What is wrong with my Dynasty Warriors 7? Part 3

 It's 6 AM, just came back from the hospital. I'm shaking, I'm too scared to go back to my room and I don't know what to do. My friend came home to play this "cursed DW" as he mockingly called it... We booted up the game, and it skipped al cinemas and got right into the game itself. My friend doesn't play DW, so he didn't find anything odd, meanwhile, I knew something was gonna happen so I... I smiled. I didn't know this was gonna happen, I feel... I feel so stupid, so bad. I was such an idiot.
 Let's see if I remember it right, my mind is still a bit foggy, and I'm getting goosebumps all over. Heck, I just locked my room's door, just in case... Anyways, I think my friend was made to play as Xiahou Ba, and it was on one of the jungly stages. Everything was fine, allies weren't attacking him nor anything, so I went into the kitchen to fetch food, and when I came back.... My friend he... he was  convulsing frenetically on the floor, and I could tell he was bleeding from the nose.
 I called an ambulance, and while it got here, I unplugged the PS3, while the Cao Cao-Lu Bu on the screen was laughing in the creepiest, most hollow-like voice I've ever heard in my life.  Once in the hospital, the doctor started questioning me, and I didn't know what to say. My friend had never had any problems with convulsions, as far as I knew, and if I told them "A videogame did it" they'd think I was some kind of idiot, so I just stuck to "I don't know, we were just watching TV".
 Thing is, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm scared. I'm too scared. Every now and then I peek into the doorway just to check. Please, help me. Help me.



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What's wrong with my Dynasty Warriors 7? Part 2

 I tried to play again after a good night sleep, and... oh man. I picked a random mission, and selected my tuned up Cao Pi. As soon as the mission started, my allies started HITTING ME. I tried hitting back, but my moves would go through them. I figured the game glitched, so I paused the game, to pick "End Mission" but as I went to pick the options I noticed... the game wasn't paused at all and I was getting hit!. Worst part? After I picked End Mission, the game just... unpaused. I tried again and same deal. I figured I'd just kill the enemies and be done with the mission, right? Wrong. Both enemies and allies were had it in for me, and  I was managing pretty well, untill I noticed... whenever I killed one of the enemies, my Kill counter wouldn't go up, and their HP would refill.
 It gets weirder. I started running from them, and Cao Cao appeared on top of a Black Red Mare. Weirder yet? It was Cao Cao's face on Lu Bu's body. He signaled at me, the PLAYER, with his sword and emitted a sound... the same sound from the glitched room from yesterday. Then a "Failed" popped up and I was allowed to exit the mission...
 Guys, I don't believe in supernatural stuff, but I'm pretty weirded out right now. I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about this. Should I keep playing or throw away my disc?

UPDATE: Koei's response:
Dear Ignacio,
 Thank you for purchasing DYNASTY WARRIORS 7, we recieved your inquiry, and this is the first time any of us at the offices had heard of anything like it. I asked the translation team and they said that no such line was recorded or even put into the script. My co-workers at QA said that your console might've overheated, and you probably thought that you had heard it. If problems persist, send us your disc, and we will send you a new one.

                                                      Chip Soon Sun, Community Manager at Tecmo-Koei

 

 Right, 'cause sending them my defective disc is totally posible from where I live. Regardless, I'm sure, SURE that I heard what I heard. Since my friends kept egging me on, and just to prove Koei wrong, I will play again tonight, when one of my friends comes over to check this out.

What's wrong with my Dynasty Warriors 7?

