Review #474: Darkwatch

 Halloween begins with Halo. In the Wild West. With Vampires.

Mind yer step partner, this ride might be yer last.

 Welcome to Darkwatch, a society that hunts down the undead, also, the name of this very first person shooter set in the Wild West, albeit one that's infested by vampires and the such. Also, a game made infamous by a sex-scene that happens midway through the game, but trust me, the game is more than cheap titillation.

 You play as Jericho Cross, who's latest heist will make him a rich man... except that he happened to raid a Darkwatch train, carrying Lazarus the vampire, who thanks Jericho by siring him. Now Jericho teams up with Darkwatch in order to stop Lazarus and save himself. There's not a lot of story in the game, but it gets the job done of presenting you with a thread to connect your shootouts. The gothic art direction meshes relatively well with the western setting, albeit in their need of having fanservice, Tala's skin-tight latex suit doesn't really mesh well with the rest of the Western-styled uniforms.

You'll be raiding a few trains throughout Jericho's tale.

 If you've ever played Halo 1 you'll be right at home here. Jericho can only carry two guns with him, and you've got a miserable amount of life points, but you're aided by a regenerating blood shield that works just like Halo's shield. There's a metal-cart-jeep-thing section not unlike Halo's own vehicle sections too. Hell, you also get a naked blue ethereal chick companion to guide you! Basically, Halo in a vampire western setting. That said, Jericho has something that Master Chief doesn't: Vampire powers. Defeated enemies drop souls that can either heal you or fill your blood powers gauge, if your life is full, once you fill this gauge you can use any of your acquired powers, about 5 of them, out of a possible 10.

 Y'see, throughout the game you'll be allowed simple moral choices 'Save the civilian or feed from him/her' which will eventually grant you powers. It's a very simple system and it doesn't affect the ending in any way, what does affect it is single a moral choice 3/4ths into the game. The game is overall pretty short, and has way too many turret sections but only a couple of sunlight sections. The two stages that involve sunlight are pretty interesting, since they force you to seek shadows, lest you lose your vampire powers, including your shield! As short as the game is, you can play the entire game in co-op and it also features a versus mode, with two different types of matches!

Nothing says Vampire Slayer like a crossbow.

 Most of the game is relatively fun, although a few sections were a bit boring. Specifically a few shoot-outs that took place in very open arenas, but with few and sparse monsters. By the end of the game you'll be swarmed by enemies, which is better. The game could've done with more variety in the weapons department, but at least it's got the basics covered: Pistol, Shotgun, Rifle, Dual Pistols, Rocket Launcher and even a crossbow for good measure, sadly, Jericho's six-shooter is lost once he turns into a vampire.

 Darkwatch is a fun but brief first person shooter. It has a few overused tropes and a few underutilized mechanics that could've been better juggled to make for a more compelling overall game, but what's here is still pretty good. It was probably too much of a Halo clone to make much of a splash, since it put it directly in competition with that juggernaut of a franchise in its heyday, so now it's easier to appreciate it by itself.
 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: DarkWatch

 It's high noon, and Halloween is nigh...

Welcome to a Vampire Western. We've got Cowboys VS Aliens too, all we need now is Samurai vs Cowboys.

 Alright, it's not high noon, but every good Western starts like that, right? It's the month of Halloween, also known as the best month of the year, and what a better way to start it with than with High Moon Studios' Darkwatch, a criminally forgotten FPS with vampires, cowboys and six-shooters.

 I've done the first few stages, just finished the cemetery, and it's been quite decent so far. A few of the shoot-outs were a bit on the boring side, since enemies are too slow and far too sparse for the wide-large areas, but it's otherwise pretty good. I like the art direction, although this 'Tala' chaaracter, which I came upon searching for the game's cover, is an awful, terrible character design that must've come out of a 12 year old's mind.

Month Overview: September 2017

 Tally:
Floating Runner - Quest for the 7 Crystals 3.0
X-Men - Mutant Academy 2 7.5
Stretch Panic 8.0
The Simpsons - Hit & Run 7.0
TMNT(PS2) 4.0
Psychic Force 2 8.0
Gouketuji Ichizoku 2 8.0
Devil May Cry 8.0
Devil May Cry 2 6.5
Devil May Cry 3 10
Dragon Ball Z -  Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu 8.0
Dragon Ball Z - Ultimate Battle 22 3.0
Seven Samurai 20XX 6.5
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate 7.5



 Thing I did this month: Finally played all PS1 Dragon Ball games. Things I regret this month: Playing all PS1 Dragon Ball games. I kid, I kid, Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu is pretty cool. It was a pretty decent month, I finally finished Monster Hunter 3... kinda, that game is eternal, but I got my money's worth out of it and then some. I replayed the entire PS2 DMC games, and even this soon, they still held up.

