade...

 Y'know Seven Samurai, it's a bit of a classic but, for whatever reason, it never got a game... till Seven Samurai 20XX came around. This hack-and-slash game was received to a rather lukewarm criticism and now goes by forgotten by everyone. Except me.

 The story is very, VERY loose retelling of the movie by the same name, so much so that I think the word 'inspired' fits better. Set in a post-apocalyptic future Japan, you play as Natoe(Although everyone pronounces it differently, some call him 'Naoto', some call him 'Nato' and a few called him 'Noto') a youth trained in the way of the samurai who gets himself embroiled alongside six... actually, alongside five other samurai in order to protect a nearby town. Protect them from Humanoids, cyborg like beings that have recently began their assault. The story has ups and downs, but it's mostly an interesting tale. But the real winner here is the art-direction, everything looks amazing, characters are very unique and appealing while the environments are mysterious and enthralling... it's quite a treat for the eyes.

Villains and heroes look nothing short of cool in this game.

 The game is divided into 10 chapters, and every single chapter(Save 3) is a very linear affair, go from point A to point B while smashing robots(I refuse to call them humanoids) over and over again. I can't stress enough just how repetitive it is and just how many enemies you have to defeat. There's no exploration to be had, except for chapter 3, although the game does have six optional bosses, five of them hiding in the game's only open city in chapter 3, and a sixth one hiding in chapter 7. Regardless, there're no puzzles, there's no platforming: There's only fighting.

 So how does Natoe battle? Simple, Square is your attack button, X is your dodge-step and Triangle is your guard. Attacks can be chained infinitely, but you can also pull off 'Just Attacks' which I never really understood how they went off, something about holding a direction an enemy is in and pressing attack at the same time? Doesn't matter since they are simply critical hits. Your dodge step can be used to dodge, duh, but timing it just as you get attacked produces a 'Just dodge' that instantly puts you behind your enemy and restores some of your Nitoh-ryu gauge(More on this later).

See that red-square button? You'll be pressing that button a lot.

 Guarding works in an interesting way, by pressing triangle you'll slowly consume a bit of gauge from your blue bar beneath your health bar, and if you're attacked while this tiny bit is consumed you'll automatically block an attack. Just Guarding is done by, you guessed it, pressing triangle just as you're getting attacked, which parries the attack and completely refills your Nitoh-ryu gauge. Nito-ryu is dual-wielding, by pressing both R1 and L1 at the same time Natoe will grab his other sword and become extra deadly for a short while... but if you time your parries you'll be in this mode forever.

 In a bizarre twist of fate, making Natoe stronger is a matter of sucking. While most games would reward the player for doing well, in SS20XX your Strength, Guard an Nito-ryu gauges are extended by... getting hit a lot, uselessly expending your block gauge and not refilling your Nitoryu gauge with blocks. The worse you do, the more power-up points you'll get after clearing a stage. Idiotic. Throughout the game, fulfilling certain goals will unlock different-looking swords but... you can only equip them after finishing the game. Why? There're also a Survival and Boss Rush modes waiting to be unlocked.

A very brief respite from mashing that square button.

 The game is rather fun to play at times, but it's very basic. There's no hidden depth here, what you do in chapter 1 is what you'll be doing all the way till the end of this 5 hour ride. There're no new moves to be earned, no unlockable characters, no different weapon styles, nothing, everything you have in chapter 0 is everything you'll have in chapter 10.

 Still, the game's biggest flaw is its squandered potential. You have this seven fantastic-looking different characters and... you only play as Natoe. These other Samurai barely get any screen-time doing cool stuff either, its mostly talking or spitting excuses as to why they can't go with you. You've also got this fighting system that works well as a base, but the devs didn't go out of their way to do unique or interesting stuff with it, instead, they just called it a day.

 I can understand why critics where so harsh back in the day, it was 2004-release, Devil May Cry was a thing, standards had been set... and while the game doesn't do anything particularly bad there're so many other games that do what this game does even better. There's also the fact that even Dynasty Warriors manages to be less repetitive thanks to an engine that lets the player create combos with juggles and what not. Seven Samurai 20XX is a decent time waster, but nothing more.

 6.5 out of 10