 Hi guys, today's entry will be a little different, 'cause honestly, I'm incredibly creeped out right now. Y'see, my family just left for the holidays, but I stayed at home, so right now I'm completely alone in my apartment. Due to the LoL EU tournamente, I kinda haven't slept in like... 35 hours or so, so every now and then I start getting sleepy.
 Anyways, here's the deal, I was playing Dynasty Warriors 7, a game I love, and I was playing Zhang Liang's legendary mission 3. I noticed my conciousness started slipping every now and then, since I'd find myself on top of my horse running towards a wall, but as much as I tried to muster my energies, I was playing half asleep.
 Suddenly, I come to my senses and I'm stuck in a room, behind locked doors. What's funny, is that the sky is red, the clouds are black, and the walls surrounding me, including the big door are white. And for some reason the music got glitched, and started making funny noises. I tried hitting the walls, jumping towards them, searching for switches, mind you, DW 7 has no switches, but I was desperate. Also, the green arrow signaling my position was placed OUTSIDE the map. I don't have a capture card, but I taped it with my phone, so I'm gonna try to upload it on youtube after adding some words with Video Maker.



UPDATE:
HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.
I dont even holy shit. I was editing the video, and while trying to get the damn program to unfreeze, I played it back... the sound WASN'T GLITCHED, and a perfectly clear voice could be heard saying "stop killing us or youll regret it" Holy fucking shit, english isn't my native language, so when I figured it out I shat bricks, literally. Im still scared.
Worst part?
The video got lost. The file on my cellphone got corrupted. Im freaking out right now. Maybe Im so tired Im messing up? I mean, right now I know im on my senses, but it doesnt make any sense otherwise. Dammit, my fingers are still shaking, so sorry if my typing is a little wonky. I'm gonna send Koei an E-mail, maybe I got into a debug Room, or it's some sort of joke? The voice was in english, so Koei's american branch is in the know.

Archview #8: Trauma Team

 A must-have Wii exclusive .

 Trauma Team is so unexpectedly good. I went in expecting another by-the-numbers motion-based Wii game... it was anything but. Trauma Team tells the story of 6 different doctors(kinda) and their exploits at Resurgam Hospital. Each doctor has a different speciality, there's Maria Torres, who deals with first-aid, she gets the easiest operations, but has to juggle multiple victims at once, Gabriel Cunningham of Diagnosis, in which you have to question and study the pacients to figure out what's wrong with them. Hank Freebird deals with Orthopedics, he gets to fix up bones, Tomoe Tachibana has the Endoscopy missions, which are the worst of the bunch, CR-S01, a criminal who lost his memory, but is a gifted surgeon gets the more complex operations, and lastly, Naomi Kimishima, who gets my favorite missions, forensics. You have to study the corpses, personal effects and crime scenes to determine the causes of death.
 Unlike most Wii-games of it's ilk, Trauma Team gets motion controls right. They feel good, and the game wouldn't be the same without it. The Endoscopy controls are a bit cumbersome, and there's some positioning annoyances with it, other than that, these motion controls work. As stated before, there are many specialties, but they can be divided in two kinds: Operations and Exploration. Diagnosis and Forensics deal with exploration and deduction. They only require you to point at places or dialogue boxes and investigate. Operations, however, have you pointing with the Wiimote in order to use the various tools, selected with the analog on the Nunchuck.

 The story is told via some amazing artwork. There's not much animation, but with such a detailed and colorful art, you kinda don't mind it. The graphics during the operations are very simple, but they get the job done. It's easy to tell what is what, and they also use bright colors, keeping in line with the art. The music I found to be appropiate for the game, and the ending theme is a bit addictive, albeit a bit cheesy. Voice-acting is...variable. There is some great voice acting on some of the characters, and others are a bit weak. The dialogue is as cheesy as it can get, with Tomoe mentioning "The path of honor" at least 1 per episode, or Hank speaking of "Justice" every chance he gets.
 The game lasts a good 15-20 hours, if you don't skip cut-scenes(Which you shouldn't). You can tackle the story-mode either by character or following the timeline, eventually all the timelines meet for the 13-chapter long finale. There are about 8-10 different operations per character, 3 different difficulty levels(Not applicable for Diagnosis and Forensics) and multiple challenges per level, so there's a bit of replay value, but not unlockables of worth(Unless you enjoy the art-less "Extra" audio quips).

