Now Playing: Dead to Rights

 Amazing,

 Third person shooters haven't aged very well, you can blame games like Gears of War and Resident Evil for that, but, Jesus Christ does Dead to Rights still has got it! The shooting feels so good, and plays so well, there're many interesting mechanics like disarms or diving and slow-mo diving, and the aim button works pretty well, clearly, the game was designed to make the most of not having to aim with the right analog stick. The melee combat also feels pretty good.

 That said, there're some rather... uneeded minigames included. The Exotic Dance minigame was kinda weird, the weight lifting was just silly and the punching bag one was dumb. The game could've easily done without them.

 All in all, the game's pretty much brilliant, I'm having a blast.

Review #388: Wild Arms

 Ain't a wild ride.

 I love the few Wild Arms I've played. Wild Arms 2 is bloody great, while Wild Arms 3 rests highly upon my favorite JRPGs ever. Some people consider Wild Arms 1 to be the best one, so of course I had to try it... It was not what I expected.

 You play as a team of Dream Chasers: Rudy, the dull mute hero type who has the power to wield the fearful ARMs, Jack Van Burace, the victim of a poor localization who's got a few skeletons in his closet, searching for 'Power' and lastly, Cecilia, the princess who loves escaping out of the castle, because every JRPG princess loves escaping her castle. While Wild Arms 2 and 3 had this fantastic and original Spaghetti Western theming to them, Wild Arms 1 is more of a generic fantasy game. There're golems, ancient steampunk-ish technology waiting to be found, princesses, castles, an ancient race of elves-equivalents named Elw and, lastly, the enemy race: The Machines. While there're a few twists and turns, a few more obvious than others, the story was a bit too 'me-too' as far as RPGs go for my liking, and characters were too one-dimensional. It fails to engage the player, but at least it has a few interesting ideas.

 This, being a JRPG, plays like one to a tee. Run around, explore towns, traverse dungeons, fight a few random battles and defeat some bosses for good measure. What's interesting about Wild Arms is how they deal with exploration: All three characters have their own set of 4 tools, which are used to solve puzzles while inside dungeons, Take Rudy, he can use bombs to destroy cracked walls, or use the Power Glove(It's so bad) to hit stuff, while Jack can use a grappling hook or send his pet flying mouse to grab stuff from afar. It really sets Wild Arms apart from other games... but, sadly, this time around puzzles are rather lame and simple, to the point of the use of tools feeling more like sorting obstacles than figuring out how to deal with situations. The series will really get the most out of the Tool system in subsequent games.

 But what's really puzzling is how the game progresses. More than once will the game expect you to just roam around, suffering dozens upon dozens of random encounters, until you somehow bump into where you are supposed to go next. It's poor game design, add to that the poor translation and you've a recipe for annoyance. Some puzzles are a bit too vague as well. There's this instance in which you have to speak with a nun, of course the game doesn't tell you that you need to, but she's blocked off by a kid that mentions being scared of the giant rat monsters. Somehow you have to realize that you've to use the flying mouse on the kid to get him to move and then talk to the nun... Seriously?

 Combat fares much better, using a more primitive set of mechanics than future games. Battles follow the traditional turn based system, and on each turn you've a decent variety of things you could do. You can swap out a character's equipment, you can use items, use spells/skills, attack or use FP attacks. FP is built as you take and deal damage, there're four levels to the FP gauge, and each character has four unique FP skills they can use. It's a rather fun system that works really well... .and which would be refined to a shine in latter games.

 It's interesting to see Wild Arms' origins, but this first game leaves a lot to be desired. Sure, battles are fun, but not as fun as they are in future games thanks to all the added bells and whistles. It lacks the fantastic customization that you could do on your party, and while I'm sure the tool system was original at its time... the puzzles get SO much better and so much more creative than this game. Heck, even their stories are much more engrossing and original than this generic pastiche of tropes. Wild Arms 1 is not a bad game, but it stands eclipsed by its much superior sequels.
 5.5 out of 10

Review #387: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3

 Who'd knew The Force was fond of skating?

 There's no denying that Tony Hawk 3 was the bees knees at the time of its release. It was the culmination of all that was Tony Hawk, and a brave new step into the next generation. And while the game has stood the test of time... Tony Hawk 4 and the other sequels happened.

 You can play either Career, Single Session(2 minutes to score points), Free Skate(No time limit, fool around any level), create your own skate park and a few two player modes. Career has no story, no fat. It's just you, 8 levels, 2 minutes and their goal lists. If you ask me, it's rather... archaic. Mind you, I adore arcade-like games, but you need to finish a certain amount of goals in order to progress to the next level, and considering that about 70% of the goals require you finding something or figuring out how to do it(Because 'Start the Earthquake' totally means grinding 4 rails), and running on 2-minute limits is rather tedious. This was tweaked with Tony Hawk 4's mission based approach, which I think works much better. Regardless, the game's levels are distinct, fun and well crafted, and the goals on each are very varied.