 Game of September 2017:

 Probably the greatest action game ever made. Probably. Like, what is there not to love about it? The action is phenomenal and feels great to land hits, the cutscenes are nonsensical but amazing, there're tons of possibilities with the combo system and the game is pretty lengthy. And then there's a second character that brings an entirely different set of tools into the table. DMC 3 is nothing short of amazing.

 Runner-up:

 It was tough selecting the number one spot, and it almost came to a draw between Idainaru Dragon Ball Densetsu and Stretch Panic, but I went with this one since I adored the originality and creativity.

Review #473: Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate(3DS)

 What is accessibility?

I don't know whose idea was it to make the Azure Rathalos the flagship monster, but I don't agree with it

 I love Monster Hunter, I do, ever since I first played it on the Wii. Think of it as a glorified boss-rush game of sorts: You track a giant monster, you kill it and you scavenge its remains to craft yourself stronger armor and better weapons. But... since the first time I tried out Monster Hunter quite a handful of clones have come out, and I've played a bunch of them, like Toukiden, Soul Sacrifice and Gods Eater and I think there's no going back for me...

 There's a story mode in the game about a beast causing earthquakes on a nearby fishing village, but it's pretty much fluff to get you hunting monsters. What you have to do is accept quests from the Guild Girl and perform them. First things first, while there is a pretty lengthy single player component, the meat of the game is the multiplayer mode.. but the 3DS version has no online, so if you wanna hunt with people ya gotta do it offline. And you should, the game is a thousand times better when playing with people. Unlike the Wii version, you can undertake Online Missions while offline, and even take the two underlings the game gives you on this missions, but be warned, while enemies' stats in online scale according to the amount of players, they are still tougher than their offline counterparts.

Armors are incredibly detailed and badass in this game.

 Before you decide on undertaking this game be careful as it's a brutal grind. The beauty of the game is that it has you hunting very tough boss-monsters that requires the player to learn the monster's tells, patterns and behaviors. And you'll be hunting monsters dozens upon dozens of times since you want its parts to craft better armor and weapons. It feels really good to learn how to take down an enemy, maybe the Pink Rathian killed you on your first hunt, then you managed to slay it with a sliver of health left and then you're taking it down while consuming less and less health items, it feels very rewarding! And besides the satisfaction of getting better, you also get to craft stronger armor and stronger weapons, win-win.

 Well, that's what happens when the game is at its best. The truth of the matter is that you're going to be killing the same monster over and over and over again. This is why so many people sink hundreds of hours into this game, because the parts you need for your weapon or your armor just aren't dropping. It gets so bad that fans of the game call it the 'Desire sensor', the more you want a part the more likely it won't drop. And you also need to gather bugs and minerals for your equipment, and once again, there're rare drops when gathering these, and you must use pick-axes, nets and even fishing hooks to gather these, tools that randomly break. 50% of your time will be spent hunting the same monsters over and over again, 40% will be spent trying to get the mineral or bug that you need and 10% will be spent actually doing new quests. And don't even let me get started on specific drops, for instance, I mained the Dual Swords but in order to upgrade my poison pair.... I had to break a Gigginox's head with a hammer, so I had to learn an entirely different weapon in order to upgrade the weapons I was actually using. The ****???? And even then, I had to do this to have a CHANCE of getting the drop, basically, RNG for the RNG. Heck, sometimes you need to craft poison bombs to kill insects and try to get their rare drops, so now you have to gather materials, for a random chance of getting what you want, then craft traps and then kill the bugs with these and then HOPE that you get what you want.

Multi-player is the way to go with Monster Hunter.

 Another issue I had was with High Rank. Your first hunts, and the first half of the single player component, is spent in 'Low Rank', fighting easy monsters(Well, easy in comparison to what you'll be fighting in High Rank), and then you hit High Rank and... all your armor turns useless. Remember all those times you spent hunting the Rathalos? Well, you gotta do it all over again if you want an actually useful Rathalos armor that looks EXACTLY the same to your old set. At least in G Rank, the rank after High Rank, the armors look different. But not in high rank, oh no. Heck, during missions you are given free supplies, but after entering High Rank supplies will be... supplied randomly, and you'll start in a random area, which kinda sucks, since you need a map if you want to see how the area is divided. The MH community is kinda toxic so you'll be told that 'you should've memorized the areas by now', but it really, really sucks and is such an unneeded complexity.