 Albeit initially jarring, the game mixes some very dark storylines, like the sweet old lady whose tumor made her hallucinate, which in turn, made her kill her daughter and attempt to murder her spouse, with some light-hearted elements, like Tomoe being a Ninja(And having a ninja buttler to boot!) and one of the doctors moonlighting as a hero(He dresses in spandex and acts the part!). Surprisingly, it works, and the game will make you care about some of the characters!
 What can I say? The game is amazing. I wasn't expecting that from a "Doctor's game", but it's really good. The gameplay is fun, the story is engaging and it proves that motion controls don't necesarily suck. Trauma Team is a must-have for any Wii-owner, even if not a fan of the genre(Is it even a genre?), they should give it a try. I did, and I was not dissapointed.
 It's a 9 out of 10.

Archview #7: Cardinal Syn

 It was bad.

 Cardinal Syn is not your typical fighter. In fact, it has more in common with Power Stone than anything. Matches are 1 v 1, in a big arena, filled with hazards and items, you even get a run button for 8-way movement around the arena.
 You have 3 types of attacks, Low, Horizontal and Vertical, certain combination provide... strings(more on this later), and characters get a couple of special moves. Blocking is done with a button, which is also used for parrying enemy attacks. Jumping is also done with a button, you get pushes and grabs with another button and then there's the free run button. Options, the game provides in spades, much more than your average fighter of it's era, it's a shame the gameplay itself sucks.

 Y'see, strings are not like the Strings from other 3D fighters. Here, the oponent can block after the first hit hits, what does it mean? There are no true strings. After the first hit, it's a guessing game, a guessing game in which the CPU always has the edge, since it knows what's coming. This game should be played with another person(If you can convince anyone, maybe put Tekken's cover on the case?). There are only two ways for the strings to work 100%: attack from behind or juggling. Oh yes, there is juggling, but it feels awkward. Sometimes, when the jugglee is too close to a wall, his position will "reset" closeby, it looks really odd, like most of the game!
 The game also has items around the arena.... which is an oddly half baked system. There are chests around the stage, and they may contain one out of four items: A sword, which enhances you strenght, an Orange potion, which restores HP, a Blue potion, which lets you use your special and bombs, which explode on contact.... Four items? it feels unfinished, you are better off turning off items. Yes, the developers had the foresight to allow you to disable hazards and items.

 Character designs are bad, and the graphics are bad too. Surprisingly, the stages themselves look good, and a couple of them are really cool. The game has many little details, like characters getting hurt(They will show cuts on their bodies) and blood spatters stay on the ground. Also, hitting a wall will make your weapon bounce off it(leaving you open for an attack). It's little things like these that show that, at least, they tried. There are also some really crappy intros and endings.... for each of the 18 charactes. They tried.
 The Single Player mode is hard, even on easy, due to the CPU's ability of knowing how you are gonna attack next. It doesn't help that there is are no movelists in the game, forcing you to look up the moves online. Each character unlocks another one, which sounds cool, until you realize that they are mostly clones of the unlocker, like Kensei, except that these character designs are worse. At least they each have their own intro, ending, stage and fatality.

 Cardinal Syn is a bad game, it has some very dumb design decisions, like blocking during strings, but the little things show that they tried to make a good game. They tried.
 It's a 3 out of 10.

First ArchImpressions: Alundra & Cardinal Syn

 Who holds a sword like this?

 Yeah! Filler! Before the Trauma Team review!. Anyways, Alundra, it's awesome. Seriously. I'm 2-3 hours in, and while I'm not a Zelda fan, and this is a Zelda clone, I love it. I have a few issues with it, though, first of all, no map. The Dungeons, so far, are small enough as not to need a map, but the overworld? It's easy to get lost. Also, I know Working Designs cut some their HP, but bosses still have too much HP. Enemies too. Can't wait to get a new Sword!.

 Props to Working Design for their translation, they always keep the same flair and humor in their translations. Bonair's chapter was a riot!. Speaking of Bonair, that's the last thing I played, so I'll be picking up from there.

