Now Playing: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(GBA)

 Konami, deliver us from Ubisoft!

 I chose, specifically, to start with Ubisoft's games since I suspected, rightly so, that they'd be the worst of the bunch, and so far, I've been proven right. But now I'm done with Ubisoft's games, so we'll go back in time, back when Konami was still developing the TMNT games. I figure Konami's entries will be the best, so they'll be 'the main dish', taking place in the middle of the Ninja Turtleathon. Man, it's good to be back in Konami's TMNT world!

 I just finished Leonardo's campaign, it was very short, but very good. And I fear that's gonna be the game's theme: Fun, but short.

 I liked the graphics, the Turtles seem to be drawn in a slightly deformed style, with stubby legs, but wide torsos, it took a while to get accustomed, but now I can appreciate it. The animation is nothing to write home about, but it gets the job done. As for the fighting, defeating enemies feels right, but I don't entirely agree with this 'Hold Attack' moves, they aren't very practical... or shouldn't be, but I managed to find some windows of opportunity to abuse it.

 However, there's only one thing, and one thing that I'll complain about, besides the game's apparently short length: Walking turns into a run. Sometimes I just want to walk close to the enemy to initiate a combo... but nope, Leonardo decides to run and turn his next attack into a tackle! Definitely not a good design choice.

 All in all, I'm looking forwards to finishing this one.

Review #243: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Arcade Attack

 And then there was none.

 Arcade Attack could've been something special. A beat'em up, like most of the good TMNT games, taking place in TMNT(2003)'s world, with art inspired by the original comics? Sounds too good to be true, and it was too good to be true. One of the three last games that Ubisoft offered with the TMNT license, and just like 'Smash up' and 'Reshelled', it promised a lot, but wound up being a huge disappointment.

 The game picks up just after Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles(2003)'s 'Back to the Sewers' season ended. Cyber Shredder is up to no good, so the four brothers set-out to destroy him once and for all. While it uses TMNT(2003)'s lore, the game uses beautiful, but very modestly animated, cutscenes made out of art emulating Jim Lee's and Peter Laird's art. While the story is anything but deep, I found the dialogue to be enjoyable and very TMNT-ish, Mirage TMNT-ish rather than the 2003's incarnation. Having good dialogue adds nothing to this game, but I still thought it was worth mentioning.

 Game's a simple beat'em up with barely any depth. You walk to the right, the scrolling locks and you have to defeat every enemy in order to continue. Before each of the 8 stages you can pick any two turtles, the CPU taking over your partner. Something I liked, something that proves that the game had good ideas, but the budget probably got cut down the line(Which is likely what happened to Smash Up as well), is that every turtle has different combos. Mind you, the combat system doesn't allow for juggles, nor anything fancy, but you have hand and weapon attacks, tied to the B and A button, and each turtle has different combos. For example, pressing B A B with Leonardo performs a combo, while Raph's would end at A, and Donatello can't go from B to A. It's proof that they wanted to make turtles different, that they knew what they were doing. Sadly, in the end, while each turtle has different combos, they all play basically the same, even if their stats are different.

 It'd be one thing if the game was simple, but fun, but sadly it ain't. When it comes to beat'em ups, making defeating enemies fun is top priority, since it's the only thing you'll be doing. Sadly, scoring hits in this game doesn't feel good. Connecting hits feel as if you were hitting air, with poor sound effects and animations. Moves lack oomph behind them, if you are gonna make me fight hundreds of enemies, at least make it feel good. Another point of contention is that before each 'enemy wave', the game initiates a 2-3 second long 'cut-scene' in which they walk in. Why they opted to do this is beyond me, but it makes the game drag a bit. This is a repetitive genre by nature, you should avoid wasting the player's time with trivial stuff like that.

 Stages are rather short, but they feel slightly longer than they really are because it's so boring. That said, the game does offer replay value, if you are willing to, in the form of various unlockables. Finishing stages earns you points, which you can then use to buy unlockable modes. Finishing the game in Normal, for example, allows you to buy Survival, Stage Attack and Hard mode. And finishing the game on Hard allows you to buy another mode and another difficulty setting, but I couldn't be arsed to finish the game again, so what those modes are is beyond me. Lastly, you can also play this game with another friend, so that's a plus, if you can coerce someone into playing this.