 A lot of the fun I was having with the game was stilted as soon as I hit high rank. Having to slay the SAME monsters I had been killing, even if stronger and more aggressive, to craft identical looking armor to the one I had before was such a bummer. It doesn't help that for the longest time you'll be fighting the same exact monsters from High Rank. The first set of HR quests only give you the Purple R. Ludroth, Crimson Quropeco and the Pink Rathian, which are subspecies of the Royal Ludroth, Quropeco and Rathian, and only offer slightly different behaviors. It wasn't much fun. The second set of sub quests offered the first new monster, the Plesioth, and then a bunch of new recolors. I mean, subspecies. Finally, the third wave gave me the Zynogre, and so on... High Rank was a mood killer.

Exploiting an enemy's elemental weakness can make the hunt a whole lot easier.

 And the sad part about it is that other MH clones 'fixed' these things by being more streamlined. You don't need a map item to see how areas are connected, gathering materials doesn't require you to carry tools that randomly break, you don't need to break parts with specific weapons or damage types to obtain certain drops and the drop rate is much more lenient. Monster Hunter is needlessly complex in some aspects, which will certainly be a major plus for a certain niche.

 Also, keep in mind that the game will barely explain its mechanics to the player.  Like the stamina bar, which after a while decreases permanently unless you cook certain supplies, of course, you're not told which supplies fix this or how to make them until you actually make them. There's a bunch of capture missions that need the player to trap the enemy, but these traps have to be crafted, since they aren't readily available, and you're never told how to, you just have to try different things together. Fun. And you can't carry many traps with you, if you place the trap and the enemy runs away you're screwed, since you can't remove the trap and you can't place another one until that one breaks after seven minutes. A problem that is easily resolved in multiplayer, when every player can carry their own set of traps and each one can place one.

The Lagiacrus was the MH3's flagship monster. Never forget the original.

 Hopefully you don't think I'm over, because I'm not. The game is very tough, VERY tough. Not only can monsters get pretty brutal, you also have to contend with other factors besides your stamina meter, things like your weapon's sharpness. As you hit the enemy it will lose its edge to the point that your strikes will be deflected, so now you have to search for an opening and try to sharpen it back to shape. Healing can be hazardous too, since enemies have a sixth sense and they will go directly towards you if you try to drink a potion. It's a very brutal game, but it's quite fun whenever you get to fight a new monster, with new behaviors and attacks, and then get to craft a badass new set of armor and weapon. Single player offers you two companions in the form of Kayamba and Cha-cha, a pair of useless little critters. You can 'equip' them with dances, such as healing or buffs, but it seem like they'll never use the dance that you need. You get poisoned, so drink an antidote and seconds later they cast their antidote dance. Thanks for nothing. You'll soon learn not to really on them, but hey, at least sometimes they can act as diversions for you to chug a potion down your throat.

 Monster Hunter 3 also introduced underwater combat and... it's trash. Look, the controls are pretty cumbersome, but you can get used to them. The 3DS version has a pretty useful lock-on mechanic, so even if you don't have the analog-nub(I didn't!) you can press L to move the camera behind you or towards your enemy. It works really well, I promise, but when you add swimming and underwater combat into the mix... it gets really bad. To say that underwater monsters were my least favorite would be an understatement.

Don't rely on your Single Player minions, they are horrible.

 I'd also like to comment on how the game has worked ever since Monster Hunter on the PS2: Each Area is divided in various different, numbered areas, and are interconnected in different ways. The problem is... enemies LOVE hitting you through areas, which means sitting through TWO different loading screens, one when you get hit INTO another area and another one when you return to the fray. It's pretty annoying, and you also need to factor in that monsters love to get inside this transition zones, so it's pretty easy to be running towards a monster only to accidentally transition into another area, so having to sit through two loading screens again. And then you have to try to lure the monster out of that transition zone so that you can hit it.