 Yes, I bought this game. My quest to own each and every PS1 fighting game demanded it. And.... it was better than I thought. Maybe it's because I expected an unresponsive disaster, judging from everything I had read and seen before buying it, that I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe because I played it with a friend, which might've made it more tolerable. But after selling him on the idea "This game is gonna be so bad. I knew it was bad before I even bought it", we both agreed: It's not THAT bad.

 Oh oh oh! And and... Progress Report! I'm about halfway done with replaying Megaman Starforce 2, this time I picked Ninja(Instead of Saurian). I remembered it as the weakest in the trilogy... and I was right. Starforce 1 is great, Starforce 2 is just... more of the same, slightly refined. I can't wait to get to Starforce 3(Which I remember as being the best Starforce game). 

 

Archview #6: Earth Defence Force: Insect Armageddon

 Now this game is right up my alley....

 EDF is an arcadey third-person shooter, and like most arcadey games, that means it's just the game I like. No frills, much thrills straight to the point action, and that's the way I like it. The game is very simple, Aliens have manipulated insects genetically, making them enormous and able to spew damaging liquids(Or damaging cobwebs in the case of spiders), and are using them to invade and ravage earth, and it's up to the Earth Defence Force to stop them.

 You get to pick from one out of four different classes. Each class has different weapons avaiable to them, and each one has different perks. The Battle Armor is slow, but has a Shield and some Energy Attacks, and can take damage like a sponge. The Jet armor grants flight, but flying and reloading now share a regenerating Energy Bar, which if depleted, takes a long while to recover. The Tactical Armor provides different kind of turrets, and lastly, the Trooper, which has no special gimmick, but gets faster reload and reviving speeds. Before each missions, you get to pick two different weapons, but since this is a very arcadey game, ammo is unlimited, with the tradeoff that reloading takes a while. If your timing is good, you can halve the time by pressing reload at the right time.

 Visually, it looks like a PS2 game, which is to be expected from a budget game, but then again, PS2 graphics are not bad. On the plus side, there's little to no slowdown, even when the screen gets crowded with insects. Most of the structures in each stage are destructible, which is awesome. The music is serviceable, and the voice acting is passable. There are loads of cheesy lines, and they sometimes tried to add some funny lines... but they are not too funny. Sound effects are a bit to low, so it's a good idea to temper with the sound settings. They should have added subtitles, since most of the dialogue gets lost amidst the explotions and the gunfire.

 Something that got on my nerves a bit was the lack of damage feedback. It's hard to tell if you are actually hurting or hitting something, since there are no audio cues and the little blood spatters from bullet-based weapons are hard to see, the enemies don't even flinch, so they proceed to move as if nothing.

 

 The game is quite short, with a total of 15 levels spread throughout 3 chapters. The game lasts about 2 to 4 hours on Normal, but higher difficulties will take more time, since enemies get harder to kill, even with higher tier weapons. This, being an arcadey game, was made with replayability in mind, and after you beat it, you unlocked remixed mode, with different enemies on the levels. There's also a Survival Mode. Oddly enough, while Campaign and Remixed Campaign allow for Online or Offline Co-Op, Survival Mode can only be played Cooperatively online. It also has loads of weapons per class. Classes also level up, but it takes a long time to level up each one, perhaps a bit too long. The few enemy types do get a bit repetitive after a while.
 There are quite a few different Vehicles and Turrets on some levels, which help alleviate the repetitiveness, but on higher difficulties, your weapons will probably be much more usefull. This game is better played on Co-Op, since the AI is a bit dumb. For example, they won't sprint to revive you, instead settling for running while shooting. Also, even if they have an enemy right on their face, they will still use explosives and harm themselves. And both of those things don't mix well together, they will die before getting to your corpse! 

 Earth Defence Force: Insect Armageddon is a very good game, but it could've use some more time in the oven to iron out some quirky bugs, enhance the AI and maybe add 5 more levels. Regardless, if you are looking for an action packed game that is not trying to be something else, you can't go wrong with it.

 It's a 7 out of 10.