 The presentation is pretty poor. While the stages look nice, I'll give them that, the character models are terribly simple, and the animation is serviceable at most. Then there's the absolutely gorgeous cutscenes, but I'm willing to bet that if you are not a fan of the comics, you just might find the art a bit... ugly, but for fans, it's quite a treat. On the other hand, the soundtrack was pretty darn good, with music that really got you into the mood for some fisticuffs fighting.

 Ubisoft promised a lot with this game, as well as Reshelled and Smash-up. You can tell that they spent a ton of money in publicity... but for some reason, they didn't spend as much in production values. Arcade Attack has a ton of great ideas: A bevy of unlockables, different movesets for each turtle, getting inspired by the beat'em ups of olde and merging TMNT(2003) with Mirage. It sounds like a winning combination, but everything about the gameplay required a ton of polishing. As it stands, while I can see, I can see the glimmer of the great ideas, the game fails to be fun most of the time. But hey, at least it's not TMNT on the PSP!
 4.0 out of 10

Review #242: TMNT(Gamecube)

 Ubisoft never cared much for the franchise, now did they?

 TMNT was Ubisoft's very first TMNT game after they acquired the rights to the franchise. Hot off the heels of the movie by the same name, TMNT is just your average, run of the mill movie-licensed game that could've been so much more.

 The game follows a slightly version of the movie's story, doing away with secondary characters like Casey, April and Karai. It also alters some events here and there. It's a passable retelling of the movie. The story is told through some hideous comic-book style cut-outs, and a very few clips from the movie. It takes place throughout 16 different stages, hopefully your favorite turtle is either Leonardo or Raphael, since they get the most solo levels, Mikey and Donnie only have a single level each to call their own, and the rest of the levels you play as the whole team... kinda. This is a strictly single player affair, and in the levels in which you can play as every turtle, you can press B to switch between turtles, making the turtle you were using before vanish into thin air. The game takes about 3-4 hours to complete, but there's also 16 unlockable challenge maps, as well as some extras by spending in-game currency.

 TMNT has two major components: Platforming and Fighting. Platforming is not unlike Prince of Persia, you'll jump from wall to wall or to ledges, wallrun across buildings and the such. It looks pretty nice, and the platforming is mostly decent, with the occasional accidental wallrun, which is pretty much a trademark of Ubisoft's games! The road you must follow is pretty linear, although there's a couple of sections that allow for slightly different routes. It's pretty neat that we finally get to do acrobatics across rooftops, which is something seldom seen in TMNT games... however, level design is very uninspired and dull. Every city level is pretty much identical to each other, you'll often wonder if you hadn't already come across certain obstacles. That said, there's a couple of levels that have unique set-pieces, like Mikey's level in which you must jump through giant floats, or a level that ends a top a train, these sparse moments of creativity can be quite fun, if only the rest of the game was as inspired. Now then, each turtle has a unique skill: Raphael can climb through certain walls(That look exactly like every other wall in whichever level they are, but are highlighted by a red light. Brilliant.), Donatello can use his staff to do a vault jump, which you only have to use TWICE in the ENTIRE game, Mikey who can hover with his nunchucks, which are only necessary in his only solo-level and then Leonardo con can... phase through metal bars... Yeah... What's most disappointing about these, is that they could've made from some interesting obstacle courses, but the skill you'll have to use the most is Rapael's, mostly since he has the most solo levels, and Leonardo. Why bother giving each character a unique trait, even if a very lame one, if you are not gonna build levels around exploiting each Turtle's abilities?

 Then there's the fighting, which is pretty much lifeless. Each turtle has the exact same abilities but their normal attack string. I just used Leonardo whenever it was possible since he is fast, strong and his combo covers the biggest area. Each character also has access to the same set of kicks, which break enemies guards, but mashing the normal attack button got me through the game just fine. There's no real depth to the combat, there's a few other abilities, but they are optional  at best and don't offer any possibility for creativity. So, y'know, just mash that X button. Slaying enemies without getting hit will increase your Star gauge, when filled you attacks become one-hit kills for a short while. Then there's dodging and blocking by using the shoulder buttons, team attacks by holding the B button, and a charge attack that works exactly the same for each turtle. Basically, dull and lifeless, like most of the rest of the game. And by the by, on the Nightwatcher levels, they didn't even bother to give him his ball and chain, he just uses the Sais. Amazing. And I didn't even get into the fixed camera angles, which can get in the way of the platforming, or hide enemies.