 While some may argue that subsequent games overdid it with mechanics and what not, and would claim that Pro Skater 3's mechanics are all that's needed... I digress. Climbing stairs is a pain in the butt, and if you messed up, you are better off losing time and finding another way up instead of trying to fight gravity and grind a rail upwards. This was fixed with the ability to get off your board. Sticker-Slapping/Wallplanting was another fun mechanic that would be added later that would let you continue combos even when riding straight into a wall. What I mean to say is that, yes, the mechanics present in Tony Hawk 3 work, and work well... but future games added so much more to the game, and mostly fun or useful tools, it's hard to come back to this one.

 If you don't care about unlockables, you can be done with the game in little more than half an hour. In order to unlock every secret skater you'll either have to complete the game 100% with every skater or... use cheat codes. The extras are worth it, what other game lets you skate as Darth Maul or Wolverine!?

 Is Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 still a good game? Undoubtedly. Has it aged poorly? Not at all... but as far as I'm concerned, the subsequent games are all much, much more fun to play, and offer a whole lot more than simply 'bells and whistles', they improved and evolved the formula. But, hey, if you still prefer the older format, this one still plays like a dream.
 6.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Wild Arms

 Where's my Wild West?

 I thought the Wild Arms games had a western motif... why am I fighting with Swords?! Where's the sand? Where're the desserts!?

 Ah well, first impressions are good. I love the sprites, while they have a quasi-3D feel to them, they also feel very... SNES-y, in how the world looks and characters move. The combat, too, while being polygonal, it still feels very SNES-y.

 I'm liking it a lot!

Review #386: Super Bust-a-Move

 Maybe it's time for a 'Worst Cover of the Year' category?

 Welcome to Super Bust-a-Move, the fifth Playstation release of the long-lived Bust-a-Move series, and it's kinda... it's kinda dated.

 What is Bust-a-Move? It's one of those puzzle games in which you have to clear a screen filled with colorful bubbles by throwing your own colored bubbles at them, from the bottom to the top. Your bubbles will stick against the bubbles at the top, and matching three or more bubbles of the same color will make them pop. You can't waste too much time as the ceiling is constantly lowering, and if a bubble touches your character at the bottom of the screen, it's game over.

 There're three different modes: 1-Player Puzzle mode, which is an arcade ladder of sorts in which you pick your own route, VS CPU and VS 2 Player. Longevity is something this game lacks. Also, for whatever reason, the entire cast of playable characters is new, and they went for a sort of Monster-pop-culture look that is kinda hideous.

 Super Bust-a-Move is relatively good, since the concept is so undeniably good that it's been cloned and ripped off to death, but it's also a victim of time. While the lack of modes was unforgivable even at its time of release, there's no denying that this kind of game has become easy to access, thanks to Facebook or mobile games, and free to play. There's absolutely no reason as to why you'd want to play this version instead, except maybe the original characters, and, if you ask me, there's a lot to be desired in that front.
 4.0 out of 10

Review #385: Star Wars Episode 1 - Jedi Power Battles

 Jedi's lamest battles.

 It was a great concept: Take a Jedi from the many introduced in Episode 1, and take them through various levels of beat'em up action, heck, take a buddy with you as well! It was a great concept. But why was the end result so bad?

 While Episode 1 dealt with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's adventure, this game is a very, veeeeeery loose retelling of the movie, and in addition to Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, you can play as three other Jedi: Plo Koon, Mace Windu and Adi Gallia. There're few but noticeable differences between all Jedi, from the speed and power of their moves down to their force powers. This is a beat'em up game, which means you'll traverse linear stages slicing and dicing your enemies. As you go through all 10 levels, scoring high amount of points will let you earn new combos, more health, more Force power gauge or even new force powers. And heck, you can even unlock a few other playable characters!

 It sounds awesome, doesn't it? But it all goes down the drain as soon as you gain control of your Jedi. You've three attack buttons, Low, Medium and High, and while performing the simple 2 and 3 button combos is easy, using the unlockable combos require some very weird timing. Moving while pressing buttons will perform unwieldy dash attacks, so you have to be staying still before pressing buttons if you want to use the useful attacks, which is kinda annoying, but you can get used to it. The force powers are a decent addition, but you have to unlock them by getting the highest amount of points possible in a stage, which, to be honest, is a drag, as you must search every nook and cranny for collectibles or destructible objects, which also halts the pace of the game.