 This is getting pretty lengthy, but I almost forgot to touch upon weapons. There're about a dozen different weapon types and each of them work very differently. Dual Swords are fast, and are built around Demon and Archdemon modes, in which you have to enter Demon stance, that drains your stamina constantly, and hit the enemy enough times to enter Archdemon stance. Or the Great Sword that works around charging your blows. With the long sword you have to build up a meter to unleash an special combo so that you can slowly go up the unleashed 'levels' to do more damage. Trust me, there's a ton of different ways to play, and Ultimate gives you one of each, so try them out until you find your best fit. Heck, I'd say that it's useful to learn at least to different weapons, since some weapons work better for certain monsters. But also keep in mind elemental weaknesses and strengths, unlike its clones, Elements DO matter in this game and can mean the difference between a long, tough fight or a short skirmish.

Meet Zynogre, the Japanese realese's flagship monster.

 Monster Hunter is a very fun game when it's at its best, but when it's not... I was bored outta my mind. Honestly, I'd rather play more streamlined clones, like Toukiden and Gods Eater, which give you better and more useful allies, are kinder with monster drops and gathering materials, are more streamlined when it comes to crafting what you need and even when you have to fight the tougher version of older monsters at least reward you with different looking, even if only in color, equipment. I don't regret my time spent in Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, but boy, could the have trimmed a lot of the fat....
 7.5 out of 10

Review #472: Seven Samurai 20XX

 The Seven in the title is very debatable.

A better cover would've had the Seven Samurai reflect on each blade...

 Y'know Seven Samurai, it's a bit of a classic but, for whatever reason, it never got a game... till Seven Samurai 20XX came around. This hack-and-slash game was received to a rather lukewarm criticism and now goes by forgotten by everyone. Except me.

 The story is very, VERY loose retelling of the movie by the same name, so much so that I think the word 'inspired' fits better. Set in a post-apocalyptic future Japan, you play as Natoe(Although everyone pronounces it differently, some call him 'Naoto', some call him 'Nato' and a few called him 'Noto') a youth trained in the way of the samurai who gets himself embroiled alongside six... actually, alongside five other samurai in order to protect a nearby town. Protect them from Humanoids, cyborg like beings that have recently began their assault. The story has ups and downs, but it's mostly an interesting tale. But the real winner here is the art-direction, everything looks amazing, characters are very unique and appealing while the environments are mysterious and enthralling... it's quite a treat for the eyes.

Villains and heroes look nothing short of cool in this game.

 The game is divided into 10 chapters, and every single chapter(Save 3) is a very linear affair, go from point A to point B while smashing robots(I refuse to call them humanoids) over and over again. I can't stress enough just how repetitive it is and just how many enemies you have to defeat. There's no exploration to be had, except for chapter 3, although the game does have six optional bosses, five of them hiding in the game's only open city in chapter 3, and a sixth one hiding in chapter 7. Regardless, there're no puzzles, there's no platforming: There's only fighting.

 So how does Natoe battle? Simple, Square is your attack button, X is your dodge-step and Triangle is your guard. Attacks can be chained infinitely, but you can also pull off 'Just Attacks' which I never really understood how they went off, something about holding a direction an enemy is in and pressing attack at the same time? Doesn't matter since they are simply critical hits. Your dodge step can be used to dodge, duh, but timing it just as you get attacked produces a 'Just dodge' that instantly puts you behind your enemy and restores some of your Nitoh-ryu gauge(More on this later).

See that red-square button? You'll be pressing that button a lot.

 Guarding works in an interesting way, by pressing triangle you'll slowly consume a bit of gauge from your blue bar beneath your health bar, and if you're attacked while this tiny bit is consumed you'll automatically block an attack. Just Guarding is done by, you guessed it, pressing triangle just as you're getting attacked, which parries the attack and completely refills your Nitoh-ryu gauge. Nito-ryu is dual-wielding, by pressing both R1 and L1 at the same time Natoe will grab his other sword and become extra deadly for a short while... but if you time your parries you'll be in this mode forever.

 In a bizarre twist of fate, making Natoe stronger is a matter of sucking. While most games would reward the player for doing well, in SS20XX your Strength, Guard an Nito-ryu gauges are extended by... getting hit a lot, uselessly expending your block gauge and not refilling your Nitoryu gauge with blocks. The worse you do, the more power-up points you'll get after clearing a stage. Idiotic. Throughout the game, fulfilling certain goals will unlock different-looking swords but... you can only equip them after finishing the game. Why? There're also a Survival and Boss Rush modes waiting to be unlocked.