 The presentation is terrible, character models are simple to a fault, baring any kind of detail. The animation, particularly on the platforming actions, is pretty smooth though. As for the levels... while there's the occasional unique set piece, most of them look pretty bland. But the game as a whole looks blurry, terrible textures and a very washed-out color palette. I'd be hard pressed to be able to differentiate between all the City levels, they look pretty much the same. The music is forgettable, and the voice acting... according to the credits, Nolan North reprises his role as Raphael, but he sounds nothing like he does on the movie, the same holds for the rest of the characters. All in all, the dialogue is passable at best, assuming you don't get tired of hearing the same lines all the friggin' time.

 TMNT for the Gamecube is not terrible, there's fun to be had every now and then, but it's hard to avoid noticing how uninspired and soulless it feels. But hey, at least it's not TMNT on the PSP!
 5.0 out of 10

Now Playing: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Arcade Attack

 Ah! The last Ubisoft game!

 Well, technically there's also 'Turtles in Time Re-Shelled', but that game got delisted, and since said game never got a physical release.... There's absolutely no way to get that game, legally, now. Yup, digital media is the way to go....

 Regardless, Ubisoft decided that instead of going out with a bang, they'd go out with a whimper. Arcade Attack isn't TMNT on the PSP at least, but it's far from being good. As far as I'm concerned, one of the most important parts about a beat'em up is how hitting enemies feels. It's something hard to describe, but it has to do with animations, sound and even the game physics... and this game fails at it. It feels as if I was hitting air, and the slashes and kicks don't sound like slashes or kicks. If you are gonna have me fight enemy after enemy after enemy with a very limited move pool and with little in the way of styling, you damn better make the pummeling satisfying.

 It does have a few things on its favor though. It picks up from where TMNT(2003) left off, which is a plus in my book(Even if it actually picks up after 'Back to the Sewers', which was kinda disappointing) but using the artstyle and dialogue from the comics. Badass. I also like having two turtles on-screen at all times. Then there's the cover, which isn't particularly 'good', but I just love hand drawn art, and what it lacks in finesse, it makes up in style.

 So there's that. It's not too good, but at least it ain't TMNT on the PSP.

Review #241: TMNT(GBA)

 Things are finally starting to look up!

 TMNT on the Gamecube is, so far anyways, mediocre. TMNT on the PSP was downright terrible. TMNT on the GBA, surprisingly, is all kinds of great.

 TMNT(GBA) follows the plot of the movie, d'oh, this time around it's told through blurry movie stills, alongside some text. It's not best way to tell a story, but it does a slightly, veeery slightly better job at it than TMNT on the PSP. Still, if, for whatever reason, you wanted to make the most of the story, watching the movie is a must. This version of TMNT only has Story Mode, and that's about it, there's no multiplayer of any kind, which is a bit disappointing, as it could've been a blast.

 This version of the game is a 2D Beat'em up that borrows a lot from the gran daddy of all beat'em ups: River City Ransom. There's 7 'Acts', but between acts you are thrown into a small Hub, made up of the Base at the sewer, a couple of streets and a rooftop. In this Hub you can enter the various different stores to buy power ups, healing items or even weapons to start with on the next level, using the money you earned by defeating enemies. There's also a couple of mini-games that you can access at the rooftop. To be fair, the game is rather short, but taking into account that this is a beat'em up, repetitive by nature, it's a good thing that it ends right before it gets boring. And finishing the game unlocks a harder difficulty setting. Oh, not that the game is particularly easy, au contraire, it offers a decent challenge. Enemies are plentiful, can deplete your life bar in just a couple of seconds, love to surround you and can take quite a bit of punishment. You are gonna have to be on the move constantly, simply mashing buttons won't take you anywhere in this game.

 The A button is a jump, while B is relegated to your basic attacks. There's an uppercut by holding up when you press B, or a back kick by tapping back+B and a sweep by pressing A and B together. The shoulder buttons can be used to call your brothers when the gauge at the top right of the screen is filled, by defeating enemies. All four turtles have different stats and different combos, but for the most part, they play the same. Plus, you can pick up weapons from fallen enemies to curb stomp other foes. All in all, it gives you a few more tools than most beat'em ups, beating enemies feels satisfying and rewarding, while being challenging without being cheap. It's pretty darn good!