 Level design is pretty bad as well, chief of its problems being the unnecessary amount of terrible platforming sections that have no place in this game. Your character won't project shadows over certain types of terrain, which is one of the worst sins a 3-D platform game can commit. Then there's also the cheap enemy placement that is sure to shoot at you as you jump towards platforms or push you off stages with their knock-up attacks. The game runs on credits, so hope to god you don't lose all your credits to botomless pits. Or to glitches, like getting stuck on a veranda. Or to poor checkpoint design which respawns every single enemy and might just respawn you in the middle of harms way. It's not an enjoyable game. At least you can bring a buddy along to lessen the tedium.

 Jedi Power Battles falls short of its fantastic concept. There were some great ideas at play, it could've been a great game, but... it's not.
3.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Star Wars Episode 1 - Jedi Power Battles

 Not one with the force.

 So, somehow I made it to level 2, and now I'm presented with platforming sections that have nothing to do in this game, and I'm like... no, this game isn't very good.

 I started the game on Jedi difficulty with Plo Koon, since he looks like a Predator and wields a yellow lightsaber, but pulling off moves is rather dumb. You've to be perfectly still unless you want to do running attacks, which are unwieldy and hard to aim. But why even bother with that, L1 is the button you want to spam in order to kill everything. Everything.

 I think I will start again and lower the difficulty, the game just isn't worth my time, and I'm tired of being sent back 4-5 minutes because I failed the silly platforming segment that shouldn't have been in the game in the first place.

Review #384: Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam

 A downward spiral course straight to mediocrity.

 What is this game? Thank you for asking! This is a Tony Hawk game based around Pro Skater 1's worst level: Downhill Jam, yes, they built an entire game around the first game's lamest level and the end result is... well, it's better than it deserves to be!

 There's no story mode to this game, you just pop in the game and you'll be received by two different modes: Downhill Challenge and Multiplayer. Multiplayer simply lets you play in a few different modes against another player, but the real meat of the game lies in Downhill Challenge. It's made up of 50ish goals, and as you complete levels you'll unlock more characters, costumes, more boards, more stages and a few other extras. Goals come in different flavors, just as simple races down the different courses against other skaters, slalom challenges through gates, having to smack a certain amount of bystanders as you go down, elimination races and even a few weird ones like having to avoid certain parts of the floor which turned to lava! There's certainly a fair amount of missions, but sadly, the amount of stages just isn't enough, so they will get boring pretty soon.

 While this is first and foremost a racing game, it retains the same controls from Tony Hawk's main games. Circle and Square do tricks, hold X to speed up and perform Ollies, triangle Grinds and... and you can use cheats to enable manuals as well. A new addition is L2 to boost when the gauge is full, which is filled by earning points as you trick around. You can also pummel your sides by tapping L1 or R1, which earns you points if you smack passerbys or knocks other racers off their boards. It kinda works, but be ready, the physics feel fairly different from the other Tony Hawk games, so it might take a while to adapt.

 The game's highpoint are the different courses: They are big, they are pretty, they are fun to skate down from top to bottom and they also offer various different routes. There're no pros besides Tony Hawk, but the new cartoony skaters are alright and they fit the tone of the game.

 As good as the controls are, as good as the level design is, the game falls apart on a technical levels. There're a dozen different graphical glitches, I came across multiple invisible grounds. Some collisions also felt kinda wonky, and don't even let me get started on the unacceptable slew of framerate issues that rear their head more often than I would've liked. Don't be surprised if the framerate issues throw you off your grove. The game froze on me once, and after clearing the tutorial I had to restart the game since it wouldn't read my button inputs. Yeah, it's a bit of a mess.

 But the cherry on top is the rubberband AI. You'll easily catch up to CPU opponents, but don't worry, it doesn't matter how well you skate, they will magically catch up to you. Dear developers: Rubberband AI isn't fun, it's annoying, please do away with it. Thank you.

 Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam isn't a total stinker, racing down these fantastic levels can be fun... when you aren't dealing with glitches or framerate issues. To be honest, it would've been easy to build upon this engine and make a better sequel, but it won't ever happen.
 4.5 out of 10

Archile's Grab-bag: Ebay Edition

  It's been a while since I've done one of this, and boy, is this one a doozy!

 Darkstone: Filler game. There was a 'Buy 3 get 10% off' deal, and Darkstone was very cheap, so I purchased it. I played it a bit on PC, but the game failed to really grip me. Guess I'll be giving it another go. I never did figure what 'Age' did to your characters!

 Wild Arms: There're three videogame RPG sagas I want to play ASAP: Suikoden, Wild Arms and Shadow Hearts. I don't know why I waited so long on Wild Arms 1, considering I love Wild Arms 2 and Wild Arms 3 is one of my favorite JRPGs ever. Ever!!