A very brief respite from mashing that square button.

 The game is rather fun to play at times, but it's very basic. There's no hidden depth here, what you do in chapter 1 is what you'll be doing all the way till the end of this 5 hour ride. There're no new moves to be earned, no unlockable characters, no different weapon styles, nothing, everything you have in chapter 0 is everything you'll have in chapter 10.

 Still, the game's biggest flaw is its squandered potential. You have this seven fantastic-looking different characters and... you only play as Natoe. These other Samurai barely get any screen-time doing cool stuff either, its mostly talking or spitting excuses as to why they can't go with you. You've also got this fighting system that works well as a base, but the devs didn't go out of their way to do unique or interesting stuff with it, instead, they just called it a day.

 I can understand why critics where so harsh back in the day, it was 2004-release, Devil May Cry was a thing, standards had been set... and while the game doesn't do anything particularly bad there're so many other games that do what this game does even better. There's also the fact that even Dynasty Warriors manages to be less repetitive thanks to an engine that lets the player create combos with juggles and what not. Seven Samurai 20XX is a decent time waster, but nothing more.

 6.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Seven Samurai 20XX

 It's hard going into this after playing Devil May Cry 3....

 So I played the first chapter and... it's not very bueno?

 Firstly, the good:
 I adore the concept of a character that wields a sword but has a two-sword super mode, that's actually kinda cool. The animations is kinda cool too. Kinda. It's weird, moving around is kinda clunky, and performing the steps and somersaults feel heavy, but the attacking animations are kinda smooth. The guard system is kinda original, since it lasts for a few seconds.

 The bad:
 It's SOOOOOOO bland. Like, the first chapter had me pressing the square button, going from fight to fight to fight to fight and nothing else. The combat isn't every deep or engaging, you just tap that square button, with the occasional step or guard. No new moves to earn, no nuttin'.

 So... it's alrightish.

Review #471: Dragon Ball Z - Ultimate Battle 22

 Dragon Ball Z - Ultimate bad game 22.

It's actually called Ultimate 27. Kinda

 The good news? It's not the worst Dragon Ball Z I've ever played, it's actually playable. The bad news? It's still bad. Welcome to Ultimate Battle 22, or Ultimate Battle 27 if you input the code, a Dragon Ball fighting game released on the PS1 featuring 22(Or 27) characters from the series duking it out on a 2-D plane.

 The game offers an Arcade ladder('VS Cpu', that has you fighting all 22 opponents), VS Player, a Tournament Mode and a Build Up mode(make your character stronger), and that's pretty much it. Ultimate Battle takes after the Super Butoden games, and let me let you in a little secret... the Butoden series wasn't very good in the first place. You've got a punch button, a kick button, an energy attack button and triangle that lets you fly. You can charge lost energy by holding any of the three attack buttons, which takes a few seconds before it actually goes off. There're combos, special moves and energy-consuming super moves all done by different directional inputs.

Even Hercule wishes he wasn't in the game.

 The game feels very floaty and fighting isn't much fun. It's all too easy to get a grab instead of a punch when pressing square while near an opponent, and the game's engine doesn't leave much room for creativity when it comes to chaining your attacks. It's basic, bland and lifeless.

 But a mundane game I could do with, if only it didn't look so bad. To the game's credit, they tried making the sprites look like anime cut-outs, and they nailed it, but the animation is horrible and the sprites look very out of place, like the characters don't quite belong on the backgrounds. They are pretty inconsistent too, Recoome looks as if he's been shrunk so his head is tiny in comparison to others, while 18's head is enormous. And what about SSJ3 Goku's horrible walk cycle? The game, as a whole, looks horrible. On the flip-side, the music is pretty good... but a lot of it doesn't fit a Fighting game, like Dabura's theme or Mirai Trunks'.

What's up with Goku's leg?

 The icing on the cake is that they removed a bit of stuff from the Japanese version, namely the pre-fight conversations... luckily, nothing of value was lost and having them in the game wouldn't have changed a thing about its quality. Also, they named Gogeta 'Vegeto', I swear to god...

 Dragon Ball Z Ultimate Battle 22 is bad, alright? It's not the worst Dragon Ball Z game ever, which is a very depressing statement to make, and is, in fact, quite playable. But it's simply bland and rather lackluster, why would you ever want to play it? Morbid curiosity?
3.0 out of 10