 The game is just gorgeous, sprites are very stylized, detailed and animated very smoothly, that said, there's a rather small amount of different enemies, must be about 6-8 not counting recolors. Still, it's a very colorful game, and the stages are just as detailed. The music is nothing to write home about, but it fulfills its purpose, so that's alright.

 It's surprising how the version of the game that was released on the-then 'ancient' hardware manages to be better than the others. It's very polished, and you can tell that it was made by people that love the genre. It doesn't reinvent the wheel as far as beat'em ups go, but what it does, it does exceedingly well.
 8.0 out of 10

Now Playing: TMNT(GBA)

 Now we are talkin'!

  Now this, THIS is a game worthy of the TMNT moniker. This is an oldschool Beat'em up that borrows quite a few elements from the legendary River City Ransom. Defeating enemies makes them drop coins, and/or whichever weapon they were carrying, if they were warrying one, which you can then spend after each 'ACT' on food, life-ups, to start the next ACT with a weapon or even increase your stats. I'm still not sure if these stat increases affect every turtle or just the one who bought it, so I refrained from buying any, Raph, 'tis all cool, but I'd rather beef up my Leo.

 As for cons... I got my butt handed to me on the second level, but I think it might be a tad too challenging. Enemies deal a ton of damage, and they are smart enough to surround you! Not only that, but they can tank quite a few amount of hits. That said, the stages themselves are just fine, but bosses seem kinda hard. The first one, Hun, I beat by brute forcing my way through his rockets, if I hadn't had as many lives, I doubt I would've beaten him!

 Still, TMNT on the GBA is awesome.

Review #240: TMNT(PSP)

 Makes me wanna cry.

 A few years ago, TMNT - The Movie was released to a somewhat lukewarm reception. While the critics were mostly negative, the movie did do well, and the high quality of the visuals and animation was undeniable. That said, up to this point in time, Konami had developed each and every Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game, but it was Ubisoft's turn now. And they botched it.

 The game follows the movie's storyline, told throughout movie stills and a few, short movie clips, all of which contain no voiced scenes. It's expected of the player to have seen the movie beforehand, because the game makes a poor job at explaining what's happening and why, but if you watched the movie you'll be able to fill in the gaps. Still, this is not a game where the story plays a big part, so not understanding the story isn't a big deal, and even if you make sense of it, it can't pull this game forward. There's also a Multiplayer Mode, but it being the PSP 'n all... I kinda had no way of trying it out!

 The game is made up of two different components: Platforming sections and Combat sections. The Platforming is the least bad of them both, you move your turtle towards blue sparks, and then you'll see one to three other blue sparks in the distance. Now you must press Square to jump to the spark on the left, Triangle to go towards the one in front of you or Circle to go to the one on the left. You should be timing your button presses in order to go faster, the better you do, the more health you'll recover throughout these segments. Besides the occasional 'that spark was on the left yet I'm supposed to press Triangle?!', these sections are functional... but dull. Really, not much happens during these sections, and they aren't very exciting, which would've made up for how automatic they feel.

 And then there's the fighting... and it's very clunky. Aiming your attacks is tough, the four turtles and the NightWatcher(Raphael with a chain) move all over the place while you press the X button, and there's something very off about the ways your attacks interact with the enemies. Something about it feels very clunky, the animations are ugly, for some reason your turtles stop dead on their tracks for 1 to 2 seconds after finishing an attack string... which can be avoided by abusing the 'Block' button to cancel animations. It's hard to pinpoint exactly why it's so bad, but I think the word 'cheap' fits the bill. It feels as if you were playing a mobile game. Landing hits doesn't feel satisfying, the animations are so rough that it makes the fighting look awkward. And by the by, each Turtle is assigned to a different level, so you can't even pick your poison.

 As for the presentation.... It's a glorified mobile game. Graphics are disgustingly simple, animations are choppy and stiff, there's no voice acting and the music is pretty much forgettable. Level design is repetitive, and the visual design is uninspired. Every city stage, which must take up about 10 of the 15 levels looks about the same. And even worse, the game is rather short, each level easily takes less than 10 minutes to complete.... and yet the game is so boring, so dull, that it feels as if it would never end.

 TMNT on the PSP is terrible. It's uninspired and lifeless, poorly made and with nary a single redeeming quality. This is the kind of game you play if you hate yourself.
 1.5 out of 10