 Star Wars Episode 1 - Jedi Power Battles: While I never finished it, I remember having played this game a fair amount back when I was younger, so I wanted to give it another go.

 Castlevania - Curse of Darkness: The only Castlevania I've easy access to but hadn't played yet. To be honest, the Pokemon-type gameplay doesn't really appeal to me, but apparently it's supposed to be a better game than Lament of Innocence, which I thought was great, so I'm willing to give it a chance.

 Dead to Rights: I remember having read that this game was hard as balls, yet when I finally played it... I got through it without much hassle. It was a fun third person shooter, but this genre hasn't aged well, so I hope the game's still fun.

 Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3: I used to play this one on PS1, and apparently, it's a different game! But regardless, my quest to play all Tony Hawk games marches on.

 Suikoden IV: The only cheap Suikoden game, it was as good a time as any to grab it. I probably won't be playing this one anytime soon, at least until I can secure the rest of this rather expensive series.

 Super Bust-a-Move: Back in my Nintendo 64 days, I remember reading about the Bust a Move games, and while I was mildly interested, I never got to rent them, since no local Blockbuster carried them! Ah well, it was a good chance to add more variety to my PS2 library.

 Final Fantasy XII: The beginning of the end? For some reason I had put off playing this game. Maybe because they did away with turn based combat for this MMO hybrid weird thing... but having played Xenoblade, I will give it a chance. At least it doesn't play itself.

 Wild Arms 5: The final game in the Wild Arms franchise, it'll be a while till I tackle this one, since I mean to play 1, Alter Code F and 4 before it. Honestly, I forsook the franchise after they went with the HEX battle system, since why break what isn't broken... but I realized that it was pretty close minded of me to hate the changes without trying them, so here I am.

Now Playing: Tony Hawk's Downhill Jam

 That one level...

 So, I boot up the game and... no story, just a mission select screen. Then I have to go through the tutorial, which hung up and I had to reset. I played a couple of races and it didn't feel right. I thought the game was terrible.

 ...but I soldiered on. I remember my kind of games: Who cares about plot? I play games, not watch them, plus, it brought me a sense of... nostalgia, reminded me of old Nintendo 64 games that didn't need all these fluff. And I didn't get another glitch. And I learned to like the game.

 It's not brilliant by any means, but it can be rather fun. Something still feels off, maybe, maybe it's just the fact that the physics are so similar, yet different from mainline Tony Hawk games. Hopefully, by the time I review it I've a firmer grasp on what feels so weird.

 Basically, it's decent.

Review #383: Koudelka

 Resident Fantasy I

 Koudelka is the result of a game director that wanted to make a game akin to survival horror games, but a team that wanted to develop an RPG like Square's. It's an interesting mix, akin to Parasite Eve, but with a flavor all to itself.

 The game puts you in the heels of Koudelka, a gipsy prostitute medium that finds herself in Nemeton Monastery, at the behest of a ghost that called to her. It's not too soon before she meets Edward, a man of vices and maybe a few virtues. Last to join the party is father James, a man of religion and literature. These three will bicker, fight and bond their way through the mysteries surrounding Nemeton Monastery, it's eccentric inhabitants and the creepy monsters seeking to make mincemeat out of our heroes. While the story is nothing to write home about, the main three characters are very interesting, and as unlikely as JRPG heroes get, and there're a few very poignant scenes that make you fall in love with them. The game's monster design also deserves praise, these monsters are creepy and brilliantly designed, some of these are unlike anything you've fought in any other JRPG or Survival Horror game before!

 At first glance, this sounds like a Survival Horror game. The entire game takes place inside Nemeton Monastery, there're guns as well as limited ammunition, there're puzzles that require hogging items around, and doors that have to be unlocked in order to open up shortcuts. It's pretty much a Resident Evil ripoff.... until you come across a random encounter, which is when the game's true nature surfaces.

 Battles are fought by turns, dictated by your party's agility as well as the enemies' agility. There're some strategic elements at play as well, you can move character through an invisible grid, you need to be in range if you are to attack enemies with melee weapons, but guns can bypass having to run towards your enemy, or you can simply use magic. You've to be careful though, ammunition is limited, and every melee weapon will break eventually.

 There're a few conflicting elements in the game, however. for instance, the more you use weapons, the higher your proficiency with them will be, and the more damage you'll deal with them. So you want to conserve weapons, but you also need to use them in order to enhance your abilities with them! To be fair, Koudelka's magic will do short work of most enemies in the game, and if you build Edward right, he can use his bare fists just fine.

 Speaking of building characters, when you level up you'll be granted 4 Ability Points to spread among the characters' stats. While you could build them in any way you want, you should strengthen their strengths instead of trying to play against archetypes or building jack of all trades. Koudelka's built as a mage, so making her a tank or a melee character will handicap yourself in the long run, while Edward is supposed to be your main tank as well as your main attacker! James is a little bit unique in this way, as his stats lend himself to act as a secondary tank, a melee attacker or another mage... but Magic is so useful and important in the game, that he's better off as an off-tank mage!

 A little issue you may have as well is that armor and accessories are entirely reliant on luck. You've to hope that enemies drop armor or rings. Heck, if you're unlucky, you might get stuck with armor weak to the bosses element and have to grind for something better. To be honest, I never had any trouble of this kind, as I had plenty of spare weapons, armors and rings, but you may not be as lucky. Ironically, the game's biggest issue is that the game is paced like a Survival Horror game, which means that it's a very, very short game. While it's made up of four discs, I was on disc 2 by the second hour, disc 3 on my 6th hour, disc 4  by hour 8 and finished the game in under 10 hours! And I played the game blind, so I wasted a few minutes trying to figure out some things.

 Koudelka was fantastic. I liked the survival horror/JRPG mixture, I loved the cast of characters and I enjoyed the combat system. It has its issues, some design choices clash with each other, and it's a very short game... but it's a very enjoyable one.
 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Koudelka

 Even the game isn't sure how to pronounce it!

 Koudelka certainly is... different, but in a good way, I think. I liked how you can customize each character's stats, and the combat system is relatively fun, I don't understand why it was panned at the time. Considering the time of its release, the voice acting is relatively decent, and I'm loving the story, it has had some pretty creative plot points.

 What I didn't like was... breakable weapons. I hate it when weapons have durability, worst of all, you're expected to raise your proficiency by using weapons, but if you use them, you break them! The encounter rate might be a bit too high, maybe.

 Well, this year I decided to give the entire Shadow Hearts franchise a go, and so far, it's looking promising!

Review #382: Sonic Heroes

 No hero can save this game.

 Sonic doesn't have the exact perfect record after he hit 3D. While most people would agree that 3D Sonic is pretty terrible, a few vocal minority still like them, while a few would concede that Adventure 1 and 2 were decent. Sonic Heroes was the next game after Adventure 2, and it's all kinds of terrible.

 Sonic Heroes ditches Adventure's format, instead focusing on four different 3-man teams. Rose, Big and Cream have a silly adventure about searching for different characters. Their adventure consist of short stages and few enemies. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles represent the medium difficulty setting, with more enemies and longer versions of the same stages, trying to foil Eggman. Shadow, Rouge and Omega represent hard difficulty, with the longest stages and hardest challenges, while Rouge looks for treasure and Shadow and Omega search for Eggman. Lastly, there's Team Chaotix, with mission based gameplay. They all suck.

 While the stories might differ, each team has only slightly different stages. The game is your typical platformer: Go from one end of the stage to the other, jumping through platforms and defeating enemies on your way. As with any Sonic game, you can collect rings in order to be able to tank extra hits, as long as you are holding at least one ring you'll be fine from enemy attacks, but getting hit makes you drop every ring you've collected... still, there's plenty of time to pick some of them up before they disappear. Teams also play slightly different, for example, Sonic and Shadow can tap Square to dash through ring-trails, while Team Chatoix's Espio throws shurikens instead. Knuckles and Omega attack in pretty much the same ways, but Big the Cat and Vector can belly pound form the air, etc. There's a heavy focus in formations, Speed, Power and Flight, and you'll have to switch formations in order to clear different objectives and progress through the stages.

 Speaking of Stages, Team Chaotix has some rather annoying mission-based stages, like destroying every enemy or gathering X amount of something. This can either be a chore or easy, and if you miss something... you've got to loop back to the start of the stage and traverse it all the way to the end again in hope of finding what you missed. Team Sonic and Team Dark have boring, annoyingly long stages that go on forever and overstay their welcome as soon as they hit the 8 minute mark. The annoyance is exacerbated thanks to shoddy level design and terrible controls.

 Let's start with the controls: Every character moves too damn fast, and in a very slippery and floaty fashion. It's impossible not to die because stuff was out of your control, because your character slipped out of the platform. Knuckles and Omega, the Power characters from Team Dark and Team Sonic, dash around when you use your normal attacks, you will fall down over and over again because of how slippery it is. Hitting enemies also lacks feedback, you it feels as if you are hitting air. It was so bad that I avoided using Shadow/Sonic/Espio/Rose's homing attacks since I was scared I would fall off the platform, and Omega and Knuckles were so finicky that I was reduced to using jumping attack almost exclusively. Basically: Running around is slippery and floating, jumping is floaty and imprecise and ground-combat will get you killed. Just moving around can get you killed in Sonic Heroes, and it won't feel like it's your fault at all. The camera is wonky as well, sometimes deciding to zoom in on your character for no apparent reason, and using the analog stick to move it around is as imprecise as moving around.

 As for the levels themselves.. it runs through the entire gamut of problems. Some stages have bad designs, like the Casino level, featuring the worst pinball physics I've ever seen, and then pits are introduced and... let's just say that if you are playing as Team Sonic or Team Dark, you will sink a lot of lives here. Then there are problems related to the shoddy game design itself, a few times, as Sonic and Shadow, you will be required to tap Square to automatically follow a trail of rings... more times than I can count, Shadow and Sonic fell off the trail to their deaths for no apparent reason. There're a few 'autorun' segments in which you are supposed to not press a thing, I think? I think because sometimes getting through these was a gamble, if I pressed something I died and if I didn't I died too, either because, somehow, my character fell off the path or because at the end they decided to jump in... another direction? I can't count the times I didn't know if the game expected me to press anything or expected me not to, thus I don't even know how I got through them. And don't even let me get started on the fact that characters don't produce shadows, making platforming in 3-D even more of a hassle.

 If you hate someone with a passion, you can maybe coerce them into playing the silly 2-player versus mode with you. There's a needless amount of multiplayer modes, if you are so inclined, from races to battles. Gathering all Chaos Emeralds and finishing all four story modes(Are you feeling masochistic?) unlocks a final chapter... but it's not worth it. The game is an uncontrollable mess, it's not worth it.

 Sonic Heroes is awful. It's almost unplayable at times with how difficult to move around safely it is. If you like Sonic... I'm so sorry that you have to endure this. Nothing about this game works well, there's almost nothing good I can say about this game, except maybe that it looks pretty and that the concept of 3-man teams was pretty interesting. It's a shame nothing works well. I don't remember the last time a game made me so angry.
 2.5 out of 10

Now Playing: Sonic Heroes

 How come people enjoy Sonic games?

 I thought American Wasteland was gonna be bad, it wasn't. I thought Vexx was gonna be terrible, it wasn't. I thought the Hobbit wouldn't be able to live up to my nostalgia, it did. But man oh man, Sonic Heroes is awful. I would play this game back when I was younger, and I remember liking it a whole lot. The whole three-character team aspect of the game made me like it more than Adventure 1 even.

 But there's no denying that the game controls like butt. Precise movement is impossible, moving around feels very awkward, and I've fallen to my death due to shoddy movement/hit detection/physics wonkiness more time than I can count! I can't fathom anybody liking this game, it doesn't feel good. Jumping is floaty, running is floaty and slippery and hitting enemies feels like hitting air! In what world is this a good game!?

 Needless to say, I'm not impressed. I'm the opposite of overjoyed. I hate this game.

Review #381: Tony Hawk's American Wasteland

 The last, final great Tony Hawk game?

 I made a mistake. I thought that the biggest culprit of the lack of creativity and interesting level design was due to shifting to an open world structure. American Wasteland proved me wrong, being the first game in the franchise to go for an open world, it nailed it out of the park, and while it's not my favorite game in the series, it's yet another damn good installment.

 Upon selecting story mode, you'll notice that Create-a-Character has seen some cuts, namely, your story mode character must be a male, and you can't tweak his face. It's sure to disappoint a few, and there're very few reasons as to why your character is locked as a male. The open world feels very nice, and the different areas, like East L. A. or Santa Monica are separated by cleverly disguised transition-loading-skate zones. Thanks to this, each Skate Park was allowed to retain a theme and personality to itself, and while you can notice the shift to realism, since objectives are not as over the top as they were in Underground 2 and levels feel more urban and realistic than before, there's still the classic Tony Hawk charm, with all the color that would be sorely missed in future installments as well as silly set pieces culminating into a crazy Skate park made up from parts gathered from all over the game, the eponymous American Wasteland.

 There were a few missteps taken in the switch to the new formula, for instance, some story objectives that must be completed in order to progress require you to pony up cash, which can only be made by fulfilling a few random, infinitely respawning trick missions. You will have to stop by and do a few of these at least once in your playthrough, more if you are into customizing your appearance by buying clothes or what have you. It's an annoyance, and there's no good reason as to why have these dumb obstacles. Speaking of clothes, some missions will change your clothes or appearance, and the only way to put on your old clothes is by returning to the store in which you bought it, there should've been a more convenient way to change your clothes in-game. They also changed how stats are enhanced, now you have to accept challenges in sets of five, and you have to wait an in-game day in order for the challenge list to renew itself with new challenges. While you can skip time by sleeping, it's such a silly mechanic that won't keep the player from overleveling, but it will make it annoying. It was done so well in Underground 2!

 From what I understand, Underground 1 had a car. Underground 2 had multiple different special vehicle-characters. American Wasteland went with less, but deeper: Now you can ride a BMX. The BMX controls entirely different from the Skateboard, and it's entirely optional, the only missions that require it can be skipped. I did dabble in riding the bike, but only to make quick money from the bike random trick missions. Still, I think it was a good idea, it plays better than most vehicle-characters from Underground 2.

 American Wasteland also features every 2-Player Mode the series has had since like forever, and also has Classic Mode, like Underground 2. It works a tiny bit different though, as Classic is now made up of an entirely different set of levels from Story mode, although they are simple updated versions of older stages. Since there're less levels, you start with higher stats, which made it more fun to go through than Underground 2's. As is to be expected, create a Park and create a Trick also return.

 This final PS2 entry took me by surprise. It started off rather off-putting, but it quickly proved itself to be up to the standards of the franchise. It also features the most extensive moveset and toolset available in the franchise, which makes it a fantastic game to pick up and play, if only just to fool around the levels.

 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Tony Hawk's American Wasteland

 The beginning of the end.

 American Wasteland is... is... I don't even...
 You could say my first impressions are not very good. The character creator feels so limited, unless you unlock more stuff in other towns, this is garbage. Also, you start off without every move, which is rather... annoying. I've been playing Tony Hawk since 3, why do you take the moves away from me? And earning your stats now is cumbersome, to say the least. Underground 2 had nailed it just right, this is change for the sake of change. And it's no bueno.

 This first skatepark was... decent, I guess? Kinda small, there was no place to pull off the spine transfer required to upgrade my stats. Fun. The humor is very Tony Hawkish, which was missing in the two games that would come after this one, so that's good. It's also a very colorful game, another thing those later games lacked.

 Meh, it seems rather mediocre.

Review #380: Vexx

 Halfway fun, halfway vexing.

 If you grew up gaming in the 90s, you ought to be familiar with collectathons. Happy-go-lucky games featuring anthropomorphic animals on their quest to collect dozens of magic mcguffins and the such. Enter Vexx, an attempt to fuse Mario 64 with edginess and hardcoreness and darkness and the such.... and it kinda worked.

 Meet Vexx, apparently the last of his kind, after Yabu enslaved his people, and murdered them and his grandfather, which made this adventure personal. Coming across the Talons, mystical weapons that he can't take off, Vexx ventures into 9 different worlds, in order to collect 81 beating hearts and open up the way to Yabu and avenge his grandfather. The game has a rather conflicting artsyle, since enemies and Vexx himself are rather... cutesy, but the world tries to be dark and bleak, dealing with murder and a female... thing with protruding nipples being kinda there as the narrator... it's like they didn't commit fully to either cuteness or edginess and the end result is a rather unmemorable world and characters.

 Sadly, this seeps into the aesthetics of the levels themselves. Platformers of yore had very memorable level designs, not so is the case with Vexx. Each of the 9 worlds have very few landmarks that stand out or personality, which can be rather disappointing. Every world also has a different amount of hearts hidden inside of it, but there's a short poem as well as guiding arrows helping you discover how to get to them. The game starts off mindnumbingly easy, but the latter stages are just evil, and I'd argue that the last level is very poorly designed as well. Also, a few hearts might be a bit too hard to find. One of the Hearts from level 2 must be obtained in level 1, and nothing hints to that, and later on, you must find the right order to press a few switches around a fountain... with no hints as to what is the order, and pushing the wrong switch results in you losing health! Luckily, you only need 60 hearts out of 81 in order to beat the game, and there's no bonus for 100% to care about.

 That said, if something works well, it's the controls. Vexx moves sorta like Mario or Banjo, he can jump, long jump(By crouching and running) or high jump(By crouching), and it all works rather well! Movement is pretty smooth once you get the hang of it, and it won't be too soon before you'll be using acrobatics in style to even skip certain portions of stages! There's also a needless depth to combat, Vex can perform different combos depending on your timing with the square button, as well as juggle enemies with jump kicks, but it amounts to nothing really, enemies can soak up so many hits that I just started avoiding them altogether. Vexx can also gain access to 2 power ups, the Molten Armor and the Wing Suit, they are in a very few amount of levels, and they only exist in order to gather a few hearts, and if you thought flying with Mario was hard, you ain't seen nothing yet, flying with Vexx is stilted, wonky and unsatisfying.

 There were a a few issues that really hurt the game, like the poor camera that loves getting stuck on objects, it will get in your way at one time or the other. Some levels also feature a few too many loading screens, which can make Hearts like the 'collect 100 shards' objectives a real chore. There's also the archaic Mario 64 mechanic of sending you back into the Hub after every heart you collect, which gets annoying really fast. The last boss... is something else, even after you figure out waits to exploit his AI, it's still hard! Uppercut-to-ground-pound-to-flip-kick his swarm of minions on the first phase, and then you need to figure out that it's better to long jump rather than high jump out of the way.... it's quite the ordeal.

 Vexx tried. The devs' heart was in the right place, and they nailed most of the controls just fine. It's a shame that they couldn't fully commit to this 'we are dark and edgy!' direction, and how forgettable the worlds are. Vexx is fun when it's fun, but when it hits its lows... it can get rather vexing.
 6.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Vexx

 It's a me, hardcore edgelord Mario!

 Do you remember Vexx? I do. It was hyped as 'Mario for adult players', and me, as an edgy forum-frequenter mememaster teen bought into it. And when I finally came across it... it was OK. Still, A nagging feeling of 'I need to complete it' got into my head last year, and here we are.

 First of all... I'm not impressed. It feels like Mario 64, if a bit more clunky. I was excited at first, 'I'm gonna complete it!' and then... I was warped back into the Hub, losing all my progress in the level... yeah, that's way too antiquated and boring for me. I think I'll just do the bare minimum.

 Anyways, I'm not impressed, and while I wasn't expecting much, the issue above kinda soured me about Vexx, so I'm kinda not looking forwards to finishing it. But hey, at least Tony Hawk - American Wasteland is coming up next!

Review #379: Transformers - Devastation

 A beautiful oiled machine or nothing but scrap metal?

 Remember Platinum Games? They make some pretty dope games, focusing on action, creativity in combos and style. However, in order to produce their bigger projects, they also have to dabble into more simple, lower budget games. Not unlike Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Legend of Korra, Transformers Devastation follows Platinum's 'Generic Action Game' blueprint to a tee, it's fun, it works... but it leaves something to be desired.

 Basically, Megatron is up to no good, so it's up to Optimus Prime, Gridlock, Bumblebee, Wheeljack and Sideswap to stop him and his cohorts. The first thing that might disappoint players is that Decepticons are unplayble, and while you could argue that they wouldn't fit with the plot, seeing how all five Autobots are pretty much glorified skinswaps, it lays a bit flimsy as an excuse. The game consists of seven chapters that seem to get shorter and shorter as you advance through the game, lasting up to... 4-5 hours at most, but at least stages have optional side missions as well as about 50 challenge missions if you are so inclined.

 If you've ever played an action game by Platinum Games, you'll feel right at home. with both Weak and Strong attacks that can be chained in four-hit combos as well as a dodge button that, if timed correctly, will slow down time, letting you get in some hits on your opponent. There're two gauges below your health bar, one fills slowly over time and lets you use your unique Special Attack, one of the few things that set apart each Autobot, while the other fills as you deal damage, and is used to engage your super attack, which once again, is unique to each character.

 As you low through enemies and explore stages you'll come across loot, not that far unlike Diablo. Each Autobot can equip up to four weapons, most characters can equip most weapons, but there are a very few weapon only usable by some. Regardless, besides the two unique moves mentioned above as well as the stats, every character uses every weapon in the exact same way. Grimlock is a bit more fun than the rest, since his Vehicle mode, a T-Rex, actually gets its own unique moveset, soemthing the Vehicle Modes can't claim. Excess weapons can be used to power up your favorite weapons, as well as putting their unique buffs on them.

 Combat is fast and furious, landing hits in feels very good, and it runs very smoothly. You can also link vehicle attacks after your four hit combos, and these look badass. But, for as fun as melee combat can be, it will eventually grow a bit boring, since there isn't much room for creativity. It doesn't help that the game only has 3 different 'Stages', the Town, which makes up four chapters, and two underground bases. It quickly grows old. And as fun as combat is, it lacks a bit of finesse, there's no hard lock-on, instead, your character will soft lock into the nearest enemy, which can be a bit annoying when you are trying to attack a certain enemy, but the game will lock you on to another enemy, closer to you, but hidden behind the camera or something.

 Transformers - Devastation is a good game, but it's also lacking. It's fun to smash enemies to bits... but it's also repetitive and simplistic to a fault, with little room for creativity on the player's part. The game looks gorgeous... but there're so few environments and enemy types, with most bosses been reused at least once. There're many different weapon types... but the all more or less behave the same, and making all five characters almost indistinct from one another was a missed opportunity, not to mention the lack of playable Decepticons! Whether you're a fan of the franchise or not, there's fun to be had with Transformers, but don't expect another one of Platinum Game's greatest.

 7.0 out of 10